View source for Sporehunt!

=Episode 1=

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<title>T &amp; M Productions, in conjunction with Xadium Studios and the SSSC</title>

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<p class=MsoTitle><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>T &amp; M Productions, in
conjunction with Xadium Studios                                               
and the Suburban Senshi Signal Corps</span></p>

<p class=MsoTitle><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Shamelessly present…</span></p>

<p class=MsoTitle>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoTitle>Suburban Senshi : Sporehunt</p>

<p class=MsoSubtitle>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoSubtitle>Episode One : Chibiusa and Helios Missing!  The Insanity
Begins!</p>

<p class=MsoSubtitle>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoSubtitle><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>By Solarchos</span></p>

<p class=MsoSubtitle><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoSubtitle align=left style='text-align:left;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoSubtitle align=left style='text-align:left;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>Author’s Note : The following story and its sequels
are works of pure parody and fiction and do not represent actual views,
attitudes, and feelings.  Except in regard to Chibiusa Tsukino who needs to be
summarily executed.  Just about all of the characters portrayed in this are
pretty much the property of someone else.  They know who they are.  I’m not
stealing them; I’m just borrowing them for a little bit.  Imitation and
imagination are the sincerest forms of flattery.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoSubtitle align=left style='text-align:left;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoSubtitle align=left style='text-align:left;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>It was business as usual at the home of the Suburban
Senshi.  Minako was her usual annoyingly perky self, humming happily as she
cooked something in the kitchen for dinner.  Hotaru was quietly reading “The
Canterbury Tales” on the couch.  Artemis was stretched out beside her, smiling
contentedly as Hotaru idly scratched him behind the ears.  Downstairs they
could faintly hear the mad laughter of Professor Tomoe as he worked on yet
another inexplicable experiment.  Rei.Bot was elsewhere in the house, probably
linked up to one of the computers and maintaining everyone’s favorite website. 
Haruka was out in the garage trying to remove a woodchuck that had gotten
sucked into the carburetor of her latest sports car.  Michiru was working on a
new painting.  Jedite was nowhere to be seen.  And Dr. Xadium was still missing
in Rappongi.  Hotaru put down her book and sighed.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
know,” she began, “It’s kinda boring around here without Xadium.  I wish
something would happen.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Careful
what you wish for,” called out Minako as she pulled something out of the oven,
“You just might forget it.  Okay, dinner is served!”  Artemis got up and
quickly scampered over.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh,
I don’t smell anything,” said Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Me
neither,” added Artemis, “What were you cooking?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
cooked the biggest chicken I could find so everyone dig in!” said Minako
happily as she ripped the aluminum foil off the platter and revealed her
culinary creation for all to see…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>…a
completely raw 14-pound chicken.  Everyone stared at it and sweatdropped.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oops!”
said Minako, knocking on the side of her head and smiling, “I guess I forgot to
turn on the oven.  My bad!”  She started laughing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mina!”
cried Artemis, “How could you forget something as important as that?!”  Before
Minako could reply, the front door opened and Jedite came inside.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
hope you brought a pizza ‘cause dinner’s going to be late,” said Hotaru. 
Jedite walked into the den, holding a thickly padded envelope.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No,
it’s not a pizza,” replied the former </span><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Dark</span><span
 style='font-size:12.0pt'> </span><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Kingdom</span><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'> general, “I’m not sure what this is.”  Hotaru got up,
walked over, and they both looked at it.  It was an overnight certified mail
Fed-Ex package to the “Suburban Senshi”, but there was no return address.  Just
then Haruka walked into the kitchen.  She smelled the air, then stopped in her
tracks.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
thought dinner was cooking,” she began, “Why don’t I smell anything?”  Artemis
swatted Minako’s leg with a paw.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mihoshi
here forgot to turn on the oven,” he explained.  Minako smiled broadly and
laughed a little, trying to look cute.  Haruka noticed the Fed-Ex package
Hotaru was holding.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
it looks like we’re ordering out tonight,” said Haruka, “What’s that, Hotaru?” 
Hotaru shrugged.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
don’t know,” she replied, “Jed brought it in.  It’s addressed to us, but
there’s no return address.  It’s postmarked from yesterday.”  Hotaru began to
open it.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“DON’T!”
shouted Haruka as she dropped to the floor and rolled underneath the table, “It
might be a letter bomb from Nephrite!  I knew he’d try something like this
sooner or later!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
please,” retorted Hotaru as she ripped open the package and peered inside,
“Okay, there’s a DVD box and a letter.”  Everyone in the room gathered around
Hotaru, curious as she began reading the letter aloud.  “To the Suburban
Senshi.  Please enjoy the enclosed DVD movie we created for your viewing
pleasure.  We’re certain you’ll find our creative efforts worth your time.  Our
only request of you is that you ALL watch it at the same time…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
is it?  A porno?” asked someone from behind them all.  They turned around to
see Prof. Tomoe standing behind them, grinning madly as usual.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Papa,
where did you come from?” asked Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
got access to the internal cameras,” he replied, “Well secluded, I see ALL!  Muahahahahahaha!” 
Haruka sweatdropped a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh,
what do you mean by that?” she asked.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
worry Te’noe,” said Tomoe, “I won’t tell anyone about you and Michiru and that
tub of Cool Whip.  Muahahahahahaha!!”  Jedite and Artemis recoiled a little and
stared at Haruka.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Papa!!”
exclaimed Hotaru.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So
that’s what happened to all the Cool Whip,” said Minako.  Hotaru sighed loudly
and kept reading.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Just
so you know, we are the one’s responsible for the recent disappearance of
Chibiusa and Helios…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“WHAT??!!”
exclaimed everyone.  Hotaru continued reading.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Again,
we ask that ALL of you watch the movie in its entirety.  All will be
explained.  Signed : M.A. of T &amp; M Productions.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
spore’s missing, huh?” mused Jedite, “I really hadn’t noticed.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Maybe
this is a snuff-film,” stated Tomoe.  A few people were looking strangely at
Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“M.A.?”
asked Haruka, “Minako Aino?”  Minako shook her head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Not
me!  I don’t know anything about this.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
gonna find Michiru and Rei.Bot and get them down here,” said Artemis as he
dashed upstairs.  Hotaru pulled out the DVD box and examined it.  The cover was
a simple piece of paper upon which a VHS sticker had been affixed.  Written on
it in black marker was the title : SPOREHUNT.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right!  It IS a snuff-film!” cried Jedite, “Hoody-hoo!”  He and Tomoe
high-fived each other.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Everyone
sat in front of the huge widescreen TV that Haruka had bought a while ago…using
money that was supposed to have been used for Hotaru’s birthday gift.  Hotaru
had received an issue of Newtype Magazine and Haruka later received a Silence
Glaive in the butt.  Haruka had pulled every can of beer, soda, and juice from
the refrigerator, Jedite had made an emergency run to the nearest McDonald’s,
and everyone else was anxiously waiting.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
name is unknown…this “T and M Productions”…never heard of them,” intoned Rei.Bot.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’d
like to know who this M.A. really is,” said Tomoe, “I wanna get their catalog! 
Muahahahahaha!”  Michiru glanced at Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Can
we trade places?” she asked Minako, “I’ve got a bad feeling he’s going to be
laughing tonight.  Often and vehemently.”  Meanwhile, Haruka opened the DVD
box.  There were a total of four DVD’s, all marked “Sporehunt” and numbered. 
Taking a deep breath, she inserted the first disc and pressed “play” on the
remote.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Let’s
get this party started,” she sighed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HELL
YEAH!!!” screamed Jedite and Tomoe.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Papa…”
groaned Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>STAY
TUNED FOLLOWING THIS MOVIE FOR SPECIAL OFFERS!</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HELL
YEAH!!!” screamed Jedite and Tomoe, again.  Michiru grabbed a pillow off the
floor and swatted them both in the head with it.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>THIS
FILM HAS NOT BEEN RATED BY THE MOTION PICTURE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA…PRIMARILY
BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO IDEA OF IT’S EXISTANCE AND ARE MERELY A PUPPET RUN BY THE
RICH PRODUCERS IN HOLLYWOOD…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Hotaru
nodded knowingly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“See? 
See?  I’ve been saying that all along.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>…THIS
FILM CONTAINS SCENES OF INTENSE GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, FOUL LANGUAGE, ADULT THEMES,
AND SITUATIONS INVOLVING YOUNG SCHOOLGIRLS AND TENTACLE MONSTERS…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YES!!!”
shouted Haruka.  Michiru quickly thwapped her upside the head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>…VIEWER
DISCRETION IS ADVISED.  WEAK-WILLED, SQUEAMISH BUNGHOLES LEAVE THE ROOM NOW. 
PARENT WATCHDOG GROUPS CAN GO F&amp;^% THEMSELVES.  NYAH-NYAH.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>GOD
BLESS THE FOURTH AMENDMENT.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Everyone burst out into snickers.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Talk
about blowing their nose at authority,” said Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Screw
those parent watchdog groups!” called out Haruka, “Preach on!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Weak-willed
and squeamish?  Okay, Hotaru, looks like you can’t watch this.  See ya,” said
Jedite.  Without turning around Hotaru flipped off Jedite.  “Oooo!  Goth-girl’s
getting feisty!  If Helios was here he’d be getting pretty turned on by now.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
but he’s not here,” replied Hotaru, “I can’t wait to see what this is all
about.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
screen went blank for a second or so, then…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>THE
FOLLOWING IS A PUBLIC-SERVICE MESSAGE FROM T &amp; M PRODUCTIONS…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Camera
Point of View ( or C-Pov for short ) – frontal picture of the head and
shoulders of none other than Usagi Tsukino’s smiling face.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“First
of all, we must internalize the flatulation of the matter by transmitting the
effervescence of the Senshisian proximity in order to further segregate the
crux of my venereal infection,” explained Usagi, “Now if I may retain my fluids
here for one moment I’d like to continue the redundance of my quote-unquote
intestinal tract.  You see, because to preclude on the issue of world
domination would only circumvent, excuse me, circumcise the revelation that
reflects the Anglo-disiatic symptoms, which now perpetuates the bishonens
activation.”  The camera slowly zoomed out, showing Usagi sitting at her desk
in the middle of an empty classroom at school.  The word “Detention” was
prominently written on the blackboard.  Miss Haruna sat at the main desk,
slowly and repeatedly thudding her head against the surface of it as she slowly
went insane.  “Do not misinterpret the chauvanistic…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Give
to the United Odango Scholarship Fund,” stated the female announcer, “Because a
mind is a terrible thing to develop without help.”  The exact same words
appeared on the screen, framing Usagi’s face. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Allow
me to expose my colon once again,” stated Usagi as the camera zoomed in on her
again, “The ramification inflicted on the incision placed within the rectal
cavity serves to be holistic, taken from the Latin word “jalapeno”…”  The image
froze, the camera zoomed out, and Usagi’s face was framed above the caption –
Understand What the F%^$ You’re Talking About! </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Everyone
stared slack-jawed and face-faulting at the TV, their heads tilting slightly to
the side.  Faint wisps of smoke wafted from Rei.Bot’s ears.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the f#%$ was that?!” demanded Michiru loudly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Did
these guys somehow invent a way to record an acid trip?” asked Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Incontestable proof that Usagi Tsukino’s on crack!”
added Haruka.  Tomoe immediately burst out into mad laughter.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“People of Earth, your future Queen!” he shrieked,
“Muahahahahahaha!!!”  Minako reached over, grabbed one of Haruka’s beers, and
proceeded to start drinking.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
think I’m gonna need this,” she announced.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
screen went dark again for another second or so.  Then pictures of eerie, dark
buildings, alleyways, and deserted streets began showing.  The song “The
Beautiful People” by Marilyn Manson began playing.  Every so often dark images
of moving people appeared, only these went your usual salarymen and kids in
school uniforms that were common to Tokyo.  These were pictures of
scary-looking people.  Some were dressed in black clothing and lurked in
shadowy alleys.  One person was a red-haired girl in white shorts and a
long-sleeved jacket with a long broad-bladed sword and a particularly demented
grin on her face.  Some were dressed in white bodysuits and wore black derby
hats.  Some looked like Mexican wrestlers with freaky masks and facepaint.  A
few looked like the Crazy 88’s from “Kill Bill, Volume 1”.  All of them looked
like total freaks.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>T
&amp; M PRODUCTIONS…IN ASSOCIATION WITH XADIUM STUDIOS AND THE SSSC…SHAMELESSLY
PRESENTS…SPOREHUNT</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– a dimly-lit room that was empty apart from a few cots and some bits of
trash.  Lying motionless on the cots were none other than Chibi-Usa ( dressed
as Sailor Chibi-Moon ), Helios in his normal human form, Zoicite, FishEye in
his famous “Michelin Tireman suit”, and Minako’s much-despised mascot
Nako-Nako.  All of them were wearing solid metal collars.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nako-Nako!!”
cried Minako, sobbing a little, “Why does everyone hate her so much?  She’s
never done anything.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Except
be born,” grumbled Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“She
just wants to bring joy and love to the world!” continued Minako, “Everyone
would love her if they just gave her a chance!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> “Remember
that art challenge we had on the website back in March?” said Hotaru, “I think
the Internet community made their opinion known.  Nako had her chance and the
world said “no”.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“God,
some of those pics were vicious,” commented Tomoe, “I loved them all!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Chibiusa…!”
called out a female voice over a concealed microphone.  The voice spoke with an
accent that sounded Irish or Scottish.  “Wake up.  Wake up, fungus!”  Chibiusa
and her pals slowly began to stir.  “Wake!! Up!!”  Chibiusa suddenly sat up
with a cry, startled.  She looked around fearfully at her surrounding,
obviously wondering where the hell she was and why the hell she was in a crappy
deserted room with Helios, Zoicite, FishEye, and Nako-Nako.  Then she noticed
the collars they all wore and quickly realized she was wearing one, too.  The
camera quickly zoomed in on her as she began feeling the collar, trying to find
the lock.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
wouldn’t do that if I were you,” stated the voice, “They’re all locked using a
rather sophisticated lock that includes both electronic and mechanical systems. 
You can’t pick them.”  Chibiusa leapt to her feet and began saying something (
loudly by the way her mouth was moving ) but no sound could be heard.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Look
on the floor at the center of the room,” advised the voice, “On that piece of
cardboard you’ll find five ear-mike radios.  Put them on.”  Everyone slowly
made their way over and took one.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh…hello? 
Is this thing working?” asked Zoicite.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Certainly,”
replied the voice, “I’m hearing you just fine.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
f#%$ing b@$tard!!” screamed Chibiusa, “You c&amp;%*sucking, mother-f%#$ing,
chicken-s^$% son of a b#%^h!!  Who the f%$# do you…??!!”  A huge deafening
squeal of feedback ripped through their radios, making all five of them wince
painfully.  Even the Suburban Senshi watching in the comfort of their den cringed
a little bit.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ye
got quite a mouth there, don’t ya, little girl?” retorted the voice, “If ye
must know my name, you can just call me M.A. or just M if you’d prefer.  Those
ear-piece radios will allow you to talk to each other and me and you’d better
start liking it because I’m you’re only hope of getting out of this alive.” 
FishEye burst out into tears, sobbing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
fiend!” he whimpered, “Why are you doing this to us?  We haven’t done anything
except try to enslave or exterminate the people of this planet for the greater
good!”  Chibiusa and Helios both sweatdropped.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Let
me put it to you this way,” stated M.A.  The camera zoomed in and focused on
Chibiusa.  “Chibiusa Tsukino, also known as Sailor Chibi-Moon or Reeny. 
Despised by millions of anime fans the world over.  Very few anime characters
have as many anti-shrines as you do.  Bounty : 30000 dollars American.”  The
camera focused on Helios.  “Helios, alias Pegasus, alias Horse-boy.  Your
crimes are multiple counts of pedophilia, promoting bestiality, and trying to
convince the world you’re actually a rap artist when you sing worse than
Milli-Vanilli.  Bounty : 24000 dollars American.”  The camera moved over to
Zoicite.  “Zoicite, also known as Zoi-boy.   You’re wanted on multiple counts
of aggravated assault, energy draining without a license, and the murder of one
“Maxfield Stanton”.  Bounty : 12000 dollars American.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Now
wait just a second…!” objected Zoicite, “That was Nephrite and he’s not dead,
dammit!”  The camera moved over to FishEye, who was smiling nervously.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“FishEye,
one of the infamous Amazon Trio,” continued M.A., “You’re also wanted on
multiple counts of aggravated assault, indecent exposure, conspiracy to commit
bodily harm to schoolgirls, and numerous animal rights groups as well as the
humane society want to talk to you.  Bounty : 9000 dollars American.”  FishEye
frowned and flipped off the camera.  There were none of those fuzzy patches to
cover up his extended middle finger.  The camera moved sideways, then angled
down and focused on Nako-Nako, who adjusted her little cowboy hat and shifted
nervously.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Back
at home, everyone leaned forward a little, eager to hear what Nako-Nako was
wanted for.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Little
Nako-Nako…” announced M.A.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
asked Nako-Nako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You’ve
got more skeletons in your closet than anyone else here.  So many that I dare
not say them out loud.  However…”  There was a slight click as M.A. changed
frequencies so that only she and the others could hear what was being said…much
to the Suburban Senshi’s disappointment.  Chibiusa, Helios, Zoicite, and
FishEye, however, were all visibly shaken by what they heard, and Nako-Nako
burst out into tears.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
did that?!  You sick f#%$!!!” exclaimed Chibiusa.  FishEye rushed over to the
corner and threw up.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
bounty out on you is 15000 dollars American…alive,” stated M.A., “30000 dollars
DEAD!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Back
at home, everyone was staring at Minako in astonishment.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?”
asked Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
in Metallia’s name did that little freak do to warrant a “double if dead”
bounty?” demanded Jedite, “I really want to know.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
don’t know!” retorted Minako, “The agency just introduced her to me one day.  I
didn’t ask any questions.  I didn’t look a gift donkey in the tail to see if it
was pinned on!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“She’s
one sick psycho,” intoned Rei.Bot, “A la Hannibal Lector…Pokemon fillets.” 
Tomoe burst out into insane laughter.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Just
to refresh your hazy memories,” continued M.A, “Some friends of mine succeeded
in capturing all of you a few hours ago but I managed to convince them to let
you go.  Mind you, it wasn’t easy, but I figured we could have some real fun
with you morons and make more money than the bounties themselves.  So, you’re
all getting a second chance, another roll at the dice.  As far as the world’s
concerned you’re all @$$holes.  Whatever fans you’ve got in the real world
can’t help you here.  You are all alone and on your own.  Chibiusa, you’ve got
your fuku and underneath your cot you’ll find your Luna-ball and that stupid,
worthless Pink Sugar Heart Wand.”  Chibiusa quickly looked down and saw what
M.A. was talking about.  She quickly grabbed her wand while the Luna-ball
hovered over to her.  “Now, do exactly what I tell you to and I promise this’ll
all be over tonight.  One way, or the other.”  M.A. started laughing as the
only door leading into the door suddenly unlocked and swung open.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– Chibiusa and her “friends” left the door and walked out onto a deserted
street.  It was nighttime, and quite a few of the streetlights weren’t
working.  They looked around nervously.  The image suddenly changed, showing
the Suburban Senshi a different location.  First they saw a deserted parking
lot where a few young men dressed in ragged clothes and leather jackets were
loitering around.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Right
now you’re in still in Juuban,” explained M.A., “But this place changes a whole
lot once the sun goes down.  The word on you is out.  The streets are crawling
with gangs trying to cash in on all of you.  Most of them are scum…just like
you!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“F^%#
you, b#^%h!” shouted Chibiusa.  M.A. just laughed a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“These
guys intend to hunt all of you down, kick your asses, and turn you over for the
cash…” said M.A.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
wish I’d been told me about this!” called out Jedite, “I wanna join in!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Me,
too,” added Haruka.  Everyone stared at her.  “Come on!  Just think of what we
could do with all that cash!”  Hotaru sighed and shook her head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You’re
hopeless,” she grumbled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
camera did a slow pan of a pale young girl with curly dark hair and a red and
purple outfit standing near the top of some stairs, then it switched back to
Chibiusa and her crew.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
real people you need to worry about are going to start hunting you before much
longer,” explained M.A., “They’ve labeled themselves the SporeHunters and you’d
better start getting scared right now because they’re serious opposition. 
Those collars you’re all wearing ( close up of the collar Zoicite was wearing )
contain military-grade GPS transponders that I’ve set to transmit for one
second once every twenty minutes.  They’re accurate to within twenty feet.  The
SporeHunters are the only ones with the receiving systems calibrated to those
collars.  You’ve got a fifteen minute head-start, then those collars will make
their first burst transmission…and then the SporeHunters will officially be on
your tails.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
you friggin’ ho, so what’s the hitch?” called out Helios, “Is there any way to
win, you sadistic b#%*h?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cut
the rap, Sir Shits-a-Lot,” retorted M.A., “Of course there’s a way out…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dammit!!!”
cried Jedite, Tomoe, and Artemis.  Minako thwapped Artemis on the back of his
head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Artemis!”
she cried.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What? 
Do you think I actually like that fungus?” retorted Artemis, “Do you remember
some of the things she did to me?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“But
those were all accidents!” said Minako.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Accidents
my fuzzy butt!  She was trying to kill me!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“…There’s a Fed-Ex post office several miles from
where you are.  If you can get there you’ll be home free.  If you try to leave
the designated “hunting preserve” I’ll let you know in no uncertain terms.  If
you actually ignore me and deliberately try to cheat then I’ll activate the
collars for all-frequency continuous mode.  The SporeHunters will know exactly
where you are and you’ll be torn to shreds like a Pokemon plushie-doll against
a riding lawn-mower.  So don’t cheat, okay?”</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Screw
you!” said Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Shut
up!” retorted FishEye, “I’m too pretty to be subjected to this sort of thing. 
Oh!  What did I do to deserve this?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi? 
Kupi-kupi?” offered Nako-Nako.  Nobody knew what the hell she meant so everyone
ignored her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ll
try to direct you as best I can,” explained M.A., “But other than that you’re
on your own.  Remember, in fifteen minutes the SporeHunters will begin chasing
after you.  You’ve got a head start; do not waste it.”  Chibiusa took a step
forward and struck a pose.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hah! 
I’m not afraid!  I am Sailor Chibi-Moon, the future Princess of Crystal Tokyo! 
I’ll kick all their @$$es and then I’ll kick yours, too!  The men’ll want to
become my sex-slaves and you’ll be nothing but furniture in my palace, you
f#%$in’ ugly b%^#h!!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hell
yeah!” added Helios, “I’m gonna track you down, beat yo @$$, and make you
surrender…in many different ways!  Word up!”  M.A. just laughed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
hope the SporeHunters fail to catch you,” she retorted, “I’d love to beat the
everloving crap out of both of you.  Anyway, are you ready?  Camera…action!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Who
the heck is this girl?” asked Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
don’t know but I’m really starting to like her,” said Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
hope we actually get to see that fight!” cried Tomoe, “Muahahahahahahaha!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Chibiusa
and her crew began to walk slowly down the deserted street, nervously eyeing
every shadow.  After a few seconds the scene faded to black.  The words
“Meanwhile…” appeared center screen.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– the outside of the restaurant where Unazuki worked.  Standing near the front
door were Rei Hino and Usagi Tsukino.  Both were wearing their school uniforms,
but Usagi was also wearing a dark leather jacket and carrying a backpack.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mother-mother-f^$#,
mother-mother-f^$%-f^$%,” sang Rei, “Motherf&amp;^#, motherf^%$, noise noise
noise!  One-two!  One two three four!  Noise-noise-noise!  Smokin’ weed,
smokin’ weers, drinkin’ Coke, drinkin’ beers!  Drinkin’ beers, beers, beers! 
Rollin’ fatties, smokin’ blunts!  Who smokes the blunts?  We smoke the blunts! 
Rollin’ blunts, and smoking…”  She stopped singing as Usagi tapped her on the
arm a few times and pointed at two schoolboys that were walking towards them. 
The two boys glanced around nervously.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Are
you the two girls selling that stuff?” asked one of the boys.  Rei smiled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Maybe,”
relied Rei, “What do you need?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We
need two reports on American History, like right now,” said the other boy.  Rei
smiled and knocked on Usagi’s bookbag.  Usagi opened it, revealing a whole
bunch of term papers, notes, and school reports.  All of them were signed by
Ami Muzino : Rei and Usagi were selling Ami’s old school papers on the black
market.  They quickly flipped through the stacks of papers and found the
section on history classes.  “Cool!  How much?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Fifteen
bucks, little man, put that cash, in my hand,” rapped Rei, “If that money
doesn’t show then you owe me, owe me, owe!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“My
jungle love!” sang Usagi.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh-ee-oh-ee-oh!”
sang both girls as they started boogying, “I think I wanna know ya, know ya…!” 
Rei and Usagi high-fived each other.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the heck are you two singing?” asked one of the boys.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
don’t know “Jungle Love”?” asked Rei, “That song is the mad-note, kid!  Written
by Queen Serenity herself and handed down to the greatest band in the world :
the motherf^%$ing Time!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
mean that band that was in that Prince movie?” asked boy #2.  Usagi pointed at
him and nodded.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Purple
Rain,” she said.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
movie was so lame,” commented the boy, “Dumb American 80’s crap!”  Rei and
Usagi glanced at each other, then grabbed the offending kid and threw him up
against the wall.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
you ever say an unkind word about the Time!” shouted Rei, pressing her face in
close, “We model our whole lives around Morris Day and Jerome!  I’m the
smooooooth Shinto pimp-mommy loooooooves the hunkies, and Silent Usa’s my
non-black female manservant!  Word up!”  The camera swiveled slightly as Lead
Crow and Aluminum Siren, dressed in their “mafia outfits”, walked up to the
door of the restaurant.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey! 
Leave those kids alone and get the hell outta here,” snarled Lead Crow while
Aluminum Siren went inside, “And just so you know the Time sucked @$$.”  She
went inside.  The camera swung back around to face Rei and Silent Usa, both of
whom looked pretty pissed off.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
guys wanna hear something messed up about those two?” asked Rei.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– the inside of the restaurant at one of the larger tables where a small group
of people were sitting, finishing up a meal.  All of the other patrons in the
place were giving them a wide berth.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?!”
demanded Haruka, “I wanna know about Crow and Siren!”  Michiru glanced at her,
her eyebrow twitching a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uh,
what for, pray tell?” inquired Michiru, her voice thick with suspicion.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ssshhhh!”
called out Hotaru.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
camera focused in on the first guy.  They could see he was a tall young male
American, Caucasian, with fair skin, coppery hair, and blue-green eyes.  He
wore a close-fitting dark body suit that had reinforced pads on his thighs,
shoulders, and forearms, a heavy Kevlar full-torso armor vest, combat boots, and
had a Kevlar combat helmet with a ballistic visor on the table before him.  The
image froze for a moment : the word “Solarchos” appeared on the screen.  Then
everything went back to normal.  He was drinking the last of a glass of soda
and eating a military MRE.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hmph,”
he commented, “That was really good.  I need to remember this place.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“How
can you eat that stuff?” asked the next person over from him.  The camera
swiveled to show someone rather famous in Tokyo : Seiya Kou, also known as
Sailor Star Fighter.  Seiya was in female form and wearing a dark overcoat,
dark glasses, and a quiet b&amp;$#hy attitude.  The pony-tailed former idol
idly stirred a cup of coffee.  “Besides, how much longer are we going to
wait?”  A balled-up napkin bounced off Seiya’s forehead.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Jeez,
you could b&amp;^%h about anything!” complained a tall young male American
wearing army camouflage clothing.  Various combat knives and a black Desert
Eagle .50 AE pistol were tucked into his belt.  The image froze for a moment as
the caption “Wolfwood” appeared, then everything resumed.  Wolfwood continued
to eat his “dinner” which consisted of a Coors light and an expired bottle of
Kikkoman soy sauce.  “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to finish of my tasty
inebriating beverage and my lightly salted Chinese condiment.”  Seiya shook her
head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
freelancers are so weird,” she grumbled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What’s
a freelancer?” asked the next third guy at the table.  The camera swiveled to
him and froze, the name “Jupiter Knight” appearing on the Sub-Sen’s TV screen. 
Then everything resumed.  Jup.Knight was a tall, sandy-haired Westerner wearing
a rather noble-looking, embroidered uniform, almost like the kind of dress
uniform worn by the British Royal Marines.  Slung behind his back was a
sheathed katana and an even larger two-handed sword.  A matched pair of laser
pistols were holstered on his thighs and a combat pulse-laser rifle laid on the
table.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Freelancers
are like mercenaries,” replied Solarchos, “We generally do all kinds of
odd-ball jobs and dirty deeds for large amounts of cash.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kinda
like your mom at the end of the month when the rent’s due, huh?” retorted
Seiya, smirking a little.  Solarchos and Wolfwood both chucked more balled-up
napkins at her in retaliation. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Didn’t
you used to drive a Ninja?” asked the second girl in the group, addressing
Wolfwood.  “Starcat” was a Korean girl of average height.  She was dressed
exactly like the witch Mimet, with the tight orange stockings, black bra top
and skirt, and orange, curly hair, but unlike Mimet her eyes were dark brown
and her hair was black at the roots.  She wore a pair of long white ceramic
elbow blades and a couple of bulging purses.  “Didn’t you used to have a
money-roll that could make Snoop Dog jealous?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
evolved into something higher,” replied Wolfwood, “Of which things like
motorcycles and money aren’t required.  I think she’d appreciate that.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
presume you’re speaking of Hotaru?” asked Jup.Knight.  Wolfwood nodded.</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Come on, Wolfwood,” said a young male Westerner
with dirty blond hair and dark blue eyes who was wearing a Japanese schoolboy
uniform.  The subsequent freeze-frame identified him as “Adam”.  Adam’s katana
was sheathed behind his back and a long mace-and-chain identical to what Go-Go
used in “Kill Bill” was on the floor by his feet. “You’ve never even met Hotaru
before.  All you’ve done is tap her computer and phone lines, taken
surveillance photos from afar, staked out her house, and basically stalked
her.  How the heck do you know what she wants?”</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“It’s
kinda hard to explain,” replied Wolfwood as he took a swig of soy sauce, “I can
tell what she’s thinking just by looking at her.  It’s like a spiritual
connection.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>At
the Sub-Sen home, Hotaru was sweatdropping big time, her eyebrow twitching
madly.  Behind her Professor Tomoe was laughing maniacally.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Tapped
my…!?” stammered Hotaru, “Took photos of…!?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
Hotaru!” said Minako, cheerfully, “You’ve finally got a fan!  Not nearly as
many as me, but it’s a start.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Quiet,”
hissed Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hotaru
and Wolfwood sitting in a tree…” chanted Jedite, “F-U-C…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Shut
up!!” shouted Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“My
little girl’s growing up so fast!” cried Tomoe, “Soon she’ll be dating, then
kissing boys, then she’ll be starring in her first porno!  Oh, I’m so happy!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“SILENCE!!”
screamed Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Why’s
this guy going after Hotaru, anyway?” asked Michiru, “Hotaru’s just a skinny,
bookworm Goth-queen.  I mean, she’s hardly stalk-worthy…”  Hotaru turned around
to face them, her eyes glowing faintly and the symbol of Saturn glowing on her
forehead.  The Silence Glaive was gripped tightly in her hand.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
next person to say anything shall feel the silence…” she warned.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Eep!”
said everyone.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
gave up a top-of-the-line motorcycle, a big-@SS house in Los Angeles, and major
mercenary contracts just for a dubious spiritual connection?” asked Solarchos
as he pulled on his gloves, “Are you nuts?”  Wolfwood shrugged.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Probably,”
he said.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So
what do you guys do?  Really,” asked Starcat. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Depends
on who you ask,” said Solarchos, “You’ll hear everything from smuggler, gunsmith,
fixer, battlemech designer, and freelance Youma hunter to I’m planning to
overthrow the future world government and I’ve got enough stockpiled military
hardware to personally invade Baghdad.  Wolfwood kinda does the same thing.  He
hunts down and exterminates unnatural creatures that shouldn’t be allowed to
exist.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What? 
Like Pauly Shore and Carrot Top?” asked Adam.  Wolfwood nodded.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yup,
pretty much,” he replied.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So
that’s why we’re here, huh?” asked Seiya, “We’re going hunting?”  Solarchos
nodded and stood up.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Some
friends of mine have organized some games tonight,” he explained, “Something
we’ve all been planning and waiting for for quite some time.  All the
arrangements have been made.  I just wish we could’ve gotten a larger group.” 
Jup.Knight shrugged.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
Yinggirl’s kinda in hiding after that Final Fantasy / Lord of the Rings
crossover she did,” he said, “She sends her regards, though.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Tonight
we’re bringing down some seriously f^%$ed up people once and for all,”
continued Solarchos, “Tonight…the pink-haired sugar-demon and her Horse-boy toy
are going down.”  Everyone became visibly excited.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“It’s
a go?” asked Starcat, “Sporehunt start’s tonight?!”  Solarchos nodded. 
Everyone started high-fiving each other.  Just then Lead Crow and Aluminum
Siren walked into the place.  They quickly spotted Solarchos and the others and
walked over.  Crow’s and Siren’s smiles faltered a little and their eyebrows
twitched as they saw Seiya.  Seiya just flipped them off.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Konichi-wa,
Solarchos-san!” said Siren, “I hope you’re doing well tonight.”  Meanwhile,
Crow smiled and dropped a pair of car-keys on the middle of the table.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“They’re
parked out back and everything’s ready to go,” said Crow, “You sure you don’t
need any additional help?  We’d be happy to help you.”  Solarchos smiled a bit
and shook his head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What’s
out back?” asked Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Our
special-purpose Sporehunting transportation,” replied Solarchos, “I managed to
get a hold of some high grade military vehicles just for this.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
was kinda hoping to do this solo,” said Wolfwood, “You know, cruise around, do
the solo sniper / ghost recon thing…take out Helios with a high-caliber sniper
round to the head and all.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Back
at the Suburban Senshi’s place, Hotaru sighed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
how I wish that could be arranged,” she groaned, “Oh, how I wish that horny
bunghole could meet with a fate like that.  His skull vacated of contents by a
high-powered armor-piercing rifle bullet.  Would that I could see Helios’ head
snap backwards as the back of his head explodes like a miniature volcano
venting a fine red mist interspersed with satisfyingly large chucks of bone. 
Would that I could be there to experience that moment of sudden crystalized
terror to see the long slow fall of his lifeless body, to hear the great thump
of his corpse striking the ground, breaking that awful silence…”  Meanwhile,
everyone was staring at Hotaru with wide eyes.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
Hotaru,” stated Jedite, “Just stop right there because I’ve heard some
messed-up s#!t and you’re starting to scare ME!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ahh,
you’re just not drunk enough,” commented Haruka as she opened her third beer.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Sorry,
this is going to be a group operation,” continued Solarchos, “My friend was
insistent about that.  The bounties will be split six ways so everyone’s going
to come away with some pocket change at the very least.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
don’t care about the money that much,” stated Jup.Knight, “All that matters is
that the Spore goes down!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hell
yeah!” added Adam.  Meanwhile, Siren reached under her coat and pulled out a
bag.  Placing it on the table, she opened it, revealing a pair of GPS receivers
with LCD screens.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We
set them for twenty minute intervals,” she explained, “There’s a countdown
timer in the corner of each display and they’re both loaded with the latest
updated versions of the Tokyo streetmaps.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Accurate
as of this morning and we got them straight from the Tokyo PD’s database, so
they’re pretty accurate,” added Lead Crow, “Barring the usual urban renewal
caused by rampaging EVA’s, out-of-control mechas, earthquakes, alien invasions,
and rioting Puuchuu’s.”  Everyone nodded knowingly.  Solarchos switched on the
GPS units and looked at the areas displayed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
red dots indicate the last known location of the targets,” explained Siren,
“Right now they’re somewhere in downtown Juuban.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cool,
now let’s get out there and clobber that pink spore!” cried Seiya.  Everyone
yelled in agreement, jumped to their feet, grabbed their stuff, and proceeded
to leave.  Just then the two boys who’d been buying black-market school papers
came in.  They saw Crow and Siren and immediately burst out laughing.  Crow
regarded them curiously while Siren reached down, grabbed Jup.Knight’s leftover
beef noodles, and started eating.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
how was the service?” called out one of the boys.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
service?” replied Crow, a little confused.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
what service?” asked Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
one those two had last week at the Unitarian Church where they got married to
each other!” replied the other boy.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“WHAT??!!”
screamed Lead Crow.  Everyone else in the restaurant immediately stopped what
they were doing and stared at Crow and Siren.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Rei
said that the two of them had a Star Wars theme wedding and were dressed up
like Imperial Stormtroopers,” continued boy #1, “And she said she’s the
butch…”  He pointed at Aluminum Siren.  “…and she’s the b!^*h!”  He pointed at
Lead Crow.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!!!”
shrieked Michiru, tears streaming from her eyes as she and everyone else at
home began screaming with laughter.  Beer sprayed from Haruka’s mouth.  Then
she hit the floor, laughing hysterically.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’M
THE B!^*H?!” shouted Lead Crow.  Half the people in the restaurant were already
on the floor laughing their butts off.  The other half were about ready to join
them.  The SporeHunters were barely able to keep straight faces.  Even
Solarchos had sat back down, covering his mouth with both hands, but it was
obvious by the way his shoulders were hitching that he was about to crack up. 
“I’M THE B!^*H?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
if were really were gay and married, that’s kind of how I’d see it happening,”
said Siren as she swallowed some noodles.  Crow gave her a dirty look.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uh-oh,
looks like the honeymoon’s over!” snickered one of the boys.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right, that’s it!!” shouted Crow.  She snatched up Adam’s “Go-Go mace &amp;
chain”.  “You <a href="mailto:b@S%5e@&amp;ds"><span style='color:windowtext;
text-decoration:none'>b@$^@&amp;ds are f^%$ing dead!!”  The two boys ran out of
the restaurant while Solarchos and Adam quickly grabbed Crow, preventing her
from running after them.</span></a></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><a
href="mailto:b@S%5e@&amp;ds"><span style='color:windowtext;text-decoration:
none'>&nbsp;</span></a></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><a
href="mailto:b@S%5e@&amp;ds"><span style='color:windowtext;text-decoration:
none'>Lead Crow was the first to leave the restaurant.  Storming outside, she
looked around, trying to find Rei and Silent Usa, but they were long gone. 
Siren and the SporeHunters came out a second later.</span></a><a
name="_Hlt73072262"></a></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><a
href="mailto:b@S%5e@&amp;ds"><span style='color:windowtext;text-decoration:
none'>“They’re all gassed up and fully loaded,” Siren was saying as she led
Solarchos and the others around the building to the parking lot, “And the care
packages are all ready, too.”</span></a></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><a
href="mailto:b@S%5e@&amp;ds"><span style='color:windowtext;text-decoration:
none'>“Care packages?” asked Starcat, “I hope mine comes with cookies!”</span></a><a
name="_Hlt73072193"></a></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><a
href="mailto:b@S%5e@&amp;ds"><span style='color:windowtext;text-decoration:
none'>“So what…WHAT THE…?!” cried Jup.Knight.</span></a></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><a
href="mailto:b@S%5e@&amp;ds"><span style='color:windowtext;text-decoration:
none'>C-Pov – the camera swung around and centered on a pair of vehicles that
looked like large, heavily-armored jeeps.  The vehicles were obviously
off-roaders, the tires were partially protected by armor plates, and in the
back of each vehicle was a pintle-mounted 15mm heavy machine gun.  The “Special
Ops Squad intro music” from “Resident Evil” began playing in the background.  </span></a></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><a
href="mailto:b@S%5e@&amp;ds"><span style='color:windowtext;text-decoration:
none'>Sitting in the middle of the parking lot were a pair of M12 Warthog light
recon vehicles.  Direct from the PC game “Halo”.  </span></a></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><a
href="mailto:b@S%5e@&amp;ds"><span style='color:windowtext;text-decoration:
none'>&nbsp;</span></a></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><a
href="mailto:b@S%5e@&amp;ds"><span style='color:windowtext;text-decoration:
none'>“Daaaaaammmmnnn!” exclaimed Haruka, “Warthogs!  These guys got all the
cool stuff!”</span></a></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><a
href="mailto:b@S%5e@&amp;ds"><span style='color:windowtext;text-decoration:
none'>“Calm down, Haruka,” urged Minako.</span></a></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'><a
href="mailto:b@S%5e@&amp;ds"><span style='color:windowtext;text-decoration:
none'>“Those things got off-road suspension, ram bars, titanium armor…”  Haruka
started getting a crazed look in her eyes.  “…Machine gun!  Oh, the things I
could do…!</span></a><a name="_Hlt73072197"></a>”  Michiru whipped out a
harisen “whack-wand” and smacked Haruka in the head with it twice.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
enough out of you,” she ordered.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>A
loon-like squeal of delight came from Wolfwood as he dashed towards one of the
Warthogs and jumped into the driver’s seat.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
my god…!” he cried, “It’s so beautiful!”  Adam and Seiya climbed aboard the
Warthog, with Seiya getting into the side seat and Adam taking control of the
machine gun with a loud cackle.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
got the other machine gun!” shouted Jup.Knight as he and Starcat rushed towards
the other Warthog.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
what’s everyone got in the way of equipment?” called out Solarchos as he walked
over to his Warthog and started rummaging around in the back.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
got my Desert Eagle .50-cal and a Beretta 9mm equipped with a silencer and a
laser sight,” called out Wolfwood, “Plus I’ve got five clips for each, three knives,
and three claymore mines.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
got my katana,” stated Jup.Knight, “The Jupiter Sword, two Imperial Guard x-ray
frequency pulse-laser pistols, a Republic-standard x-ray laser rifle, and a
couple extra power cells for the pistols.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
got a hunting knife for close-in work,” announced Seiya, “A Beretta 9mm pistol,
a USP .45 just like Lara Croft used in the movies, and a Desert Eagle .50
Magnum, and some extra clips for all of ‘em.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
got Sakura…”  Adam motioned towards his katana.  “My “Go-Go Migrane-Master”…” 
He pointed at his mace &amp; chain.  “And I’ve got a Glock-17 for back-up.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
got all of you beat,” said Starcat, “I’ve got my Talim crescent blades from
“Soul Calibur 2” and twenty…count ‘em…TWENTY Covenant plasma grenades!  You
know, the kind that latch onto you and don’t let go?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cool!”
called out Jup.Knight, “Looks like you’re the official Sporehunt supplier of
plasma grenades!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So
what are you bringing on the hunt, Solarchos?” asked Wolfwood.  Solarchos
smiled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“For
weapons I’ve got an M870 12-gauge shotgun with laser sights, my Ares Predator
10mm pistol with laser sights, and direct from “Halo” a UNSC MA5B assault rifle
fitted with a collimator sight.  All of my guns are fitted with gas-vent recoil
compensators, the shotgun’s loaded with stun rounds, and the pistol’s loaded
with depleted-uranium armor-piercers.  I’ve also got a can of OC pepper spray,
two combat knives, and three M84 flash-bang grenades.  I’ve got a few other
odds and ends in my equipment harness, too.  For armor I’ve got my Van Saar
hostile environment suit, anti-knife gloves, a Second Chance Hardcorps vest,
and a combat helmet with a ballistic visor.  Oh, and I’ve got six extra clips
for both my pistol and rifle.  For the shotgun I’ve got 56 shells on my
bandoleer and an addition twelve shells in brackets attached to the stock.  I’m
ready to kick names and take ass!”  Everyone stared at him.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Jeez!”
cried Lead Crow, “You’re just going after Chibiusa, not invading Shadow Galactica!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
of a sudden I feel decidedly under-equipped,” commented Starcat.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
all right,” chirped Siren, “That’s what the care packages are for!  The
director thought you all might need some additional help so she threw some
stuff together for you.”  Siren went over to Solarchos and helped him pull out
five duffle bags.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Everyone
take one,” said Solarchos.  The other SporeHunters quickly came over and picked
bags at random.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
about you?” asked Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
worry,” replied Solarchos, “I’m almost over-equipped, so I don’t need any extra
help.”  The camera zoomed in a little as everyone opened the bags and began
examining the contents.  Inside the bags were a mixture of equipment.  All of
the bags contained a military-style equipment harness with plenty of pouches, a
flashlight, a short-range multi-frequency radio with an ear-piece receiver, a
small survival pack, a roll of cufftape, a survival knife that was freshly
sharpened to near “scalpel” level, fifty American dollars for expenses, and one
or two other things.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Jup.Knight
had gotten a light armor vest and an aluminum baseball bat.  Wolfwood had also
gotten some light body armor but instead of a bat he’d gotten a steel-cored
police tonfa.  Starcat had received an aluminum baseball bat and a dart pistol
which fired tranquilizer darts.  Adam cackled maniacally as he found the six
flash-bang grenades that had been tucked into his web belt’s pouches.  Seiya
lucked out : in her bag she found a fully-loaded HK MP5 9mm submachine gun with
four extra clips.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right!” stated Adam, “Can we keep all this stuff?”  Solarchos nodded. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Consider
it a gift from the director of Sporehunt,” he stated.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cool! 
Respect mah authori-tah, Horse-boy!!” shouted Wolfwood as he whipped out his
new tonfa and made a slow practice swing into Jup.Knight’s leg.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh yeah! 
Oh yeah!” hissed Starcat as she aimed her needle pistol, “I’m gonna nail that
pink be-otch right in the @$$!”  She then glanced at her new bat and a deranged
grin slowly spread across her face.  “Heh.  Heh-heh!  Beat on the brat!  Beat
on the brat!  Beat on the brat with a baseball bat!  Oh yeah…!”  Starcat
grabbed the handle with both hands and took a practice swing, laughing evilly
as she imagined it smashing into the side of Chibiusa’s head.  Meanwhile,
Solarchos was hooking up one of the GPS units into his Warthog while Lead Crow
hooked up the other in Wolfwood’s vehicle.  Solarchos finished and turned
around…and facefaulted.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the…?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– The other five SporeHunters and Siren had somehow gotten a hold of a near
life-size Chibiusa doll and were viciously annihilating it, nailing it with
kicks, bats, tonfas, and knives.  Needless to say, the Chibiusa doll didn’t
stand a chance.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Beat
on the brat!  Beat on the brat!  Beat on the brat with a baseball bat!” they
all chanted.  The lyrics, complete with a little bouncing ball to help keep the
beat, appeared at the bottom of the screen.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Back
in the Suburban Senshi’s den, Tomoe and Jedite were happily singing along.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Papa!”
exclaimed Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
can’t help it!” replied Tomoe, “It’s one of those songs that gets inside your
head and doesn’t go away!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
not complaining,” retorted Jedite, “It’s the kind of song I could listen to all
day!”  Artemis had somehow gotten a hold of a Chibiusa plushie doll and was
chewing the hell out of it.  Haruka was grinning viciously, enjoying the
sights.  Michiru, Rei.Bot, and Minako just sweatdropped.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
people are all psychedelic!” exclaimed Minako, “You all need serious help!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay!”
shouted Wolfwood, “Let’s get this Sporehunt started!”  Meanwhile, Solarchos grinned
triumphantly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We’ve
got the first signal!” he announced, “They’re all located in downtown Juuban. 
The Hunt is on!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hoody-hoo!”
shouted everyone.  Solarchos, Starcat, and Jup.Knight boarded one Warthog (
which had a Ryo-ohki plushie tied to the front ram bar ).  Wolfwood, Seiya, and
Adam got into the other Warthog ( which had a Luna plushie tied to the front
).  Ignition keys were turned, and the Warthog’s powerful engines roared to
life.  Adam and Jup.Knight laughed evilly as they took control of the machine
guns.  Starcat pulled a plasma grenade from a pouch while Seiya aimed her new
SMG out the side.  Siren and Crow waved and smiled happily at them all.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Have
fun and be safe!” called out Siren.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nail
the sugar-spore for us all!” yelled Crow, “We’re all counting on you!” 
Solarchos waved back while Wolfwood stomped on the accelerator.  His Warthog
lurched forward and tore out of the parking lot, followed closely by
Solarchos.  Making a sharp, screeching turn that would’ve made Eudial proud,
the SporeHunters sped towards the Juuban district.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene changed, revealing the inside of a darkened room containing dozens of TV
monitors.  One monitor showed the SporeHunters tearing through the streets of
Tokyo towards Juuban.  Another monitor showed Chibiusa and her “crew” walking
slowly down a dark, deserted street.  Someone began laughing in the shadows.  A
female form walked out into the center of the place, silhouetted against the
light from the TV’s, but everyone watching could tell she had long hair and a
shapely figure.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
Sporehunt has officially begun,” she stated, “Kami-sama help them all!”  She
started laughing again.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>M.A.’s
laughter was echoed by the mad laughter of Professor Tomoe, who was practically
going nuts. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
think I’m in love!” exclaimed Tomoe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We
haven’t even seen her yet,” retorted Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We
don’t have to!” replied Tomoe, “Don’t you believe in soul mates?  She’s tall,
she’s twisted, and she looks great in shadows!  She’s perfect! 
Muahahahahahaha!”  Meanwhile, Jedite was examining the DVD box closely.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
are you looking for?” asked Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“A
phone number,” replied Jedite, “Maybe this is like “American Idol” and you can
phone in what you want the SporeHunters to do when they capture someone.  I
wanna see them put one of those flash-bang grenades down Helios’ pants!” 
Michiru sighed in disgust.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
is the most stupid…” she began.  She trailed off when Haruka leapt to her feet
and started looking around the room.  “What are you looking for?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
package the movie came in!” replied Haruka, “Maybe the phone number’s inside
the envelope!”  Hotaru flopped onto her back with a groan.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
M-girl’s right,” she groaned, “Kami-sama help us all.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>It
was the beginning of a long, loud, and demented night.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>End of Part One.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

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=Episode 2=

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<p class=MsoTitle>T &amp; M Productions, in association with Xadium Studios</p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>And the Suburban Senshi Signal Corps</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>Shamelessly Present…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<h1>Suburban Senshi : Sporehunt</h1>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>Episode 2 : Chibiusa Opens the Doorway to Heck!</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Hurry up, Jedite!” shouted Haruka.  A moment later
there came the unmistakable sounds of a toilet flushing.  Jedite sprinted into
the den, nearly tripping over his pants as he zipped them back up.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right, I’m back!” he replied breathlessly, “C’mon, now play it!  Play it!  Play
it!”  Michiru looked at Jedite a little strangely.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uh,
you did remember to wipe, didn’t you?” she asked him.  Jedite glanced at her, then
he started grinding his teeth a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Aaahhh,
dammit!” snapped Jedite.  Tomoe and Artemis both burst out laughing.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Come
on,” urged Minako, “Hurry up and continue!”  Everyone leaned in a little as
Haruka continued the DVD.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– a deserted, dimly lit street.  Chibiusa was happily skipping down the middle
of the street with the Lunaball and Nako-Nako following behind her.  Helios,
FishEye, and Zoicite were moving along the side of a building, trying to stay
in the shadows.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey! 
You stupid brat!” called out Zoicite over their radio, “What are you doing?” 
Chibiusa stopped and looked over at them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
just walking down the street, dumb@$$,” she retorted, “What’s your problem?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You’re
walking out in the middle of the street like nothing’s wrong, that’s my
problem!” replied Zoicite, “We’ve got these damn GPS collars, no magic, and
lots of people hunting us!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah!”
added FishEye, “Are you trying to get us caught?!”  Chibiusa waved them off
dismissively.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
Sailor Chibi-Moon.  Everyone loves me.  All we’ve gotta do is wait until help
arrives.”  Over the radio came the loud sound of muffled laughter from M.A.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh…lemme
put it to you this way, Flamingo-girl,” she advised, “I think you can forget
about anyone else coming to help you.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene changed, showing a busy </span><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Tokyo</span><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'> street.  Standing on the sidewalk, happily strutting
around, were Annapuma and Unapuma from “Dominion Tank Police”.  Both cat-girls
were wearing black sports shorts, b!^*hin’-cool motorcycle jackets, and were
eagerly holding up signs proclaiming “Honk if you hate Chibiusa!” as well as a
picture of Chibiusa’s face.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Not
surprisingly, there was a lot of honking going on.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene changed again, showing a slow aerial flyby of a large billboard.  Questis
Trepe, Tifa Lockhart, Paine, Rikkuo, and Yuna ( from Final Fantasies 7, 9, and
12 ) were nearly finished putting up a huge sign showing Chibiusa lying on her
back in spreading pool of blood, her eyes glassy and vacant, her face slack,
and her chest torn up from multiple gunshots wounds.  The billboard’s caption
boldly proclaimed : “Sporehunt.  This Summer – Pink is Red.”  The FF girls all
waved happily as the camera flew past.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Damn!!”
yelled Tomoe, “Where the heck is all of this going on?!  I wanna go there!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes,
me too!” added Haruka.  Michiru quickly thwapped Haruka upside her head once
again. “Ow!  Hey!  What’d you do that for?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Because
you’ve got “that look” on your face again,” replied Michiru.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene changed once again, showing a well-lit baseball field.  The entire Dark
Moon Clan and the Witches 5 were having a baseball game.  The camera zoomed in
on the pitcher’s mound where Kaorinite was preparing to pitch at Esmeraude, who
was on plate.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Since
when have Esmeraude or Kaorinite ever played any kind of sports?  What’s going
on here?” demanded Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kaorinite
did so play sports,” said Jedite, “She used to play “marathon annoyance” with
you every day, didn’t she?”  Hotaru just grumbled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kaori-kun
also likes volleyball,” added Tomoe, “I love to watch her spike the ball!  I
just LOVE to watch the bounce!  Muahahahahahaha!!”  Artemis leaned over towards
Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
don’t think he’s talking about volleyballs any more, is he?” asked Minako. 
Artemis just shook his head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Kaorinite
made the throw.  The camera zoomed in on the ball…or rather, the Chibiusa
plushie doll that was being used as the ball.  Esmeraude swung the bat, nailing
the Chibi-plushie hard, sending it flying high into the air.   It flew high
into the air…and was promptly torn to shreds as the rest of the DMC and the
Witches 5 pulled out guns and started shooting at it.  The people in the
bleachers went nuts…and there was much rejoicing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HELL
YEAH!!!” screamed Jedite and Tomoe, headbanging energetically.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene changed back to a befuddled Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“How
would you know if anyone’s coming to help me?” she asked into the radio.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh…trust
me,” replied M.A., “I know.”  M.A. tried to hold back more laughter.  “Anyway,
you bozos better start moving faster.  The SporeHunters are now officially on
the move towards you.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?!”
demanded FishEye, “It’s been fifteen minutes already?!  But I’m still such a
mess!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Maybe
if you hadn’t wasted all that time looking in that mirror we found back there
we would’ve covered some more ground!” snapped Helios, “All of you Amazons were
so obsessed with mirrors it’s not even funny!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
of you shut up!” hissed Zoicite as he pointed ahead at an abandoned bus, “I
think I see something moving up ahead.”  Everyone stopped moving and stared
ahead.  A gentle wind rustled through some of the trash on the street, but
nothing else was happening.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
thought you said you saw something moving?” asked Chibiusa.  Zoicite blinked at
her, confused.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh,
isn’t that what you’re supposed to say in situations like this?” he asked.  A
moment later Zoicite was knocked onto his butt as Chibiusa flung the Lunaball
at him, nailing him squarely in the face.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YEAH!!”
shouted Jedite, “Kick his @$$!” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Is
Zoicite really that dumb?” asked Hotaru.  Jedite nodded.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“As
dumb as Gourry from “Slayers”,” he replied.  Everyone cringed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oooo! 
That’s bad,” commented Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Chibiusa
and her “friends” ( and we use the term very loosely ) continued walking
towards the bus.  It was parked diagonally across the road, forcing them to
walk around it.  Nako-Nako paused to look down at something…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“POW!!!”
shouted Haruka, “Direct hit through the head from a sniper!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh,
there aren’t any snipers in this,” replied Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dammit!”
snapped Haruka, “I wanna see some head shots!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
don’t want to see any head shots,” said Michiru, “I want to see them all get
blown to pieces by a laser-guided bomb!”  Jedite burst out laughing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ll
corrupt you, yet!” he commented.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
called out Nako-Nako, “Kupi-kupi?”   The others came over to see what she’d
found.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“A
plastic bag from Wal-Mart?” demanded Zoicite, “This Pokemon-reject’s wasting
our time over a plastic bag?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Actually,”
replied M.A., “That’s a weapon.  One of many you’ll need to get through this
night alive.”  FishEye picked it up.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“A
plastic bag?  How the heck are we supposed to use this as a weapon?” he asked.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
figure it out quick,” replied M.A., “Because you’re going to have to start
fighting soon.  Further down the street you’ll see a staircase going down
between tow buildings towards a basketball court.  Go there.”  Chibiusa and her
gang ( let’s just call them the Spores ) carefully walked further down the
street.  It didn’t take long to find the place M.A. was talking about.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
staircase was directly ahead.  Standing near the top of it was a single young
lady with curly dark hair wearing a skirted red and purple outfit.  She was
looking down the stairs at the basketball court below.  The girl crossed her
arms and began tapping her foot a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
just don’t understand why I have to stand here and do nothing,” she mumbled to
herself.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right, spore-child.  Listen up,” advised M.A.  The Spores stopped and listened
intently, eager to hear what was up.  “You see that girl standing there?” 
Everyone nodded.  “Nail her!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Helios
rushed forward at the girl, followed closely by Chibiusa.  Chibiusa was
dribbling the Lunaball as she ran.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Lunaball
kitty magic!” she shouted.  With one last smack she bounced the Lunaball into
the air.  There was a puff of pink smoke as Chibiusa conjured something.  She
held out her hand to catch the weapon she’d created…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>…an
inflatable Sailor Pluto blow-up doll.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the f#%$…?!!” she shouted.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
FYI and all, I reprogrammed the Lunaball so whenever you use that conjure power
it summons something completely at random,” stated M.A., “Just so you know!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” 
With the exception of Rei.Bot all of the Suburban Senshi were once again
rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Helios
leapt at the girl, wrapping her head up in the shopping bag.  The girl
immediately began struggling, driving her elbow straight into Helios’ crotch. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah!”
shouted Hotaru, “Hit him!  Hit him!  Beat the crap outta him, girl!”  Even
Rei.Bot had a huge grin on her face.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Tossing
aside the Sailor Pluto blow-up doll, Chibiusa grabbed the Lunaball, rushed
forward, and kicked the girl right in the shin.  The girl stumbled, dropped to
her knees, and put herself in the perfect position for Chibiusa to rush around
behind her and keep pulling the bag tight with one hand while she used the
other to repeatedly smash the girl in the head with her Pink Sugar wand.  A few
seconds later the girl flopped to the ground, twitched a few times, and became
still.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Nako-nako
cautiously walked over and pulled the bag off the girl’s head, revealing a
pretty, pale face, deep brown eyes that were wide open, and a dainty little
mouth from which a lot of blood was trickling.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Isn’t
that Hyatt from “Excel Saga”?” asked Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
think it is,” replied Minako, “Chibiusa killed her!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
b@$^@&amp;ds!!” shouted Haruka.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Killed
by a pink-haired brat with a plastic bag and a stupid wand,” said Jedite,
“Hyatt probably died of embarrassment.”  Tomoe burst out laughing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Neo-Queen
Serenity’s little girl’s all grown up!” he cried, “Soon she’ll be hunting down
boys and killing them, too!  If I were her father I’d be so proud! 
Muahahahahahaha!”  Hotaru just sweatdropped.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>FishEye
felt for a pulse on Hyatt, but couldn’t find any.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
sweet Nehelenia, I think she’s really dead!” he exclaimed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
mean she’s really dead?” replied Helios, “This sucks!  Now we’re murderers on
top of everything else!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
retorted Nako-nako, cocking her head to the side a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
what’s with this “we” stuff?” added Zoicite, “We were over here the whole
time.  Blame the stupid little brat over there.”  He pointed at Chibiusa who
was busy dancing around.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
yeah!  Oh yeah!” she chanted as she hopped around, “Give it up for the little
pink-haired person over here!  The slay-ah walks the earth!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nicely
done,” stated M.A. over the radio, “I’ll tell you the truth.  I set Hyatt up to
see if you bozos had what it takes to be my star actors.  A little audition, if
you will.  Now, get to the basketball court.  You’d better hurry, the
SporeHunters are getting closer.”  Helios and FishEye quickly picked up Hyatt’s
body and tossed her into the nearest dumpster.  They failed to notice her
twitch some more as they closed the lid and rushed down the stairs.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wait! 
No!” shouted Tomoe, “They’re forgetting the Sailor Pluto blow-up doll!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Bet
I know what you want for your birthday,” remarked Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
encourage him,” said Hotaru.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>MEANWHILE…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched to a Tokyo street, showing the two SporeHunter Warthogs driving
along.  Minako suddenly straightened up a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
that’s Solarchos driving one of those jeep-thingies!” she exclaimed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uh,
yeah,” replied Jedite, “That’s already been previously established.  What?  Is
your brain so affected by the bleaching that you’re only now figuring that
out?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’d
recommend a prefrontal lobotomy to correct that,” offered Tomoe,
“Muahahahahaha!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No!”
shouted Minako, “It’s just that I finally remembered something.  Solarchos is
the guy who was ragging on be about being way too genki-genki on the website. 
He was the one accusing me of being an imposter.  That’s him!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Too
bad he’s not hunting you down alongside the spore,” said Jedite, “I’d pay real
money to see that happen.”  Minako quickly reached down the front of her shirt,
whipped out a harisen “whack-wand” just like Michiru’s, and smacked Jedite
upside the head several times.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Solarchos
glanced down at a roadmap.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Turn
left at the next intersection,” he announced over the radio, “At this rate
we’ll be there in less than five minutes.”  The camera switched over to the
other Warthog, showing Wolfwood, Seiya, and Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cool,”
replied Wolfwood.  Seiya smiled wickedly as she checked over her new MP5.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
still don’t understand why they call it a Warthog,” said Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Because
M12 LRV is too much of a mouthful, dude,” replied Wolfwood as he turned the
steering wheel and continued following Solarchos and the others.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
but why “warthog”?” continued Adam, “I mean, it doesn’t really look like a pig
or anything.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Say
that again?” asked Seiya, frowning.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
think these things look more like pumas then anything else,” said Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the hell’s a puma?” asked Seiya.  Wolfwood gave Seiya a weird
“whatchootalkin’bout” look.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uh,
a puma,” explained Adam, “They’re big cats like tigers.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You’re
making that up,” replied Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
telling you those are real animals!” replied Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Look…” 
Seiya pointed at the ram bars at the front of the vehicle.  “See those two
vertical bars?  They look like tusks.  What kind of animal has tusks?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“A
walrus,” replied Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!”
countered Seiya, “Stop making up animals.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Look,
unless anyone has any more creatures,” began Wolfwood, “Mythical or otherwise
to suggest as a name for a new vehicle, we’re gonna keep calling it a
“Warthog”.  How about it, Adam?”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Fine
by me,” replied Adam, shrugging.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Are
you sure?” retorted Seiya, “How about Bigfoot?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
okay,” said Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Unicorn?”
asked Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No,
really, that’s fine,” said Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Sasquatch?”
offered Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Leprechan?”
offered M.A. over the radio, listening in on everyone’s conversation, “How
about a Bunyip?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
M.  Knock it off,” replied Adam, “She doesn’t need any help!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Phoenix!”
offered Seiya.  Adam just sighed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
Seiya,” asked Wolfwood, “What’s the name of that Mexican critter that eats all
the goats?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
would be el chupacabra,” replied Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
it.  Hey, Adam,” persisted Wolfwood, “El chupacabra, how about that?  I like
it!  It’s got a ring to it.”  Adam just shook his head and gave up.  Meanwhile,
they turned at an intersection onto another street.   Wolfwood suddenly looked
at something on the sidewalk.  “What the…?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-pov
– the camera spun around to show none other than the Space Pirate Ryoko in her
famous black and green dress standing on the sidewalk.  Grinning happily, Ryoko
was holding up a large sign which stated “SUPPORT OUR SPOREHUNTERS”.  Chibiusa
and Helios plushies were hanging from nooses attached to the sign.  She waved
at them as they drove past.  Jup.Knight waved back.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
yeah,” he commented, “This is so going to rock.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Attention
all SporeHunters,” announced Solarchos, “Ready your weapons and prepare for
hostile contacts.  We’re almost there.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
yeah!” shouted Starcat as she gripped the plasma grenade in her hand tightly,
“The pink b!^*h is gonna BURN!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Fire! 
Fire!  Fire!” screamed Tomoe, as he pulled out a cigarette lighter and flicked
it on.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We
don’t need Chibiusa, let her burn, yo, burn , yo!” chanted Haruka, “We don’t
need Chibiusa, let her BURN!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Burn
the spore!  Burn the spore!” added Jedite, “We will cleanse the earth with
fire!”  Michiru, Minako, and Hotaru just stared at them strangely.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
people are really starting to scare me,” said Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
mean they didn’t scare you before?” retorted Hotaru, “Where have you been all this
time?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– a dark alley near the fenced-in basketball court.  A little kid wearing a
bright orange snowsuit with the hood pulled up around his face was walking down
the alley towards an empty dumpster.  Suddenly, as he walked past the dumpster,
Chibiusa jumped out of the shadows and grabbed the kid around the neck.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hmmpph!!”
he shouted, his voice muffled by his hood.  He didn’t have time to say anything
else before Chibiusa began smacking his head into a brick wall.  Nako-Nako
dashed over, bent down, and stabbed the kid in the guts with her horn ( which
wasn’t that sharp to begin with, but would hurt to get poked by it ).  Whipping
out a long shard of broken glass, Chibiusa grabbed the kid around the neck,
yanked him down, and began stabbing him over and over again in the torso.  The
kid’s muffled screams began to sound more like gurgles as Chibiusa stabbed him
over a dozen times.  She then smacked him up against the wall, grabbed the
hood, and stabbed him a few more times in the face.  Chibiusa then let him fall
to the ground, the camera zooming in on her blood-spattered face and the mad
gleam in her eyes.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Holy
crap!” exclaimed Michiru, “I think that’s Kenny from South Park!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
my god!” screamed Artemis, “She killed Kenny!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
b@$tards!” shouted Minako.  Hotaru rushed to the kitchen sink and threw up,
repulsed by the violence.  Jedite frowned at her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
know, for the Senshi of Destruction you sure can’t handle the sight of blood
too well,” he commented.  In between heaves Hotaru flipped him off.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
yeah!  Who’s your mommy now, you punk@$$ moron!!” shouted Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Damn!”
commented Zoicite as he, Helios, and FishEye came out of hiding, “You really
messed that kid up.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ll
say,” commented M over the radio, “Just so you know, he wasn’t a gang member.” 
Everyone suddenly facefaulted.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?!”
shouted Helios, “Are you saying…!?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yup,”
replied M, “That kid was NOT part of Sporehunt.  Congrats, Chibiusa.  Now
you’ve graduated to manslaughter on an innocent minor!  You’re moving up in the
world!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“F#%$
you, b!^*h!!” screamed Chibiusa, “You did that on purpose!”  Suddenly, a
ragged-looking Japanese man rushed down the alley.  In the poor light they
could just see the tattoos on his arm.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
that guy IS part of Sporehunt,” announced M.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
began Nako-Nako.  She didn’t get much of a chance to say anything else as the
ganger-dude kicked her hard as he charged at them, punting Nako back down the
alley like a football.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YES!!!”
shouted Haruka, Tomoe, Jedite, and Michiru.  They all began high-fiving each
other.  Minako sobbed a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Poor
Nako-Nako,” she moaned, “This is so cruel.  M should feel ashamed of herself.” 
Hotaru and Artemis glanced at each other and rolled their eyes.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Pink
Sugar…Hearrrrrrrrrrt…Atta ( WHAP! )…owww…”  Chibiusa was sent sprawling as the
ganger-dude closed the distance, rushed over to her, and punched her squarely
in the face right in the middle of her magical attack.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YES! 
YES!  YES!” shrieked Jedite and Haruka at the top of their lungs.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Muahahahahahahahaha!!!”
yelled Tomoe, laughing insanely.  Disturbingly enough, Michiru was laughing
with him.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
know Chibiusa’s my friend and all,” commented Hotaru, “But there’s something
about that scene which fills me with a deep sense of satisfaction.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
just want to see that Yakuza guy take that wand and shove it up her butt,” said
Artemis, “That’s all I’m asking for.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey! 
Nobody does that to one of my hoes!!” shouted Helios.  He charged at the
ganger-dude, who immediately grabbed the lid off an aluminum trash can and
threw it like a frisbee at Helios.  Helios blocked it with his arms, but
accidentally tripped over Chibiusa, who was lying on the ground staring up at
all the pretty stars floating around.  Sprawling out of control, Helios went
straight into the ganger-dude and they both fell to the ground.  Zoicite and
FishEye immediately rushed over and began beating the crap out of him.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– overhead shot of Zoicite and FishEye punching, kicking, whacking, and
pummeling the heck out of him.  At one point FishEye grabbed a nearby trashcan,
emptied it on top of him, and proceeded to start bludgeoning him with it.  A
few seconds later a very messed-up Helios managed to pull himself out of the
beating he was taking.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HEY!!!”
he screamed, “I’M ON YOUR SIDE, REMEMBER??!!”   Zoicite and FishEye slowed down
after a few more seconds and stopped.  The ganger-dude was totally out of
commission.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oops!”
replied Zoicite, “Sorry!  We didn’t realize you were there.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,”
added FishEye, “You got between us and the Yakuza-dude!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
right!” retorted Helios, “You did that on purpose!”  Zoicite and FishEye looked
astounded. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
shocked you’d think of us like that!” replied Zoicite, “That hurts.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Like
hell,” snapped Helios as he tried to brush the trash and crud off his clothes, “This
coming from the guy who deliberately murdered one of his own allies and tried
to cover it up.”  Zoicite got flustered.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
was Nephrite and he’s not dead, dammit!” he shouted, “He faked his own death
just so he could start making out with that jailbait wench Naru!”  Meanwhile,
Nako-Nako was staggering down the alley towards them with a huge shoeprint on
her face and Chibiusa was starting to get back up.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Pink
Sugar Heaaarrrrrrrt…Attack!”  Helios, Zoicite, and FishEye all stared at her in
surprise as she aimed the attack straight at them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the…?!” shouted FishEye.  All three of them were smacked into the wall by the
barrage of pink energy.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
stupid f^$%tards!!” she screamed, “You let that @$$hole Yakuza hit me on
purpose!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No
we didn’t!!” cried Zoicite.  Chibiusa quickly rushed over and kicked all three
of them in the shins.  All three of them began hopping up and down, wincing in
from the pain in their shins.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You’d
better start doing a better job of watching out for me,” warned Chibiusa, “Or I
just might NOT have sex with you!”  FishEye and Zoicite immediately
facefaulted.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh,
you are NOT my type, kid,” stated Zoicite, “Let’s just get that straight right
now.”  FishEye’s response was far more direct : he grabbed the trashcan and
threw up into it.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>At
the Sub-Sen home, Jedite was nodded enthusiastically as he watched FishEye
vomit.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yup,
I know exactly how he feels,” he commented, “In fact, I kinda feel that way
every time that pink fungus even looks at me.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
don’t!” added Tomoe, “Muahahahahahaha!”  Hotaru sighed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Papa,
you’re starting to make ME feel sick!  Chibiusa’s like nine years old.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No
she’s not,” argued Tomoe, “She keeps going on about how she’s over nine
hundred.  It’s okay!  She’s legal!”  Hotaru just shuddered.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Meanwhile,
the Spores continued to walk around the circumference of the basketball court
to an open gate.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Stop
right there,” ordered M, “Now, you see that gate?  Go through it into the
basketball court.”  Everyone glanced at each other, shrugged, and walked
through.  The moment the last person walked through the gate slid shut, locking
them inside.  Another gate on the other side of the court slid open.  “All
right!  Now, this is what I like to call a set-up.  The five of you need to
beat the guy who’s coming to face you in order to continue.  I wanna see some
gratuitous violence and bloodshed.  I wanna see some of the old
ultra-violence!  This guy must DIE!”  From the shadows beyond the gate came a
disturbingly cheerful humming.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Who
is it?” asked Helios.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
last person you’d want to have to deal with on a night like this,” replied M,
“And you’d better hurry.  The SporeHunters will be here any minute!”  Chibiusa
took a few steps forward.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
all right!” she yelled, “I’m not afraid.  I’m Chibiusa, the future ruler of
this crappy planet and on behalf of the Moon, I’ll punish you on behalf of
ME!!”  With that said, she posed, spun around, bent over, and showed off her
butt in a cute display…right at the camera.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Jedite
rushed into the kitchen and threw up into the sink.  Tomoe was laughing
hysterically.  Haruka and Michiru were both cringing on the couch.  Minako and
Rei.Bot were both facefaulting.  Hotaru and Artemis just stared at the TV
screen, their heads tilting slightly. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Enough! 
Enough!” shouted Haruka, “This is supposed to be entertainment, not a damn
horror flick!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“OH
GOD, SHE WAS WAVING HER BUTT AT ME!!!” screamed Jedite, “My eyes are burning!” 
Hotaru smirked a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
and you were saying something about me not being able to handle a little
violence, huh?” she commented.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“This
isn’t violence!” shouted Jedite, “This is just SICK!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah! 
Yeah!” called out Tomoe, holding up some yen bills, “That’s it, girl!  Shake
that moneymaker!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Something
moved in the shadows, coming towards the light of the basketball court.  The
Spores moved apart slightly, preparing for the fight.  Then their opponent
walked into the light…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
Spores all sweatdropped big time.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Heeeeeyyyy,
kids!” called out the fuzzy, man-sized, purple dinosaur, his voice cheerful and
happy, “How’s it going?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Michiru
and Haruka grabbed onto each other for dear life.  Artemis screamed in terror
and dove underneath the couch.  Hotaru recoiled in horror.  Even Tomoe’s
trademark red grin suddenly turned into a huge frown of fear as he recognized
the purple creature.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh…Kami-sama…it
can’t be!” gasped Jedite.  Rei.Bot tilted her head slightly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“This
is just too much…” she intoned, “Barney the sh!t-o-saurus…now we know true
fear!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>FishEye
screamed like a little girl as he recognized what they were now facing.  He
spun around and ran face-first into one of the lampposts, knocking himself to
the ground in a daze.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“It’s
Barney the dinosaur!” shrieked Helios, “Oh this is just f%$#ed up!”  Chibiusa’s
jaw dropped in surprise.  Zoicite didn’t look too impressed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hmph,
I’ve seen scarier youmas on PGSM,” he commented, “Zoi!!”  Zoicite whipped out
his arm, conjuring up a huge cloud of flower petals, which swirled around
Barney…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>…and
did absolutely nothing.  Zoicite blinked in surprise.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the f^%# was that supposed to do?!” screamed Chibiusa, “And people say MY
attacks are useless!”  Barney hopped a few times, clapping his hands.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
boy!  That was fun!  Are you here to play with me?”  The Spores all shook their
heads vigorously.  “Oh, sure you are!  We’re going to have so much fun!”  With
a sickening laugh, Barney charged at them and the fight was on.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Ironically,
the music that began playing was “The Burly Brawl” from the “Matrix :
Reloaded”.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Barney
rushed at Chibiusa, punching at her with his soft, fuzzy hands.  Helios,
FishEye, and Helios came at him from all sides and started dog-piling him,
punching him like crazy.  Unfortunately, the only effect that seemed to have on
the purple fiend was a strange squeaking sound that came from him every time he
got punched.  Barney spun around, nailing Helios squarely in the crotch with
his tail.  Helios made a high-pitched yelp that sounded like a squeak and slid
to the ground.  Barney followed up with a kick that sent Horse-boy flying
backwards into the fence.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Chibiusa
watched as Zoicite punched Barney in the face.  Barney flipped backwards,
slammed into FishEye ( knocking him off his feet ) and bounced back,
head-butting Zoicite in the head.  The DK general fell to the ground.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Shimata! 
That really hurt!” shouted Zoicite.  Chibiusa frowned, grabbed the Lunaball,
and sighed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the hell,” she said.  She started dribbling it.  “Lunaball kitty magic!”  She
bounced the Lunaball high into the air.  Nako-Nako was also in the air as
Barney slam-dunked her like a Michael Jordan.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Poof! 
The object the Lunaball conjured up landed in Chibiusa’s hands.  She stared at
it, sweatdropping and frowning big time.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the f^#&amp; is this?!” she shouted, “A plastic cucumber?!  What the hell am I
supposed to do with this?!”  Over the radio they could all hear M.A’s
hysterical laughter.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Muahahahahahahahahaha…!!!”
screamed Tomoe.  Even Hotaru was having a hard time keeping a straight face.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“M’s
got a very perverted sense of humor,” commented Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the hell IS that?” asked Artemis.  Minako perked up a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh! 
I know what that is,” she stated, “That’s one of those ecchi dodo things, isn’t
it?”  Jedite smirked a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
how would YOU know what one of those things is?” he asked, “Personal
experience?”  Minako’s face immediately turned bright red.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“She’s
got one just like it in the back of her underwear drawer!” added Tomoe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“How
would you know?” asked Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Same
way I know about you and Michiru and the Cool Whip!” replied Tomoe, “I see
ALL!”  Minako and Michiru both whacked him simultaneously.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>FishEye
charged at Barney, but Barney leapt into the air.  The scene froze for a moment
and the camera rotated to the side, keeping Barney in the center of his “Matrix
Kick”, then time resumed and FishEye was knocked back into the fence by
Barney’s kick.  Barney landed back on the ground, turned to face Zoicite and
Helios, and assumed a karate stance, holding out his arm and moving his fingers
slightly.  Come on, he silently challenged them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Just
then Chibiusa’s plastic…”cucumber”…smacked him in the head.  He turned to face
the new threat.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Pink
Sugar Hearrrrrrrrrrt…Attack!”  The pink energy wave smacked into Barney,
nailing him squarely in the crotch.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ow!”
yelped Barney, “Hey!  That is not fun!  I’m going to have to teach you how to
play nice.  Come here!”  Barney started to shuffle towards her.  Chibiusa tried
to run, but Barney grabbed her and lifted her off the ground.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ahhh! 
What are you…?!”  Suddenly, Chibiusa felt a sharp smack in her butt as Barney
began to spank her.  “Ahhhhhhhh!!!  Help!  Perverted dinosaur!  Somebody help
me!”  Helios, FishEye, Zoicite, and Nako-Nako glanced at each other.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“If
we leave her behind the rest of us might be able to escape,” said Zoicite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
could go for that,” replied FishEye, “Acceptable losses.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
even think about it,” warned M.A. over the radio, “Nobody gets outta there
without killing Barney.”  Zoicite and FishEye both frowned.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dammit,”
they all hissed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi,”
grumbled Nako-Nako, who looked equally displeased.  They all charged at Barney,
nearly knocking him over as they tackled him.  It didn’t work too well.  Barney
punched Zoicite, knocking him backwards again.  Then he kicked Chibiusa,
sending her sprawling.  Then a tail-bash sent Nako-Nako flying into the fence. 
Then Barney began to smack and pummel Helios and FishEye into the ground. 
Somewhere along the way Barney somehow got a hold of a long steel bar and
proceeded to smack everyone around like Keanu Reeves.  All seemed lost.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Suddenly,
a blue-glowing spherical object roughly the size of a lemon landed on the back
of Barney’s shoulder and stuck there like it was glued.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the…?” said Barney as he tried to grab it, “Is this for me?”  FishEye and
Helios took the opportunity to quickly scramble away.  Barney couldn’t pull the
thing off, and three seconds later the Covenant plasma grenade exploded in a
huge wave of heat and blue light.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dammit!”
snapped Starcat, “I missed Helios!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!”
shouted Wolfwood, “Horse-boy is MINE!”  The rest of the SporeHunters were
dashing down the stairs towards the basketball court.  All of them were
cackling evilly as they whipped out their weapons and rushed towards the
fence.  Meanwhile, Barney, who’d been blown across the basketball court, was
getting back to his feet, flailing around like a chimpanzee covered in
fire-ants.  He was completely engulfed in flames.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“AAAHHHHHHHHH!!! 
Help!  Kids!  This sucks!” he screamed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
f^%#!!” shrieked Chibiusa, “It’s the SporeHunters!  They’re here!”  Meanwhile,
the SporeHunters were rushing up to the fence and began aiming through the gaps
in the chain-links.  Solarchos and Jup.Knight were looking back and forth,
first at the Spores, then at Barney, who was still freaking out and burning.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhhh,”
began Adam, “Who should we take out first?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
dunno,” replied Seiya, “Who’s worth more?”  Everyone glanced at each other,
then at Solarchos.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the hell,” he stated.  All six of the SporeHunters took aim and started
blasting away at Barney.  Starcat threw another plasma grenade at him, the
azure-glowing device attaching firmly to the base of his tail.  Seiya laughed
maniacally as she began firing her new gun on full auto.  Wolfwood switched to
his Desert Eagle and began pumping rounds into Barney.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
run!!  Don’t run!!” he shrieked, “Pigs!  Pigs!  All of you pigs!  
Bwahahahahahahaha!!!”  He was joined by Adam and Jup.Knight as they started
laughing, too.  The plasma grenade detonated, sending Barney shrieking over
twenty feet into the air.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
one to grow on!!” screamed Jup.Knight.  Suddenly, the gate that was previously
closed slid open.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> “Okay,”
announced M.A., “I’m going to officially classify that Barney is EXTREMELY
dead.  Get the heck outta there while the SporeHunters are still distracted!” 
Chibiusa ran screaming out the gate, followed closely by her Lunaball, Helios,
FishEye, and Zoicite.  Nako-Nako followed last, pausing at the gate to turn
around and flip her tail at the SporeHunters in a cute display, winking.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Nako-Nako
flinched as bullets and laser blasts began to shoot past her and explode against
the ground and wall near her.  A scintillating orange dot of light appeared on
her chest and an instant later a shotgun blast rang out.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ku-piiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!”
she shrieked as a 12-gauge stun shell stuck her, smacking the little critter
several meters backwards into the dark alley behind her.  One of the Spores
quickly snatched her up and continued running for their lives.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Direct
hit!” said Solarchos, lowering his shotgun.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nice
shot, old friend,” commented M.A. over the radio, “A few of my other friends
would be rather impressed.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right, we got Barney, too!” yelled Adam.  He, Seiya, and Starcat all began
high-fiving each other.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Killin’
the ‘saur!  Killin’ the ‘saur!” they chanted.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
but everyone else is getting away!” retorted Wolfwood, “We’ve gotta go after
them.”  Jup.Knight pulled out his main sword.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
can be arranged,” he growled as he hefted the long-bladed sword and slashed
through the fence in one swing, “All right!  Let’s go get ‘em!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hold
on,” cautioned Solarchos, “Everyone get back to the Warthogs.  I know the area
where that alley leads to.  We’ll circle around and ambush them there.” 
Everyone grinned evilly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cool,”
said Seiya, “I like ambushes!”  The SporeHunters turned and quickly dashed back
up the stairs, passing by Hyatt as she pulled herself along the ground like an
inchworm.  Getting back into the Warthogs, they drove off down the dark Tokyo
streets.  The scene faded to black and new message appeared : PLEASE INSERT
DISC 2.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Those
b@$tards!” screamed Minako, ”Especially that Solarchos!  He hurt Nako-Nako! 
How dare he do that!  And Barney ( sniff )!  They killed Barney!  He should be
held up as a loveable, caring nurturer of children’s values.  He didn’t deserve
a fate like that!  I swear if I ever run into those SporeHunters on the street
I’m gonna get Kenieval on their @$$es!!” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No,
what should be done to Barney is this,” retorted Jedite, “He should be hung
from a tree, gutted, shot, burned, dismembered, and run over by one of those
Warthogs.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
so put a sock in it!” added Tomoe.  He then leaned over, grabbed Minako’s
harisen, and whacked her in the head with it.  “Muahahahahahahaha!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
was brutal!” said Hotaru, looking even paler than usual, “But them blowing up
Barney totally rocked!  Killin’ the ‘saur!  Killin’ the ‘saur!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Haruka?”
said Artemis.  Haruka looked down at him.  Artemis was trembling slightly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
what?” she asked.  Artemis stared up at her, his fur standing up all over his
body.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Put
on disc two!” he cried, “Put on disc two!  For the love of Belldandy, PUT ON
DISC TWO!!!”  Michiru jabbed Haruka in the side.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
are you waiting for?!” she demanded, “Put on the second disc!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HELL
YEAH!!” shouted Haruka as she dove for the DVD player.  She couldn’t change out
the discs fast enough.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>End of Part Two</span></p>

</div>

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=Episode 3=

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<title>T &amp; M Productions, in association with Xadium Studeos</title>

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<p class=MsoTitle>T &amp; M Productions, in association with Xadium Studios</p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>And the Suburban Senshi Signal Corps</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>Shamelessly Presents…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>Suburban Senshi : Sporehunt</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>Episode 3 : Pink Trash</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Usual
legal stuff : The following story and its sequels are works of pure parody and
fiction and do not represent actual views, attitudes, and feelings.  Except in
regard to Chibiusa Tsukino who needs to be summarily executed.  Just about all
of the characters portrayed in this are pretty much the property of someone
else.  They know who they are.  I’m not stealing them; I’m just borrowing them
for a little bit.  Imitation and imagination are the sincerest forms of
flattery.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Inside
the home of the Suburban Senshi, the scene was one of frantic activity.  Haruka
slammed the front door behind her as she rushed into the house carrying
shopping bags filled with snacks and munchies.  There was a loud thump and a
muffled cry as the door slammed shut…right in Michiru’s face.  Hotaru quickly
dashed over and opened it again, revealing a pissed-off Michiru carrying
several bags of take-out from McDonalds in both hands and a red lump on her
forehead.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Haruka!”
cried Michiru, “You bunghole!”  Hotaru sighed as she let her in while Haruka
was busy emptying the bags near the TV.  A moment later Artemis dashed into the
room after using the litterbox, Tomoe and Minako rushed back from the bathroom,
Jedite took the phone off the hook, and everyone settled in on the couch as
Rei.Bot inserted Disc 2 of Sporehunt.  Tomoe burst out into laughter as Haruka
pressed “play”.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>            The room became
completely silent as the DVD began running.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>THE FOLLOWING PREVIEW HAS BEEN APPROVED BY T &amp; M
PRODUCTIONS…</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“In
the name of Metallia, please don’t let it be the meatball-head again!” begged
Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Dramatic
music began playing.  The scene showed the Moon Princess and Prince Endymion
standing on a balcony.  Then hordes of </span><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Dark</span><span
 style='font-size:12.0pt'> </span><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Kingdom</span><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'> soldiers began swarming towards the </span><span
  style='font-size:12.0pt'>Moon</span><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> </span><span
  style='font-size:12.0pt'>Kingdom</span><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“In
an age of darkness…” said the announcer.  A sad Queen Serenity looked down at
the crescent moon wand.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“My god
have mercy on your souls,” she stated.  The next scene showed Rei performing a
fire reading, wind blowing through her hair.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Something’s
wrong!” she called out, “Something’s amiss!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
a time of evil…” said the announcer.  The scene switched to show Chibiusa’s
smiling face.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
shall die!!” she screamed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“When
the world needed a hero…” said the announcer.  The scene showed several
different images of Tuxedo Kamen, the Moonlight Night, and Heero from “Gundam
Wing”.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Alarmed
Sailor Mercury : “They’ll swallow our souls!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Panicking
Iron Mouse : “I ain’t about to die!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
it got…” said the announcer again as pictures of the various Senshi flashed
by.  Then it showed a close-up picture of Umino…in the dress and makeup that
Naru made him wear way back in the first season.  “…was him.” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Umino
: “Groovy.”  Heavy metal guitar music began playing.  The next scene showed
Umino in class leaning in towards Usagi.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Umino
: “You know, your shoelace is untied.”  The next scene showed Umino flipping up
Miss Haruna’s skirt.  A moment later there was a loud whack as Umino was sent
flying backwards.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“He’s
a 20<sup>th</sup> Century guy…” said the announcer.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Angry
Miss Haruna : “For that arrogance…”  Umino screamed silently in terror.  “…I
shall see you dead.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Trapped…”
said the announcer.  A moment later there was a loud *blang* and the scene
showed Miss Haruna hitting the ground, fast asleep and snoring.  “…in the
Middle Ages.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Tuxedo
Umino : “All right, you primitive screwheads.  Listen up!  This…”  Close-up of
one of those mallets with the squeaky plastic accordion heads.  “…is my
BOOMSTICK!  Now…”  Umino talking to an embarrassed-looking Naru.  “…let’s talk
about how I get back home.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Announcer
: “Foretold by a mystical book…”  The scene showed Usagi flipping through Rei’s
manga collection.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Studious-looking
Ami : “Within its pages are passages that can send you back to your time.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Announcer
: “Forewarned by a wise man…”  The scene showed Rei praying in front of the
Sacred Flame.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Rei
: “You must recite the words “klaatu verata nicktuu”.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Exasperated
Umino : “I got it!  I got it!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Announcer
: “Fulfilled…”  Umino gets up on stage in the dress and makeup and starts
posing.  “…by a wise guy.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Extreme
close-up of Umino’s face : “Klaatu…verata…ni-hoo-hoo-hoo!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Pissed-off
Rei : “When you misspoke the words…!”  The next few scenes showed youmas
appearing, the Bon-Bon Baddies unfolding, and several people turning into
phages.  “…the army of the dead awoke!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Announcer
: “Now he’s got a date…”  The scene showed Umino and Naru standing close to
each other.</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Umino : “Gimme some sugar, baby!”  The next scene
showed the monster of the day attacking.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Panicking
Naru : “Help me!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Alarmed
Tuxedo Umino : “Sheila!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Announcer
: “…with the Army of Darkness!”  The scene showed a horde of Pokemon charging
at the camera.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Nephrite-possessed
Naru : “You found me beautiful once.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Umino
: “Honey…you got real ugly.”  With a scream, Possessed-Naru attacks.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Announcer
: “Sound the trumpets…”  Usagi whistles, but there’s the sound of trumpets
blowing.  “Raise the drawbridge…”  Sailor Jupiter throws an attack that blows a
set of doors apart.  “Drop…the Oldsmobile.”  Eudial panics as her car flies off
the road and falls into the ocean.  “From Sam Raimi…”  Close-up of Gendo Ikari
from “Evangelion” The next picture showed Mamoru getting thrown against the
side of that boat in the R movie.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Cringing
Umino : “Ooooo!  That’s gotta hurt!” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Announcer
: “…director of Darkman…comes…”  A picture of the shadowy, smiling face of
Professor Tomoe.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Announcer
: “Army of Darkness!  They live…”  Various scenes of the Senshi trying to fight
the monsters of the day…and getting tossed around.  “They breathe…”  Picture of
the Esmeraude-dragon breathing fire.  The final scene showed various Daimons
sucking the heart-crystals out of various bystanders.  “They SUCK!”  The last
scene showed the usual movie credits for “Sailor Moon : Army of Darkness”. 
Coming soon to a theater near you…maybe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
hell…?!” cried Michiru.  Tomoe burst out laughing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
Pokemon ARE the Army of Darkness!” he shouted, “This proves it!  Gotta kill
them all!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
it,” stated Jedite, pointing at the TV screen, “I want the T&amp;M catalog,
dammit!  I wanna be a subscriber!” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“At
least it wasn’t another brain-twisting intellectual statement from Usagi,”
commented Hotaru, “By the way, I’m definitely making a donation to the Odango
Scholarship Fund.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Because
Usagi’s mind is a terrible thing to develop without help,” said Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No,
because Usagi’s mind is a terrible thing, PERIOD!” added Haruka.  Meanwhile,
the screen went dark for a couple of seconds.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>AND
NOW, CONTINUING WITH OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HELL
YEAH!” shouted Tomoe, Jedite, Hotaru, and Haruka.  High-fives were made all
around.  The scene showed a poorly-lit construction area where a bunch of guys
were hanging around, acting rowdy, drinking lots of alcohol and getting
seriously drunk.  All of them were white American males, some of them were
wearing what looked like hockey masks, none of them had any hair and none of
them looked too bright.  The rowdiness died down as someone else wandered up to
their little gathering.  A couple of the Americans staggered to their feet and
approached the new person.  The camera spun around a little, revealing that the
new person was, in fact, a tiger-striped Velociraptor.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
hell…?!” yelled Hotaru, “What is this?!  Jurassic Park?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Awww!”
cried Minako, smiling, “Look at the cute dinosaur!  That thing looks way cuter
than Barney…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>WHAP! 
One of the Americans tried to punch the Velociraptor, but missed as the Raptor
jumped in the air, spun around, and laid a roundhouse kick to the guy that sent
him flying back over ten feet.  The Raptor then leapt into the air and landed
right on top of the offending guy.  It then grabbed the human by the throat,
picked him up off the ground, then pressed its snout right into his face and
bared inch-long fangs.  The camera panned down to show the large wet patch that
was spreading inside the American’s jeans.  The Raptor dropped him to the
ground and stepped away. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
were saying something about that thing being cute?” retorted Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“At
least it’s not as sickeningly disgusting as Barney,” said Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
bet that guy always wets himself perfectly,” commented Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
dumb@$$es,” yelled the Raptor, speaking in a voice that sounded a lot like
Cheech Marin ( complete with Mexican accent ), “The nice lady that’s paying you
all wants to see some mucho carnage.  Try not to disappoint her.  You know who
you’re supposed to find.  Now go out and find them!”  The humans all tried to
cheer ( a little; a few of them threw up instead ) and began to slowly walk
away.  The Raptor watched them go and shook his head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Man,
where does she get these guys from?” he sighed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Those
guys are, like, so dead,” said Artemis.  Jedite and Rei.Bot nodded.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the hell are white supremacists from the southern United States doing in
Japan?!” demanded Michiru, “Why on earth would they want to come here?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Sporehunting’s
an equal opportunity pastime!” replied Tomoe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
one guy was projectile vomiting for five seconds!” stated Hotaru, “How much
stuff were they drinking?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Too
much,” replied Haruka, “They shouldn’t drink and hunt spores.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
still trying to wrap my brain around the concept of a Velociraptor that speaks
with the voice of Cheech Marin,” said Minako, “That’s just so…off!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene changed, showing the Spores hiding out in a darkened park.  FishEye was
looking around nervously while everyone else was gathered around a very
bedraggled-looking Nako-Nako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nako-Nako!”
exclaimed Minako, happily, “She’s all right!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dammit!”
snapped Jedite, “She’s still alive.  Dammit!  Dammit!  Dammit!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi…”
moaned Nako-Nako, cringing from the pain, “Kupi ku-piii…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
of course it hurts, you idiot,” stated M.A over the radio, “You got shot with a
12-gauge soft-rubber slug-shell.  It’s supposed to hurt like an M-F’er! 
Getting hit with a regular solid slug would hurt a lot less but that would kill
you.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
don’t you worry, my little hottie,” stated Helios, “I’ll carry you ‘til we can
hit the sack, baby!”  Nako-Nako looked at him, and shuddered.  Zoicite gagged.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Jeez,
you really do suck,” he commented, “I think you need serious treatment to cure
yourself of this delusion that you’re a rap star.”  Helios spun around to face
him.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey! 
F&amp;$% you!” he shouted, “At least I didn’t get my ass kicked by Barney the
purple dinosaur back there!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
are you talking about?” demanded FishEye, “We ALL got our @$$es kicked by
Barney!  Talk about pathetic…!”  Suddenly, a short, shrill beep came from their
collars.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
collars just transmitted,” said M.A., “The SporeHunters have your position
again…and they’re not going to give up any time soon.”  Chibiusa grumbled and
grabbed the Lunaball again.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Lunaball
kitty magic!” she cried as she dribbled the thing.  There came another puff of
pink smoke, and she held up her hands to receive…  “A box of powdered donuts?! 
What the hell?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cool!”
shouted Zoicite.  He snatched the box and quickly began eating a few.  Helios,
FishEye, and Nako-Nako ( who perked up immediately ) jumped in and grabbed one
or two for themselves.  “Finally!  You actually conjured up something useful!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“For
once,” commented Michiru.  Haruka nodded.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Spore-child’s
usually nothing more than a liability most of the time,” added Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
want donuts!” called out Tomoe, “And that Sailor Pluto blow-up doll! 
Muahahahahahahaha!”  Hotaru sweatdropped.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Again
with the blow-up doll…” she grumbled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Chibiusa
fiddled with the Lunaball, pressing the button on the nose and flipping open a
lid in the back.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the f#%^ are you doing?!” demanded Zoicite, “We don’t have time for that!” 
Nako-Nako moaned loudly in the background.  “Oh, shut up!” Zoicite snapped at
Nako-Nako, “Nobody cares!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
trying to see if I can fix this dumb thing,” replied Chibiusa as she continued
to fiddle around with the Lunaball’s internal workings.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Warning,”
announced the Lunaball, speaking with a British female voice, “System error. 
Primary programming altered.  Initiating level-one diagnostic of core systems…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We
really don’t have time for this…” moaned Helios as he scanned the park
nervously.  Somewhere in the distance there was the sound of screeching tires.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“If
I can get this stupid thing working right, we can use its automatic defense
system to help us out of this mess,” explained Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“…U-S-D-A
selected…” stated the Lunaball.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
thing has a defense system?” asked FishEye.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“…F-D-I-C
approved…” continued the Lunaball.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Of
course!” replied Chibiusa, “After I came back from my first trip to the past
there were a lot of people in Crystal Tokyo who were always after me.  At first
I thought they were fans and admirers but instead they wanted to beat me up! 
More and more of them kept showing up so mommy and daddy installed a defense
system into this thing to protect me.  My daddy loves me so much!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Hotaru
gulped uncomfortably.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“If
she starts going on about how she wants to scronk her dad I’m going to get sick
right here,” she commented.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“But
you’re her friend,” retorted Minako, “I thought you two always saw cheek to
cheek on everything.”  Hotaru’s eyebrow twitched a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
“eye to eye”,” she corrected, “And, sorry, but I will never lust after my own
father.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
not what Mistress Nine said!” said Tomoe.  Hotaru grabbed a handful of potato
chips and threw them at her father’s face.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“…level
one diagnostic complete…S-O-B…” stated the Lunaball, “Virus detected.  Running
MS-Windows 3000 antivirus program.  Estimated time to completion: 28 hours, 5
minutes.  Day-see, Day-see, give me your answer do…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Say
WHAT?!!” shouted Zoicite and FishEye.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wow,”
commented Helios, “Even in the future, Microsoft still sucks.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
know, I might be inclined to help you out,” said M.A. over the radio, “I’ll
uplink to the Lunaball, eliminate the virus, and restore most of its functions to
you, but…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“But…?”
replied everyone else.  They all looked apprehensive to say the least.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“She
demands the blood sacrifice of Chibiusa?” asked Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ll
go for that!” said Michiru, “Hell, I’ll hold her down for them if they let me.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No,
she demands that they fire up the grill and barbecue that little sh!t
Nako-Nako!” called out Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yum!”
cried Tomoe.  Minako turned around to face them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
shocked!” she retorted, “How could you say something like that about her?  How
could you be so cruel?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
do you want from us?!” cried Jedite and Tomoe simultaneously, “We’re evil! 
EVIL!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Something
new has come up,” explained M.A., “You have an objective to accomplish.  Some
of my friends captured someone and they convinced me to have her join your group
as a new member.  Your job is to find and release her.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?”
demanded Chibiusa, “Screw you!  Our job was to get outta here, not run your
stupid errands!”  Suddenly, the Lunaball popped up into the air, a siren and
flashing red lights began blaring, a lid flipped open, and the barrel of some
kind of weapon popped out.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ex-terminate! 
Ex-terminate!” it warbled loudly.  Zoicite dove for cover in some bushes,
FishEye ran like hell for the nearest tree, Nako-Nako jumped inside a trash
bin, and Helios grabbed Chibiusa and slapped his hand over her mouth.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right!  All right!  We’ll do it!” he screamed at the top of his lungs.  The
Lunaball immediately became quiet and retracted its weapons.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
knew you’d see it my way,” replied M.A.  The Lunaball suddenly jerked, fell to
the ground, and started rolling around.  “There.  I’ve cancelled the virus
program and restored most of its functions to your command.”  Chibiusa quickly
grabbed it.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Lunaball
kitty magic!” she yelled as she dribbled it, “Make me a f#%$ing gun!”  The
Lunaball bounced high in the air, poofed into a large pink cloud, and into
Chibiusa’s hands fell…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>…another
blow-up doll…of Sailor Venus.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!!!”
screamed everyone at the Suburban Senshi homestead as they all hit the floor once
again, laughing hysterically.  Except for Minako who was making a
record-breaking facefault.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the…?!!” she stammered, “How the…?!!  What?!!  What?!!  That’s a…?!?  Who…??!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right!” shouted Jedite, “Life-sized, too!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Keep
that thing away from Dr. Xadium!” called out Haruka, “He’ll go nuts!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!! 
I’m gonna kill that M.A.!!!” screamed Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Again??!!”
screamed Chibiusa, “I thought you said you’d return control of the Lunaball to
me!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
said I’d return MOST of its functions to you,” retorted M.A, giggling, “Not ALL
of them.  That screwed-up conjuring program’s now a permanent feature.  Look on
the bright side.  You’d be a big hit at parties conjuring up all sorts of
freaky things!  That might actually raise your popularity a little!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
never going to happen!” called out Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Screw
you, you lying b@$tard!” shouted Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So
where’s this new person for our team?” asked FishEye, trying to change the
subject.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Go
across the park in the direction of the Tokyo Tower,” explained M.A, “You’ll
eventually come across a big construction area.  Go in there.  Your new
friend’s currently locked up in a shed.  Be warned, though.  You’re soon going
to be facing tougher opponents as well as a few more SporeHunters.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Tougher
opponents?” remarked Helios, “So far we’ve faced one Yakuza, a girl, a little
kid in an orange snowsuit, and Barney the buttf&amp;%#er.  So far, there hasn’t
been much opposition.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Opposition?!”
snapped Zoicite, “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten the ones with the automatic
weapons and grenades that are tracking these GPS collars!!”  Helios winked and
smiled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
I haven’t forgotten about them,” he stated, “I’m not worried about them at
all.  In fact…”  He reached over and pulled Chibiusa over to his side.  “We’ve
got a plan in the works.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
do?” asked FishEye and Zoicite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We
do?” asked Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“They
do?” asked everyone back at the Suburban Senshi’s den.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah
right,” retorted Haruka, “Horse-boy doesn’t have crap.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Actually,
the only crap he’s got is what’ll be all over the inside of his pants when the
SporeHunters catch him,” said Hotaru, “Oh, how I want to see an extreme
close-up of that!  Along with an instant replay.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
Spores moved through the dark park, creeping from shadow to shadow.  Nako-Nako
rummaged around inside another trash can and pulled out an empty sake bottle. 
Zoicite quickly snatched it.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Gimme
that!” he snapped, “Maybe there’s some left!”  He upended the bottle into his
mouth.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
are you doing?” demanded Helios.  Zoicite frowned.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Crap,”
he replied, “There’s nothing left.  Right now I am seriously in the need of a
hard drink.  I’d even take some of Nephrite’s lemonade.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dumb@$$,”
retorted Chibiusa, “Lemonade’s not alcoholic.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Not
Nephrite’s,” corrected Zoicite, “He uses vodka, not water.”  Just then a
Japanese male carrying a sheathed katana and wearing a dark suit and a Kato
mask came around a large bush.  Since the Spores were lurking in the shadow he
didn’t see them until he was almost right on top of them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Whoa!”
called out Jedite, “It’s one of the Crazy 88’s from “Kill Bill”!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right!” replied Haruka, “That means we’re gonna see some seriously excessive
violence soon!  Right on!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Not
to mention blood squirting like geysers,” remarked Hotaru.  Haruka tossed a
potato chip at her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey! 
Don’t spoil it for us!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The Crazy 88 suddenly stopped and jumped a little as
he suddenly caught sight of the Spores.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the…?!” he yelped.  He suddenly started screaming like a schoolgirl as Zoicite
threw the sake bottle into his face.  As the Crazy 88 stood there, screaming
shrilly and clutching his face, he dropped the katana.  With a deranged
battlecry, Helios grabbed the katana off the ground, whipped it out of its
scabbard, posed for a moment ( while the Crazy 88 kept on standing there,
flailing his arms a little and screaming ), then stabbed him through the chest.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– a short distance away from the Spores and the lone Crazy 88.  Helios stabbed
the 88 through the chest.  P-TOMPH!!!  The whole area turned red.  The image
cleared after a second, revealing the entire area was now gleaming wetly in the
dim light, the Crazy 88’s lower body toppled to the ground, the upper half of
his body was just GONE, and the Spores were standing still with
bizarrely-perplexed expressions on their faces.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HELL
YEAH!!!” shouted Jedite, Tomoe, and Haruka, headbanging.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the f^%$ just happened?!” shrieked Chibiusa, “That f^%$er just EXPLODED!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
I did was stab him…!” exclaimed Helios.  FishEye let out a distressed cry.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
my goddess!  My hair’s a mess!” he screamed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dude,
he EXPLODED!!” shouted Zoicite, “What the hell kinda psycho explodes when you
stab them!  This is messed up!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
I did was stab him…!” repeated Helios.  Nako-Nako didn’t have anything to say. 
She was too busy throwing up in the bushes.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“This
is what you get for f^#%ing around with Yakuzas!” called out Tomoe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yuck,”
intoned Rei.Bot.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Warning,
contents under pressure,” said Artemis, “Do not puncture.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Those
Crazy 88’s need to wear warning labels or something,” added Minako, “I mean,
really, that’s just gross!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
Spores kept quickly moving through the park.  They soon reached a small koi
pond with a bridge crossing over it.  Standing on the bridge was a tall woman
with long dark hair wearing a long black cape, boots, and what looked like a
leather string bikini.  She turned slightly and the camera zoomed in…first on
her face, then on her enormous, well-shaped cleavage.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Holy
crap!” cried Michiru, “It’s Naga the White Serpent!  What’s she doing in
this?!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“She’s
beautiful!!” shouted Tomoe, “Shwing!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wow,”
commented Haruka, “She’s tall, she can cast spells, and she’s got huge…!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Tracks
of land?” offered Jedite, noticing the malicious expression that was currently
on Michiru’s face.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes! 
Exactly!” stated Haruka, also noticing Michiru’s expression.  Hotaru crossed
her fingers and closed her eyes.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Please
don’t make her laugh…” she pleaded, “Please don’t make her laugh…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
chirped Nako-Nako as she looked over at Naga.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
yeah, baby!” said Helios, “Look at that @$$!  Mmmm, what I wouldn’t give to get
a slice of that magical pie she’s got going on!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!”
retorted Chibiusa, “You’re MY b!^*h and don’t you forget it!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hmph,”
grumbled Zoicite, looking unimpressed, “She looks like a total slut.  I fail to
see what’s so special about her.”  Suddenly, Naga looked over in their
direction and squinted a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Who’s
that skulking around in the shadows?!” she demanded as she took a few steps
towards them, “No one can hide from Naga the White Serpent! I…”  She trailed
off as she noticed a small, globular object emerge from some bushes not too far
away from her.  The object hovered for a moment, then began floating slowly
away from her.  “Huh?  What the heck is that thing?”  Naga began walking slowly
towards the floating ball.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Chibiusa
grinned evilly as she worked the remote control of the Lunaball.  The dim light
gleamed off the blood-speckled blade of the katana.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Come
on, you top-heavy bimbo,” she whispered, “Go for it…go for it…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
Lunaball stopped and hovered in mid-air.  Naga ( being Naga, of course ) walked
over towards it.  The Lunaball rotated around to face her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the heck is this thing?” asked Naga as she stepped up to the floating Lunaball,
squinting in the poor light, “It looks like some stupid Pokemon rip-off toy…” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– a close-up of the Lunaball as a small light began blinking on the nose.  Naga
leaned in a little closer.  PWAFF!!!  Brilliant white light filled the area as
the “eyes” lit up like strobes.  A moment later a color photo of Naga’s surprised
face slid out of the “mouth” of the Lunaball.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“OOOwwwwww!!!”
screamed Naga, clapping her hands over her eyes, “OOOwwwwww!  My eyes!  My
beautiful, perfect, desirable eyes!”  Naga staggered back a few steps…right
towards Chibiusa as she leapt out of the shadows.  Clutching the katana with
both hands, she charged at her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hai-keeebaaaa…!!!”
screamed Chibiusa.  Naga spun around.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hah! 
Who dares try to sneak…” began Naga.  Then Chibiusa stabbed her in the thigh. 
“OOOWWWW!!!  What the…??!!”  Chibiusa struck again.  “AAAAAGGGHH!!  They
stabbed by butt!  They stabbed by BUTT!!  I…!!”  By now, Naga had fallen to her
knees.  Grabbing her by the hair, Chibiusa yanked upwards, then started hacking
away at Naga’s neck…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“OH
MY GODDESS!!!” shrieked Minako.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nnnnoooooooo!!”
wailed Tomoe, tears streaming from his eyes, “Naga-kun!!  Oh, how I wanted to
share some tasty coffee and play Twister with you!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Just
clone her or something,” offered Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We
don’t know where all this is happening!” cried Tomoe, “Oh cruel fate…!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Three
whacks later, Chibiusa began laughing insanely as she held aloft Naga’s head
while her decapitated body flopped to the ground.  The expression on Naga’s
face was priceless.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
beautiful!” cried M.A. over the radio, “That’s perfect!  You’re warming up our
viewing audience nicely.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Artemis
dashed off to the litterbox to throw up.  Everyone else was cringing in their
seats.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
cold,” commented Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Lina
Inverse is gonna be pissed!” said Minako.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
the only thing Naga really had going for her were her boobs,” said Michiru,
“So, it’s not like she’s much worse off than before.”  Haruka got up and went
over to the kitchen.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Where
are you going?” asked Hotaru.  Haruka began opening all of the drawers.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
hiding all of the sharp kitchen utensils,” she replied as she began piling
silverware on the counter, “If the psycho-spore actually comes back home I
don’t want her getting any funny ideas.”  Jedite and Hotaru immediately rushed
over to help.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene changed, showing the darkened control room where M.A. was coordinating
everything.  Standing near the TV screens, observing everything, were none
other than Lina Inverse and Amelia from “Slayers”.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
my goddess!  They killed Naga!” cried Amelia, aghast at the brutality of what
they’d just witnessed.  At the same time Lina, looking bored, opened up a bag
of crab-flavored potato chips. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
yeah,” replied Lina, eating some chips, “What a freakin’ tragedy.  You want
some of these?”  Amelia clenched her fists and her face started turning red.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
we just witnessed was murder most foul!” she shouted, “The heavens cry out! 
The earth cries out!  The people cry out…FOR…!”  Suddenly, Amelia was jerked
off frame and the sounds of someone getting the crap beaten out of them could
be heard.  Lina just kept watching the TV’s.  A moment later Amelia’s
unconscious body was thrown against the wall, stuck there for a few seconds,
and slowly slid down while Ryoko ( from “Tenchi Muyo” ) walked up to Lina and
started watching TV with her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Chips?”
offered Lina.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
mind if I do,” replied Ryoko, “Beating the sh!t out of prissy little bimbos
gives me an appetite!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Zoicite
grabbed Naga’s knife, Helios took Naga’s belt, and Chibiusa kept Naga’s severed
head ( complete with “bonked” expression ) as a trophy.  The Spores quickly
walked over the bridge and disappeared into the shadowy bushes beyond.  Parting
some branches, Chibiusa and Helios smiled as they saw a young Japanese male
wearing ragged clothing standing near a small fountain.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right,” whispered Chibiusa, “Our next victim.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
think you’re enjoying this a little too much, kid,” remarked FishEye.  He felt
a tug on his leg and looked down.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
chirped Nako-Nako as she held up something.  It was another plastic shopping
bag.  She offered it to FishEye.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hmph,”
he grumbled as he took it, “Well, it’s better than nothing, I guess.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
so how are we going to get this guy?” asked Zoicite.  Chibiusa smiled and
grabbed Naga’s head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
know…” she hissed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>There
was a faint whistling sound, then a loud thump as something hit the grass.  The
sound made the Jap-ganger jump a little and he spun around to check it out.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the…?” he yelped.  He grabbed his aluminum baseball bat and peered into the dim
light.  Lying on the grass a few feet away from him was the severed head of
Naga.  “Ugh!  What kinda sicko would chop off the head of a good-looking girl
like that?!  That’s messed up!”  Suddenly, a plastic bag was dropped over his
head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>FishEye
grunted loudly as he tightened the bag as much as he could, holding on as the
ganger started struggling.  The ganger grabbed his bat with both hands and
swung up…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>WHAP! 
WHAP!  WHAP!  FishEye let go and staggered backwards from the solid whack he’d
taken to his face.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“ITAI!!!”
he screamed, “Aaaahhhh!  My face!  My beautiful face…!”  FishEye looked up just
in time to see the ganger swing the bat right into his chest, sending him
flying backwards into the fountain.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“FishEye,
you suck!” called out Chibiusa.  Helios jumped out of the bushes.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HEY,
YOU!!” he shouted.  The ganger turned towards him as Helios threw something at
him.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kuuuuuu-piiiiiiiii…!” 
THUNK!  The ganger stiffened, dropped the bat, and crumpled to the ground…with
Nako-Nako’s horn lodged deep in his forehead.  Nako-Nako struggled to pull
herself free, but her horn was stuck.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!!!”
screamed everyone back at the Sub-Sen home.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
THAT was original,” commented Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Death
by Kupi,” added Tomoe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Noooooooo!”
wailed Minako, “Nako-Nako’s the mascot of the goddess of love and beauty!  Now
she’s been used as an instrument of death!  How dare they defecate her like
that!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Desecrate,”
corrected Rei.Bot.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No,
defecate is an appropriate term,” said Jedite, “Especially for that little
sh!t.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
not sure what’s worse,” said Haruka, “Death by Chibi or death by Kupi?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
just want to see Helios DEAD!” snarled Hotaru, “That’s all I’m hoping for!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Grabbing
Nako-Nako by the legs, Zoicite and Helios yanked her out of the ganger’s head. 
FishEye picked up the aluminum baseball bat as he held his ribs.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
that hurt,” he whimpered, “This is all so brutal!  I need a bubble bath…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Quit
yer whining,” snapped Chibiusa as she washed the blade of her katana in the
fountain.  “Hey, M.A, which way do we go next?”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Go
down the path on the opposite side of the fountain,” replied M.A. over the
radio, “You’ll see a gate in a chainlink fence.  Go through it.”  They began
walking around the fountain…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>BLAM!! 
Helios yelped as a puff of wind blow through his hair.  He reached up to find a
tuft of his hair was now gone.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the…??!!” shouted Zoicite.  Another gunshot rang out, causing part of the park
bench next to FishEye to explode.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kuuuppiiiiii!!!”
shrieked Nako-Nako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“It’s
the SporeHunters!” screamed Chibiusa, “They’ve found us again!”  FishEye immediately
began screaming like a schoolgirl.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Scream
all you want!” shouted Michiru, “You’re miles away from anyone that can hear
you!  Ohohohohohohoho…!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“C’mon,
Solarchos!  Shoot that little sh!t Nako-Nako again!” cried Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kill
the Spore!  Kill the Spore!” chanted Tomoe, Jedite, and Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kill
the Horse!  Make him bleed!  His death is all I really need!” chanted Hotaru,
“Muahahahahahahaha…!”  Tomoe smiled at her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“She
makes me so proud!” he declared.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“RUN!!!”
screamed Zoicite as another shotgun blast rang out, disintegrating a part of
the fountain.  In the distance they could see two figures on an open field
walking towards them.  One of them was dressed in dark clothing that made him
blend into the poorly-lit area quite nicely.  The other was a girl in flowing
robes and long red hair.  Both of them were carrying rifles…LOADED rifles.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Use
Nako-Nako again!” urged FishEye, “Go long!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No
way!” replied Helios, “They’re too far and I’m way too close to those guns! 
I’m outta here!”  Helios turned and started running down the path.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wait
for me!” shouted Chibiusa.  Zoicite and FishEye glanced at each other, then
grabbed Nako-Nako and started running after the others.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– the inside of M.A. TV control room.  M.A reached over to a control panel and flicked
a switch.  Lina and Ryoko were sitting in some chairs off to the side, enjoying
everything.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
Solarchos, old friend…” began M.A.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched to show Solarchos and the other SporeHunters in a downtown Tokyo
strip-mall.  They had just parked the Warthogs and were in the process of
getting out.  Solarchos stopped.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What’s
up, M?” he asked.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
late-comers are in position and are driving the Spores towards the ambush
site,” said M.A., “They’re doing surprisingly well against the other hunters. 
I don’t think the guys in the construction yard will last very long.  Naga
certainly didn’t.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
well, acceptable losses,” commented Starcat.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Bet
Lina was heartbroken to hear that,” added Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We
need at least ten minutes to set up the ambush,” said Solarchos, “We got
delayed ‘cause we drove through the filming of an episode of PGSM and almost
ran over the youma.  Can your forces delay the Spores that long?”  M.A. thought
for a moment.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Possibly,”
she replied, “The Skinz aren’t very reliable, but at least they’re
predictable.  If worse comes to worse I’ll tell Talon to do what he can to pin
them down for a few minutes.  Is that good enough?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Perfect,”
said Solarchos.  He turned to the other SporeHunters.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So
what are we doing here at an all-night mini-mall?” asked Seiya, “Are you and M
celebrating your anniversary or something?”  Solarchos shook his head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nope,”
he answered, “We’re here to grab a few things for the ambush.  Adam and
Jup.Knight – you two stay with the Warthogs…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cool!”
replied Jup.Knight, “That means I can practice using the chaingun!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Starcat,”
continued Solarchos, “I need you to go into that triple-X rated store over
there…”  The camera swerved to show the entrance of an ecchi-hentai store.  “We
need a male inflatable blow-up doll.”  Starcat facefaulted.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Say
what?!” she retorted, “Look, I get the impression M’s a little…weird, but she
should do her own shopping and leave me out of it!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Starcat…please,”
replied Solarchos, “Trust me.  It’s all part of the plan.  Seiya, I need you to
get a hold of a tuxedo, a cape, a cane, and a top hat.  And one of those
old-style plain costume ball masks if you can find one.  Wolfwood, go try and
find a bouquet of roses.”  Wolfwood slowly began smiling.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
think I know where this is all heading,” he stated, “What are you going to be
doing?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
got the most important job of all,” said Solarchos, “Snack run!  I’ve got a
craving for peppered beef jerky and a six-pack of A&amp;W root beer.  Who else
wants something?  My treat!” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
want cookies!” called out Starcat. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched to a closed gate in a chainlink fence.  The gate was unlocked
and Helios effortlessly pushed it open.  Chibiusa was right behind him,
“urging” him onwards with the katana hovering dangerously close to his butt. 
FishEye, Nako-Nako, and FishEye were looking around nervously, trying to find
where the two SporeHunters pursuing them had gone.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Good,”
commented M.A., “You made it.  Okay, here’s the situation.”  The scene
switched, showing several of the bald, mask-wearing Westerners wandering around
throughout the construction site.  “The people you’re now facing are a gang
from the United States called the Skinz.  They’re your near-stereotypical white
supremacist skinheads; almost none of them have any kind of real social skills,
and most of them work in minimum wage jobs…if they work at all.  Of course,
it’s not THEIR fault most of them dropped out of high school.  It’s always
someone else’s fault…usually the first person they come across who’s not a
“pure-blooded white male Anglo-Saxon Protestant whatever”.”  M.A. started
snickering.  “Oh boy, are they going to like you guys – two girly yaoi-boys, an
Eminem-wannabe with a horn coming outta his head, a pink-haired sugar demon,
and a Pokemon reject!  They’re just gonna love you guys!”  M.A. then burst out
into laughter.  The Spores just sweatdropped.  “Anyway, your new member is
currently tied up in a shed near the middle of the construction site.  The
shed’s got a big blue X painted on the door, so you’ll know it when you see it. 
What are you waiting for?  Get moving!  The SporeHunters are hot on your
tails!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– straight up as the Spores huddled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
do we do now?” asked FishEye, “These Skinz-people sound really mean.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
you THINK?” demanded Helios.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Let’s
try to jump the SporeHunters,” suggested Zoicite, “If we can bring down one or
two of them, we can get their guns and make all of this a whole lot easier…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Everyone
at the Suburban Senshi home burst out into snickers.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Good
luck with that!” giggled Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Go
for it,” added Hotaru, “I want to see that Adam guy nail Helios in the balls
with that “Go-Go mace”!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
wanna see Solarchos use Nako-Nako as target practice again!” exclaimed Tomoe,
“That was so cool!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Plasma
grenades for everybody!” proclaimed Jedite, “Especially one down Horse-boy’s
pants!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Fight
the SporeHunters?!” demanded Helios, “Are you on crack, man?  They’d kick our
@$$es, then they’d blow it up like they did with Barney!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“He’s
right,” agreed FishEye, “Those plasma grenades would be murder on my hair and
mascara.  Chibiusa, what do…?”  FishEye looked around.  So did the camera. 
Chibiusa was nowhere to be seen.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
asked Nako-Nako.  All of a sudden they heard lots of screaming coming from
nearby.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Nako-Nako,
Helios, Zoicite, and FishEye rushed down an alley, turned right, and found
themselves in a courtyard between several partially-constructed buildings. 
They got there just in time to see Chibiusa swing the katana right into the leg
of a hugely-muscled guy wearing a t-shirt and a hockey mask.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hai-keeba!!”
shrieked Chibiusa as she hacked a large, deep cut into the guys’ leg.  The
Skin-ner immediately dropped the club he was holding and grabbed his leg.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Aaaahhhh! 
The foul ones strike at the righteous!” he shouted, “O Lord, your servant…!” 
Chibiusa struck again, plunging the blade into the brute’s side.  He collapsed
to his hands and knees.  Screaming with the fury of a wild lemur, Chibiusa
pulled the sword back, raised it up over her head, and struck the ganger’s head
from his shoulders in one blow.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Daaaaaaaaaaammmmmnnnn!!!”
screamed Jedite and Haruka.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
she’s enjoying that WAY too much,” commented Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kami-sama
help the Crazy 88’s if they ever show up,” added Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Chibiusa
snickered nastily as she wiped the blade off.  Everyone else just stared at
her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Holy
crap!” cried Zoicite, “That’s the second person you’d decapitated in less than
ten minutes!  Are you trying to become one of those creatures from that
“Predator” movie or something?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Jeez,
look at the mess she made!” commented FishEye.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Quit
your b!^*hing,” snapped Chibiusa as she stepped over the body, pausing to make
sure Naga’s head was still attached securely to her fuku belt, “This guy was in
my way.”  Suddenly, an empty liquor bottle sailed through the air and impacted
against the side of her head, sending her to her knees.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– a pair of Skinz as they rounded the corner.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ya
got her, Zeke!” yelled one of them, “Good shot, man!”  The Skinz hefted their
clubs and charged forward.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Zoicite
looked to one side; several Skinz were approaching.  Helios looked to another
side; more Skinz were running towards them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh crap!” shouted Helios, “What do we do?!  What do
we do?!  What…?!”  He turned around.  He just caught sight of Nako-Nako
disappearing around the side of a building and Zoicite and FishEye were just
plain GONE.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!”
shouted Chibiusa as she turned and started running, “Wait for me!!”  Helios let
out a cry and started running in a different direction.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Run,
Forrest, run!!” shouted Tomoe, “Muahahahahahahaha…!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Poor
Nako-Nako!” sobbed Minako, “Chased by white surrealists.  This is all so
unfair!”  Hotaru slapped herself on the forehead.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
supremacists, you frickin’ moron!” she yelled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing Zoicite as he ran down an alley.  Turning a corner, he
skidded to a halt as he saw someone standing at the far end.  It was a young
lady with fair skin, deep green eyes, and lots of long red hair, most of which
was tied in a thick braid hanging down her spine.  She was wearing boots, white
shorts, and a long-sleeved jacket with big shoulder pads.  Clutched in her
hands was a huge broadsword and her eyes gleamed with barely-restrained
madness.  The girl smiled and chuckled as she began walking towards Zoicite.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
my goddess!!” screamed Jedite, “That’s Excel!!”  Tomoe let out a high-pitched
shriek of terror.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?!”
demanded Haruka, “You mean that psychotic red-headed bimbo from “Excel Saga”?! 
Oh sh!t!!  They’re all f^$%ed now!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
yeah!!” snarled Artemis, “This is gonna get good!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Who
are you?!” demanded Zoicite.  The girl just laughed maniacally.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
am Excel,” she began, “Fanatically loyal follower of Lord Ilpulazo and the
highest-ranking member of the super-secret ideological organization known as
ACROSS which only has two people working in it whose purpose is the conquest of
the city and ultimately the world!  Foul creature!  YOU are an obstacle to Lord
Ilpulazo’s great and noble plans to unify the world through conquest and he has
personally ordered me, his blindly-devoted and unquestioningly loyal and
lustful Excel, to eliminate you and…hey, where’d you go?!”  The camera turned
around to show the spot that had formerly been occupied by Zoicite, who was
nowhere in the area.  “HEY!!” screamed Excel, “Come back here and let me kill
you!!!  B@$tard!!!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Jedite
and Hotaru glanced at each other.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
god, she’s just as bad as Sailor Moon with the intro speeches,” commented
Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No,
not quite,” replied Jedite, “Usagi’s SLIGHTLY better than Excel.  At least
Usagi has her moments.  Excel’s just a complete idiot.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Meanwhile,
the scene switched again, showing Chibiusa, the Lunaball, Nako-Nako, and
FishEye running for their lives through the construction yard.  As they passed
by a Porta-pottie, the door burst open and one of the Skinz jumped out.  He was
a big, fat guy wearing nothing but a hockey mask and jeans…which he was still
trying to pull up with one hand.  The Skin-ner just chuckled.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>FishEye
rushed forward and thrust his club straight into the Skin-ner’s huge gut,
driving the bat over a foot into his stomach.  The Skin-ner collapsed to the
ground, dropping his club…and his pants.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Everyone
at home cringed as the camera showed a top-down view of the Skin-ner falling to
the ground, his big, fat, hairy, soiled @$$ exposed for all the world to see.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
god!” cried Michiru, “I did NOT need to see that!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
just exceeds all the boundaries of good taste!” added Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Agreed,”
commented Rei.Bot.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Eeeewwwww!”
cried Minako, “What’s that hanging between his butt-cheeks?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“It’s
not a candy bar, that’s for damn sure,” said Artemis.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
what’s she…?” said Haruka, pointing at the screen as Chibiusa grabbed the bat
off the ground.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
my…!” cried Hotaru as Chibiusa positioned herself near the stricken Skin-ner’s
head and raised the bar over her head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Help
me…white brothers…” groaned the Skin-ner.  Chibiusa laughed as she raised the
bat.  She then started whacking the ganger in the head.  Over and over and over
again.  After about the sixth hit there was a loud wet crack.  The camera
focused on Nako-Nako, then FishEye, then the Lunaball as blood splattered
across them.  After a few more seconds of continuous whacking, the camera
switched back to Chibiusa, who was panting like a Sumo, grinning like the
Joker, and speckled with fresh blood.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
seen some screwed-up people in my time,” commented M.A, “But you definitely
rank number one, kid!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Muahahahahahahaha…!!”
cackled Chibiusa.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ku-pi??”
said Nako-Nako, cowering behind FishEye’s leg.  FishEye looked around.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
where’s Helios?” he stated, “Where’d he disappear to?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– the corner of an alley blocked by a large stack of lumber, cement bags, and
cinderblocks.  Helios skidded to a halt, trapped, then spun around.  Two Skinz
now had him cornered.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Aww…sh!t!”
cried Helios.  Behind him, the Skinz began chuckling.  “Uuuhhhh, listen,” began
Helios, “Can’t we, like, make a deal or something?  I mean, you can’t kill me!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Why
the hell not?” demanded one of the Skinz.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yer
just a half-breed,” said the other, “Yer an affront to the purity of man, boy.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Listen,
the bounty,” continued Helios, “It’s only for a live capture.  If you kill me
you don’t get anything!”  The two Skinz looked at each other.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Isn’t
that what that big lizard thing said a while back?” asked Skin-ner #1.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
reckon so,” replied #2, “Sounds ‘bout right, ‘course I was drinkin’ pretty hard
back there.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Listen,”
said Helios, “I’m sure we can make some kinda deal here.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ye-ah,
I guess we can make some kinda deal here,” said #1.  Helios let out a sigh of
relief as he reached into his pocket.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Look,
I don’t have any cash on me but I can write you a check…”  Helios reached
around in his pockets and sweatdropped : his checkbook and his wallet were
gone.  Then he perked up a little.  “Wait a sec…I’ve got my rings and stuff!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“If
we want your money, we’ll take your money,” snarled #2.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
what do you want?” asked Helios.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well…we
require that you get your @$$ over behind that woodpile over there,” said #1,
pointing to a huge pile of plywood planks and metal piping.  “Now git!!” 
Helios began walking, receiving an occasional push from one of the Skinz as
they walked behind him.  They soon walked around to the other side of the huge
pile.  On the other side of the pile was a high brick wall, forming a dimly-lit
shadowy courtyard.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
now what…?” asked Helios.  Skin-ner #1 ( let’s just call him Bubba ) pointed
his club at him.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Now
let’s you just drop them pants!” he ordered.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?!”
demanded Helios.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Jus’
take ‘em riiiight off!” ordered Bubba again.  Meanwhile, the other Skin-ner (
let’s just call him Zed, shall we ) walked around behind Helios so that Helios
was between him and Bubba.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
argue now, just drop ‘em,” advised Zed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Just
drop ‘em, boy!” ordered Bubba.  Reluctantly, VERY reluctantly, Helios began to
take off his expensive designer jeans.  “An’ that shirt.  Take it off.”  Helios
began sweatdropping, then he started taking off his Yankees baseball shirt. 
“Them panties…” continued Bubba, pointing at Helios’ black boxer shorts, “Take
‘em off!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No
way,” he replied, “I don’t think so.”  Suddenly, Bubba charged at him.  Helios
tried to turn, but Zed jabbed him in the guts with his club.  Gasping hard,
Helios crumpled to the ground…then Bubba had him.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Everyone
watched in silence back at the Sub-Sen home as Helios got thrown around by
Bubba, tossed and rolled into the dirt that covered the ground.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the hell is going on?” asked Minako, “What’s that guy doing to Helios?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
don’t know, but I’m certainly enjoying it,” replied Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Boy,
you look just like a hog,” said Bubba, laughing a little after a minute of
shoving Helios around.  By now Helios was covered with dirt and was sobbing a
little.  Zed was laughing continuously as he watched everything.  Bubba kicked
Helios in the butt, sending him sprawling to the ground, then quickly moved in
and sat on his back.  He reached over, hooked two of his fingers into Helios’
nose and pulled up.  “C’mon piggy!  C’mon piggy-piggy!  C’mon piggy!  C’mon
piggy-piggy!  Gimme a ride!  I wanna ride!”  Helios just sobbed.  “Shut the
f#%$ up and give me a ride!”  Bubba punctuated his statement by thumping his
fist into Helios’ ribs.  Helios VERY reluctantly began to give Bubba a twisted,
perverted version of a horseback ride.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Bwahahahahahahahahaha…!”
laughed Hotaru as she started rolling on the floor.  Artemis was snickering
like crazy and Michiru was having a hard time keeping a straight face.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dude,
normally I’ve got no objection to seeing Horse-boy put through this kind of
treatment,” said Haruka, “But this is getting grotesque!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?
 Are you actually complaining about it?” asked Jedite.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No,
I’m just saying this is getting really weird,” replied Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Looks
like we’ve got a sire instead of a boar,” commented Zed, “He got a real purty
mouth, don’t he?”  Helios cringed as Bubba grabbed him by the ears and yanked
him to his feet.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
bet you can squeal!” exclaimed Bubba, “I bet you can squeal like a pig!  C’mon
now.  Squeal.  Squeal!  Weeeeeeeeeee!!!”  Helios just sobbed loudly.  “Oh, you
can do better than that, boy.  You can do better than that.  C’mon, squeal! 
Weeeeeeeeeee!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“…eeeeeeeee…”
sobbed Helios.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Squeal
louder…!” yelled Bubba.  Helios moaned louder.  “Louder…!”  A louder moan from
Helios.  “Louder…!!”  This time Helios squealed.  “Louder!!!”  Helios squealed
again.  “Louder!!!  Yeah!!!”  Bubba shoved Helios to the ground, got down
behind him, and grabbed Helios’ underwear.  Helios REALLY began to panic.
“Yeah, git them britches down!  We gonna have some fun now!  C’mon, squeal!!! 
Weeeeeeeee!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Eeeeeeeee!!”
yelled Helios as Bubba yanked off his underwear…and he began to realize what
was going to happen.  So did everyone back at the Suburban Senshi home. 
Elsewhere in the construction site, the haunting tunes of a banjo playing
“Yankee Doodle” could clearly be heard.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“OH MY
GODDESS!” screamed Minako, facefaulting “That guy’s going to…!  He’s going
to…!”  Tomoe, Jedite, and Haruka all burst out into hysterical laughter.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
this is just SICK!” cried Michiru, “I like it, but it’s just sick!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
man,” added Artemis, “Zoicite’s being chased by Excel, Helios is going to be
ridden like a pig, and Chibiusa and the others are getting set up for an
ambush…THIS F^#%ING ROCKS!!!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Helios’
great shame…” intoned Rei.Bot, “The scene from “Deliverance”…sure sucks to be
him.”  All of a sudden the screen went black…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>INTERMISSION
– SPOREHUNT WILL RESUME IN 5 MINUTES.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Good!”
cried Michiru as she leapt to her feet, “I’ve gotta pee like you wouldn’t
believe!”  Haruka rushed over to the phone and picked it up.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
gotta call Setsuna,” she stated, “This just rules!  I gotta see if she wants in
on this!”  Hotaru just kept staring at the TV screen, her eyes unblinking, her
face twisted by a sick grin.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhm,
Hotaru?” asked Minako, “Are you all right?”  Artemis sat up and waved his paw
in front of Hotaru’s face a few times.  Suddenly, Hotaru started laughing…low
and slowly at first, but then she leaned back against the couch and burst out
into great, huge peals of mad, hysterical laughter usually reserved for the
likes of Jinnai from “El Hazard”.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Squeal
like a pig, Helios!!!” she screamed, “Squeal!  SQUEEEEEEAAAL!!! 
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!!!”  Minako looked at Hotaru nervously, then moved away.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
think I’ll just sit over here for the rest of the night…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<h1>End of Part Three</h1>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Who
are the new Sporehunters?</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Will
Chibiusa and the others escape the ambush?</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Will
Zoicite survive the wrath of Excel?</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Will
Helios really be “violated”?  <i>Hotaru : “Yes!  Yes!  Please say yes!!”</i></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Find
out in the next exciting episode of Sporehunt!  You won’t be disappointed!</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

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=Episode 4=

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<title>T &amp; M Productions, in Association with Xadium Studios</title>

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<p class=MsoTitle style='text-indent:.5in'>T &amp; M Productions, in
Association with Xadium Studios</p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>And the Suburban Senshi Signal Corps</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>Shamelessly Presents…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<h1 style='text-indent:.5in'>Suburban Senshi : Sporehunt</h1>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>Episode 4</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>Kill the Spore.  Kill the F$^%ing Spore!</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Usual legal stuff : The following story and its
sequels are works of pure parody and fiction and do not represent actual views,
attitudes, and feelings.  Except in regard to Chibiusa Tsukino who needs to be
summarily executed.  Just about all of the characters portrayed in this are
pretty much the property of someone else.  They know who they are.  I’m not
stealing them; I’m just borrowing them for a little bit.  Imitation and
imagination are the sincerest forms of flattery.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Bwahahahahahahahaha…!” 
The sound of Hotaru’s mad laughter filled the house as she replayed Helios’
“Squeal like a Pig” scene over and over again.  In the meantime everyone else
was either taking care of some last-minute business or using the bathroom.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dammit,”
hissed Haruka, “I can’t get through to Setsuna.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hmph,”
snorted Michiru, “Who needs her.” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
Xadium’s not back yet,” added Minako, “That sucks.  He should be here for
this.”  Rei.Bot nodded.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Agreed,”
she intoned.  Meanwhile, Hotaru kept on laughing as she replayed the “Squeal
like a Pig” scene AGAIN.  Tomoe was laughing right along with her.  Jedite
grinned fiendishly as he watched Helios getting “abused”.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
yeah!” he sighed, grabbing another beer, “Now THIS is what I call quality home
entertainment.  Maybe they’ll nail Zoicite next.  I hear he’s into this kinda
thing…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
Hotaru, that’s enough,” stated Minako, “Once or twice was fine, but you’ve
played this scene eight times!  Aren’t you getting bored?”  Hotaru turned
towards her, her eyes glowing an evil purple.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No!!”
she hissed, “Muahahahahahahaha!!”  Jedite and Tomoe joined in laughing as they
all watched Helios “git them britches down”.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
okay!” cried Haruka, “We’re all here, so let it play through to the next part
already!”  Hotaru stopped laughing and frowned.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
fine!” she said with a huff.  She pressed “play” on the remote and let the
movie continue.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Helios
was freaking out as another shadow fell across him.  Nearby “Yankee Doodle” was
still being played at breakneck speeds on a banjo.  He looked up to see Zed
standing in front of him, smiling.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
gonna do some prayin’ fer me, boy,” stated Zed, “And you better pray good!” 
Zed unzipped his pants…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Suddenly,
Zed threw his arms up like he was about to burst into song, opening his mouth
to let out a huge, agonized screech.  He spun around, revealing that he was now
bleeding copiously from a deep puncture wound to his butt.  Nako-Nako darted
off to the side, her horn thickly covered with Zed’s blood.  FishEye gripped
his club tightly with both hands, set himself up, and swung at Zed’s head. 
There was an awesome crack, then the camera moved slightly to show Zed’s head
flying through the air like a homerun by Babe Ruth.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oooo!”
commented M.A. over the radio, “Zed’s dead, baby!  Zed’s dead!”  Meanwhile,
Bubba shoved Helios aside and tried to get to his feet.  Then he jerked to a
halt as he felt something get rammed forcefully up into his butt.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Pink
Sugar Heart Attack!”  Bubba screamed like a schoolgirl as his belly bulged out
( even more than it already was ) almost two feet, then he was launched
forcefully into the air by the pressure being created inside him.  Still
screaming, Bubba was flung almost thirty feet into a solid concrete wall,
smashing into it like a frog hitting a windshield…and making a similar mess.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“A
pink sugar heart attack up his @$$??!!” cried Haruka, “Damn, that would like
liquefy his insides!  Ow!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Talk
about movin’ the mail!” added Michiru, cringing a little, “Ow is right!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“But
Horse-boy didn’t get violated!” snapped Jedite, “Dammit!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
agree,” added Hotaru, “What a let-down.  I’m not satisfied.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Chibiusa,
Nako-Nako, and FishEye watched as Helios curled up into a fetal position and
started rocking back and forth, shuddering.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
am not yaoi,” he mumbled, “I am not yaoi…I am not yaoi…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Helios,
why the f#^% are you sitting there buck-naked?” demanded Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Helios
was about to “get ridden” so to speak,” replied M.A over the radio.  Chibiusa
gasped.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?! 
You mean he was about to be…?” asked Chibiusa, “You better not be gay,
Helios!”  FishEye and Nako-Nako burst out laughing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
think it’s too late for that,” replied FishEye, “You’re one of us now,
Horse-boy!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yup,”
added M.A, “You’re an honorary yaoi-boy!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“There’s
no turning back!” stated FishEye. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
I got it ALL down, too!” exclaimed M.A, “From every possible angle!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Squeeeeeeee!”
cried Nako-Nako.  Helios immediately burst out into a full-blown Sailor Moon
wail : he was never going to live this down.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” 
Everyone in the Sub-Sen home was once again on the floor, convulsing in
hysterical laughter.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
knew there was something funny about Helios,” called out Tomoe, “Now we’ve got
the proof!  Muahahahahahaha!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Get
your clothes on and quit your b!^*hing!” shouted Chibiusa as Helios slowly got
to his feet, crying all the while, “And wait ‘til we get outta this sh!t.  I’m
gonna kick your @$$ so hard for turning gay on me, you sh!thead!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“It’s
not true!” screamed Helios, “I’m not gay!”  FishEye and Nako-Nako looked at
each other, smirked, and started nodding.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
right,” said FishEye, “That’s what you’d like us to think.  Come on, Helios. 
Don’t be ashamed of how Naoko Takeuchi made you!” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Squeeeeeeee!”
cried Nako-Nako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“SHUT
UP!!!” screamed Helios.  FishEye and Nako-Nako dodged aside as Helios threw a
rock at them.  “Just shut up!  Oh god, I feel so dirty…( sob )!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Quit
screwing around!” ordered Chibiusa, “Let’s find that shed and get the f^%$
outta here!”  They all stopped.  “Yankee Doodle” was STILL being played.  They
all looked around one of the stacks of wood to see a weird looking American kid
sitting on the ground.  He was wearing only overalls and a tattered baseball
cap, had a strange blank empty expression and very few teeth, and was playing a
banjo so fast that his fingers were almost a blur.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Where
the hell did this kid come from?” asked FishEye, “And why the hell’s he just
sitting there?”  The weird kid just smiled vacuously at them as he kept on
playing.  Frowning, Chibiusa snatched the banjo out of his hands and proceeded
to bash the weird kid’s head in with it.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>FishEye,
Helios, and Nako-Nako watched in shocked silence as Chibiusa beat the kid to
death with his own banjo.  The discordant sounds of the banjo breaking apart
were strangely soothing for some reason.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Stupid
f&amp;^%ing redneck Skinz!” snapped Chibiusa as she tossed away the splintered
remains of the banjo, “I hate these b@$tards!” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
think the feeling’s mutual,” stated FishEye.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Jeez,
you whacked the kid like twenty times!” exclaimed Helios.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Now
let’s get to that shed before the SporeHunters get here,” ordered Chibiusa,
“And where the f$&amp;^ is Zoicite, anyway?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing Zoicite as he ran for his life through the construction
yard.  He leapt over a pile of cement bags, almost tripping as he landed, and
kept running, knocking over an empty barrel as he rushed past.  A moment later
Excel appeared.  Growling like a dog, she jumped over the cement bag pile,
landed effortlessly, hopped over the knocked-down barrel, and continued her
pursuit of her prey.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Come
back here!” she shouted, “Come back here and let me kill you, you jerk!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Help!”
screamed Zoicite, “I’m being chased by a psychotic homicidal maniac!  Somebody
help me!”  Suddenly, a pair of Skinz appeared in front of him.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Where
you goin’, city boy?!” called out one of them.  Zoicite barged past them and
kept going.  The Skinz looked back…then they were hacked to pieces by Excel as
she ran past.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“None
shall stand in the way of Lord Ilpulazzo!!” she screamed as she hacked one
Skin-ner down, then decapitated the other, “All who oppose Lord Ilpulazzo in
any way must die, because all who oppose him oppose the ultimate goal of
ACROSS…world peace and the end of corruption and evil and suffering everywhere
so that all people can live without fear!  Hail Ilpulazzo!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So
you’re saying this ACROSS-thing is dedicated to doing away with corruption and
evil and suffering in all forms, yet you say that everyone who stands against
it has to be killed?!” called out Zoicite as he ran, “What the f^%# kind of
logic is that??!!”  Excel skidded to a halt and stared off into space as she
tried to figure Zoicite’s statement out.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhhhhh…”
she mumbled for a few seconds, then she went into hyperactive mode again, “Oh,
just hurry up and let me kill you, you corrupted fiend!!”  Zoicite kept on
running and Excel kept on chasing after him.  Running past a row of
portapotties, he suddenly skidded to a halt.  Smirking a little, he dashed over
to the side near a building foundation and sat down, waiting for Excel.  He
didn’t have to wait long.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Panting
like a dog, Excel skidded to a halt, then laughed evilly as she gripped her
sword tightly and slowly approached Zoicite.  He was sitting on the ground with
both of his hands placed over his eyes.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
don’t even think of trying to trick me into thinking that if you can’t see me I
can’t see you,” she snarled, “That trick doesn’t work on me any more…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
mean it USED to work on her?” asked Artemis.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wow,”
said Minako, “Usagi never told me she had an older sister…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“How
do you know Excel’s not YOUR older sister?” asked Jedite, “I see a distinct
intellectual resemblance.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Same
here,” added Tomoe, “And they’ve both got back!”  Minako quickly grabbed her
“whack-wand” and smacked Tomoe on top of the head again.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Excel
prepared to strike.  Zoicite quickly looked up at her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wait,”
he called out, “You don’t want to kill me.” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes
I do,” replied Excel, “You’re nothing more than an annoying painful zit on the
butt of society!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
don’t understand,” continued Zoicite, “I’m not really here.  I’m just a
holographic projection that was put here to distract you.  The real Zoicite’s
over there in that porta-pottie.”  Zoicite pointed at one of the porta-potties.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
really?!” demanded Excel, “You devious deviant, trying to fool Excel!  You’ll
soon feel the wrath of Lord Ilpulazzo!”  Excel rushed over to the porta-pottie
and flung the door open, and looked around.  Naturally, she didn’t see anyone,
but she quickly saw the big hole.  Grinning, she began to stab her sword down
the hole repeatedly.  “Die!  Diediediediediedie…!!”  Zoicite immediately dashed
over, slammed the door shut, and slapped on the deadbolt.  As Excel began to
freak out and pound on the door, Zoicite rushed around to the other side and,
straining with all his might, knocked the porta-pottie over onto its door…with
Excel still trapped inside.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!!”
screamed everyone.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
that’s just nasty!” shouted Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Serves
the bimbo right,” commented Jedite, “That was almost too easy.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Damn! 
That was pure, unadulterated evil we just saw,” said Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Who,
Zoicite or Excel?” asked Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Zoicite,
of course,” replied Haruka, “Excel’s just pure unadulterated stupidity.” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
know, I think Rei did that to Usagi once…” stated Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Zoicite
began to quickly walk away, eager to get the hell away from Excel as she really
began to go hyperactive.  The porta-pottie rocked violently from her feverish
pounding.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Aaaaaahhhhhh!!”
she screamed at the top of her lungs, “You fiendish b@$tard!  How dare you
trick Excel like this!  Do you jerks actually enjoy seeing a pretty girl like
me get subjected to banal, mindless toilet humor?!  Lemme outta here!  And
what’s all this cold, mushy, wet stuff pouring out onto me that stinks so
bad?!  Oh sh!t…it’s sh!t!  It’s sh!t!!!  IT’S SH!T!!  Get it off!  Get it off! 
Get it off!  It’s a gushin’!!  It’s a gushin’!!  It’s a gushin’!!  Hyatt! 
Pedro!  Menshi!  Lord Ilpulazzo!  Great Will of the Macrocosm!  Somebody get me
outta here!!  Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!  I’m never going to get married…!!”  Excel let
out a full-throttle Sailor Moon wail as she continued to pummel on the plastic walls
of her prison.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– the end of an alleyway that a Skin-ner was standing in.  Suddenly, the
Skin-ner made a horrible choking sound as Helios slipped a leather belt around
his neck and yanked it tight.  Chibiusa and FishEye quickly rushed around in
front of the guy and proceeded to beat and hack the Skin-ner to death.  Helios,
grinning furiously, twisted hard – a loud snap came from the skin-head’s neck.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah!”
hissed Helios, “Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about.  Word up!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“These
f#^%ers are getting boring,” said Chibiusa as she wiped the blood off her
sword.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ll
say,” replied M.A., “Finish up with these white supremacist jerks, find your
new team member, and get outta there.  I got lots more planned for you suckers
to do before the night’s over.  Remember, look for a shed with a blue X painted
on the door.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah
yeah…” grumbled FishEye.  He then glanced up the alleyway.  “Hey, what’s
that?”  The camera swiveled and zoomed in on a single rose stuck into the
ground.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
asked Nako-Nako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
don’t think…?” asked Helios.  Chibiusa use immediately blushed as hearts
appeared in her eyes.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mamo-chan!!”
she cried, “Mamoru’s come to rescue me!  At last!  Mamo-chan!  Your Chibiusa’s
coming!!!”  Dropping the sword, Chibiusa quickly began skipping happily towards
the rose, leaving Nako-Nako, FishEye, and Helios behind, sweatdropping
something fierce.  The three of them looked at each other, then started
following Chibiusa, not sure what was going on.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
look!” cried Chibiusa, pointing straight ahead, “There’s another rose!  And
another!  And there’s another up ahead!”  She kept on skipping, which soon
began to make FishEye and Nako-Nako feel nauseous.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
know the feeling…” grumbled Jedite, not feeling too well himself.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“My
teeth are starting to hurt,” said Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mine,
too,” added Tomoe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
of a sudden I have this craving for insulin,” stated Michiru.  Artemis suddenly
sat up on his hind legs and clapped his paws together twice and began praying
Shinto-style.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
great Belldandy,” he prayed, “Keeper of all that is pure, please pretty-please,
don’t let Chibiusa sing that damned “Incest Song”!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What’s
with all the dang roses?” asked FishEye.  Nako-Nako shrugged.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“If
it is Cape-boy, why doesn’t he just stand on top of some building or materials
piles and make some dumb, long-winded speech or something?” added Helios, “This
makes no f^%#ing sense.”  FishEye thought for a moment.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Maybe
he doesn’t want to get shot at by the SporeHunters,” he replied, “I mean,
magical attacks are one thing, but bullets and plasma grenades?  Cape-boy
probably wouldn’t last three seconds against that.”  Helios shrugged as they
kept following Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene changed, showing Zoicite as he skidded to a halt and ducked into the
shadow of a building to catch his breath.  In the distance he could still hear
the alternating heart-rending sobs and soul-chilling shrieks of Excel as she
struggled to get out.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
Zoicite,” began M.A. over the radio, “Break’s over.  You’re close to the
shed.”  With a grumble, Zoicite stood up and looked around.  Sure enough, he
saw a small tool shed with a blue X painted on the door.  He waited for a few
seconds as some Skinz dashed past, heading towards the porta-potties to find
out who the hell was making all that noise.  As the Skinz past by, Zoicite
quickly dashed over to the shed and went inside.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
first thing he noticed was a large burlap sack that hanged from the ceiling. 
Rakes were scattered all over the place and something was struggling inside the
sack.  Zoicite walked over to the rope from which the sack hanged and untied
it.  The sack hit the ground with a loud thud.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Me-oowww!!”
cried the occupant as she tried to pull herself out, “Careful, you jerk!  That
hurt!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well
excuse the f^%# out of me,” retorted Zoicite as he tried to find a new weapon
amongst all the tools.  Then he saw who was in the bag.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Standing
before him was a teenaged girl with yellow eyes, fair skin, and long black hair
tied into two braids which joined together halfway down her back.  She wore a
tight-fitting, cleavage-revealing skirted black pleather suit, an earpiece
radio, the skullcap she wore had a number of bells on it, and her GPS collar
had bells on it, too.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Standing
in front of Zoicite was Sailor Tin Nyanko.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Suzu
“Tin” Nyanko,” announced M.A., “She’s the newest addition to the Spores.  She’s
wanted on two charges of attempted premeditated murder, possession and use of
an illegal weapon, and of being an intolerable shmooze in general.  The bounty
on Tin-Tin here is $15000 American.”  Nyanko immediately flushed red.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!”
she shouted, “Don’t call me Tin-Tin, you succubus b!^*h!”  Zoicite blanched a
little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Keep
it down!” he urged, “Those SporeHunters are getting closer and those damn Skinz
aren’t too far away.  By the way, what the hell were you doing in that sack?” 
Nyanko cringed as she rubbed some of the bruises on her body.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Getting
the crap beaten out of me, that’s what!” replied Nyanko, “I scratched one of
them earlier so they punished me by putting me into a burlap sack and beating
me with rakes.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Everyone
at the Suburban Senshi residence burst out into snickers.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Was
she being insolent?” asked Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Or
ill-tempered?” added Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oohh,
very!” replied Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“She’d
drink, she’d womanize, she’d make outrageous statements like she invented the
question mark,” said Tomoe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Sometimes
she’d accuse chestnuts of being lazy,” stated Rei.Bot.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Her
childhood was standard,” added Artemis, grinning, “Summers in Rangoon…luge
lessons…in the springtime they’d make meat helmets!”  Minako looked at them, totally
confused.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
are you people talking about?” she asked.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Never
mind, Mina,” replied Hotaru, then she broke out in a huge grin, “The
particulars of their lives are quite in-con-se-quen-tial!”  Everyone burst out
laughing again…except Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
don’t get it,” she said.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So
how’d you get caught?” asked Zoicite as he picked up a crowbar.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Lead
Crow and Aluminum Siren tracked me down and kicked my @$$,” replied Nyanko,
“That’s where I got half of these bruises from.”  Nyanko started sobbing a
little.  “Then they turned me over to their friends and THEY worked me over…” 
She cried some more.  “Then they put this horrible collar on me on told me I
was going to be hunted down like a DOG!  A DOG!  They called me a DOG, of all
things!”  She started crying full throttle.  “Oh!  Why?!  Why, Kami-sama,
why?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Because
you’re a schmoozing, butt-kissing, back-stabbing tramp who nearly killed two of
my closest friends,” replied M.A. over the radio, “So shut up!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“F^%#
you, Morrigan!” shouted back Nyanko.  She suddenly yowled in pain like a cat
getting its tail stepped on as she got zapped by an electric shock.  Nyanko
cringed again as she got zapped a second time.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the f%#%?!” cried Zoicite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Heh-heh,”
replied M.A., “Nyanko’s collar is designed to also give an electric shock
whenever I flip a switch.  It’s a little bonus feature I included…mostly
because I truly don’t like her.  Nyanko talks too much.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hmph,
like a certain director we know,” grumbled Zoicite, “Wait a second, who’s this
Morrigan person you’re talking about?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“She’s
the director, dumb@$$!” retorted Nyanko, “Morrigan Aensland, the succubus from
“DarkStalkers”.  She’s the one running this whole mess.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– the inside of the TV console room.  The shadow-clad female leaned forward
into the light, revealing a beautiful, well-endowed lady with long green hair
and black bat-like wings, wearing black boots and an outfit that looked like it
came straight from “Victoria’s Secret”…or “Fredericks of Hollywood”.  Morrigan
smiled knowingly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
correct,” she stated, “M.A…Morrigan Aensland.  Took you guys long enough to
figure that out.  Now that you’ve found your newest member hurry up and get
back together with the others.  They’re about to run into…”  Morrigan glanced
at a TV screen that showed a Warthog parked in some shadows, its occupants
lurking in ambush.  “…trouble!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Morrigan
Aensland?!” cried Artemis, “That’s the gal who’s directing “Sporehunt”?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wait
a sec…” said Hotaru as she calculated something in her head, “T&amp;M
Productions…Talon and Morrigan Productions?!  What the f^%#?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Muahahahahahaha!”
shouted Tomoe, “She’s a babe!!!  And she’s a succubus, too!  ”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No
kidding,” added Haruka, “Did you see the outfit she was wearing?”  Michiru
promptly whacked Haruka upside the head.  Jedite have Haruka a weird look.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
were staring at the outfit?” he retorted, “What’s up with you?  That girl’s got
a body that makes Minako look like a wrinkled old hag.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?!! 
Why you…!!”  Minako grabbed Jedite, yanked him off the couch, and proceeded to
smack the ever-loving crap out of him.  Everyone else just observed and
sweatdropped.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene changed, showing a wide open courtyard ringed by several small buildings,
a few construction vehicles, and several piles of building materials.  Chibiusa
was still happily skipping along, following the trail of roses sticking out of
the dirt.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Rain
or shine…I’m happiest!” she sang loudly, “When I’m with Tuxedo Mask! He makes
me sing he makes me laugh…!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH…!”
shrieked Artemis.  Haruka desperately lunged for the remote, but slammed into
Jedite as he tried to grab it and they both fell to the ground, sending the
remote flying to the opposite side of the room.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Make
her stop!” screamed Michiru, “Make her stop!  My ears are bleeding!”  Hotaru
flopped over and began convulsing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Too…much…sugar…”
gurgled Hotaru, “Need…antidote…”  Tomoe rushed over to the nearest potted plant
and noisy threw up into it. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ow!”
cried Minako as she suddenly grabbed the side of her jaw, “Toothache! 
Toothache!  Ow!  Ow!  It’s getting worse!  I think my gums are bleeding!” 
Rei.Bot quickly rushed to the bathroom and came back holding several syringes
which she handed out to everyone.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Insulin,”
she stated.  Everyone immediately began shooting up, inoculating themselves
against Chibiusa’s sickening display of cuteness.  Relief was almost
instantaneous.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing Zoicite and Nyanko rushing through the construction
yard.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“FishEye! 
Helios!  Somebody answer me!” cried Zoicite into the radio.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>FishEye,
Nako-Nako, and Helios stopped.  Chibiusa was still ahead of them and the
distance was growing.  The pink spore was almost running by now.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Zoicite?”
replied FishEye, “Where the f^%# have you been?!  We could’ve used your help a
while ago, you know!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
been having problems of my own, you cross-dressing freak,” snapped Zoicite,
“Listen, I’ve found the other person we were told to look for…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hiiiiiiii!”
called out Nyanko into the radio.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“…I’ve
also found out who the director is,” continued Zoicite, “It’s Morrigan Aensland!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
succubus from “DarkStalkers”?” replied FishEye.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
added Nako-Nako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Damn!”
said Helios, “Now she’s one fine piece of boo-tay!  I gotta gets me some of
that succubus @$$!!  It’s all good…it’s all okay…it’ll all work out when she
and I start to play!”  Nako-Nako and FishEye glanced at each other and groaned.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ku-PI!!”
shouted Nako-Nako as she gave Helios a swift kick in the shin.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Where’s
the spore-child?” demanded Zoicite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>FishEye
and Helios looked around.  Chibiusa was about thirty feet ahead of them.  She’d
stopped and was staring at something straight ahead.  FishEye, Nako-Nako, and
Helios moved closer.  In the middle of the yard was a single folding chair. 
Sitting in it was a figure wearing what looked like a cape and tuxedo.  He was
holding a rose in his hand.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mamo-chan!!!”
screamed Chibiusa as she ran forward, outrunning the Lunaball and laughing
happily, oblivious to everything else around her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Whoa! 
It’s Cape-boy!” called out FishEye, “Oooo!  And he looks GOOD!”  FishEye started
to pick up the pace as he followed after Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No!”
cried Nyanko, “Morrigan said something earlier.  I think it’s an ambush!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
asked Nako-Nako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ambush?”
asked Helios.  They both looked at each other in surprise.  Then they started
staring fearfully into the darkness.  The camera view followed around, moving
left and right randomly…then focused and zoomed in on one spot.  It was
difficult to make out, but the outline of a parked Warthog was just discernable
against the side of a wall.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
TV room of the Suburban Senshi was totally silent as everyone watched eagerly,
barely daring to breathe as they awaited the carnage.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Laughing
happily, Chibiusa dashed up to the tuxedo-clad figure and leapt into his arms,
hugging him tight.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mamo-chan!!”
she cried, “You came!  You finally came!  Now I can finally get this f^%#ing
collar off and you can kill those f^#%ing SporeHunters and we can go home and
you can let me f^$# you until your liver explodes!!”  She squeezed harder.  “I
know that’s what you want, so just admit it and we can start making out right
here if you want, right in front of Helios and FishEye and everyone else!  How
about that?”  She looked up and smiled…then facefaulted.  She was staring into
the blank-eyed, wide-mouthed face of an inflatable blow-up doll.  “What the
f^%#?!  This isn’t my Mamo-chan??!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>*
thunk *  Chibiusa looked down and saw a small black cylinder bounce off the
ground, coming to a halt a few feet away from the chair.  Another cylinder
landed nearby a second later.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“(
blink, blink ) Huh?” asked Chibiusa, “What are…?”  Both flash-bang grenades
detonated with a devastating 200-decible explosion and searing flashes of
light.  Chibiusa was immediately flung to the ground, blinded, deafened, and
stunned out of her mind.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YEAH!!”
shouted Adam, triumphantly as he watched the flash-bang grenades go off,
“Nailed the b!^*h!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Everyone
attack!” yelled Solarchos.  Seiya cackled maniacally as she took aim at the
prone Chibiusa.  The ambush had been sprung.  Morrigan laughed out loud over
the radio.  A fast-paced, kick-@$$, headbanging, speed-metal guitar riff began
playing (Pantera’s “kick-@$$ fight scene music” from the movie “Ghosts of
Mars”, to be exact ) as the SporeHunters began shooting.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>FishEye
skidded to a halt, his eyes nearly popping out of his head as the shooting
began.  He looked down as an orange laser-dot appeared on his chest.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uh-oh…!”
he groaned.  A moment later a shotgun blast rang out and a 12-gauge solid-slug
stun round struck him with the force of a mule kicking him in the chest. 
FishEye was knocked off his feet and slammed into a pile of cement bags.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HELL
YEAH!!” shouted Haruka.  Tomoe started laughing and Jedite began headbanging. 
Michiru looked at them with undisguised disgust.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Honestly,”
she grumbled, “You people are such barbarians.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
yeah,” retorted Jedite, “Like you weren’t going nuts when Barney was getting
torn to shreds.”  Michiru shrugged.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
you got me there,” she admitted.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Zoicite
and Nyanko threw themselves to the ground as more gunfire erupted near them and
bullets began whipping past them.  They both looked up to see two new figures
emerge out of the shadows.  The first was a mean-looking guy with short black
hair, unusually blue eyes, and wearing combat boots and black and grey camouflage
clothing.  A broadsword was slung behind his back, a small battle-axe hanged
from his belt, and clutched in his hands was a 12-gauge shotgun.  The scene
froze for a moment and the name “Leudast” appeared, then the scene resumed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
second person was, in fact, a girl with long delicate bright-red hair and eyes
to match, tight red clothing, and rather loose gauzy pants that were almost
transparent.  On one wrist she wore a bracer from which three long, curved
blades extended, sheathed by her side was a sword with a blade of black
crystal, and clutched in her hands was a Russian Dragunov sniper rifle.  Nyanko
gasped as she recognized her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Princess
Kakyuu?!” she yelped, “You’re one of the SporeHunters?!”  Kakyuu nodded and
smiled, her usually benign expression turning into one of savage anticipation.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yup,”
replied Kakyuu, “The fireball princess of fragrant olives has now become the
queen of @$$-kicking!  Leudast…”  Leudast glanced at Kakyuu.  “I now decree
that the time is perfect to layeth the smacketh down on these losers!”  Leudast
broke out into a huge, mad grin.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Gladly,”
he replied.  Zoicite screamed in terror, jumped to his feet, and started
running.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!!”
shouted Nyanko as she leapt to her feet, “Wait for me you bunghole!  Don’t
leave me behind with these psychotic freaks!!”  Nyanko quickly stopped as she
smelled something very odd.  “Ewww…!  What’s that stench?”  Leudast and Kakyuu
stopped and looked at her strangely.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
smell?” asked Leudast.  Nyanko sniffed again and shuddered.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ugh! 
It’s coming from you bozos,” retorted Nyanko, “Hey, princess.  I thought you
were supposed to be the princess of fragrant olives, not rancid feces?” 
Kakyuu’s face immediately flushed as red as her hair.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“WHAT
THE F^%# ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??!!” she screeched.  Suddenly, Nyanko’s face
became as white as Iron Mouse’s costume.  She trembled fearfully as she pointed
at something behind Leudast and Kakyuu.  Leudast and Kakyuu slowly turned
around…and instantly facefaulted.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Standing
not more than ten feet away was a vaguely human figure clutching a huge,
filth-encrusted sword.  The figure panted heavily, its shorts and jacket
completely saturated with near-liquid human excrement.  Its long hair was
hopelessly tangled, covered with liquid crap, and so thickly coated that it was
almost impossible to determine its original color.  Its green eyes seemed to
glow with the fires of rage and insanity.  From its mouth came a low, awful
chuckle.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!”
screamed Minako in terror.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“It’s
the Excremental from “Dogma”!” shouted Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“A
what?” asked Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“A
sh!t demon!” cried Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No
that is Excel,” intoned Rei.Bot, “She managed to get out of…the Porta-pottie.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
my god, that’s even WORSE!” cried Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
never used one of those filthy porta-potties before,” stated Michiru, “And
after seeing THAT I’m going to be afraid to go near one for the rest of my
life!  That is just SCARY!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
think I’m going to have nightmares about that!” added Hotaru.  Professor Tomoe
just kept on laughing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Lord
Ilpulazzo!!” screamed Excel, “Your loyal Excel has escaped from her sh!tty,
crappy prison and continues of her crusade to bring swift terrible death to
those who oppose you!  You b@$tards thought you could lock a pretty girl like
me in a plastic box and pour all kinds of foul substances all over my young
gorgeous body and laugh at me but you’re MISTAKEN!!  Nothing can stop Excel
from carrying out the wishes of Lord Ilpulazzo for he is…”  Kakyuu and Leudast
glanced at each other, eyebrows twitching, then simultaneously opened fire on
Excel and blew her away while Nyanko ran for her life.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YES!!!”
shrieked Haruka, Hotaru, and Jedite, headbanging like mad. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Helios
yelped as bullets began to impact against the wall next to him.  He dived to
the ground, barely evading a 12-gauge stun round.  Nako-Nako’s hat was knocked
off her head as a plasma grenade exploded nearby.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Remember,
SporeHunters,” advised Morrigan over the radio, “The bounty on Nako-Nako is
“double if dead”.  Muahahahahaha!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Wolfwood,
Seiya, and Jup.Knight glanced at each other, grinned, and all nodded.  All of
them turned and aimed at Nako-Nako while Solarchos switched to his MA5B assault
rifle.  Meanwhile, Adam and Starcat charged towards the stunned Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ku-PIIIIIIIII…!!!”
wailed Nako-Nako, diving for cover as bullets and laser blasts began to tear up
everything around her.  Helios stayed right where he was as a laser bolt
flashed over him and struck a propane tank somewhere behind him, causing it to
explode like a small bomb.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhhh…Mamo-chan…?”
groaned Chibiusa as she pulled herself upright.  Her ears were ringing like
crazy and she could barely see anything due to the bright afterimages that
seared her retinas.  She staggered to her feet, groping around herself with her
hands.  “Mamo-chan…where are…?”  Suddenly, she heard a loud whooshing sound
coming from somewhere nearby.  “Is that…?”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Adam
laughed wildly as he swung the Go-Go flail around, bringing it up to speed,
then whacked Chibiusa full in the stomach, sending the pink spore flying backwards…right
towards Starcat as she swung her baseball bat and nailed her in the middle of
the back…sending her flying right back towards Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YES! 
YES!  YES!” shrieked Jedite as he and Haruka continued to headbang wildly. 
Tomoe was <i>still</i> laughing non-stop.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“This
is so f^%#ing AWESOME!!!” screamed Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah!”
shouted Hotaru, “Hit ‘em!  Hit ‘em!  Hit ‘em!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nako-Nako…!”
wailed Minako, crying piteously, “Oh the humanity…!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kill
that b!^*h Excel!” cried Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah!
Yeah!” added Artemis, “Smoke that mother like she ain’t no thang!”  He and
Michiru high-fived  ( or, pawed in Artemis’ case ) each other.  Rei.Bot just
kept smiling…which got even broader as a splintered plank landed on Helios’
head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Beat
on the brat…!  Beat on the brat…!  Beat on the brat with a baseball bat!!”
chanted Starcat and Adam as they continued to beat the crap out of Chibiusa.  A
whack from Starcat sent Chibiusa sprawling back into the dirt.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
camera scene switched, showing Zoicite and Nyanko as they rushed into the field.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Holy
crap!!” screamed Nyanko as bullets whipped past her, “What the hell is this? 
The opening scene of “Saving Private Ryan”?!”  She and Zoicite quickly threw
themselves to the ground as a flash-bang grenade exploded nearby.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Saving
Private Ryan,” sighed Jedite, “Those first fifteen minutes were so
heart-warming…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?!”
cried Hotaru, “How can you say that?!  You and Haruka were both high-fiving
each other and shouting “Hoody-hoo” during that whole beginning scene every
time one of those poor soldiers died!  That was supposed to be a poignant and
moving film, not a comedy for you sickos!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!”
retorted Haruka, indignantly, “I was moved!  I got into that movie.  I
low-crawled it to the concession stand and back, remember?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
was embarrassed to be there with you!” exclaimed Hotaru, “I mean, you two
actually stood up and CLAPPED when that soldier with the flamethrower
exploded!  I was praying that no one would recognize me!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Saving
Private Ryan was the sh!t,” stated Jedite, “I’ve got that whole beginning scene
recorded as a continuous loop playback.  I call it “World War Three and Then
Some”.”  He nudged Haruka.  “I’ll show it to you later if you want.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
HELL yes!!” replied Haruka.  Hotaru just sighed and slumped her shoulders in
disgust.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-pov
: alternating slow-motion close-ups of the SporeHunter’s various guns firing at
Nako-Nako as she remained motionless behind cover, screaming in terror as
bricks, rocks, and wood all around her exploded and shattered, showering her
with the debris.  The scene switched and showed Chibiusa looking up just in
time to take a whack from Adam’s flail right in her side.  Starcat followed up
with a good, solid kick to the pink spore’s butt.  Meanwhile, the Lunaball just
hovered nearby.  A moment later the Skinz began to rush into the ambush site.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Git
‘em all, boys!” shouted one of them, “They ALL a bunch a no-good halfbreeds!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“White
power!” screamed another Skin-ner.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Purify
the white bloodline!” shouted another.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the hell are you morons talking about?!” retorted Solarchos, “I’m descended
from British royalty!  If that’s the case, then MY blood’s purer than ALL of
you white supremacist @$$holes combined!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing a rather surprised Morrigan staring at the TV screens
as the Skinz began charging at everyone.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the f&amp;^#?!” she cried, “The hell are they doing out there?!  All right,
that does it.  SporeHunters, I’m authorizing a general @$$kicking on all of
those white supremacist, redneck dumb@$$es.  Nail ‘em!”  The camera zoomed in
to show Wolfwood’s smile.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
yeah, I can dig that,” he hissed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Suddenly,
something else happened.  Up until now, the Lunaball had just been hovering
passively and doing nothing.  That changed as the Skinz began attacking
everyone.  Its eyes blinked red for a moment, then a little hole opened in its
mouth.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Warning,”
announced the Lunaball, speaking with a slight British accent, “M808V automated
defense system activated.  Multiple targets detected.  Commencing active
defense…ex-terminate!  Ex-terminate!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
hell…?” asked Adam as the Lunaball turned towards him and Starcat.  Several
Skinz began rushing up towards them, brandishing baseball bats and shouting
drunkenly.  The Lunaball spin around to face them and opened fire with a
flamethrower, immolating all of them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Holy
sh!t!” screamed Adam and Starcat.  The two SporeHunters immediately turned and
ran back towards the Warthogs.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oooooo
yeeeaaaahhhh!!” screamed Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Burn
baby burn!!” shouted Haruka as they all watched some Skinz flailing around
wildly.  Hotaru and her father just laughed insanely.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Awww,
those guys look cold,” stated Artemis, “Let’s warm ‘em up!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
love the smell of burning government cheese in the morning,” commented
Michiru.  Rei.bot nodded.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Smells
like…victory,” intoned the android with a little bit of a smirk.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Disengaging
the flamethrower, the Lunaball began opening fire with a full-auto machine gun,
spitting 9mm bullets continuously.  Jup.Knight and Seiya were still shooting at
Nako-Nako while Wolfwood disappeared into the shadows.  Solarchos dodged aside
as a Skin-ner swung at him with a baseball bat, then kicked the Skin-ner in the
crotch and followed up by smashing the stock of his assault rifle into the side
of the stricken ganger’s head.  He then pivoted and gunned down two more Skinz
with a couple of controlled bursts from the MA5B.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing a Skin-ner as he suddenly began jumping up and down,
desperately trying to shake something off his arm.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
in tarnation is that thing?” asked one of the Skinz standing nearby.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Looks
like one of them poker-mon balls,” offered one guy.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Get
it off!  Get it off!” shouted the afflicted ganger.  The camera zoomed in to
show that the object was, in fact, an armed Covenant plasma grenade.  The
screen turned bright white and immediately zoomed out to show flaming white
supremacists being forcefully hurled in all directions.  The next scene showed
Starcat flashing the V-sign.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes!!”
screamed Minako, “Explosions!!”  She began headbanging.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Rock
on!” cried Haruka.  Tomoe was STILL laughing non-stop.  Hotaru pointed at the
TV.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Look! 
There she is!”  Hotaru was pointing at Chibiusa as she dragged herself slowly
forward.  Hotaru began to smile wickedly as an orange laser dot appeared on
Chibiusa’s ankle…and began moving upwards.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes…yes…yes…”
urged Michiru.  The laser dot settled on the curve of Chibiusa’s skirt…then she
was knocked to the side as the 12-gauge stun round nailed her squarely in the
@$$.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“AWESOME!!!!”
shrieked everyone at the top of their lungs.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
Skinz were getting wiped out by the Lunaball as it continued to fire non-stop
at anything not wearing a GPS collar.  Chibiusa was lying on her side, howling
in pain from the whacks she’d taken.  Her fuku could actually withstand
bullets, but the SporeHunters had been whaling on her like a minor character in
a Quentin Tarantino movie.  Suddenly, Zoicite and Nyanko rushed up to her and
began dragging her towards a big pile of broken-up concrete and cement. 
Nako-Nako made a mad dash towards the same pile, bullets and laser blasts
churning up the ground all around her.  By that time Adam and Starcat had leapt
onto the Warthogs and were using the chainguns, tearing the crap out of the
remainder of the Skinz while Solarchos was shooting at the Lunaball.  FishEye
peered at the SporeHunters from behind a pock-marked metal drum.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
my, those go-cart thingies have really big guns!” he panted.  FishEye turned
around and saw Kakyuu and Leudast enter the field and begin moving around to
join up with the other SporeHunters.  “More SporeHunters?  Oh, that is not
good!”  He looked over at Zoicite and Nyanko as they dragged Chibiusa towards
the rock pile.  Nako-Nako was already cowering behind it.  “Stay here…” said
FishEye to himself.  He looked at the Spores, “Help…”  He turned and looked at
the Warthogs as the Lunaball’s bullets began pelting their armor.  “Stay
here…”  He look back at the Spores,  “Ah, screw it…”  FishEye got up and made a
mad dash for the rock pile…stepping on the middle of Helios’ back in the
process.  Gunfire followed FishEye as he ran.  As he dove behind the rock pile
he barely avoided getting hit by a stun round from a shotgun.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Solarchos
ducked down as bullets from the Lunaball sprayed past his position, kicking up
a fair amount of dirt.  Kakyuu and Leudast suddenly rushed up and dove behind
cover with him.  Kakyuu saw Solarchos, smiled ( revealing little fangs ), and
immediately leapt on him and started power-hugging ( glomping, as it’s usually
called ).</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the…?!” cried Solarchos.  Kakyuu giggled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Gotcha!”
she replied, “Glad to finally meet you!  Sorry we missed you earlier but
Leudast lost track of time!”  She cast a withering glare at her partner.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!”
retorted Leudast, nervously, “It’s not my fault!  You never told me we were in
a different time zone!”  Meanwhile, Solarchos peered through a gap in the stack
of bricks he was hiding behind.  He could see the broken rock pile behind which
the Spores were, but he couldn’t see the targets.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
Morrigan,” began Solarchos, speaking into his radio, “Where’s the Spore’s exit
point?  They’ve currently got us pinned down and I’m trying to figure out how
to deal with it.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing the succubus Morrigan as she called up camera images
from multiple angles and a map of the construction site.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,”
she replied, twirling some of her hair around her finger, “It looks like
they’ve pretty much got a straight shot towards the exit.  All they need to do
is keep that rock pile to their backs, move away, and they can run all the way
outta there.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Solarchos
frowned a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Great,”
he commented as he switched frequencies, “Okay, SporeHunters, we’ve gotta
circle around and flank the Spores before they figure out some way out of
here.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Meanwhile,
Morrigan was smirking wryly as she adjusted the radio frequencies so that the
Spores could here Solarchos’ orders.  The Spores all shuddered a little as they
heard Solarchos' orders.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We’ve
gotta do something!” cried Nyanko, “They promised that if I got caught I’d be
thrown into a pool full of ill-tempered mutant sea bass!”  Zoicite meanwhile
was leaned over the rock pile and shooting back at the SporeHunters with a
nail-gun.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“It’s
beautiful, man!” he exclaimed, “It’s just beautiful!”  He fired a few more
times, then ducked back as shots from Solarchos, Kakyuu, and Leudast shattered
against their cover.  Nako-Nako squealed in terror.  FishEye suddenly perked
up.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
I’ve got an idea!” he exclaimed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
take off your clothes and flash the SporeHunters,” offered Zoicite, “Maybe
they’ll all go blind.”  FishEye flipped off Zoicite and crouched down next to
Chibiusa, who was currently sobbed loudly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Those
f#^%ing SporeHunters!” snarled Chibiusa, “I’ll make them pay for this!  I’ll
make them all pay!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oooo,
the Spore-child’s pissed!” remarked Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“They’re
gonna pay, huh?” said Jedite, “Cash, check, or credit card?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nah,
they’re gonna pay with the money they get in royalties after this movie goes
into world-wide mass distribution!” said Artemis, “Those SporeHunters are gonna
be freakin’ rich!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Chibiusa,”
began FishEye, “May I use that Lunaball thing for a bit?  I’ve got a plan to
get us outta here.”  Chibiusa groaned in pain, looked skeptical, then handed
over a remote control device ( painted pink, of course…gak ).  FishEye pressed
the main switch on it.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hello,”
began a voice from the remote control ( which, of course, sounded like Luna’s
voice from the NA dubbed version ), “And thank you for activating the M808V
remote control spore-sitter.  You may call me Lunaball.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hello,
Lunaball,” replied FishEye, “Small basketball lady.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Would
you like to activate the tutorial program?” asked the remote.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
that’d be very nice,” said FishEye, “Thank you.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Tutorial
program activated,” announced the remote, “This program is intended to instruct
non-certified personnel in the use of this blue-class remote sitter.  Let’s
begin with some driving…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing Seiya and Adam blasting away at the Spore’s cover, and
failing to inflict much damage.  Both of them ducked down as the Lunaball
sprayed their position with bullets again.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cripes,
doesn’t that thing ever run out of bullets?” called out Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
know,” admitted Adam, “In hindsight, we should’ve just driven through and run
them down.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
good’s a Warthog gonna do us in this place?” retorted Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Gee,
I can see how you hiding behind a sheet of bullet-proof glass and me on the
chaingun’s a much better strategy,” replied Adam as he fired another burst at
the Lunaball.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
yeah, but…” began Seiya as she reloaded, “Ah, sh!t, I guess I gotta give that
one to you.”  Just then the Lunaball stopped shooting and began moving away.
“Anyway, Solarchos wants us to try and flank them.  Let’s sneak around the side
of that building and take ‘em out before they get away.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cool,”
said Adam as he got off the chaingun.  Both of them quickly jogged to one of
the side buildings while the rest of the SporeHunters kept Chibiusa and her
“krew” pinned down.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing the Lunaball pushing itself into a stack of planks as
bullets and lasers continued to hammer the area.  FishEye watched the Lunaball
closely, gritting his teeth a little as he worked the remote control.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Now
that you’ve mastered piloting the M808V,” announced the remote, “Let’s move on
to some of the safety features…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No,
no, wait.  Go back,” demanded FishEye.  The Lunaball pulled itself free of the
plank-stack and hovered there.  FishEye continued to work the controls, causing
the Lunaball to begin spinning in circles.  “Oh, why are there six switches if
there are only four directions?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Helios
pulled himself along the ground, trying desperately to get out of the ambush
zone and avoid being spotted.  His back hurt from where he’d gotten stepped on,
and his whole body was sore from the manhandling he’d suffered at the hands of
those two Skinz.  He shuddered : forgetting that torture would be hard as hell
to do.  But he was the “horse with the force”.  100 mother f^%#ing horsepower. 
Nothing scared him…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We
got you now, boy!” shouted a rough voice from behind him.  Helios flipped
around to see three Skinz rushing at him, ready to beat him to a bloody pulp.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yer
done now, freak!” shouted one of the others.  Suddenly, a few of the lights
illuminating the area failed.  All of them began looking around, confused by
the sudden darkness.  Then, one by one, the Skinz began to fall to the ground
as someone began striking them down.  Helios stared around fearfully, afraid to
move.  After a few seconds he tried to crawl away…then stopped as a red
laser-dot appeared on his hand.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What’s
the matter, horse-boy?” asked Wolfwood as he emerged from the shadows, holding
the gun from which the targeting laser was being emitted, “Afraid of the dark?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Helios
immediately began screaming like a little girl.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Muahahahahahahahaha!!!”
laughed Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes…yes!”
urged Haruka, “I see it happening!  Squeeze that trigger, dude!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Squeeze
it…squeeze it…squeeze it…!” began chanting everyone.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched again, showing Adam and Seiya as they quickly dashed around the
side of a building in order to flank the Spores.  After a few seconds of moving
they came to a blank wall.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dammit,”
snapped Adam, “I don’t think we’re going to be able to get around this way.” 
Seiya nodded.  The camera’s PoV changed, showing the two SporeHunters from the
front…and the Lunaball slowly moving in behind them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Tell
me again why we got out of the Warthog?” asked Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
I guess it was either this or sit there and take potshots from that
stupid-looking ball-thing all day long.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“At
least shooting at the Spores was kinda fun,” remarked Seiya.  They both turned
around…and saw the Lunaball hovering right next to them, it’s automated defense
systems protruding.  “HOLY SH!T!!  Where the f%$# did that thing come from??!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Why
is it just sitting there, doing nothing?” wondered Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh…I
think it’s just trying to mess with our heads,” replied Seiya, “Let’s just get
back to the Warthog.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>FishEye
grinned as he saw everything through the Lunaball’s point of view.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“This
remote sitter is equipped with an auto-fire sequence that can be activated by pressing
the autofire button,” advised the remote.  FishEye began looking over the
controls.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Autofire…autofire,”
he whispered to himself, “Here!  No, wait.  That’s more like pushing the
button…”  He continued to work at the controls.  “Wait!  Here it is!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
you ready?” asked Seiya as she and Adam began to slowly back away from the
Lunaball, “Let’s do this on three.  One…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wait,”
began Adam, “Do we run on three or count to three then run?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“On
three,” replied Seiya, “It’s always faster on three.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
okay,” said Adam, “On three.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ready?”
asked Seiya.  Just then something in the Lunaball clicked.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Tutorial
deactivated,” it suddenly announced, “Autofire sequence activated.  Acquiring
target…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“One…”
began Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Target
acquired…” announced the Lunaball.  Adam immediately turned and started running
like hell.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Two…”
continued Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– A pink-colored computer image of the area, complete with crosshairs…and Seiya
standing in the middle of them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Target
locked,” announced the Lunaball.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Three!”
shouted Seiya.  She immediately spun around…and noticed Adam running away. 
“Oh, you back-stabbing cockbite!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Firing
main weapons,” announced the Lunaball.  There was a bright flash, followed by
the distinct sound of a rocket engine igniting.  A small missile streaked
forward, shooting past Adam and Seiya, and slamming into the side of their
Warthog.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Son
of a b!^*h!” shouted Solarchos as he dove to the ground.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Son
of a b!^*h!” shouted Kakyuu as she dove on top of Solarchos.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Son
of a b!^*h!” shouted Leudast as got whacked in the head with a scorched pair of
fuzzy dice.  Another missile struck the Warthog, the impact rocking it
backwards onto its side wheels.  Then another missile struck it, completely
knocking it over.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Holy
sh!t!!” cried Starcat and Jup.Knight as they both ducked down.  Jup.Knight
quickly revved the engine of his Warthog and reversed out of the area. 
Wolfwood, startled by the sudden explosions, faultered for a moment, giving
Helios the opportunity to make a mad-dash for the other Spores.  Meanwhile,
Seiya quickly low-crawled up alongside Adam and thwapped him upside the head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey! 
I have a great idea!” she shouted as she whacked him, “Let’s get out of the
Warthog and sneak around the side of the building.  Great plan, you idiot!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Blame
Solarchos!” retorted Adam, “He gave the order!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
targets eliminated,” announced the Lunaball, “Acquiring new targets…”  Zoicite
looked up as Helios rushed over and joined them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
Helios is back!” called out Zoicite, “You missed it.  FishEye used Chibi-brat’s
Lunaball to scare off the SporeHunters!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
asked Nako-Nako, sounding nervous.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
Fish-guy,” replied Helios, “Good job.  Why didn’t you tell us you knew how to
drive that dumb thing?”  At the same time Chibiusa was slowly getting up and
tentatively walk around.  The Lunaball turned towards them…and Morrigan could
be heard laughing over the radio.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“New
target acquired…” announced the Lunaball as it focused a targeting laser on Tin
Nyanko.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
not a target,” called out Zoicite, “That’s Tin-Tin.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
that’s right!” added Nyanko, “It’s me, Tin…HEY!!  I told you not to call me
Tin-Tin!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Target
locked…” announced the Lunaball.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“WTF??!!”
screamed Nyanko.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?! 
No!” cried FishEye as he worked at the remote control feverishly, “Target
unlock!  Target unlock!  Please help me, nice lady!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Firing
main weapons…”  The Spores all shrieked in terror and ran for their lives as
the first missile struck the rock pile, shattering it instantly.  Before it
could fire another missile, a laser-dot appeared on the side of the Lunaball.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
can see you…” hissed Wolfwood as he took aim…then fired.  The bullet from his
Beretta struck the Lunaball in the side…and ricocheted off.  Seiya yelped
loudly as the bullet hit her in the leg.  At that same moment Kakyuu and
Starcat both threw Covenant plasma grenades at the Lunaball.  The grenades
latched firmly onto it and simultaneously exploded.  The double-blast was more
than enough to reduce the Lunaball to so much blue-colored slag.   Meanwhile,
Wolfwood was looking at Seiya, who was lying on the ground motionless.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh…oops,”
he stated.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Holy
sh!t!” shouted Jup.Knight, “Seiya, are you okay?!  Talk to me!”  He looked over
at Wolfwood.  “You shot Seiya, you team-killing f%$#tard!!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
b@$tard!” screamed Kakyuu, “Nobody does that to Seiya!  That’s my job!” 
Meanwhile, Solarchos surveyed the whole scene.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay
everyone,” he ordered, “Do not pursue.  We need to regroup.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The scene changed, showing all of the Spores running
at breakneck speed through the construction yard.  Finally, they pushed through
one last set of gates and emerged out onto a wide well-lit street.  All of them
skidded to a halt and facefaulted a little at the sight before them…which,
unfortunately, the cameras refused to rotate around to show the Suburban
Senshi.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the…?!” exclaimed Nyanko.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
asked Nako-Nako, tilting her head to the side.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Whoa!”
commented Zoicite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wha…?!”
remarked Chibiusa, “What the f^%# is this place?”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
location of the next scene,” replied Morrigan, “You now have to get inside
there, accomplish a couple of jobs for me, and then get out…all the while
avoiding getting caught.  I’ve arranged a little something to help you get
inside fairly easily.  However, it’s the getting * out * part that’s going to
be tricky!  Better get moving, the SporeHunters are regrouping, but that won’t
last long.”  Brow-twitching a little, the Spores all began moving towards their
newest objective.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Jup.Knight
reversed his Warthog, using the winch to pull the other Warthog back onto its
wheels.  Everyone else was brushing themselves off, reloading, or cleaning
whatever minor cuts and bruises they’d taken during the fight.  Solarchos and
Wolfwood were busy helping Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
here, Seiya,” said Solarchos as he pulled out a combat medical kit, “Where are
you hit?”  Seiya winced as she grabbed her foot just below the ankle.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ow! 
Ow!  Ow!” she cried, “My foot!  My foot!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Your
left foot?” asked Solarchos as he started opening the kit.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uh,
left…let’s see,” replied Seiya, “That makes an L with your thumb and…” 
Wolfwood and Solarchos both pulled Seiya’s left boot off.  Solarchos saw the
bleeding cut and went to work without another word.  Seiya glanced at
Wolfwood.  “I can’t believe you’re such a bad shot.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
don’t even start with me!” retorted Wolfwood, “I had Horse-boy right in my
sights until you screwed it up!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Minor
fragment hit,” said Solarchos as he finished examining the cut and reached for
a pair of tweezers.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?”
asked Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
bullet broke apart and you got hit in the foot by a small piece,” explained
Solarchos as he began trying to figure out how to remove the fragment.  “Is
there anything else wrong?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh…Oh! 
I got one!” exclaimed Seiya, “Uh, well, sometimes when I fall asleep at night I
dream about my parents having sex and I get really, really mad for some
reason.”  Wolfwood and Solarchos immediately stopped whatever they were doing
and stared at each other, then at Seiya.  Seconds slowly passed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
I’m just going to work on the foot,” said Solarchos.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Good
idea,” said Wolfwood.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,”
admitted Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene changed again, showing the SporeHunters as they quickly drove through the
rest of the construction site and through the gate the Spores had escaped to. 
Solarchos immediately braked as he saw the destination.  Wolfwood stopped his
Warthog right next to his.  Everyone watched Solarchos as he sweatdropped and
examined the GPS tracking monitor.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No…no…no,”
he kept saying, shaking his head, “This cannot be.  This can’t be where those
@$$holes went!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What’s
the problem?” asked Starcat.  Over the radio they all could hear the distinct
sound of Morrigan giggling.  Then everyone looked up and saw exactly what it
was that was making Solarchos so nervous.  Everyone facefaulted a little at the
sight of it…and this time the cameras swiveled to show what was going on.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Facing
them was a huge three-story building.  On the sidewalks stretching on either
side of it were literally hundreds of people waiting in line to go up the steps
and through the double-doors.  Cameras flashed and floodlights pierced the
darkness.  Anime boys and girls screamed and cheered ( but not at the
SporeHunters ), eager to get inside the place.  Quite a few cute young ladies
dressed in tight black blouses and short skirts were patrolling the streets and
keeping an eye on things, making sure nothing got out of hand.  Then everyone
saw the lit neon signs and * really * started sweatdropping.  Instead of
sweatdropping, Solarchos developed a sudden nosebleed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>They
had just arrived at Planet Hentai.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Morrigan
burst out laughing again, and in the background the SporeHunters could just
make out the sound of other girls laughing as well.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yup!”
announced Morrigan, “THAT’S where they went!  I warned you, Solarchos.  I’m
gonna cure you of your “Tenchi Masaki Syndrome” if it’s the last thing I do! 
And I’m gonna get ALL down on tape, too!”  Morrigan began laughing
insanely…then the scene faded to black.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>PLEASE
INSERT DISC 3</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
Suburban Senshi were silent for several seconds…then all hell broke loose as
they all lunged for the CD box.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Planet
Hentai??!!” squealed Prof. Tomoe, “Oh my god!!!  We have seen the gates of
paradise!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Disc
3!!  Disc 3!!  Disc 3!!” chanted Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Gimme
that!!” shouted Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No! 
* I * wanna put it in, dammit!!!” screamed Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No! 
Me!” cried Michiru.  All of them stumbled, dropping the CD case.  The treasured
disc 3 dropped onto the floor, rolled across the room, and unfortunately rolled
behind the counter.  The Suburban Senshi stared at the counter in despair,
unable to reach the priceless treasure that was the third disc.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ah,
dammit!” snapped Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Haruka,”
began Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah?”
asked Haruka.  Michiru turned to her, her eyes flashing with barely restrained
madness.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Get…the…axe!!!”
she ordered.  Haruka was only too glad to comply.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>End of Part Four.</span></p>

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=Episode 5=

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<title>T &amp; M Productions, in Association with Xadium Studios</title>

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<p class=MsoTitle>T &amp; M Productions, in Association with Xadium Studios</p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>And the Suburban Senshi Signal Corps</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>Shamelessly Presents…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<h1>Suburban Senshi : Sporehunt</h1>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>Episode 5 : Planet Hentai ( Oh my! )</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Usual legal crap : The following story and its
sequels are works of pure parody and fiction and do not represent actual views,
attitudes, and feelings.  Except in regard to Chibiusa Tsukino who needs to be
summarily executed.  Just about all of the characters portrayed in this are
pretty much the property of someone else.  They know who they are.  I’m not
stealing them; I’m just borrowing them for a little bit.  Imitation and
imagination are the sincerest forms of flattery.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Special thanks to the Fanboys Association for not
objecting to my use of some of their material.  Check out www.fanboys.com to
see the rest of their cool fanfics.  They’re as messed-up as I am!</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Michiru
smiled wickedly and let out a Naga-like laugh of pure madness as she took
another swing at the counter.  The axe bit deep into the side, splintering the
wood with a loud crack.  On the other side Jedite was busy using a chainsaw to
tear apart the countertop.  Prof. Tomoe and Haruka just watched and started
headbanging like idiots.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah!”
cried Haruka, “Use the chainsaw!  The chainsaw!  Rrrrrr-rrrrrr-RRRRR!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Go
Michi!” called out Tomoe, “Smack that counter like a baby seal! 
Muahahahahahaha!”  Hotaru and Minako just sweatdropped.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
god, they’re getting worse,” groaned Hotaru.  Rei.bot quickly walked over and
effortlessly ripped off the countertop.  With the interior of the counter
exposed, it didn’t take long to find and retrieve the precious third disc of
Sporehunt.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
got it!  I’ve got it!” cried Michiru, happily.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“My
precious!” warbled Artemis.  Everyone ignored him as they quickly rushed back
into the den and began playing Disc 3.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>THE
FOLLOWING PREVIEW HAS BEEN APPROVED BY T &amp; M PRODUCTIONS…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cool! 
Maybe it’ll be a commercial for Planet Hentai!” called out Prof. Tomoe.  A
moment later everyone facefaulted as the smiling face of Usagi Tsukino appeared
on the screen.</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“The ambiquity that I feel never justifies itself,”
began Usagi, “There’s always the pungent odor of life’s constipation that
surreptitiously conflicts with the detrimental instability hitherto fore,
six-eight, who do we depreciate, the unification of Congress…oops, excuse me,
condoms…demystifying the squalor of profanity regurgitating over and over
again.  Here, let me digress my bowels for a minute and invite to the front the
nondescript hernia rectifies the miscommunication of fetal, or fecal, depending
on where your head is at.”</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Reading
is fundamental,” stated the female announcer.  The scene zoomed out slightly to
show that Usagi was tied to a chair in the middle of an empty classroom.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Do
not be persecuted by the pompous fedora balanced by the equilibrium fortified
by the American’s inability to eradicate or foreshadow, taken from the Hebrew
word – foreskin.”  Usagi was abruptly cut off as Petz and Cooan of the Ayakashi
Sisters suddenly came up, jammed a cupcake into Usagi’s mouth, and then
proceeded to start beating her with rubber hoses.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Understand
what you read,” stated the announcer, “She doesn’t!  This message has been
brought to you by the United Odango Scholarship Fund.”  There was a loud whap
sound, and the screen froze, showing a particularly comical expression on
Usagi’s face as Cooan gave her the mother of all pimpslaps that seemed to make
the lower half of Usagi’s face shift two inches to the left.  A caption
appeared underneath the picture : “Don’t let this happen to you!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
Suburban Senshi stared blankly at the TV screen…then burst out into hysterical
laughter.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“She’s
getting worse!” laughed Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Poor
Usagi!” cried Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“If
we give to the Odango Scholarship Fund, does that mean we get to pummel Usagi
senseless, too?” asked Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hell,
if that’s the case,” replied Michiru as she grabbed her purse and started
rummaging around in it.  Haruka, Tomoe, and Artemis suddenly began grinning as
the screen went dark.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
yeah, here it comes!” hissed Haruka.  Prof. Tomoe began giggling quietly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>AND
NOW, CONTINUING WITH OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YES!!!”
screamed the Suburban Senshi at the top of their lungs.  Many high-fives were
made as the screen brightened up.  The scene showed Chibiusa, Zoicite,
Fish-Eye, Helios, NakoNako, and Nyanko standing in an alley behind Planet
Hentai.  They were all making their way very slowly towards a locked armored
door.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Remind
me again why we’re here,” began Nyanko as she peered around nervously.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Because
I said so,” replied Morrigan over the radio, “Now shut up and get over to that
door.”  A few seconds later they reached the door…and much to their surprise it
was unlocked.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
who didn’t see that one coming?” remarked Zoicite as they all quickly dashed
inside.  NakoNako was the last one through the door, which promptly shut and
locked behind them.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
you bozos, pay attention,” stated Morrigan, “Especially you, Chibiusa.  You are
now locked inside Planet Hentai, the hottest and most ecchi nightclub in all of
Japan…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HELL
YEAH!!!” screamed Tomoe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
yeah, we’re gonna see some good stuff now!” added Haruka.  Michiru frowned and
quickly thwapped Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
only way out is through the front doors,” continued Morrigan, “But it’s a
little more complicated than that.  You’ve all got a few objectives to
accomplish.  You see Chibiusa…I’ve captured your family!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?!”
cried Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-pov
– The camera was looking down on Usagi, who was dressed in her rabbit pajamas,
gagged, and tried to a chair.  A couple of cute Black Delmos were standing
nearby.  All of them were in a small room in front of a pair of doors.  One was
marked “Yuri”.  The other was marked “Yaoi”.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Usagi-chan!” cried Minako, distressed, “Oh no! 
That Morrigan’s REALLY paying for it now!”</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhhh,
I think Usagi will be the one paying for SOMETHING pretty soon,” said Artemis,
brow-twitching, “Yuri and Yaoi doors?  What the heck’s that all about?” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing Shingo Tsukino who was also tied up and gagged. 
Keeping a close watch over him were Lead Crow, Chocolat Misu, and Questis
Trepe.  All three of them were holding whips and, despite the gag, Shingo was
drooling a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
yes, baby!” cried Tomoe, “Whip it!  Whip it good!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kick
his @$$!” called out Haruka, “Kick his @$$ right now!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Do
it!” added Jedite, “Don’t wait for the pink fungus!  Execute the little punk
right now!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“C’mon,
Shingo!” shouted Hotaru, “Take it off!  Take it all off!!”  Everyone stared at
Hotaru in stunned amazement.  Hotaru blushed fiercely.  “Uhhh…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched again, revealing that Ikoku and Kenji Tsukino, Usagi’s mother
and father, had also been captured.  They were tied together, obviously as a
“package deal”, and were seated in what looked like a kitchen.  Shampoo was
standing nearby holding a huge meat cleaver while Nuku-Nuku sat across from
them, not taking her eyes off either one of them. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No! 
Not Usagi’s mom!” cried Michiru, “She’s the only person in that whole f%#$-up
family with any sense of style!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Shampoo
and a cleaver,” remarked Tomoe, “That scares me for some reason.”  Meanwhile,
Artemis was ogling Nuku-Nuku, leaning forward and drooling.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mmmmm…!”
he sighed dreamily, “Cat-girl…!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched one last time, revealing the bound and gagged form of none other
than Mamoru Chiba…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“CAPE
BOY!!!” shouted Jedite and Haruka, “Awesome!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Death
to Cape Boy!” screamed Tomoe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Something
about seeing him tied up like that just makes me feel so…excited!,” added
Michiru.  Hotaru just cackled darkly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Mamoru
was sitting in the center stage a small auditorium.  The camera slowly spun
around, revealing the Saber Marionettes standing in various parts of the room. 
Mamoru looked slightly nervous since Fiore was sitting in the front row with a
bucket of popcorn and a weird grin.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
decided to throw in a special added bonus here,” continued Morrigan, “Your
objectives are simple…become a real hero and save your family!  However, every
time one of the Black Delmos or any of the staff here at Planet Hentai sees you
they’re going to take out one of the hostages.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Screw
‘em!” retorted Zoicite, “I ain’t wasting my time saving anyone!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
spore-child’s family can kiss my @$$!” stated Nyanko.  FishEye spun around and
b!^*hslapped Nyanko hard.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Never
say that about my Mamo-chan!!” shouted FishEye, “We have to save him!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
and screw that meatball-head!” added Chibiusa, “I hope she’s the first one to
get whacked!  I want Mamo-chan all for ME!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Fine,
leave that fine-looking Usagi for me…and her hot momma, too!” replied Helios. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Chibiusa’s
“Electra Complex” is getting WAY out of control,” said Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Not
as much as Helios’ raging hormones,” added Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“He
ain’t fooling us!” laughed Tomoe, “He’s a yaoi-boy no matter what he says or
does!  Muahahahahaha!!”  Hotaru quickly joined in, laughing hysterically.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So…without
further ado…it’s time for a little overtime!” stated Morrigan.  Fuming
silently, Chibiusa led the way down the hall…and into Planet Hentai.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing the outside of Planet Hentai as the Sporehunters were
planning their next move.  The line of excited anime characters waiting to get
inside was impressive to say the least.  They all stared at the huge scene
before them…and facefaulted.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Planet…Hentai?”
asked Kakyuu, incredulously, “Is this place for real?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
we’ve gotta go in there?” asked Leudast, “Sweet!”  Seiya and Kakyuu promptly
thwapped him.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
know,” began Starcat as she stared up at the huge 3-story building, then down
at her somewhat revealing costume.  “Somehow I feel extremely under-dressed.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mimete
cosplayer-kun!!!” cried Tomoe as he lurched towards the TV.  Haruka and Jedite
grabbed him and pulled him back to the couch.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Calm
down, Professor pervert!” urged Jedite.  Michiru just reached over and whacked
Tomoe in the head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Look
at that line-up!” exclaimed Adam, “There must be several hundred people in
there!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Which
reminds me,” began Wolfwood.  Everyone watched as he removed his camo clothing,
revealing a sleek maroon armani dress shirt, slacks, leather shoes, and
shoulder and belt holsters for his weapons.  Everyone stared at him in
astonishment.  “What?” he asked as he adjusted his shirt, “I just threw
something together.”  Kakyuu just rolled her eyes and groaned.  “Hey, don’t
hate the player…hate the game.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No,
I’ll just hate the tailor,” remarked Jedite.  Michiru glanced at Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
you have an outfit like that somewhere?” she asked.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the…?!” cried Haruka.  She jumped to her feet and rushed upstairs to her room.
“He stole my outfit!!” she shouted a minute later, “That b@$tard!  He stole my
f^%#ing outfit right outta my closet!  I’ll get him for this!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Whoa!”
cried Seiya, “I think I just saw Go-Go Yubari go inside!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Planet
Hentai…!” sighed Jup.Knight and Wolfwood blissfully, staring up at the large
set of armored double doors that led inside.  The Gold Delmos from “Aika”
stared right back at them all.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uh…Solarchos?”
asked Starcat, “Are you okay?  Your nose is leaking.”  Solarchos quickly
discovered that his nose was, in fact, bleeding a la Tenchi Masaki.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“F#%$!”,
he hissed as he glanced around at the throngs of people waiting to enter, then
at the Gold Delmos.  Suniya saw him and winked right back.  Solarchos gulped
nervously.  “Not good.  Not good at all.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Over
the radio they could all hear the sound of Morrigan snickering.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Are
you all right?” asked Seiya.  Solarchos ignored her and tried to regain his
composure…then facefaulted big-time as Minnie-May Hopkins from “Gunsmith Cats”
came outside and started talking to the Gold Delmos.  The other Sporehunters
also noticed that a few of the Black Delmos were starting to come towards them
with curious expressions on their faces.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
we’ve got a problem,” explained Solarchos, “The Spores are inside and from what
I’ve heard this place has a strict “no weapons” policy…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
look sort of pale there, Solarchos,” advised Kakyuu, “Leudast!  Stop staring at
Lum’s bikini!  You’re MY b!^*h, remember?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Going
through the front doors isn’t going to work,” continued Solarchos, “So we need
to come up with some kind of alternative.  Any questions or suggestions?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,”
said Jup.Knight, raising his hand, “Why’s your nose bleeding?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Man,
what I wouldn’t give to get Hotaru inside this place!” exclaimed Wolfwood,
happily, “Oh, the things we could do!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
thought you said you just watched her from afar?” asked Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,”
replied Wolfwood, “Those feelings I’ve got for Hotaru ain’t all spiritual, you
know.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Hotaru’s face turned bright red as she
sweatdropped.  Tomoe burst out laughing again.  Haruka started with the
faux-tears.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh…our Hotaru’s growing up so fast!” cried Haruka.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yup, soon she’ll be going out every night and using
home pregnancy tests every week,” added Jedite, “And THEN she’ll be joining the
Sailor Senshi Hooker Hotline!”  With a loud snarl Hotaru spun around and leapt
at Jedite, tearing into him with the fury of a crack-head chimpanzee as she
tried to beat the crap out of him.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Sailor Senshi Hooker Hotline?!!” shouted Minako,
“Why you…!!”  Everyone else burst out laughing as Minako proceeded to help
Hotaru in pummeling Jedite.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Uhh…Miss Aensland?” began Starcat, speaking into
the radio, “Do we really have to go in there?”  Morrigan’s twisted laughter was
her only reply.  Meanwhile, Adam and Wolfwood were staring at Solarchos, a
little concerned.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Dude, are you hyperventilating there?” asked
Wolfwood.  Solarchos didn’t answer : he was too busy staring up at the fierce
white-haired Delmo Toniya, the sweet-faced long-haired Suniya, and Minnie
Hopkins.  Suniya waved slyly, Toniya winked, and Minnie-May blew him a kiss. 
Solarchos’ normally pale complexion was starting to match Kakyuu’s hair.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I think our intrepid leader’s gone bye-bye,” stated
Adam. </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh my god, I just saw Ryoko go inside!” called out
Seiya, “And Xelloss…and Allen from “Escaflowne”…and Cloud Strife…and Utena…and
Heero from “Gundam Wing…”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Holy crap, isn’t that Nabeshin down there?!” cried
Leudast, pointing at the huge line which was now starting to slowly filter
through the main doors.  Seiya looked at the spot where Leudast was pointing.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Dude!  It is!  The Afro-man himself!!” shouted Seiya.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“YES!!!” shouted Haruka, “Nabeshin is the SH!T,
man!!!”  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Damn right!” added Artemis.  Rei.bot nodded
silently.  Meanwhile, there was a loud whack from behind the couch that sounded
like Jedite getting slapped hard.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Man, the only way this could get any better is if I
turned around and found myself staring right into some gals’ cleavage,”
remarked Jup.Knight.  He turned around…and found himself staring *directly *
into the VERY low cut dress of Kaorinite.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“KAORI-KUN!!!” shrieked Tomoe as he threw himself at
the TV, drooling.  Haruka and Rei.bot managed to grab his legs and pull him
back to the couch.  Hotaru and Minako were preoccupied with giving Jedite an
atomic wedgie.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Shin’ne, you b@$t@rd!!!”, shouted Minako as she
slowly pulled the back of Jedite’s underwear further and further up, much to
Jedite’s dismay and displeasure.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“That’s it!” cried Hotaru angrily as she kept Jedite
pinned to the floor, “Squeal like a pig!  C’mon, squeal!  Squeal!!! 
Squeeeeeeeeeee…!!!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Kaorinite smiled slyly as she watched Jup.Knight’s
face turn bright red.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Well, I see you all made it this far,” she began,
“Nicely done.  You still haven’t managed to capture any of the targets,
though.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“We almost had them!” retorted Kakyuu, “Up until
that pink b!^*h used that f#%$ing Lunaball…and Wolfwood tried to shoot Seiya!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Hey!  That was an accident, dammit!” protested
Wolfwood.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Well, Solarchos, what are you going to do…besides
stand there and bleed from your nose?” asked Kaorinite.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yeah, what’s up with that, anyway?” asked Adam.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I told you,” explained Morrigan over the radio,
“Solarchos suffers from “Tenchi Masaki Syndrome”.  There’s something about him
that girls find extremely cute, but he also suffers from the usual “side
effect” of selective shyness.  The cuter the girl – the more extreme the
shyness.  Well, let’s see you avoid a hot date here, chummer! 
Muahahahahaha!!!”  Kaorinite quickly joined in with Morrigan’s laughter as she
watched Solarchos blush even more.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Look, can we just get off the topic of my social
life and get back to the Sporehunt here?!” he exclaimed a moment later, “Jeez,
Morrigan!  You are SUCH a perv!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Well, I think I might be able to help you out with
your current problem,” explained Kaorinite, “All of you need to get inside
Planet Hentai in order to continue chasing after Chibiusa and her cronies. 
You’ve got two choices.  You can either go up to the front door and actually
try to overcome your shyness…”  Kaorinite pointed up to the front doors where
May Hopkins and the Gold Delmos were waiting.  All of them were watching the
SporeHunters curiously…and waved.  Wolfwood, Leudast, Adam, and Jup.Knight
waved back.  Starcat, Seiya, and Kakyuu grumbled a little.  Solarchos just
blushed and sweatdropped.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Of course, they’d have all of you check in your
weapons at the door before entering,” continued Kaorinite, “And with all the
gear some of you are wearing they’d probably physically search you, too.”  For
some reason Morrigan started cackling again.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I could definitely go for a full pat-down from
those girls,” offered Wolfwood.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Me, too!” shouted Tomoe, “Search me!  Search me!” 
He quickly stood up, faced the wall, and “assumed the position”.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Same here!” added Haruka.  She yelped painfully a
moment later as Michiru quickly slugged her in the thigh for her “verbal
indiscretion”.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I’m not letting them take my precious plasma
grenades!” exclaimed Starcat, “What’s the other option?”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You’re only other option is a little more
difficult,” elaborated Kaorinite, “There’s a secret entrance that goes through
the Tokyo underground.  It’s mainly used by the owners and by special guests to
avoid the crowds.  It’ll be easier for you to get in there with your weapons if
you go that way.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“All right,” replied Solarchos without hesitation,
“We’ll take that back door you’re talking about.  Lead on.”  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>C-Pov – the edge of an empty hallway inside Planet
Hentai.  Zoicite was carefully looking around the corner at the door to the
men’s room.  A moment later Ataru Moroboshi walked out with his usual perverted
grin and burning lust for any halfway decent girl.  Giggling a little, he
turned and headed back towards the party.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Kupi?” asked Nako-Nako.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Whoa, isn’t that Lum’s lecher boyfriend?” whispered
Nyanko, “Why aren’t I surprised to see him here.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Okay, let’s just wait a minute for him to walk
away, then we’ll…” began Helios.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Uhhh…where’s Chibiusa?” asked FishEye.  Everyone
looked around, then down the passage towards Ataru.  “Oh sh!t!!  Not again!!!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Ataru let out a strangled squeal as Chibiusa jumped
onto him from behind, wrapping a long length of very thin metal wire around his
neck.  Grinning evilly, her eyes flashing bright red, Chibiusa leaned back
hard, pulling the wire as tightly against Ataru’s throat as possible.  Ataru
began struggling wildly, but it was too late as Chibiusa began yanking the wire
back and forth and side to side.  A few seconds later Ataru Moroboshi’s head
popped off, spraying blood everywhere from his ruptured jugular veins.  He
collapsed lifeless ( and headless ) to the ground.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Ahhhhh!!  Ahhhhh!!   Oh my goddess!!!” screamed
Tomoe.  Artemis and Rei.bot just stared in horror at the brutality of
Chibiusa’s assault.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“HOLY SH!T, that RULED!!!” screamed Haruka, “That
f^#$ing ruled!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Kill that horny son of a b!^*h!” shouted Michiru,
“Ooo-hohohohohoho!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Lum will be most pissed,” intoned Rei.bot. </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Nyanko stared at Ataru’s headless body…then threw
up. </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh my goddess, that’s so disgusting!” shouted
FishEye.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“What I’d like to know is where the hell she got
that wire in the first place,” said Zoicite.  NakoNako was busy poking Ataru’s
corpse.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Kupi?” she asked as she prodded his leg. 
Meanwhile, Chibiusa picked up Ataru’s head and proudly held it up like a
trophy.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“O-hohohohohohohoho!!!” she laughed with manic glee.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Babe, that’s just f#%&amp;ed up,” commented
Helios.  Morrigan just laughed over the radio.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Beautiful, kid!” called out Morrigan, “You’re
really getting the audience off, Chibiusa!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“No she’s not!” retorted Hotaru, “She’s freaking the
living hell out of us!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“No sh!t,” added Michiru.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Chibiusa’s psychosis has now fully manifested,”
said Haruka, “I say we forego committing her to the nuthouse and just kill her
now.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Great, now she’s the Hannibal Lector of jailbait,”
commented Artemis.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Maybe the SporeHunters will save us the trouble,”
said Tomoe.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I would recommend…summary execution…” intoned
Rei.bot, “Whack her.  Whack her good.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Just then a Black Delmo looked around the corner to
see who the hell was making some much noise.  She blanched as she caught sight
of the Spores…and Ataru’s head in Chibiusa’s hands.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh f#^%!!!” she cried.  The black-clad girl
immediately spun on her heel and ran down the hall.  “Hey!  It’s them!  It’s
them!  Do it to her!”  Chibiusa sweatdropped.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Ah dammit!” hissed Zoicite as he and the rest of
the Spores began chasing after the Black Delmo.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>C-Pov – Usagi sitting helpless and tied up in a
chair.  The two Black Delmos standing near her suddenly tensed up as they heard
the third girl screaming.  Without a word, the two girls grabbed Usagi and
pulled her over to the two doors.  Despite the gag in her mouth, Usagi began
wailing.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Let’s see,” mumbled one of the girls as she tried
to figure out which door to shove the wailing Usagi through.  One was marked
“Yuri”, the other was marked “Yaoi”.  “Eenie…meenie…mynie…”  She smiled
wickedly at Usagi.  Usagi looked back at her, shaking her head desperately. 
“Hey Moe!!!”  The Black Delmo reached over and yanked a previously unseen rope
hanging from the ceiling.  A trap-door in front of Usagi suddenly opened…and a
large clutch of writhing, wriggling tentacles suddenly burst out, wrapped
around Usagi, and yanked her out of sight.  Then Usagi REALLY began screaming. 
Morrigan just laughed her ass off.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The scene switched again, showing the Spores’
reactions as they heard everything.  They had no idea what was happening to
Usagi, but from the loud wailing,  deep groaning, and fabric ripping they heard
coming from her it sounded like Usagi was suffering terribly.  Then the audio
cut out ( as the trapdoor shut ).  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I told you what would happen if they saw you,”
explained Morrigan, still snickering, “They heard.  She got it.  Life’s a
b^!*h.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“That’s okay!” chirped Chibiusa, “Now I’ve got
Mamo-chan all to me!”  Chibiusa burst out laughing while everyone else just
sweatdropped.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Damn, she rebounded from that pretty quickly,”
commented Tomoe.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Show the footage!  Show the tentacle-action!”
shouted Michiru, “We wanna see!  We wanna see…!”  It was Haruka’s turn to thwap
Michiru.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The scene switched, showing the SporeHunters and
Kaorinite as they got into a large elevator and started riding it down.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Whoa,” commented Jup.Knight, “Where the heck did
this thing come from?”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Do elevators just pop up everywhere in Tokyo?”
asked Adam.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Actually, this is an Animamate cargo teleporter,”
explained Kaorinite as she put on a cool pair of sunglasses, “It functions on
the same principles as their teleport booths.  Now, as you know no weapons are
allowed inside Planet Hentai.  At the bottom of this elevator there is a
coat-check girl and, if you’re lucky, one recycled monster-of-the-day for
checking guns.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“And if we’re unlucky?” asked Seiya.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“There will be many recycled monsters-of-the-day,”
replied Kaorinite.  Suddenly, the doors opened, revealing a room flanked by
rows of pillars.  On the far side of the room was a large desk and a wall
stacked with huge amounts of weapons, mostly guns and swords.  Standing near
the desk were about five daimons and phages ( Nakoneeru, Sailor Mademoiselle,
Sailor Pretty, Sailor Picture, and Doorknobda ).  A second later cute little
Mil from “Maze” stepped up with her kawaii colorful ( and scanty ) outfit and a
smile.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Hi, may I take your…?” she began, then she saw the
SporeHunters, “Oh crap!”  Wolfwood quickly grabbed Mil and yanked her inside
the elevator, shoving her into Kaorinite’s grasp as the rest of the
SporeHunters quickly rushed out.  Solarchos, Jup.Knight, and Seiya all leveled
their weapons and began firing, blowing Doorknobda totally away.  The
background music started up as the gunfight began ( “Coat-check Chaos” from the
Matrix – Revolutions soundtrack ).</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yes!  Yes!  Yes!” cried Haruka, “Smoke ‘em!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Matrix-style gunfight in progress Jedite!” shouted
Tomoe, “Quit playing Twister with Minako and my daughter and get your butt out
here!” </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“We are NOT playing Twister!!” shouted Minako as she
and Hotaru stood up.  Jedite stood up, too, with his underwear now up around
his stomach.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Matrix-style gunfight?!” demanded Jedite, “Where?” 
Everyone pointed at the TV.  Jedite climbed over the couch and sat back down. 
“Oh hell yes!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Nakoneru and the phages all scattered, ducking
behind the pillars or jumping up onto the ceiling.  The SporeHunters all
glanced at each other, then spread out and began kicking @$$.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Dashing across the walls and ceiling, Nekoneru
charged at them, weaving left and right as bullets and laser blasts cut around
her.  Solarchos tossed his shotgun to Starcat, then pivoted around and emptied
his MA5B’s current clip into Sailor Pretty.  Wolfwood and Seiya joined in,
catching Sailor Pretty in a 3-way crossfire that quickly took her down.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Starcat caught the shotgun and began firing at
Nekoneru, blasting the neko-daimon with 12-gauge rubber solid-slugs that hit
like sledge-hammers.  Nekoneru cried out as Starcat nailed her with a direct
hit to her side.  Falling to the ground, the daimon was easy prey for Adam and
Leudast, who quickly dispatched her with their swords.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Shutter click!” shouted Sailor Picture as she
opened fire with her attack, firing an energy beam at the SporeHunters and
blowing an appreciable dent into one of the walls.  Jup.Knight and Kakyuu both
returned fire at the Phage.  Sailor Picture yelped painfully as several bullets
and laser blasts cut into her.  She quickly jumped onto the ceiling and began
flipping backwards, avoiding the rest of Kakyuu’s and Jup.Knight’s shots as
they both emptied their weapons at her.  Sailor Picture jumped back to the
ground and spun around behind one of the pillars…and subsequently got her head
blown off by a direct-contact blast from Wolfwood’s Desert Eagle.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Sailor Mademoiselle attacked Starcat directly,
knocking the shotgun out of her hands and attempting to whack her with her
whip.  Starcat ducked aside, evading the whip, and lashed out at the Phage with
her elbow blades.  Mademoiselle dodged aside easily, flipping acrobatically
onto the ceiling.  Starcat leapt into the air with a “Matrix-style slow-motion
kick” and slammed her foot into the Phage’s face, sending her flying backward
into the wall.  Mademoiselle fell to the ground and staggered to her feet…only
to find the SporeHunters dashing for cover.  She looked down…and saw the
Covenant plasma grenade Starcat had slapped onto her.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Aww, FUGNUTS!!!” screamed Sailor Mademoiselle.  A
second later the plasma grenade went off, instantly transforming her into Sailor
McNuggets.  Starcat faced the camera again and flashed the V-sign, smiling.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Explodey-dodie-odie!” she called out.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“That was fun!” exclaimed Kakyuu, “Can we do that
again?!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Nicely done,” commented Morrigan over the radio,
“Wolfwood, that blast to that Phage’s head was just golden!  Keep it up!  I’m
getting some great footage here.”  Meanwhile, Solarchos reloaded and took a
look through a doorway that led to some stairs going up.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Okay, these stairs go up to the main floor of
Planet Hentai,” he explained, “That’s primarily the dance floor, the
restaurant, the kitchen, the karaoke rooms, the fighting pit, and the games. 
Hopefully, we can get to the main staircase without getting spotted.  We don’t
want to start a fight in here.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh, speaking of starting fights,” stated Morrigan
over the radio, “I had some standard “Sporehunt care packages” put behind the
desk there.  One’s for Kakyuu, one’s for Leudast, and the plastic case is for
you.”  Kakyuu, Leudast, and Solarchos went to get the care packages while the
other SporeHunters began checking out all the cool weapons hanging on the
walls.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The packages all contained the usual things (
cufftape, equipment harness, flashlight, knife, and some cash ) but Leudast
also got a Point-Blank heavy Kevlar armor vest and a steel-cored tonfa like
Wolfwood while Kakyuu got a stainless steel combat fan, a compound bow, and a
small package of arrows.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Solarchos opened the case.  Lying inside on a
foam-rubber bed was a large rifle that looked vaguely like an AK-47 due to its
slightly curved ammo clip.  The barrel was huge; it looked like the rifle fired
20mm bullets.  The whole gun was rather large, slightly bulky, probably
armored, and looked extremely powerful.  It also featured a laser sight mounted
along the top of the barrel and a variable-power sniper scope.  Solarchos
picked it up and the two extra clips of ammunition.  He ejected the clip
currently loaded and cleared the chamber- the bullet he ejected was as big as a
shotgun shell and was topped with a sharp-pointed cap that looked like it could
punch through armor like paper.  Big as the rifle was, Solarchos carried it
quite easily.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I figured you could use the extra firepower,”
explained Morrigan, “You can thank me later!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Damn!” exclaimed Jedite, “Do you see the size of
that hand-cannon?  It’s bigger than he is!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Now that’s what I call a “world shaker”!” commented
Haruka.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Doesn’t that thing violate a few arms-limitation
treaties out there?” asked Hotaru.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“That Solarchos must be a member of the NBA to get a
hold of a gun like that,” remarked Minako.  Artemis sweatdropped at Minako’s
statement.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“What’s he going to do with that thing?” asked
Michiru, “Vaporize Chibiusa and her cronies?”  She suddenly became very silent
and her eyes widened as she realized something.  “OH HELL YES!!!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yeah, he’s gonna strike down upon them with great
vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy his
brothers!” cried Tomoe, “And Chibiusa will know his name is the Lord…!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“When he lays his vengeance on her!!!” screamed
Jedite and Haruka.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Damn!  What the hell kinda gun is that?!” asked
Wolfwood as he stared at Solarchos’ new rifle.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Long story,” replied Solarchos, “I’ll tell you
about it later.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Hey, if you’ve got that thing, can I use your
shotgun?” asked Starcat, hopefully.  Solarchos nodded and handed her his
shotgun bandoleer.  In the meantime Kakyuu was happily examining her new
weapons while Leudast put on his new armor vest.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“And Morrigan said we could actually KEEP all this
stuff afterwards?” said Kakyuu, excitedly, “This is awesome!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yeah, Sporehunt rules!” exclaimed Leudast.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You got that right!” replied Seiya as she
high-fived Leudast.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“All right, let’s keep moving,” announced Solarchos
as he finished loading up.  The SporeHunters quickly went up the stairs.  At
the top there was a door and through it they could hear the distinct sounds of
loud, thumping music.  A few of them started moving their heads to the beat.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Damn, that sounds like a kick@$$ party going on the
other side,” commented Jup.Knight.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Is everyone ready?” asked Solarchos.  The guys all
nodded eagerly.  The girls didn’t look quite as excited.  Solarchos sighed
deeply; his hand rested on the doorknob.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“OPEN IT!” screamed Tomoe, “Open it, you
pantywaist!!!” </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Turn it…turn it…turn it…!” chanted Jedite, Haruka,
and Artemis.  Hotaru and Minako shook their heads and sighed.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>C-Pov – down towards the doors leading into the main
area of the club.  The doors opened, and the SporeHunters quickly filed
through.  Everyone stared in amazement at the scene around them…</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>At the home of the Suburban Senshi there was a loud
moan and then silence as they ALL stared at the TV, utterly mesmerized by the
scene.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>”Oh…my…god,” gasped Jedite after a few seconds.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL!” shrieked Tomoe, “Muahahahahahaha!!!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Cover your eyes,” warned Michiru.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yeah, do it Hotaru,” added Haruka.  Michiru turned
and looked at Haruka.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I’m not talking to Hotaru,” growled Michiru. 
Haruka just sweatdropped.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Uhh…Hotaru-chan, are you all right?” asked Minako. 
Hotaru was even paler than usual and blood was trickling from her nose.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The inside of Planet Hentai was the stuff of every
fanboy’s dreams ( and probably a few fangirls, too ).  The camera rotated
around to view everything as the next song began playing ( “In My Head” by Pale
3 from the “Matrix – Revolutions” soundtrack ).  The interior of Planet Hentai
was huge, with split levels, flashing lights, neon signs, and lots and LOTS of
hentai memorabilia that made all of the SporeHunters sweatdrop.  Most of the
first floor was dominated by a large dance floor over which numerous go-go
dance cages were suspended.  On the other side of the dance floor were a couple
of stages.  On one stage Planet Hentai’s resident band, Priss and the
Replicants, were jamming away hard.  The other stage was the realm of the
club’s exotic dancers : the were-jaguar from “Gold-Digger” was currently
grooving and gyrating to the delight of dozens in an outfit that left
absolutely *nothing * to the imagination. </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Whoa!  What on earth is keeping that outfit on that
were-jaguar?!” asked Haruka.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Uhmm, the eyes of every fanboy in the place?”
offered Artemis.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent style='text-indent:0in'> </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The dance floor was quite well-packed with
schoolgirls, biker-boys, bishonen, and anime characters galore, all of them
intent on bumping, grinding, and getting their freaks on all night long. 
Dancing the night away in the Go-Go cages were Naomi Armitage, Shayla-Shayla
from “El Hazard”, Washuu, Faye Valentine from “Cowboy Bebop”, TigerEye,  Aerith
Gainsbrough from “Final Fantasy 7”, and much to everyone’s surprise, Yaten,
Taiki, and Ami Muzino.  Out on the dance floor they managed to recognize Filia
and Sylphiel from “Slayers”, the sexy Mad Hatter from “Clamp’s Miyuki-chan In
Wonderland”, Tira Misu, Yohko Mano from “Mamono Hunter Yohko”, Marron Glaces,
Zechs Merquise from “Gundam Wing”, Dee Layter and Ryo Maclaine from “Fake!”,
Nuriko from “Fushigi Yugi” ( who, oddly enough, seemed NOT out of place in here
) and all of the Witches 5 and the Animamates ( with the obvious exception of
Tin Nyanko ).  They were just a few recognizable faces amongst several hundred.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“What the f%$#??!!” screamed Kakyuu, “What are Yaten
and Taiki doing here?!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I don’t believe this!” shouted Seiya, “Those
bungholes said they were going out of town for a special appearance!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Uhhh…they’re sure making an appearance here, that’s
for sure,” replied Wolfwood.  A moment later they ALL sweatdropped big-time as
they watched the were-jaguar get off the stage and Galaxia herself got on.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Tomoe began bouncing in his seat.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Look!” he cried, “Mimette-kun!!!  Shake it, baby!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“All of the Witches 5 are there!” replied Haruka,
“Wow!  Cyprine and Pikurol are groovin’!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I have to admit that Eudial’s got a pretty good
body on her,” said Jedite.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Holy sh!t!” screamed Artemis, “Galaxia got back!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“What the f^%# is Ami doing in that place?!”
demanded Hotaru, “She gets embarrassed when *other * people watch other people
kissing!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yeah, she’s more shy and geekier than you!” added
Minako.  Hotaru glared at her, then thwapped Minako upside the head.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Nearby were the booth-seats and tables of the
restaurant, and the well-endowed girls of “Variable Geo” were roller-skating
all over the place as waitresses.  Adam barely managed to avoid getting run
over by the skateboarding bunny-girl from “Wonderland” as she sped by. 
Everyone else stared at the various clientele in the restaurant.  Misato
Katsuragi from “Evangelion” and Melissa Mao from “Full Metal Panic” were
bellying-up on sake, Happosai was happily swiping the panties off of Yurika
Misumaru from “Nadesico” ( and she didn’t seem to mind that much ), and Miaka
from “Fushigi Yugi” and Lina Inverse were in the middle of a catfight over food
while Tasuki, Chichiri, Carrot Glaces, Hotohori, Gourry, Xelloss, Tetsuya
Kagibara, Tamahome, and Keisuke Yuuki were all watching and cheering on. 
Again, they were just a few of the recognizable faces amongst many.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh my…!” gasped Tomoe as the camera focused on the
catfight between Miaka and Lina for several seconds, “Oh my…!  Where is this
great and wonderful place?!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oooo!  Miaka just b!^*hslapped Lina!” called out
Artemis.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Very unwise,” intoned Rei.bot.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Most dishonorable,” added Michiru.  Everyone began
either cringing in sympathy or laughing hysterically as Lina grabbed Miaka in a
headlock, grabbed a steak, and began shoving the entire thing into Miaka’s
mouth. </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“…Eat it, you b!^*h!!” screamed Lina, “Eat it!  Eat
it!  Every bite! Oh-hohohohohohohoho!!!”  Tomoe immediately joined in with her.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The SporeHunters glanced over at the area opposite
of the restaurant…and facefaulted.  This was the “fun zone”, containing the
Jell-O fighting pit ( where the Space Pirate Ryoko was currently taking on
Utena ) and numerous games of “skill”.  Jyako Amano was playing the Mokona
Malleting game, Vash, Rally Vincent, and Gene Starwind were playing the “Plug
the Puuchuu” game ( with real Puuchuu’s, by the way…and live ammo ), Duo
Maxwell and Shinji Ikari were having the times of their lives playing “Spank
the Senshi”, Valgarv and Kaiba Seto were having fun playing “Pin the Spear on the
Lilith”, but the most fun was being had running the Naughty Tentacle Obstacle
Course…and in it Mihoshi was NOT having much luck, much to everyone else’s
delight.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“SPANK THE SENSHI??!!” screamed everyone in the
Suburban Senshi den.  Even Rei.bot looked surprised.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“YES!!” screamed Jedite as he saw that Venus and
Saturn were the one’s being spanked in the game, “Oh hell yes!!”  He and Tomoe
began headbanging moments later.  Minako and Hotaru made record-breaking
face-faults.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I am not amused,” said Michiru, flatly.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Spank the Senshi?!” exclaimed Haruka, “Dude, that
is f#%$ed up more than anything that has ever been f#%$ed up before!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I AM NOT A SEX SYMBOL!!!” screamed Hotaru, “Why do
people keep putting me into all kinds of ecchi situations usually wearing only
a string bikini, dammit?!”  Minako just stared at the TV.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I think Minako’s brain melted-down,” called out
Artemis.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“She never had much of a brain to meltdown in the
first place, cat,” replied Jedite.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Holy crap!” cried Seiya, “The Spores could be
anywhere in where!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“We need to split up and start searching,” replied
Jup.Knight, raising his voice over the noise.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“No way!” retorted Solarchos, “We’ve got to stick
together in here and not get separated!  Otherwise, we might now be able to
find each other again.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Damn!!” shouted Leudast as he stared out at one of
the nearby booths, “It’s Princess Fatora and Arielle Relraye from “EL
Hazard”…and they’re making out right here!!!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Dang, man, you’re not kidding!” cried Wolfwood. 
Kakyuu’s face turned bright, luminous red.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“LEUDAST!” she screamed as she b!^*hslapped him from
behind, “*I’m * the only princess you’re allowed to look at!”  Suddenly she and
Starcat made shocked expressions as Happosai suddenly dashed by…holding both of
their panties in his hands.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Heavenly feminine treasures!!!” he proclaimed as he
bounded through the crowds.  Starcat and Kakyuu immediately chased after him,
and Leudast went along involuntarily as Kakyuu’s hand was latched on to his
ear.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Come back here with our panties, you freak!!”
screamed Kakyuu and Starcat.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“AAAAaaaaaaahhhh!  Let go of my ear…!” cried Leudast
as the three of them vanished into the crowds.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Uhhh…are we ever going to see them again?” asked
Seiya.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Crap!  Not good!” stated Solarchos.  He sighed and
took a deep breath.  “All right, we’re going after them.  Let’s go.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Staying together in one group, Solarchos,
Jup.Knight, Wolfwood, Adam, and Seiya began maneuvering onto the dance floor,
keeping their weapons concealed and trying to be as inconspicuous as possible (
under the circumstances ).  They were successful…for about three seconds.  By
that time they were almost at the stages.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Wolfwood-sama!  Solarchos-sama!” screamed someone. 
Both Wolfwood and Solarchos looked over to see a blur of white coming at them
like a Skud missile.  A moment later Iron Mouse latched onto both of their legs
and held on tight, hugging both of them and smiling.  “Mmmmm, my two favorite
boy-toys have finally come for me!” she sang happily.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Ahhhhh!” screamed Seiya, pointing at Iron Mouse,
“It’s the psycho Sailor-stalker!”  Wolfwood began to panic.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Hey!  Get offa me, Nezu!” cried Wolfwood as he
tried to pull away from Iron Mouse, “I can’t be seen with you!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“What?!” demanded Iron Mouse, “Are you saying that
hot, torrid night you and I spent together meant nothing to you?!”  Jup.Knight
started having problems of his own as someone grabbed him from behind.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Love me, dammit!” screamed Asuka Langley from
“Evangelion” as she threw herself at Jup.Knight.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh sh!t!” he screamed, “It’s the Eva Angst-Addict! 
Somebody help me!”  Adam stared at him and recoiled a little, then happened to
look up…and sweatdropped.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>C-Pov – Up towards the light-rigging over the
stages.  Rikkuo and Paine had just finished tying a banner onto it.  They
glanced at each other, nodded, and let it fall open.  The banner proudly
proclaimed “Planet Hentai Welcomes Sporehunt!”.  Tifa Lockhart was busy hanging
a life-size Chibiusa plushie from a noose while Yuna, Kei, and Yuri saluted it
like the national flag.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Solarchos looked up and saw what was going on.  He
began to facefault, then events happening on the stage caught his attention.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Galaxia had finished “struttin’ her stuff” and the
next dancer came out.  She was a lean, trim girl with a creamy complexion,
athletic body, fine white hair that fell to her shoulders, and large lavender
eyes.  Her cat-like ears and long tail instantly identified her as a
Neko-girl.  She was wearing a too-tight schoolgirl uniform and moved with a
grace and dexterity no human could ever hope to match.  Solarchos stared at
her, mesmerized as she began to twirl and dance around the stage.  Then the
cat-girl began to start removing her uniform.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Neh, cat-girl,” said Hotaru with a little contempt.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Whoa!  Take it off, baby!” cried Tomoe as he whipped
out a bunch of yen bills.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Now I know why the youma were all attracted to
schoolgirls,” said Jedite, “There’s just something about a cat-girl in a school
uniform!”  Then there was a small thud as Artemis caught sight of the cat-girl
loosening her sailor-top…and promptly fainted.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Whoa!  Isn’t that Shaldra?” asked Seiya.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Who?” retorted Adam.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Shaldra Darkness!  From the forums!” explained
Seiya, “I didn’t know she worked here.”  In the background the amorous Asuka
had brought Jup.Knight to his knees while Iron Mouse was still clinging to
Wolfwood’s leg ( much to his dismay ).</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“*That’s * Shaldra?!” replied Solarchos, “That’s
her?!”  His expression was one of complete surprise.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“What?  What’s wrong?” asked Adam, “You’ve spoken
with her before on the forums.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yeah, but I had NO idea…!!” replied Solarchos as he
kept watching Shaldra, unable to take his eyes off her.  The cat-girl looked
back, saw Solarchos staring at her, gave him a wink and blew a kiss. 
Solarchos’ nose instantly began bleeding again.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yo!!” cried Sailor Heavy Metal Pappillon as she
watched the proceedings, “Hey everybody!  We’ve got a “Tenchi” on the floor!” 
She was pointing directly at Solarchos, who immediately facefaulted.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“It’s a set-up!!” he shouted, “Ready weapons!” 
Seiya and Adam gave him a funny look; Jup.Knight and Wolfwood were
preoccupied.  Solarchos whipped out his Ares Predator and aimed it at the
crowds surrounding them.  Just then he noticed what was happening up on the
stage.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Shaldra was having a few problems of her own as Maze
( in male form ), Ryo Saeba, and Rei Hino’s grandfather were all grabbing onto
her tail and pulling her towards them.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Ow!  Dammit!  Let go!” she screamed, “My tail is
NOT a handle!”  Without a second thought Solarchos barged his way through the
crowd towards the stage. </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh yeah, baby!” called out Tomoe, “Spank that
cat-girl!  Kitty’s been naughty!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You know,” commented Hotaru, “With all that
grooving going on I’m kinda surprised Austin Powers isn’t there.  That looks
like his kinda place.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Groovy, bay-bee!  Yeah!” cried Tomoe.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“What the…?!” shouted Minako, “What’s Rei’s
grandfather doing there?!”  Haruka shrugged.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Are you kidding?” she replied, “The man’s such a
pervert I’d be surprised if he WASN’T there.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Here’s an ugly thought,” said Michiru, “What is
some of her grandfather’s ecchiness actually rubbed off on her?”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh, it has,” replied Jedite, shuddering a little,
“Trust me, it has!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent> </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The scene switched, showing Ryo Saeba’s leering face
as they slowly but surely pulled the fine-looking cat-girl towards them…then he
facefaulted as he turned to see Solarchos pointing his pistol right at his
face.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Let her go right now!” ordered Solarchos.  Ryo and
Maze quickly complied.  Rei’s grandfather, however, leapt onto the stage and
glomped Shaldra’s leg.  The cat-girl staggered back, lost her balance, and
tumbled right off the stage…</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Right into the arms of Solarchos.  He blushed
big-time as he caught Shaldra.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Huh?” yelped Shaldra as she quickly looked around,
realizing what had happened.  Then she looked at Solarchos.  “My hero!  Thanks,
Solar!”  Solarchos just nodded weakly and continued to bleed from his nose.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Rei’s grandfather, however, laughed pervertedly and
continued to glomp Shaldra’s leg.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Get offa Shaldra, you freak!” shouted Seiya as she and
the rest of the SporeHunters rushed over.  With a huge whack, Jup.Knight nailed
Rei’s grandfather with his bat, sending the midget-pervert catapulting over the
crowds…where he landed in the middle of the Naughty Tentacle Obstacle Course. 
He didn’t last long after that.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>On top of the light-rigging Rikkuo held up a
scorecard – 9.7  Paine held up a second card – 9.6   Next to Paine Happosai
held up…Paine’s panties. </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Hold it right there!” called out an authoritative
voice that was easily heard over the crowds and music.  Standing before the
SporeHunters was a tall, gorgeously well-endowed girl with lots of red-hair, a
skimpy AD Police uniform, and barcodes on her arms and forehead.  Her violet
eyes flashed angrily as she saw the weapons the SporeHunters carried.  Arrayed
on her sides were the numerous Black Delmos and Minnie-May Hopkins.  All of
them were smirking. </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“WHOA!!!  She’s a babe!!” screamed Tomoe as he
stared at the red-head’s huge, giggling bosoms which put Naga’s and Kaorinite’s
to shame, “Come to papa!!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Damn!!” cried Jedite, “She makes Rei.bot look like
nothing!  Forget you, Rei.bot.”  Rei.bot just smirked a little…and gave him the
finger.  Haruka just stared silently at the scene, her head tilting slightly.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh great,” grumbled Hotaru, “I think Haruka-poppa’s
brain is gone.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I can fix that!” snarled Michiru.  The echo created
by Michiru’s hand connecting with Haruka’s face seemed to last forever…as did
Haruka’s agonized scream.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent> </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh, hi Pandemonium,” said Shaldra, waving
nervously.  Wolfwood, Adam, and Jup.Knight all gawked at the girl.  Or rather,
her huge…tracts of land.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You got in here with unlicensed weapons AND without
submitting to a standard administrative search!” declared Pandemonium, “And you
all look like suspicious otaku, too!  Naughty tentacles of justice…DEPLOY!” 
Adam, Seiya, Shaldra, Wolfwood, and Jup.Knight all stared in horror are long
mechanical tentacles extended out of the short sleeves of Pandemonium’s
outfit.  She took one step forward…and froze as a scintillating orange
laser-dot focused on her forehead.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>C-Pov – a few feet next to Solarchos as he aimed his
new rifle directly at Pandemonium’s head.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“All right, you Sexaroid Hyperboomer bimbo,” he
stated, “This thing fires 20mm, rocket-propelled, fin-stabilized, shaped-charge,
mass-reactive, high-explosive, armor-piercing, depleted-uranium rounds and will
crack open that titanium skull of yours like a frelling *cantelope *!!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Wow, he got all that in one breath,” remarked
Haruka.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Impressive,” added Jedite.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Pandemonium’s brow twitched a little as Solarchos
aimed down at her chest.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Now, retract those tentacles of yours and back
off,” ordered Solarchos.  By now the other SporeHunters had their guns out and
were aiming at the Black Delmos closing in around them.  Just then the Delmos
were pulled aside by a group of rather mismatched people – an angry-looking Elf
girl with a big-@$$ spatula for a weapon, a guy that looked like a red-haired
version of Gourry from “Slayers”, a girl in a rather tight-fitting red one-piece
bikini with lavender hair and a nasty smirk ( she looked a little like Ryozaki
Umi from “Magic Knights Rayearth” ), a guy that looked like Trunks from
“DBZ”…only he was wearing a sailor fuku, and a guy that looked a little bit
like Duo Maxwell from “Gundam Wing” brandishing a katana.  Pandemonium smiled
as she noticed the newcomers.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Who are these guys?” asked Wolfwood.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“The Fanboys,” replied Solarchos, “Some of them, at
least.  They’re animefans just like us and Planet Hentai’s their place.  I
can’t believe Morrigan actually led us here!”  Suddenly a voice boomed out over
the music.  Silence filled Planet Hentai a moment later.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Quelle bonne surprise, n’est pas?” called out a
girl’s voice from the shadows of one of the upper floors, “Who would’ve guessed
we’d finally be able to meet in a place like this.  Tell me, how many bullets
are there in your guns?  I don’t know, but I don’t think you have enough.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I’d like to know what kinda gun that is,” asked the
Fanboy who looked like Duo, motioning towards Solarchos’ rifle, “That thing
looks cool!”  Pandemonium thwapped him…hard.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Shaddup, Carnage!” she snapped.  Shaldra followed
up by kicking him in the shin.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“We’re not here to fight you,” called back
Solarchos.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh, I’m sure you’re not,” replied the girl from above,
“But you’ve certainly fought through hell to get here, haven’t you?  I’ll tell
you what I’ll do.  Put down your weapons and I’ll grant you safe passage
through Planet Hentai.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“For all of us?” asked Jup.Knight.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh yes,” replied the girl, giggling a little, “Yes,
of course!”  The SporeHunters glanced at Solarchos, who reluctantly reslung his
rifle onto his shoulder.  The others followed suit.  The Fanboys and the Black
Delmos closed in around them and started herding them all up the nearest flight
of stairs to the balcony above.  Shaldra followed and the party continued as if
nothing had happened.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“All right, a little Matrix stuff going on,”
commented Haruka.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“So who’s running that place?  A perved-out version
of the French guy?” asked Michiru.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Maybe it’s a perved-out version of Neo?” offered
Minako.  Jedite and Tomoe burst out laughing.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Whoa,” intoned Rei.bot.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I know poon-tang!” added Tomoe.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The SporeHunters reached the top of the stairs and
were quickly brought before a rather well-appointed booth.  Seated in between
Sophia from “Battle Arena Toshinden” and Megumi Amano was a girl who looked
strikingly like Rei Hino.  Standing off to the side was the “Golden Boy”
himself, Kintaro.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Meanwhile, at home, the Suburban Senshi all
face-faulted big time when they saw the girl.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“No!” exclaimed Minako, shaking her head back and
forth in total disbelief, “No!  That’s not true!  That’s impossible!” </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“That CAN’T be Rei Hino!  It just can’t be!” added
Michiru.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Search your feelings!  You know it to be true!” stated
Jedite, ominously ( a la Darth Vader ).  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Noooooooooo!” wailed Minako.  Hotaru squinted at
the TV.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“That looks more like the female Maze instead of Rei
Hino,” she called out, “Or maybe a really ecchi Slyphielle?”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The girl smiled broadly as the SporeHunters were
brought to her.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Havoc,” said Solarchos, nodding slightly.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Who’s that?” asked Wolfwood.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Lord Havoc,” replied Shaldra, “The owner of Planet
Hentai.  The Hentenno, the epitome of ecchi, the Fuhrer of fanservice, and the
Mister Thang of the almighty poon-tang.  He’s the boss here.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“He?” asked Adam, “But all I see is a Rei Hino
lookalike sitting there.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Are you saying…?” began Seiya.  Shaldra sighed and
nodded.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yup,” she explained, “Havoc’s a guy by day but a
girl by night.  He’s apparently been like that ever since he stole the cursed
panties of Torajima from “Dragon Pink”.  Bottom line, he’s got a gender-bender
curse on him.”  The SporeHunters all face-faulted.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Aha, here he is at last,” began Lord ( er, Lady )
Havoc, “Solarchos. L’ange sans ailes si beau qu’il me fait souffrir!” 
Solarchos brow-twitched a little.  “I have heard so much, you all honor me. 
Please, sit, join us.”  The SporeHunters all sat down in the chairs and seats
available.  Pandemonium and some of the other Fanboys sat down as well, as did
Minnie-May Hopkins, who was eyeing the SporeHunter’s weapons eagerly.  “You’ve
already met Pandemonium,” continued Havoc, “And over there is my sister
Anarchy…”  She pointed to “Ryuzaki”.  “And my other associates Demolition ( the
red-head Gourry ), Sarcasm ( the surly-looking elven girl ), Carnage, and Chaos
( the fuku-wearing “Trunks” ).  The rest of my circle of friends are
elsewhere.  Apparently, Planet Hentai is just too much for them to handle. 
Something to eat?  Drink?  Fondle?  Grope?”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The SporeHunters sweatdropped a little.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Uhhh…I think we’ll pass,” said Wolfwood.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yes, of course,” replied Havoc as she ran her hand
up Sophia’s thigh, “Who has the time?  Who has time?  But then if we do not
ever take time how can we ever have time?”  She grabbed her glass and took a
sip.  “Chateau Haut-Brion 1959, magnificent wine, I love French wine…”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Uhh…Havoc,” whispered Kintaro, “That’s cherry
Coke.”  Havoc ignored him.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I love the French language, fantastic language,
especially to curse with.  Nom de Dieu de putain de bordel de merde de
saloperie de connard d’encule de ta mere!  You see, it’s like wiping your butt
with a schoolgirl’s silk panties.  I love it!”  By now EVERYONE was
sweatdropping a little.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You know why we’re here,” said Solarchos.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh yes,” replied Havoc, “The great Sporehunt!  It’s
been the talk of the whole town for a while now.  But that is not a reason,
that is not a “why”.  The Sporehunt itself, its very nature, is a means, not an
end, and so, to look for them is to be looking for a means to do…what?”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Uhhh…to beat the everloving sh!t out of Chibiusa?”
offered Jup.Knight.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yeah, that’s kinda what I figure this is all
about,” added Shaldra.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Havoc-bro,” began Anarchy, “What the f#^% are you
talking about?”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I think you need to take those panties off your
head so you can listen to what you’re saying,” added Sarcasm, “You sound like a
complete idiot.”  Havoc wasn’t paying attention.  She leaned out across
Megumi’s lap and stared over the balcony railing out onto the dance floor
below.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>C-Pov – the camera focused on and zoomed in on none
other than Mihoshi herself.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“BANG!!!” shouted Hotaru, “Sniper rifle bullet
through the skull!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“We wish,” sighed Jedite, “Oh, how we wish.”  Haruka
suddenly began to get excited.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh yeah,” she began, “Oh yeah!  This is it!  This
is it!  Here come…the PIE!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Look there,” began Havoc, pointing at Mihoshi as
she gorged herself in the restaurant section, “Kami-sama look at her. 
Affecting everyone around her, so obvious, so bourgeois, so boring…”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“So clumsy…so mindless,” commented Jedite.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Just like Neo Queen Serenity!” added Tomoe.  Hotaru
and Minako nodded in agreement.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“But wait,” continued Havoc, “Watch.  You see, I
have sent her dessert, a very special dessert.”  Mihoshi perked up as one of
the Variable Geo waitresses brought her a big piece of chocolate mousse pie
which Mihoshi promptly proceeded to devour.  “I had it done up myself.  It
starts so simply, each ingredient creating a new effect, just like poetry.”  By
now Mihoshi looked like she was feeling something strange inside her.  “First a
rush…heat…her heart flutters.  You can all see it, yes?  She does not
understand why.  Is it the soda?  No.  What is it then, what is the reason…?”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“It the PIE!” cried Haruka, “It’s all about the PIE!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Ugh, you and your obsession with that movie…”
groaned Michiru.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“And soon it does not matter,” continued Havoc’s
narrative while Mihoshi began to pant and moan, “Soon the why and the reason
are gone and all that matters is the feeling itself.  This is the nature of the
universe.  We struggle against it, we fight to deny it, but it is of course
pretense, it is a lie.  Beneath our poised appearance the truth is…”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Mihoshi was moaning loudly by now.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“…we are completely…”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Mihoshi grabbed the edge of the table with both
hands.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“…out…”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Mihoshi tilted her head back.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“…of control.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent> BLAM!!!  Mihoshi’s head exploded like an egg in a
microwave, splattering everyone nearby with bits, pieces, and lots of blond
hair ( but not much brain-matter…MYSTERY SOLVED! ).  The skateboarding
bunny-girl lost her balance, wiped out, and went head-first into the booth
where Ranma and Akane were having a quiet evening, spilling the drinks she was
carrying all over Ranma and gender-switching him.  Akane was not amused and yet
another bicker-fest began.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Meanwhile, Havoc, Solarchos, and all of the Fanboys
and SporeHunters face-faulted, sweatdropped, and / or browtwitched.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Uhhh…was that *supposed * to happen?” asked
Minnie-May.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Uhhh…not really,” replied Havoc, sheepishly.  Over
the radio Morrigan just laughed hysterically.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”  The Suburban Senshi were
literally rolling on the floor.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I told you!” cried Haruka, “Nothing can beat the
PIE!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I got my wish!” squealed Hotaru, “I got it!  I got
it!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“And there was much rejoicing,” intoned Rei.bot.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Kiyone’s gotta be loving this!” cried Tomoe.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The scene switched, showing Happosai as he sprinted
happily through the halls of Planet Hentai, grinning like an idiot as he hefted
his bag of stealthily-swiped panties.  He paused for a moment to take a look at
his newly-acquired treasures.  He opened the bag…</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>…and was roughly yanked backwards as Chibiusa thrust
a plastic bag over his head and tightened it hard against his throat.  She then
grabbed Nako-Nako by the neck, stabbed Happosai in the side with Nako’s horn,
causing the panty-perv to double over to his side.  Chibiusa then began kicking
his repeatedly in the head.  Three…four…five times.  On the sixth kick she let
go and let him fall lifelessly to the floor.  Then she kicked him a few more
times in the head just to be certain.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh yes!” commented Morrigan over the radio, “You’ve
inspired me, kid!  That was brutal!”  Helios, FishEye, Zoicite, and Nyanko
rushed up.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Hey!” began Nyanko, “That’s the bastard that stole
my panties back there!”  She immediately snatched up Happosai’s bag and started
looking through it.  With a big, sick grin Helios started helping her.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Great, first Ataru and now Happosai,” groaned
Zoicite, “We’re really starting to stack up corpses around here.”  He and
FishEye quickly grabbed Happosai and began dragging him towards the nearest
door to hide the body.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Hey, you’re just jealous ‘cause I’m kicking @$$ and
taking names!” exclaimed Chibiusa, “You just suck!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“We’re supposed to be trying to avoid getting
caught, you pink-haired moron!” snapped FishEye, “We can’t very well do that if
you keep killing every single person we come across!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yeah, what’s next?” said Nyanko as she found her
panties and pulled them back on, “If we run into Chibi-Chibi are you gonna hack
her, too?”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Uh, if we run into Chibi-Chibi in here *I’m * going
to be freaking out,” replied Helios, “Contrary to what you all think there are
some lines even I refuse to cross.”  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Just then all hell broke loose.  Two of the nearby
doors opened almost simultaneously.  Out of one doorway emerged a Black Delmo
girl.  She immediately caught sight of the Spores.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh crap, it’s you b@$tards!” she cried.  She
immediately turned and started running away.  “IT’S THE SPORES!  DO IT TO
HIM!”  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“F%$#!” screamed Helios, “They’re gonna waste
another member of Chibiusa’s family!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yeah, what luck!” said Zoicite.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Not quite,” advised Morrigan over the radio, “I
need to rescue at least one of them if you want to make it out of Planet Hentai
alive.”  NakoNako turned and looked behind her…and facefaulted as she saw the
second door open.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Kakyuu, Starcat, and Leudast walked into the
hallway. </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh f%$#!!” hissed Nyanko.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“It’s them!” called out Leudast.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“The fungus and her cronies!” added Starcat.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Good!” snarled Kakyuu as she cracked her knuckles
in readiness, “Who wants to play soccer with Chibiusa’s severed head?!” 
Zoicite stepped forward.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Hey, fungus,” ordered Zoicite, “You, FishEye, and
the horses go after that Delmo and stop her from taking out another member of
your family.  Nyanko and I will slow down these SporeHunters.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“We will?” asked Nyanko.  She sweatdropped when she
saw the look of barely-restrained madness in Kakyuu’s eyes.  Zoicite smiled,
reached into his pocket, and pulled out a pair of ultra-cool shades which he
slowly and dramatically put on.  While Chibiusa, Helios, FishEye, and NakoNako
rushed down the hall after the fleeing Delmo, Zoicite took a step back, held
out his arm, and gave a silent “come on” gesture.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“What the f^%# are you doing?” demanded Nyanko.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Setting himself up for a seriously humiliating
defeat hopefully,” said Jedite.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh yeah!” commented Haruka, “Now Zoicite’s going to
become the One!” </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“The one what?” asked Minako.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“The one who’s going to make himself look like the
biggest idiot in the third millennium, probably,” stated Michiru.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Doesn’t that “She bang” guy from “American Idol”
already hold that title?” remarked Hotaru.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>There was a loud bang as Starcat leveled her shotgun
and blasted Zoicite with a stun round, sending the Dark former-General flying
backwards.  Nyanko brow-twitched a little.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Well, who didn’t see that one coming a mile away,”
she sighed.  Nyanko stared at Kakyuu and growled.  “All right, you
carrot-topped wimp!  Bring it on!”  Kakyuu smiled wickedly.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh, it’s already brought!” replied Kakyuu, “I’ve
been looking forward to kicking the sh!t out of you, you schmoozing slut!”  As
Zoicite struggled to his feet, Kakyuu and Nyanko charged.  The fight was on.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The scene suddenly cut to black as the DVD player stopped.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“AWWW, F%$#!!!” screamed everyone.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“What the hell happened?!” demanded Michiru, “It was
just getting good!”  Everyone heard a giggle from the kitchen…and slowly turned
to face the source.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Standing near the destroyed remains of the counter
was Setsuna herself, with a smile on her face and the remote in her hand.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“So this is how you people spend your weekends,” she
remarked, “How curious.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Setsuna,” demanded Haruka, “What do you want?” 
Setsuna smiled mysteriously.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Strange events are happening in the future that
could result in disaster here in the present,” replied Setsuna, cryptically,
“Ominous clouds threaten to block the Moon Princesses’ radiance.  We are all
needed in the present to…”  Setsuna was knocked off her feet as Jedite pegged
her in the forehead with an empty beer can.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“SHADDUP!!!” he shouted.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“F%$# the Moon Princess!” screamed Michiru, “We’re
watching Sporehunt!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yeah, so either hand over that remote control or my
foot is going to be mysteriously implanted all the way up your @$$!!” yelled
Hotaru.  Stunned, Setsuna didn’t have a chance as the Suburban Senshi lunged at
her, snatched back the remote, and proceeded to teach her a lesson.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent><i>Will another Tsukino family member go down?</i> 
( Probably )</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent><i>Will Nyanko defeat Kakyuu?</i>  ( Doubt it )</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent><i>Will sanity ever return to Tokyo?</i>  ( Not a
chance! )</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent><i>Will Starcat ever get to have some cookies?</i>  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Find out in the next insanity-packed episode of
Sporehunt!</p>

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=Episode 6=

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<title>T &amp; M Productions, in Association with Xadium Studios</title>

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<p class=MsoTitle>T &amp; M Productions, in Association with Xadium Studios</p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>And the Suburban Senshi Signal Corps</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>Shamelessly Presents…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<h1>Suburban Senshi : Sporehunt</h1>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>Episode 6 : Planet Hentai – Reloaded</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Setsuna
slumped down on the couch, pressing a bloody tissue up against her nose in an
effort to stop the bleeding.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Jeez
Louise!” she exclaimed, “What is up with you people?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We’re
watching Sporehunt so shut the f#$% up!” snapped Haruka.  Setsuna smirked a
little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
already knew that,” she intoned cryptically.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
if you already knew that then you would’ve already known that we’d kick your
ass if you interrupted us,” retorted Jedite.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
knew that,” replied Setsuna.  Michiru then thwapped her upside the head with
her harisen.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“How
about that?!” demanded Michiru, “Did you see *that * coming?!”  She then
whacked Setsuna again.  “How about *that *?!  And *that *! ( whap ) and *that
*! (whap) and *that *!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Whoa! 
We’ve got a mad Michi on the loose!” called out Minako.  Rei.bot quickly
snatched the harisen out of Michiru’s hands and quickly gave her a thwap upside
the head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Behave,”
stated Rei.bot, flatly.  Meanwhile, Tomoe had finished resetting the DVD player
and continued when it had left off.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
Black Delmo dashed through the halls of Planet Hentai, sweatdropping a little
as she heard the distinct sounds of pursuit behind her.  The camera swiveled to
show Chibiusa, Helios, NakoNako, and FishEye chasing after her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!!”
screamed the Delmo, “It’s the Spores!  Do it to him!!”  Over the radio Morrigan
just chuckled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Crow,”
stated Morrigan, “Please eliminate Shingo.  He just got voted off the Planet!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Lead
Crow, Questis, and Chocolat Misu all smiled evilly at Shingo, then began
walking towards him.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“It’s
time, little boy,” said Chocolat as she and the other girls grabbed his chair
and dragged it out into the middle of the room.  Shingo’s eyes bulged and his
nose began to bleed as he got a *good * look down Chocolat’s bikini top.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
know the feeling!” added Haruka, “I’d be doing the same thing if I were in his
position.”  Michiru growled angrily…then Rei.bot quickly reached over and
thwapped Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Arigato!”
replied Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Welcome,”
stated Rei.bot.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No! 
Don’t kill Shingo!” cried Hotaru, “Give him to me!”  She then started blushing
fiercely as she realized her outburst.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes,
that’s it, Hotaru,” urged Jedite, “Give in to your ecchi side!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Shingo
nearly squealed as the three girls began pulling at his clothes.  His
expression became one of pure excitement as Lead Crow leaned over him.  His
hands struggled at the ropes binding him as he desperately tried to free
himself, eager to cop a feel on any of them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Then
the three girls began stuffing carrots into his clothes.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the hell are they doing to him?” asked Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What? 
You mean you don’t know?” retorted Artemis.  Setsuna facefaulted a little…and
Tomoe burst out laughing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Chocolat
and Questis stuffed carrots into Shingo’s clothes until they were close to
bursting while Lead Crow stood near a closed door.  Once they were done,
Questis and Chocolat quickly went over to a punching bag hanging from the
ceiling and picked up baseball bats.  Then Lead Crow opened the door.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Chibiusa,”
announced Morrigan over the radio, “Please say goodbye to Shingo!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Shingo
screamed in terror as a horde of kawaii, ravenous Cabbits surged through the
doorway, bouncing towards him as they all caught the scent of sweet, delectable
carrots.  Meowing happily, the Cabbits quickly buried Shingo while Chocolat and
Questis began beating the crap out of the punching bag with their bats.  Lead Crow
collapsed to the floor laughing as the Cabbits swarmed over Shingo, crawling
underneath his clothes to get at the carrots.  Between Shingo’s muffled screams
of laughter and the clubs smacking the punching bag, it sounded like Shingo was
being beaten to death with sledgehammers.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Chibiusa
heard every moment of it.  After several seconds Morrigan cut the sound off.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
might as well have done the deed yourself, kiddo,” said Morrigan.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!”
screamed the Suburban Senshi as they all burst out laughing.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Death
by Cabbit!” snickered Hotaru, “How cruel!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
but what a way to go!” added Artemis, “C’mon, cabbit-babes, shake those tails!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
I guess that’s better than a tentacle-rape any day,” added Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Except
in the Odango-Atama’s case,” added Tomoe, “They should tentacle-rape her every
single day!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing Zoicite and Nyanko as they ran for their lives from
Leudast, Starcat, and Kakyuu.  A shotgun blast rang out, and part of the wall
next to Zoicite exploded, showering him and Nyanko with plaster dust.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Come
back here and take what’s coming to you!” shouted Kakyuu, “I’ll bite your legs
off!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
exactly why we’re running!” shouted back Nyanko as she kept on running. 
Zoicite, still in pain from getting shot with a stun round, was barely keeping
up.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wait…stop
for a second!” he called out.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Are
you crazy?!” screamed Nyanko, “They’re right behind us!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
can’t keep up!  Those stun bullets hurt like hell!” retorted Zoicite.  Nyanko
skidded to a halt and spun around to face him.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
don’t care!” she screamed, “I don’t wanna get caught by those freaks chasing
us!  You wanna stop that’s your problem, not mine.  And…oh shit!”  Zoicite
turned around…to see Starcat, Leudast, and Kakyuu standing only a few feet
away.  Starcat smiled evilly as she leveled the needle pistol at Zoicite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No! 
Wait!  Can’t we talk this over?!” pleaded Zoicite, “Nyanko!  Help me!”  Starcat
simply smiled and pulled the trigger, putting a tranquilizer dart into
Zoicite’s stomach.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HELL
YEAH!!” shouted the Suburban Senshi.  High-fives were made all around.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>As
Zoicite staggered backwards, Starcat and Leudast both jumped on top of him and
proceeded to pummel him into the floor.  Kakyuu grinned wickedly and charged at
Nyanko.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Aaaaaahhhhh!!”
screamed Nyanko.  She turned to run, but Kakyuu landed right on top of
her…sending both of them tumbling down a flight of stairs, kicked and trading
punches.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right!  Girl fight!” shouted Tomoe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes!”
hissed Jedite, as he started headbanging.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kick
her @$$!” shouted Michi, “Kick it!  Kick it!  Kick it!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>While
Kakyuu and Nyanko tumbled down the stairs, Zoicite was having problems of his
own.  Starcat was busy whaling on him with kidney-punches while Leudast got up,
stepped back, and leapt up into the air, nailing Zoicite with a WWE-style body
slam.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YES!!!”
shrieked Jedite, “Kick his f%$#ing ass!!!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
knew that would happen,” said Setsuna, cryptically.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Forget
about Zoicite,” cried Hotaru, “Hurry up and do that to Chibiusa!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Rolling
Zoicite over onto his stomach, Leudast and Starcat pulled out the cufftape,
grabbed his arms and legs, and proceeded to start triple-hog-tying him.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We’ve
got one!” cried out Starcat, flashing the V-sign at the camera.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hoody-hoo!”
added Leudast.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes!!”
shouted Morrigan over the radio, “Excellent!  That’s 12000 dollars American for
the SporeHunters!  Now just carry him his drugged carcass down the hall over to
room 235, leave him with some of my friends, and we’ll take care of the rest.” 
The last thing Zoicite heard before passing out was the sound of evil laughter.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YES!!”
screamed Jedite again as he started high-fiving everyone in the room, “They
finally caught someone!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“About
time,” remarked Michiru, “I was beginning to wonder.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So
what happens to Zoicite now?” asked Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Medical
experimentation!” exclaimed Tomoe, “I need more test subjects!  Muahahahahaha!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
hope they douse him with gasoline and light his butt on fire,” remarked Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well
if that Morrigan girl has her way it’ll probably involve something really nasty
and ecchi,” said Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Or
a combination of chicken feathers, cod-liver oil, and a very very depraved
walrus,” added Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Scene
switch – the booth were the other SporeHunters were seated with Havoc and some
of the Fanboys.  The SporeHunters suddenly tensed up as they overheard
everything on their radios.  Shaldra looked at Solarchos curiously.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What’s
going on?” she asked.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Starcat
and Leudast have caught Zoicite!” replied Solarchos.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We
got one!” cried Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kickass!”
stated Wolfwood, “Now where’s that f^%$ing horseboy?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Your
people caught one of the Spores?” asked Minnie-May, “Hey!  That’s great!  Good
job!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ah,
so your people have finally captured one of the elusive Spores, have you?”
began Havoc, sipping her drink coyly, “The Spores are in my domain and I see no
reason why I should give them up.  No reason at all.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Say
what?” demanded Jup.Knight.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You’re
trying to jump our bounty, aren’t you?” snapped Adam.  Solarchos sighed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We’ll
make a deal then,” he stated.  Havoc laughed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Always
straight to business, eh Solarchos?” retorted Havoc, coyly, “Okay, I have
something you want.  To make a deal you must have something I want, yes?  And
it so happens there is something I want.  Something I’ve wanted ever since we
first came here.  It is said they cannot be taken, they can only be given.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
those might be?” asked Shaldra.  Havoc smiled at her directly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
panties of Sailor Saturn,” replied Havoc, laughing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”
screamed all of the Suburban Senshi as they burst out into hysterical laughter
once again.  Hotaru wasn’t laughing.  Her face was now bright luminous red and
she was making the mother of all face-faults.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“WHAT??!!”
she screamed in dismay, “Son of a…!!  For the last time I am NOT a f^$%ing sex
symbol!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah!”
added Minako, a little miffed, “What’s she got that I don’t have?!  They should
be worshipping me!”  Hotaru just glared back at her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Meanwhile,
Wolfwood was fuming and the rest of the SporeHunters didn’t look too pleased as
Havoc continued to taunt them.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
have told you before, there’s no escaping the nature of the ecchiverse,”
explained Havoc, “It is that nature that has made you come to me.  Where some
see coincidence, I see consequence.  Where others see chance, I see cost. 
Bring me the panties of Hotaru Tomoe and I will give you back your bounty. 
That seems a particularly fair and reasonable deal to me.  Yes?  No?”  Anarchy
and Minnie-May just shook their heads in abject disgust.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
don’t have time for this sh!t,” snapped Wolfwood.  Suddenly, he whipped out his
Desert Eagle and lunged at Havoc.  Havoc stared up in surprise as Wolfwood
pressed his gun right into her forehead.  Pandemonium deployed her Naughty
Tentacles…then froze as Solarchos aimed his rifle at her chest.  Demolition quickly
pulled out his Sword of Light ( just like Gourry’s ) and prepared to strike at
Wolfwood…but froze as Shaldra quickly sprang forward, bared her claws, and
placed them firmly against his neck.  Seiya aimed his MP5 at Carnage as he
began to pull out his katana.  Minnie-May started to pull the pin on a grenade,
but stopped as Adam leveled his gun at her.  Sophia and Sarcasm both froze as
Jup.Knight whipped out both of his laser pistols and aimed at both girls. 
Anarchy stayed right where she was, Chaos had wandered off, and Kintaro and
Megumi weren’t going to be able to do much.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
want to make a deal?” demanded Wolfwood, “How about this?  You leave Hotaru
Tomoe out of this or we all die right here, right now.”  Havoc brow-twitched.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Interesting
deal,” she replied, “You are really ready to get splooted for that girl?” 
There was a loud click as Wolfwood cocked back the hammer of his gun.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Believe
it,” he stated firmly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
kind of idiot would waste his time on a runt like Hotaru?,” remarked Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cut
with the angst and just shoot someone!” called out Tomoe.  Hotaru growled
angrily, whipped out her glaive, and smacked Jedite and Tomoe in the heads with
the haft of her weapon.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No,”
replied Havoc, “Take your best shot.”  She smiled eagerly.  Without a word,
Wolfwood pulled the trigger…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>P-TOOMPH!!! 
The sound of Wolfwood’s pistol going off was muffled by the huge volumes of
yellowish-white gel which flew in all directions, splattering everyone in the
area.  Everyone was drenched with dozens of gallons of the stuff…except for
Havoc, who was remarkably unharmed.  She brushed off the dress she was wearing
and poured herself another glass of cherry Coke.  Everyone else, Fanboy and
SporeHunter alike, stood right where they were, twitching.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the f^%# was *that *?!” demanded Solarchos.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Never
try to hurt, smite, or otherwise attempt to kill Havoc,” muttered a very messy
Minnie-May Hopkins, “It activates his Cream-Lemon Defensive Field.”  Wolfwood
just stood there, facefaulting, sweatdropping, and completely saturated with
the stuff.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cream…lemon?”
asked Jup.Knight.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Is
this stuff going to affect how the girls see my pumped-up pecks?” asked
Demolition as he ripped off his saturated shirt to show off his chest ( which
no one seemed to notice ).</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
god!!” cried Seiya, “How am I supposed to wash this stuff out of my hair?!” 
Solarchos twitched a little as he felt something start lapping at his neck.  He
looked over to see Shaldra standing right next to him, licking off some of the
Cream Lemon on his neck.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mmmm! 
This stuff tastes kinda good!” she exclaimed.  Solarchos’ nose started bleeding
again as Shaldra continued to lick him clean.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes! 
Yes!” shouted Tomoe, “Be a naughty kitty!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ugh. 
Lick *this *,” grumbled Jedite as he flipped off the screen, “Hurry up and get
back to the fighting.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– from the floor up a flight of stairs.  Nyanko and Kakyuu were currently
tumbling down the stairs, kicking, screaming, and punching each other the whole
time.  Landing with a huge crash at the bottom, Nyanko landed on top of Kakyuu
and got to her feet first.  She barely got two steps before Kakyuu sat up and
lunged at her, wrapping her arms around the fleeing Animamate’s foot.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You’re
not going anywhere!” shouted Kakyuu.  Then she bit Nyanko on the leg.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“MEEOOOOUUCH!!”
screamed Nyanko.  She fell to the ground, rolled over, and kicked Kakyuu in the
face with her other foot.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah! 
Now *this * is what I’m talking about!” cried Jedite.  Everyone cringed as
Kakyuu b!^*hslapped Nyanko viciously.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nice!”
commented Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ouch!”
added Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
gotta admit I do enjoy seeing things like this happen to people like Nyanko,”
stated Hotaru.  Tomoe, Setsuna, and Artemis just laughed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>A
little further down the hallway, a young teenaged girl with long dark hair and
a gold-colored short-skirted dress peered out from around a corner.  Rie of the
Gold Delmos immediately caught sight of Kakyuu and Nyanko slugging it out in
the hallway.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Sh!t!!”
she shouted into her headset radio, “Bianka!  Saniya!  Toniya!  I’ve spotted
one of the Spores!  Remove the prisoners!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Nyanko
barely heard Morrigan as she began laughing hysterically.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing the inside of Planet Hentai’s kitchen.  Katsumi,
Shampoo, Ukyo were busy cooking up stuff for the ravenous crowds of the nightclub,
Nuku-Nuku was busying pouncing on a mouse, and Bianka, Saniya, and Toniya, the
other three members of the infamous Gold Delmo squad, were pulling Kenji and
Ikoku Tsukino a few inches further apart from each other.  The bound and gagged
father and mother stared nervously at the three girls.  All three Delmos smiled
wickedly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Bianka…”
ordered Morrigan over the radio, “Commence.”  Bianka smiled even more.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the
selfish, and the tyranny of evil men,” she began, walking back and forth a
little while Saniya and Toniya walked around to the sides, “Blessed is he who
in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of
darkness!  For he is truly his brother’s keeper…and the finder of lost
children.”  Bianka stopped smiling and glared at Usagi’s parents.  “And I will
strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger…those who attempt
to poison and destroy my brothers!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Kenji
and Ikoku started sweat-dropping big-time.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
you will know my name is the Lord!” shouted Bianka, “WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE ON
THEE!”  The three Gold Delmos whipped out guns and aimed at Usagi’s terrified
parents.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– the front of the horrified faces of FishEye, Helios, NakoNako, and Chibiusa
as they heard everything over the radio.  Chibiusa heard the muffled shrieks of
Ikoku…which were completely drowned out a moment later by two pistols and a
submachine gun being emptied into both of them.  Then…silence as the signal was
cut off.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
can thank Tin-Tin for that one, kid!” commented Morrigan, snickering.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi…”
gasped NakoNako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ezekiel
25-17,” whispered Helios in awe, “Now THAT’S some messed-up sh!t!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“F%$#
you, Morrigan!” screamed Chibiusa, “I swear I’m gonna kill your skanky @$$ dead
for this!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Big
words for a pink-haired runt like you,” retorted Morrigan over the radio, “Now
hurry up.  You’ve got ONE member of your family left.  Otherwise, you’re stuck
here.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– overhead shot of Ikoku and Shinji Tsukino as they laid on their backs,
twitching in pain from the dozens of paint-ball bullets which had exploded all
over their bodies.  Locking the door behind her, Rie joined the rest of the
Gold Delmos in downing some Sapuros in celebration of their latest “kill”.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched again, showing the Cream-Lemon-drenched SporeHunters and Fanboys
as they tried to clean themselves off…without much luck.  Sarcasm snarled
angrily as she saw the condition of her long, dark hair.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Havoc! 
You jerk!” she snapped, whipping out a huge spatula ( a la Ukyo ) and swung it
at Havoc from behind.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No! 
Don’t!” screamed Anarchy. SPLOOT!!!  Everyone froze as a huge blast of fresh
Cream Lemon drenched them all.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh…son
of a…” sighed Solarchos.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Not
again…” grumbled Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ugh! 
I think some of that stuff went right inside my ears!” cried Shaldra.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Do
you HAVE to do that?!” demanded Jup.Knight.  Havoc, who was still as clean as
can be, just smiled.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Just
HOW the hell is she doing that anyway?” demanded Seiya, “Where’s it coming
from?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Someone
asked me that a long time ago,” replied Pandemonium as she scooped out a huge
handful of the glop from the inside of her shirt top, “You know what I told
them?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
ask?” offered Wolfwood.  Pandemonium pointed at him and nodded.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Bingo.” 
Anarchy stood up, tightly holding on to the side of her chair to avoid
slipping.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
new deal!” she called out, “Since you SporeHunters are on our turf, any Spores
you catch here in Planet Hentai we get half of the bounty.  Fair enough?&quot;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Deal,”
agreed Solarchos.  Before anyone could do anything else, the music downstairs
died.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“CHIBIUSA
TSUKINO!!!” screamed a voice from the main entrance, speaking in perfect
Japanese ( which was subtitled for the viewing audience in the Senshi den ),
“YOU AND I HAVE UNFINISHED BUSINESS!!!”  The camera focused in on Lord Chaos,
who was standing near the doorway with a bloody nose, a frilly fuku, and a
nervous expression.  Standing behind him, holding a large, broad-bladed sword
was…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Holy
crap!  It’s Uma Thurman from “Kill Bill”!” exclaimed Minako.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uh…no…it’s…”
began Michiru as the camera angle turned slightly.  Then they all groaned.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“It’s
Excel again,” grumbled Haruka, “Sh!t.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Not
Excel!” cried Setsuna, “Son of a b!^*h I hate her!”  Jedite smirked.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Funny,
I thought you would’ve known she’d be popping up again,” he remarked
sarcastically.  Setsuna flipped him off.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>With
a loud giggle, Excel pulled her sword and swung it as hard as she could, its
blade biting deeply into…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>…Chaos’
right buttcheek.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“KYAAAAAAAAA!!!”
screamed Chaos as he immediately fell to the floor, writhing and kicking,
instantly going into super-deformed big-head mode in his agony,
“JO’O-SAMAAAAA!!!  JO’O-SAAAAMAAAAAA!!!  JO’O-SAAAMAAAAAAA!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
my goddess!!” cried Shaldra, cringing a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ah,
no big loss,” said Carnage, “Chaos gets smited like that at least two or three
times a day.  He’ll be fine.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Excel
stepped over the freaking-out Chaos and slowly made her way into Planet Hentai,
her sword held before her, stained in Fanboy blood ( although it’s been debated
whether Chaos’ blood really counts as such ).</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
is that sword she’s got?” asked Sophitia, “Is that a Hatori Hanzo blade?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No,
it’s a Baka Yoshi knock-off,” replied Adam.  Just then, things got even
weirder.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– the feet of a man quickly running through the halls.  Suddenly, a tall, bald
Japanese man wearing a black suit, a Kato mask, and carrying a long staff burst
through one of the doors.  The camera did an immediate extreme close-up of his
face.  Johnny Go kiaied loudly.  Moments later dozens of men ( and a few women
) dressed in black suits and Kato masks, nearly all of them armed with katanas,
began rushing into Planet Hentai.  They poured through the front doors, the
side doors, the bathrooms ( both men’s AND women’s ), and several rappelled
down from the ceiling through the skylights.  The SporeHunters and Fanboys all
brow-twitched.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?!”
exclaimed Hotaru, “The Crazy 88’s are in this, too?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
hell yes!” cried Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
gratuitous hackfest will now begin!” added Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So
who are these Lazy 88 guys, anyway?” asked Minako, “I don’t think I’ve seen
“Fill Bill”.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
CRAZY 88’s,” corrected Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
the movie’s called “KILL Bill” not “FILL Bill”,” retorted Haruka, “Don’t ever
confuse Quentin Tarantino’s great masterpiece with that f^%$ed-up porn flick
that the Spore subjected us to that one time!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“As
for the Crazy 88’s,” added Tomoe, “They’re soon going to be dead meat!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing Chibiusa, Helios, FishEye, and NakoNako running through
the halls.  Suddenly, they went around a corner…and stopped dead in their
tracks.  Standing at the other end of the passage were a group of Crazy 88’s. 
Screaming like lunatics, the 88’s unsheathed their swords, threw the scabbards
aside, and charged.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Come
on, you f^#%s!!” screamed back Chibiusa as she pulled out a crowbar, “We’ll
take you all on!  Come on!  Lets…!”  She turned around to see NakoNako, Helios,
and FishEye running for their lives.  “Oh!  You backstabbing cockbites!” 
Chibiusa barely avoided getting hacked by a katana and ran like hell.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>With
a maniacal scream, Excel began swinging at everything around her, hitting one
of the Crazy 88’s and lopping his head off.  As the decapitated 88 staggered
around for a few seconds, spewing blood from his neck like a geyser, Havoc
watched all of this and brow-twitched angrily.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Rip
those bastards apart!!” she screamed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Let
the Happy Hour @$$kicking begin!!” shouted Anarchy, gleefully.  Demolition,
Carnage, and Sarcasm pulled out their weapons, and Pandemonium grinned wickedly
as she extended her tentacles again.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dinner
is served!” she hissed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
does it!” shouted Morrigan over the radio, “SporeHunters, I have officially had
enough of that brain-dead loon!  Excel is now one of your targets.  $12000
dollars alive…$24000 dollars DEAD!  Oh…and $200 dollars for every dead Crazy 88
and Puchuu, too.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HOODY-HOO!!!”
shrieked the SporeHunters as they finished cleaning off their guns and began
shooting.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
f#%$ yeah!!” screamed Haruka, “Now Excel’s being hunted, too!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kill
her!” shouted Michiru, “Kill her stupid @$$ dead!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yakuza
hunting season is now open!” called out Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
want a hunting licence!” cried Tomoe, “I want to join in!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
and me both,” added Setsuna, smiling eagerly as the carnage began.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Guns
began blazing, the background music ( “N.W.O.” by Ministry ) began playing,
Excel continued hacking, and Crazy 88’s and Puchuus began dropping like flies
as SporeHunter, Fanboy, Black Delmo, and even the customers of Planet Hentai
began to pummel the living tar out of them.  Puchuu’s were scrambling around
all over the place and getting mowed down.  Johnny Go was taken out of the
fight early as a live octopus was hurled right at his face with pin-point
accuracy.  The camera kept snapping back and forth, showing all kinds of scenes
of the carnage.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Solarchos
took aim and fired…the camera showing a slow-motion shot of the rocket firing
from his rifle, sailing through the air, striking a Crazy 88, then the
microrocket exploded, blowing a wide, bloody hole clear through him.  The blood
spray was abundant to say the least.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“DAMN!!!”
screamed the Suburban Senshi.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Awesome!”
shouted Haruka, headbanging.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Shaldra
grabbed Solarchos’ Predator pistol and joined Wolfwood, Jup.Knight, Seiya, and
Adam in blasting away at the Crazy 88’s.  Yakuza began to fall, flailing around
wildly as blood squirted out of the bullet-wounds.  Puchuu’s were getting blown
away as well, with purple blood splattering and freakishly ugly faces
everywhere.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>One
of the Crazy 88’s began freaking out as a Covenant plasma grenade latched onto
the crotch of his pants.  Dropping his sword, he danced around for a second or
so, desperately trying to knock the thing off…then it exploded, sending his
screaming flaming carcass smashing into the ceiling twenty feet overhead.  The
camera swung around to show Minnie-May Hopkins smiling happily and flashing the
V-sign.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey! 
I’m calling foul!” cried Michiru, “I thought Starcat was supposed to be the
official supplier of Covenant plasma grenades!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Who
cares!!” shouted Jedite, “OH MY GODDESS!!  That Anarchy girl just ripped that
88’s head off!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Sh!t! 
Somebody set a Puchuu on fire!” exclaimed Haruka, “Burn, baby, burn!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Whoa!”
shouted Minako, “Lina Inverse just kicked that Crazy 88 in the crotch just like
he was Gourry!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Excel’s
kicking as much ass as the Bride!” cried Tomoe, “Look at those guys squirt! 
It’s beautiful!  It’s just so beautiful!”  Meanwhile, Hotaru grabbed her mouth
and made a mad dash for the sink again, vomiting in disgust…again.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Those
poor, poor Puchuus…” she groaned.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Is
anyone keeping score?” asked Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Sporehunters
: 48…Fanboys : 55…Excel : 20,” stated Rei.bot, “Puchuus and Crazy 88’s : zero</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Haaaiiiiiiil
Ilpalazzo!!” screamed Excel as she swung around in a wide arc, missing a couple
of Crazy 88’s and butchering a Puchuu instead, its cute face instantly
switching into that hideous Nixonesque-expression of theirs.  “Your faithful
Excel has come to claim this den of filth, indiscretion, and ecchiness in the
name of you!  Smash the enemy…!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Freeze
frame of Excel skewering a Crazy 88 through his guts.  The blood spray was
awesome.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Smite
the foe…!!”  Another freeze frame, this time showing Excel chopping a Crazy 88
in half, splitting him like a piece of wood on a chopping block.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“For
Ilpalazzo I bring death!!”  Another freeze frame showed Excel ripping a Puchuu
in half like a telephone book with her bare hands.  Laughing maniacally, Excel
spun around to face her next victim.   Instead, she spun around to face
Wolfwood.</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Wolfwood smacked Excel in the face with his tonfa,
smashing into her nose with a loud crack that was easily heard above the noise
of battle.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ow!”
whined Excel, “That hit my nose!”  She fell to her knees as Wolfwood whacked
her again in the head, following up with a third whack.  Excel looked up at
him…just in time to see him nail her in the face one more time.  “Ouch!” cried
Excel, “You know that really hurts?!”  Wolfwood then began kicking the hell out
of her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hi!
( Whack! ) How ya doing?! ( Whack! ) Enjoying it?! ( Whack! ) I hope so!
(Whack! )” he yelled as he kicked her over and over again in the ribs.  Excel
sprawled to the ground.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ow…”
she groaned.  Wolfwood pulled out his gun and took aim at Excel’s head…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YES!”
shrieked Michiru, “Put a cap in her @$$!  Ohohohohohoho!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Droppin’
plates on yo @$$, beee-otch!!” added Tomoe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing Kakyuu and Nyanko in the middle of a vicious catfight. 
Nyanko pimp-smacked Kakyuu, who retaliated by kicking Nyanko three times in the
guts, followed closely by a Mike Tyson-power punch that sent her flying
backwards through a door.  The door broke off its hinges, and Kakyuu and Nyanko
fell into the auditorium beyond.  Tied to a chair up on the stage was
Mamoru…with Saber Marionettes all around.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!”
cried Lime, “It’s one of them Spores!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Really?”
replied Bloodberry, “Where’s that Chibiusa b!^*h?!  I wanna rip her f&amp;%#ing
head off!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Forget
her for now!” cried Tiger, “Finish off Mamo-dork!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“YEAH!!!” screamed Fiore, waving a lit cigarette
lighter back and forth, “Start the show!  Start the show!”</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YES!!!”
screamed Jedite, “Cape-Boy’s about to get fragged!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Too
bad he won’t actually be killed,” replied Tomoe, “But the emotional scars will
probably last a lifetime!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Nyanko
leapt to her feet and ran down the aisle, screaming.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Get
this psychotic b!^*h offa me!!” she wailed.  Kakyuu staggered to her feet,
pulled out her rifle, and started shooting.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Release
the Hentai Fiends!” cried Cherry.  Lime quickly skipped over to a lever set in
the wall.  Just then, Nyanko stumbled, barely evading the shots Kakyuu were
aiming at her…and struck some arcane machinery sitting behind the curtain…which
immediately began to short out.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oops?”
offered Kakyuu.  Meanwhile, the Saber Marionettes all stared in horror at the
damaged machine and slowly began backing away.</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh sh!t!” gasped Lynx.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“This
is NOT good!” added Baikou.  The machine began to vibrate, making evil-sounding
groans as pressure began to build up inside it.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
idiot!” shrieked Bloodberry, grabbing Kakyuu by the collar, “Do you have any
idea what you’ve done?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey! 
I said oops, didn’t I?” retorted Kakyuu, “What’s the big deal?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
Hentai Containment Unit’s failing!” screamed Panther, “RUN!!!”  The Saber
Marionettes all turned and ran screaming for the door, nearly trampling Kakyuu
in their mad dash to escape.  Nyanko, however, was busy untying Mamoru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Thank
you!” cried Mamoru as Nyanko removed his gag, “They were going to do horrible
things to my body!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Just
shut the f%$# up and run!” snapped Nyanko as she began untying his hands. 
Suddenly, one of the other doors burst open as the rest of the Spores rushed
inside.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mamo-chan!!!”
squealed Chibiusa…and FishEye.  Helios and Nako-Nako just sweatdropped. 
Suddenly, a rather disheveled Kakyuu ( complete with a footprint on her face )
popped up from behind some chairs.  Snickering wickedly, she took aim with her
sniper rifle.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes! 
Yes!  Aim for the Spore!” cried Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kill
her!  Kill her!” chanted Jedite, “Put one through her head!”  Hotaru just
cackled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Everyone
inside the auditorium was knocked to the ground ( except Fiore, who was eagerly
watching everything and munching on popcorn ) by a large explosion.  Kakyuu,
Mamoru, and the Spores all looked up…and sweatdropped big-time.  Floating near
the ceiling were dozens of creatures which looked like the squid-like Sentinel
robots from “The Matrix”…only they were smaller, fully organic instead of
metallic, and had the most perverted gleams in their numerous eyes.  Mamoru
screamed like a little girl as the things dived at them all.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right!” shrieked Tomoe, “Hentai Fiends!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Tentacle-rapes
for everybody!” cried Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhhh…I
don’t think the upcoming scene is going to be suitable for young children,”
commented Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Starcat
and Leudast skidded to a halt and broke out into huge, delighted smiles as they
entered the main area of Planet Hentai.  The fight was still in full swing. 
The camera swung around, first focusing on the cast of Slayers as they
mosh-pitted the HELL out of some Puchuus, then the C-Pov showed Barret Wallace and
Cloud Strife chucking a few Crazy 88’s into the Naughty Tentacle Obstacle
Course, then a cameo appearance by Ozzy Osbourne as he bit the head off a
Puchuu.  Up on stage, preparing to sing, were Kobyashi Excel and Mikago Hyatt.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Sore
wa ai ja naiiiiiiii…!” they sang, “Ai wa sore ja naiiiiiii…!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Meanwhile,
most of the Suburban Senshi were facefaulting.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ozzy!!”
screamed Tomoe, “Maybe he’ll bite Chibiusa’s head off next!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“OMG! 
That’s disgusting!” cried Hotaru, cringing at the sight.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“They’re
singing the “Excel Saga” theme song?!” retorted Artemis, staring at Mikago and
Kobyashi, “In the middle of all THAT?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
entire place must be high on crack or something,” stated Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Just
as Starcat and Leudast were about to happily join the carnage…the Saber
Marionettes all ran by, shrieking in terror as they all dashed for the door,
knocking aside anyone who got in their way.  A moment later Mamoru ran by,
still screaming like a little girl…and missing his pants.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cape-Boy’s
mooning us!” shouted someone.  Quite a few people immediately got sick at the
sight.  It only got worse when Chibiusa flew at Mamoru like a pink cruise
missile and latched onto his legs.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mamo-chan!”
she squealed happily, “Take me!  Take me!”  People immediately began throwing
up.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
sweet god!” screamed Hotaru, “Shame on you Morrigan Aensland!  Have you no
sense of *decency *?!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
rest of the Spores ran screaming into the room, closely followed by an equally
scared Kakyuu.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“They’re
coming!” screamed Nyanko, “They’re coming for us all!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the hell are you talking about, Kakyuu?!” screamed Wolfwood, who was just about
to blow Excel’s head off.  A rumble ran through the floor, then the doors that
the Spores and Kakyuu had come through were ripped out of the wall by the horde
of Hentai Fiends.  Shrieks of terror filled the air as the Hentai Fiends
attacked.  ( New background music : the “Battle of Zion” theme from the “Matrix
– Revolutions” movie. )</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Haruka,
Tomoe, and Jedite all stared at each other for a moment, then began headbanging
wildly as the carnage got taken to a whole new level.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Holy
sh!t!” cried Artemis “This is BRUTAL!!”  Everyone cringed as the Hentai Fiends
started snatching people, entangling them with their tentacles, and proceeded
to…well…use your imaginations.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Six
of those things just tackled Urd!!” cried Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah. 
Who didn’t see that one coming?” added Hotaru, “Hey!  No fair!  Urd’s enjoying
it!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Whoa!”
exclaimed Michiru, “They just brought down that Pandemonium-gal…but are they
tentacle-raping HER or is she tentacle-raping THEM?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Those
Crazy 88’s are getting annihilated!” commented Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Those
Hentai Demons…always get their foes in the…end no matter what,” intoned Rei.bot
with a smirk.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Planet
Hentai was filled with the sounds of massive gunfire, screams, and the lewd
giggling of the Hentai Fiends.  The SporeHunters were blasting away at the
Fiends, but for every one they brought down, another seemed to replace it.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
my goddess!” cried Seiya as she emptied her MP-5’s last clip into a Fiend, then
switched over to her Desert Eagle, “They’ve everywhere!  Game over, man!  Game
over!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Shut
up and keep shooting!” snarled back Solarchos as he fired a burst from his
MA-5B and reloaded.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Those
things just got C-Ko!!” shouted Adam as he reloaded his pistol, “Oh crap…they
just got B-Ko, too!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
there goes A-Ko!!” added Leudast as he blew a hole through a Hentai Fiend with
his shotgun, “This doesn’t look too good!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Look! 
It’s the Spores!” shouted Jup.Knight.  He and Wolfwood immediately began
shooting at Chibiusa and Nako-Nako, but accidentally shot a Fiend instead,
bringing it down.  Mamoru was trying to run for his life, but Chibiusa and
FishEye had both latched onto him.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mamo-chan!! 
Where are you going?!” asked both Chibiusa and FishEye simultaneously.  Mamoru
was just screaming in pure terror, his mind overwhelmed by the horrors he was
witnessing.  Nako-Nako was desperately trying to avoid the bullets and
lecherous tentacles flying all over the place.  Excel was slowly getting to her
feet while Nyanko and Helios were looking for a place to hide.  Everywhere they
looked it was pure madness.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
music stopped as Mikago looked behind her, sweatdropped, then tapped on
Kobyashi’s shoulder.  Kobyashi turned around slowly…then both of the
Excel-Girls were snatched by the Hentai Fiends.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ahhhhh! 
Tentacle-monsters!” cried Mikago Hyatt.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We’re
caught!” screamed Kobyashi Excel.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
scared!!” added Mikago.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
turned on!” concluded Kobyashi.  Then the Hentai Fiends *really * went to town
on them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Excel
began freaking out as slippery, wriggling tentacles wrapped around her arms,
legs, and waist from behind and hoisted her up into the air.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?!”
screamed Excel, “Let go of me, you sick, twisted, perverted defilers of pure
young virgins!!  I am the sole property of Lord Ilpalazzo and I would never
allow myself to be violated in such crude sadistic manner!!  Excel will resist
you with every ounce of strength, every spark of intelligence, every rule of
law, every drop of blood!  You’ll never take me!  Never!  Never!  Never!  (
SHOOMP!!! )  Yes!  Yes!  A little harder please…!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Nyanko
watched in horror as a Field snagged Kaiba Seto from behind and proceeded to
make him “squeal like a pig.”  Helios watched, drooling, as Lina Inverse was
taken down and enjoyed every second of watching the fiery-tempered red-head get
pinned, felt up by tentacles moving underneath her clothes, and then…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>…Helios
froze as he felt tentacles wrap around HIM.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?! 
Wait!!  No!!” screamed Helios as his arms and legs were pulled away from his
body, and he felt the distinct sensation of a wet, gooey tentacle slithering
its way up his pants.  “No!  You’re supposed to be going for schoolgirls!! 
Nyanko!!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Screw
you, pal!” shouted back Nyanko as she ran off, “I don’t wanna be tentacle-raped!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No! 
No!” shrieked Helios, the camera zooming in on his panicked expression, and
then…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>SHOOMP!!! 
Helios burst out into loud Usagi-like wails.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” 
The Suburban Senshi all fell to the floor in hysterical laughter. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes! 
Yes!  Yes!” shrieked Hotaru, tears streaming from her eyes, “That is SO
priceless!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yaoi-boy! 
Yaoi-boy!” chanted Setsuna and Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
SporeHunters watched helplessly as Kinome was tackled by a Fiend and yanked
off-camera.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Damn,”
commented Jup.Knight as he reloaded his laser rifle, “InuYasha’s gonna be
PISSED now!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Who
cares?!  We’re next!” cried Seiya as she fired off the last shots in her Desert
Eagle and switched to her .45. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Shut
up, you freak!” snapped Wolfwood.  He turned slightly and joined Leudast and
Adam in concentrating their fire and blowing away a Hentai Fiend diving towards
them.  Shaldra gulped nervously as the gun she took from Solarchos stopped
firing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
outta shots!” she called out.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
running low, too!” added Adam as he reloaded his pistol with its last clip.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We’re
all gonna get violated!!” screamed Seiya, “I’m too pretty to be
tentacle-raped!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Shut
up!” yelled Kakyuu and Starcat.  Starcat tossed another plasma grenade, hitting
yet another Hentai Fiend.  The Fiend started thrashing around wildly, dove
upwards, then exploded, showering the whole area with Hentai-bits and dozens of
gallons of Cream-Lemon.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Cream-Lemon?!”
demanded Leudast, “What the f%$#?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Havoc
must’ve been in the blast radius!” replied Shaldra.  She looked up at the
balcony overhead to see the Hentenno himself ( or rather, herself ) standing
atop the railing, laughing maniacally.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes! 
Yes!” she screamed at the top of her lungs as Hentai Fiends circled around her,
“Go my pretties!  Go and perv the planet!  This is my world!  MY WORLD!!! 
Muahahahahahahahaha!!”  Sweatdropping a little, Wolfwood grabbed a plasma
grenade off of Starcat, armed it, and threw it at Havoc, latching it onto the
Uber-Perv’s thigh.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>KA-SPLOOT!!! 
Cream-Lemon drenched the walls, ceiling, floor, and everything else in the area
as the plasma grenade detonated.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nice
going, Wolfwood…” grumbled Kakyuu, who was now liberally splatted with the
stuff.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
where’s Solarchos?” cried Shaldra.  Everyone looked around, then they saw him. 
He was running across the dance floor towards the main entrance, shooting a few
Hentai Fiends that angled towards him and gunning down a few more that had
helpless anime-girls pinned ( he deliberately ignored the one “defiling” Helios
).  He then got the hell out of Planet Hentai.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
jerk!” shouted Seiya, “He’s abandoned us all!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
think he’s got the right idea!” called out Wolfwood, “I’m down to one more clip
for my Eagle!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Crap!”
screamed Kakyuu as she struggled with her rifle, “I think I’m jammed!”  Suddenly,
a tentacle lashed forward and wrapped around Starcat’s leg.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yow! 
Get offa me!” shouted Starcat.  Shaldra lunged at the tentacle, extending her
claws.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Leave
her alone, ya freak!” shrieked Shaldra as she started slashing at the thing. 
The Hentai Fiend looked at her…then tossed Starcat aside and dove at her
instead.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?!”
cried Adam, “It’s going after Shaldra!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Of
course!” snapped Leudast, “She’s a catgirl in a school uniform!”  Seiya,
Wolfwood, and Leudast all turned to face Shaldra’s attacker.  Shaldra,
meanwhile, facefaulted big-time as she was quickly immobilized by the Fiend’s
tentacles.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Aw,
crap…THIS IS GONNA SUCK!!!” she wailed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Starcat
hit the ground, sliding several feet across the Cream-Lemon smeared floor.  Her
shotgun flew out of her hands and landed…right next to Chibiusa.  Starcat sat
up and looked around.  FishEye was currently busy having Mamoru give him a
horse-back ride, Nyanko had been backed into a corner by a pair of Fiends,
Helios was in the middle of a serious tentacle-raping…and Chibiusa was pointing
the shotgun right at her face.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Word
up, b!^*h,” snarled Chibiusa, smiling evilly.  She suddenly looked over at the
main doors of the place as she heard the unmistakable sounds of an engine
revving. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– the doors leading out of Planet Hentai.  Suddenly, the doors were blasted
apart as an M12 Warthog drove straight through them, running over numerous
display cases containing Havoc’s hentai memorabilia in the process.  Behind the
wheel was none other than Solarchos.  Grinning wickedly, he drove the Warthog
down the stairs, turning slightly to run over the Fiend tentacle-raping Shampoo
and Ukyo, and skidded to a halt.  Starcat quickly took advantage of the
distraction to punch Chibiusa in the face, spin her around, and kick her
squarely in the ass.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah!”
cheered Haruka, “Kick her ass!  Kick her ass good!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Standing up and leaning over the windshield,
Solarchos brought up his microrocket rifle, took aim through the scope, and
fired.  The C-Pov showed both microrockets shoot across the nightclub and slam
directly into the Hentai Fiend attacking Shaldra.  The Fiend stiffened,
thrashed a little as the gyroslugs exploded inside its body, and flopped over.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Scragged
your @$$!” hissed Solarchos, triumphantly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yay!”
cried Shaldra, “You saved me again!  My hero!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Holy
crap!” called out Rally Vincent, “Is that a sniper-variant Mark-3
Godwyn-pattern Boltgun?  Tell me…you didn’t get that on *this * planet, did
you?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Starcat!”
shouted Solarchos as he kept on shooting at the Fiends, “Get on the chaingun!” 
Starcat quickly scrambled up the stairs and leapt into the back of the
Warthog.  Cackling maniacally, she began blasting away at the Fiends with a
non-stop stream of 20mm caseless bullets at 1200 rpm.  The new background music
kicked in – “Brothers in Arms” from the Halo soundtrack ( also known as the
cool “escape pod falling to Halo” scene-music ).  The rest of the Sporehunters
quickly joined in and, in less than a minute, ALL of the Hentai Fiends were
blown away.  The last one fell at the edge of the Jell-O fighting pit. 
Twitching weakly, bleeding from dozens of wounds, it reached out with its
tentacles to gently caress Shaldra’s tail.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“SON
OF A B!^*H!!” she screamed.  From behind her back she whipped out a large
chainsaw, revved it up, and proceeded to messily butcher the stricken Hentai
Fiend.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Whoa! 
That’s one pissed-off cat-girl!” exclaimed Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kowaii!”
cried Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ain’t
it great?!” said Tomoe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah! 
She’s hacking that thing up like Freddy Kruger!” added Jedite, “It’s awesome! 
Go, kitty, go!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Chibiusa
cautiously looked around.  The slaughtered Fiends were all over the place,
people were slowly staggering to their feet…and the way out of Planet Hentai
was less than twenty feet away.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right,” stated Morrigan over the radio, “You’ve managed to rescue ONE person…I
guess you’re free to go.  Now, get to Excel and bring he with you.  She’s one
of you, now.  Get her and get your loser @$$ to Galaxy TV.  That’s your next
target.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?!”
demanded Nyanko, “We gotta work with Excel now?  This sucks!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Shut
the f%#$ up and do it!” hissed Chibiusa.  FishEye was busy glomping Mamoru,
Nako-Nako was cowering near the stairs, Excel was currently trying to get to
get feet…and falling over every time, and Helios was on the floor, curled up in
a fetal position, sobbing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
am not yaoi…I am not yaoi…I am not yaoi…” he kept whimpering over and over
again.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hurry!”
ordered Chibiusa, “We gotta get outta here before the Sporehunters see us!” 
Chibiusa grabbed the shotgun off the floor, FishEye grabbed Mamoru, Nako-Nako
grabbed her hat ( which was saturated with Cream-Lemon ), and Nyanko pulled
Helios to his feet…and well as pulled out the severed tentacle that was
dangling out of a big hole in the seat of his pants.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
am not yaoi!!” he exclaimed to Nyanko.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
don’t care!” retorted Nyanko, “Just go!  You, too, Excel!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Excel
feels very, very sore,” moaned Excel, “As well as “not-so-fresh”…”  Nyanko
quickly grabbed her off the floor and began dragging her out towards the door.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dude!”
cried Wolfwood, “We thought you’d ditched us!”  Solarchos smiled a bit as he
and Starcat quickly came over.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
situation was getting pretty bad,” he explained, “So I decided to get some
additional firepower.  I figured a Warthog was just what we needed.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nice!”
commented Jup.Knight.  Starcat just grinned insanely, still high from getting
to use the chaingun.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
saved me from getting tentacle-raped!” cried Shaldra, rushing over, “You
rule!”  Solarchos was knocked to the ground as the cat-girl leapt at him and proceeded
to power-glomp him.  Kakyuu just laughed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“At
least I didn’t get tentacle-raped,” sighed Seiya, “Something like that would
destroy my career!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
don’t have a career,” retorted Leudast, “You retired, didn’t you?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
could always make a comeback, you know!” replied Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Meanwhile,
unnoticed by everyone else, the Spores were slowly and carefully making their
way up the stairs towards the exit.  A moment later Adam glanced over his
shoulder and saw them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!”
he cried out, pointing, “There they go!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“F^%#!!!”
screamed the Spores.  They immediately ran towards the exit.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“After
‘em!” shouted Jup.Knight, “Finish ‘em off!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nyanko’s
mine!” screamed Kakyuu.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hold
it!” called out another voice.  The SporeHunters turned around to see the
Fanboys staggering up to them.  Anarchy and Pandemonium were missing most of
their clothes, and what little they had left was dripping with Hentai Fiend
slime.  Demolition, Sarcasm, and Carnage were covered with the blood of
Puchuu’s and Crazy 88’s, Chaos looked like hell…especially since he’d been
“targeted” by a Fiend easy-on, and Havoc was brow-twitching angrily as she
surveyed the damage done to Planet Hentai.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
*this * is a fine state of affairs,” grumbled Sarcasm.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hurting…stop…when?”
whimpered Chaos.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
know, I’d normally be in a really good mood after something like this except
somebody blew up the bar with a plasma grenade,” growled Anarchy, “Somebody
*killed * my sake!  I may cry!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“In
the middle of all the confusion NO ONE noticed my beautiful, buffed body!”
cried Demolition, “I’m insulted!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the hell do you want from us?!” demanded Solarchos, “You got half of Zoicite’s
bounty plus an even-split of the Puchuu and Crazy-88 bounties.  That’s…what? 
About $15000 dollars for both our sides!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Planet
Hentai’s a mess!” screamed Havoc, momentarily going to super-deformed mode,
“It’ll be HOURS before I can reopen the place…!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uh…just
hours?” remarked Shaldra, brow-twitching a little.  Havoc continued.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
demand compensation for my pain and suffering!!” screamed the Hentenno.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
pain and suffering?!” demanded Wolfwood, “Every time YOU got hit you did that
“lemon thing” and splattered everyone with that lemon-flavored Jell-O pudding
sh!t!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey! 
There’s ALWAYS room for Jell-O!” retorted Havoc.  Meanwhile, Solarchos just
sighed and tossed Havoc a set of keys.  They were the ignition keys to the
Warthog he’d driven into Planet Hentai.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“There,”
he told the Fanboys, “I’ll even arrange for you guys to get a full reload of
chaingun ammo.  Deal?”  The Fanboys stared at the keys, then stared at the
Warthog parked near the middle of the dance floor, the lights bathing it with
an almost heavenly glow.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“DEAL!!!”
screamed the Fanboys eagerly.  They immediately rushed over and began dancing
around their new vehicle.  As the did that, the Sporehunters began running
towards the door.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Let’s
finish those b@$^ards off!” stated Solarchos.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Count
me in on that!” added Shaldra.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Some
pink spore is gonna DIE tonight!” snarled Kakyuu.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
forget,” called out Wolfwood, “Horse-boy is all mine!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Deal,”
replied Solarchos as they all dashed through the door.  The scene went black.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<h2>Intermission – Sporehunt will resume in 5 Minutes</h2>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Dammit!” shouted Haruka, “Why’s it keep doing this
intermission sh!t?!  We can always just hit “Pause” or something!”</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Who
cares,” retorted Michiru, “I’ve gotta go to the bathroom.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
not surprised,” said Jedite, “You’ve been downing more beers than Haruka.  I’m
astonished.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
I think you’ve gotta be drunk to be watching this insanity,” replied Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
of a sudden I’ve got this strange craving for Jell-O,” admitted Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Me,
too,” added Hotaru.  All of a sudden Tomoe leapt to his feet and dashed
upstairs, giggling in the most perverted way.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Panties!!”
he squealed, “I must have panties!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
hell?!” cried Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Crap! 
I think the Uber-Perv has infected his mind!” said Artemis, “Planet Hentai
must’ve warped his fragile mind!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh…cat,
that guy’s mind was already warped beyond human comprehension long before we
ever started watching this,” explained Jedite.  Suddenly, Tomoe rushed back
through the room, brushing past Setsuna and running back upstairs, still
giggling.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the…?!” cried Setsuna, “That pervert stole my panties!!!  That b@$^ard’s dead
now!”  Whipping out the Garnet Staff ( or BAK, as some people call it ) Setsuna
took off after Professor Tomoe…and her panties.  Rei.bot sighed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
insanity continues…” she intoned.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>End of Part Six.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Will
the Spores make it to Galaxy TV?  <i>Michiru : “I hope not.”</i></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Will
Mamoru escape from the clutches of FishEye?  <i>Setsuna : “Save him!!!”</i></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>What
fate awaits Zoicite? <i>Jedite : “Heh!  Hopefully something involving his
internal organs, some fava beans, and a nice Chiante!”</i></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Is
there any hope for Chibiusa and her friends?  <i>Hotaru : “Kill them!  Kill them
all!  Let Fek’lahr sort them out!  Muahahahahaha!! </i>( thwap! ) <i> Ow…”</i></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Find
out in the next episode of Suburban Senshi : Sporehunt!</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

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=Episode 7=
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<div class=Section1>

<p class=MsoTitle>T &amp; M Productions, in association with Xadium Studios</p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>And the Suburban Senshi Signal Corps</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>Shamelessly Presents</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<h1>Suburban Senshi : Sporehunt</h1>

<h2>Episode 7 : Chibiusa Overdrive</h2>

<p class=MsoNormal>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Usual legal crap : The following story and its
sequels are works of pure parody and fiction and do not represent actual views,
attitudes, and feelings.  Except in regard to Chibiusa Tsukino who needs to be
summarily executed.  Just about all of the characters portrayed in this are
pretty much the property of someone else.  They know who they are.  I’m not
stealing them; I’m just borrowing them for a little bit.  Imitation and
imagination are the sincerest forms of flattery.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Muahahahahahahaha!!!”
laughed the Professor as he dashed through the living room, closely pursued by
both Setsuna and Minako, who were both intent on taking back the panties that
had stolen from them.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Give
me back my panties!!” shouted Setsuna as she swung at Tomoe’s head with her
staff.  Minako lunged at Tomoe and snatched her panties out of his grip.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No!”
warbled Tomoe, engaging Minako in a tug of war, “My precious!”  rei.bot
immediately leaned forward and thwapped Tomoe across the head twice with a
harisen.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Behave,”
she intoned.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Sit
down and shut up!” shouted Haruka, “It’s about to restart!”  Setsuna snatched back
her panties, quickly put them back on, and sat down as the DVD movie finished
its intermission and continued.  Hotaru just cackled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Squeeeeeeee!!”
she cried.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Scene
– the outside of Planet Hentai.  A tentacle fiend lay twitching and dying on
the sidewalk as dozens of curious schoolboys and girls surrounded it.  One
enterprising guy was poking it with a stick.  Suddenly, the camera panned down
to show the smiling face of Sailor Iron Mouse in her usual pinstripe suit, dark
glasses, and fedora.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“This
is Nezu Chuuko of the Galaxy News Network and I’m here live at Planet Hentai,
covering the hottest thing to hit Tokyo since Godzilla slam-danced the Tokyo
Tower last week…the Sporehunt!” Iron Mouse turned slightly and the camera
followed, showing another person standing next to her.  The girl was lean,
slenderly-built, and looked a little bit like Sailor Mars except that she had
brown eyes and long brown hair.  She wore a blue and white fuku with laced-up
knee-high boots, and had wolf-like ears and a tail.  “I’m here with the
renegade Senshi known as Yinggirl who is, surprisingly, one of the few people
actually protesting Sporehunt!”  Yinggirl was holding a sign that had written
on it “Stop the Sporehunt” in bold black letters.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
just want those Sporehunters to lay off,” explained Yinggirl, “I don’t care as
much about the pink rabbit as I do about Helios.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
horse-boy?” asked Iron Mouse, “I don’t think I understand.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“My powers are derived from the Phoenix Crystal,”
continued Yinggirl, “Which is related to the Dream Crystal that Helios gets his
powers from.  He and I are technically related.  Because of that, and a decree
by Neo-Queen Serenity, any damage or pain that *he * feels…*I * feel!  If he
dies, I die as well!  I mean, for crying out loud, I have no idea what’s going
on in this dang Sporehunt…I wasn’t invited…”  Suddenly, a couple of bats
suddenly fluttered up behind Yinggirl, holding a sign between them that read
“Big, fat liar.”  “…All I do know is that since the Sporehunt began I’m now
covered with bruises, cuts, sprains, and my butt now hurts so badly I don’t
think I’ll be able to sit down for a week!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Meanwhile, the bats fluttered up again, this time
holding a sign that read “Free hot dog-girl lovin’!”  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“So that means she felt Helios getting tentacle-raped?”
began Michiru, “Oooo, that had to seriously suck.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Dude, what’s up with those bats?” asked Haruka.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Maybe they’re Morrigan’s?” offered Artemis.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“That could be,” admitted Minako, “It’d be just like
that succubus to be the french-fry in the ointment.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Fly in the ointment!” shouted Hotaru, “Get a
dictionary!  Jeepers!”  Jedite suddenly perked up a little and pointed at the
TV.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“There they are!” he exclaimed.  Sure enough,
Chibiusa and the rest of the Spores were dashing down the stairs.  The scene
switched over to the Spores.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Let me go!  Let me go!” shouted Excel, “You cannot
kidnap a pretty-pretty, young girl like Excel without invoking the eternal
hatred and wrath of Lord Ilpalazzo!  You cannot break me!  You cannot use me! 
You cannot strip me nekkid and abuse my ripe, young womanly body for your sick
ecchi-ecchi amusement!  Not unless your name is Lord Ilpalazzo!  Haaaaiiiiil…!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Aw, shut up!” cried Nyanko, smacking her upside the
head, “You’re giving me a headache with all that yelling!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I am not yaoi…” whimpered Helios, “I am not yaoi…”</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
offered Nako-Nako, pointing at the Warthog parked across the street.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey! 
Great idea!” replied Fish-Eye as he kept Mamoru in a tight head-lock, “Let’s
grab one of their vehicles and just drive the heck outta this lousy fic!  No
one will be able to stop us!” Fish-Eye suddenly shuddered and yelped as
Morrigan gave him a brief electrical jolt through his collar.  Mamoru just
whimpered weakly, his face red from the pressure FishEye was exerting around
his neck.  Chibiusa ran over to the Warthog and hopped up into the driver’s
seat.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wow! 
Somebody left the keys inside!” she exclaimed, “Let’s go!  I’m driving!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You’re
driving?!” retorted Nyanko, “Your feet can’t even reach the pedals!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
you’re too young to drive,” added Fish-Eye.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey! 
I’m 903 years old!” shouted Chibiusa, “And I’m the princess of Neo-Tokyo!  I
can do whatever I please and if I say I’m driving, I’m driving!  How hard can
it be?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Excel
can drive!” offered Excel, helpfully.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No
you can’t,” retorted Nyanko, “You drove bumper-cars that one time, but you got
stuck in the corner.  Everyone was ramming your @$$.  Even that little girl!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No
they weren’t!” cried Excel, fuming a little, “I’ve driven a real car once!  You
weren’t there.  You were somewhere else.  It was really really cool!” 
Nako-Nako suddenly looked back and squealed in terror : the Sporehunters were
coming.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
s#!t!” cried Chibiusa.  She quickly turned the ignition key while everyone else
got onboard.  However, she was too short to reach the pedals, so Nako-Nako
quickly got underneath the steering wheel and pushed them for her.  With a
deafening screech of tires against asphalt, the Warthog tore out of there,
nearly running over Yinggirl and Iron Mouse in the process.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Rushing
outside, the Sporehunters skidded to a halt and looked around curiously. 
Something had changed.  Something rather important.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dude,
where’s our Warthog?” asked Wolfwood.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You’re
the one who parked it,” retorted Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
left the keys in the ignition?!” exclaimed Jup.Knight, “What the hell were you
thinking?!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What’s
a Warthog?” asked Shaldra, curiously.  Before anyone could answer the sound of
tires screeching could easily be heard.  Everyone looked over to see…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– the rear of a rapidly-retreating Warthog as it barreled down the road, nearly
running over some people in the process as it weaved back and forth slightly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!”
shouted Starcat, “Come back with our Warthog, you bastards!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well
this sucks!” snapped Seiya, “How are we supposed to catch them now?”  Before
Solarchos could even open his mouth, the answer was provided.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>From
behind them came another set of screeching tires as a single white hatch-back
car sped towards them and braked hard, stopping within just a few inches of
them.  The driver’s door opened, and they could all see the black star that was
emblazoned on it.  The Sporehunters gawked in amazement as Eudial of the
Witches 5 poked her head out.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Come
on!  Get in and let’s nail that pink wench!” called out Eudial.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Eudial-kun!!”
cried Professor Tomoe happily as he launched himself at the TV screen.  Rei.bot
quickly reached out and yanked him back onto the couch.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Crap!
Not her!” snapped Minako, “She’s the one who stole my pure heart!”  Jedite
smirked a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
yeah,” he mused, “I’ve heard of her.  You were acting like total dumbass after
that, weren’t you?  She’s also the one who also beat the crap out of Uranus and
Neptune, too.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“She
did not!!” shouted Michiru, “It was all part of an elaborate deception to make
her lower her guard!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
we kicked *her * punk @$$ afterwards!” added Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No
you didn’t,” stated Artemis, “Eudial clobbered both of you.  She was kicking
Senshi butt left and right the whole time.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Not
*my * butt,” remarked Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
‘cause you were always hiding in the rear while Michi and I charged full speed
ahead, kicked @$$, and took names!” called out Haruka, “Then you just stepped
in and took all the credit just like the Odango-ditz!”  Setsuna grinned.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
that’s why Setsuna’s the smart one and you’re the “dumb@$$ diesel dyke”,”
replied Hotaru.  Haruka turned bright red while Jedite burst out laughing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Get
in there with *you *?” demanded Seiya, “I don’t think so, lady!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
no way am I trusting a Sailor Moon villain!” added Adam, “Especially one that
dresses like a Balinese dancer or something.”  Without hesitation, Solarchos
rushed over to Eudial’s car and got in.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
know her,” he explained, “She can be trusted in something like this.  Now let’s
get moving!  The Spores are getting away!”  The Sporehunters quickly packed
themselves into Eudial’s car.  It got crowded really quick.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Solarchos
blushed and nosebled again as Shaldra pressed up next to him in the passenger
seat.  Everyone else was squashed into the back of the car…with predictable
results.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!”
cried Starcat, indignantly, “Stop fondling me, you pervert!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
was reaching for the seat belt!” replied Seiya.  Starcat then smacked her
across the face, knocking her backwards…right into Kakyuu’s chest.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Get
your face outta my boobs!” screamed the red-haired princess as she punched her
squarely in the face.  Wolfwood and Jup.Knight just looked at each other and
shook their heads.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
a f#^ktard,” commented Leudast.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Everybody
in?” asked Eudial.  The Sporehunters barely had a chance to reply before she
stomped her foot on the gas pedal and took down the street, almost running over
Yinggirl and Iron Mouse in the process ( again ).</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– The hijacked Warthog as it came around a sharp corner, skidding right into a
row of parked cars.  Chibiusa didn’t slow down at all.  The background theme
music began playing : “Mona Lisa Overdrive” from the Matrix – Reloaded
soundtrack (also known as the “Big Car Chase” theme from the same movie ).  The
C-Pov switched again, showing a rear-view mirror’s angle of the inside of the
Warthog.  Helios was curled up in the back, mumbling to himself, NakoNako was
operating the pedals, Chibiusa was driving, FishEye and Mamoru were in the back
behind the Spore, and Nyanko and Excel were both squashed into the passenger
seat, and fighting over it.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
had the seat first!” shouted Nyanko.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mine! 
Mine!  Mine!” screamed Excel, “This seat has been claimed in the name of Lord
Ilpalazzo!  You have no legitimate…” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>WHAP!! 
Close-up of Excel’s face as Nyanko b!^@h-slapped her…hard.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HELL
YEAH!!!” screamed the Suburban Senshi.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Go
for it!” cried Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
love it when that happens,” stated Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kill
her!  Kill her!  Kill her!” chanted Jedite, Haruka, and Tomoe simultaneously.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Excel’s
face slammed into the dashboard, popping open the glove compartment.  Inside
was a Glock-17 pistol with an extended clip and a cellphone.  The cellphone
fell out, landed in her hand, popped open ( Matrix-style ) and began ringing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Operator…”
announced the girl on the other end of the line.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hello? 
This is Excel Excel.  I’d like to order four large pepperoni and sushi pizzas
please!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Scene-switch
– Sitting in a chair at a rather sophisticated telecommunications console was
none other than Sailor Aluminum Siren.  Affixed to the collar of her “lingerie”
outfit was a Sporehunt button and an Excel plushie sat nearby…with about a
dozen knitting needles stuck through it like a voodoo doll.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhhh,
I’m not that kind of operator,” replied Siren, browtwitching a little, “My name
is Aya Reiko and you’ve reached the Sporehunt Emergency Hotline.  Is there a
Sporehunt-related emergency that I can assist you with?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Meanwhile,
at home, Hotaru snickered a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
crap, this is going to get bad really quick!” she called out.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Those
Animamates are gonna be getting some payback for sure!” added Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Give
that naughty, naughty kitty-chan to me!” cried Tomoe, “I wanna punish her…by
making her play Twister!  Muahahahahahaha!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Nyanko
snatched the phone out of Excel’s hand and started talking.  Back in the
Sub-Sen’s den the TV screen did one of those split-screen effects, showing both
the talker ( Nyanko ) and Siren at the same time.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
we’ve got an emergency!” she yelled into the phone, causing Siren’s hair to
blow backwards with the force of her screaming, “Get me the f%$# outta this
s#^t!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
hello there, Nyanko-san!” replied Siren, sweetly, “How nice to hear your voice
again.  How are you doing?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“How
am I doing?!” retorted Nyanko, “I’m in the middle of some sick, twisted
nightmare that just keeps getting worse, that’s what!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
so sorry to hear that, Nyanko-san,” replied Siren, breaking out into a huge,
nasty grin, “Now, you do have a Sporehunt-related emergency, do you?  If not,
I’ll have to…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
hang up!!” shouted Nyanko, “We need to get to Galaxy TV fast!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oooo,
that won’t be easy,” replied Siren, “You’re in downtown Tokyo.  The only direct
route near you is the Winslow Overpass off the freeway.  I think I should
suggest…oh dear, watch out behind you.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Huh?”
replied Nyanko, confused, “What are you…”  Suddenly, there was a huge, loud
crash as they were rammed from behind.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– a sideways close-up of the rear of the Warthog as a white Ford Bronco rammed
it at high speed, lifting the rear of the Warthog a couple inches off the
ground for a moment.  The Warthog swerved all over the road as Chibiusa
struggled to regain control.  Mamoru was screaming like a little girl the whole
time.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dude! 
O.J. Simpson’s joined the cast!” yelled Haruka, “It’s him!  That’s his Bronco!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
not O.J. you dork!” retorted Jedite, “What would that guy be doing over here in
Japan anyway?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“O.J.
was framed, I tell you!” continued Haruka, grabbing Jedite by the throat and
shaking him back and forth a few times, “Framed, framed, framed!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Whoa,
look out!” cried Artemis, pointing at the screen.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
sunroof of the Ford Bronco slid open and yet another of the Witches 5 popped
out.  The blue-haired witch-twin Cyprine smiled wickedly as she leaned out,
then took aim with a loaded AK-47 assault rifle and opened fire.  Her sister,
Pikurol, just laughed and kept on driving.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Bullets
began to ricochet and explode against the Warthog, a few of them barely missing
the Spores.  FishEye let out a huge girly scream and ducked for cover in
Helios’ lap.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
AM NOT YAOI!!!” shrieked Helios as he shoved FishEye away violently.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes
you are!” called out Hotaru, “Oh yes you are!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yup,
he’s gay,” added Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Totally
gay,” commented Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Liberache
gay!” added Tomoe, “Muahahahahahahaha!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hold
on!” shouted Chibiusa as she spun the steering wheel.  The Warthog turned
sharply and nearly spun out as it ran through the red light of a busy
intersection.  NakoNako’s pedal-pushing skills were less than deficient as she
failed to do anything.  With a gigantic crash, Chibiusa plowed the Warthog
straight through the side of Akio Ohtori’s prized red Stingray convertible,
tearing the entire rear end off.  She kept on driving, weaving back and forth
across the road as the Witch-Twin’s Bronco pursued closely.  Cyprine kept on shooting.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Holy
s#!t!!” cried Excel.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
else could go wrong?!” added FishEye.  Suddenly, several more vehicles came
onto the main road from side streets and began pursing the Warthog.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
dear,” reported Siren as she started eating a bowl of ramen, “There’s an
all-points bulletin out of you now.  Additional bounty hunters are on their
way.  Turn right now.”  Hearing the orders over her headset, Chibiusa turned
the Warthog…and plowed over a mailbox ( sending letters exploding everywhere ),
straight through a noodle shop, across a small park, and straight towards a
Hispanic man wearing a construction hat.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
screamed Pedro at the top of his lungs.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>*WHAM!!!
*  Chibiusa ran him over and kept going.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
my goddess!!” cried Minako, “They killed Pedro!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
bastards!” shouted Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“As
if we didn’t see that one coming a mile away,” remarked Setsuna.  Tomoe just
laughed insanely.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
was beautiful!” he wailed, “My tears of joy are falling from my eyes like twin
waterfalls!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>As
the Spore’s Warthog drove through the park and over Pedro, the Witches’ Bronco,
a non-descript black car, a Tokyo police car, and a blue Ford GT500 continued
to pursue closely.  Pikurol smirked as they bounced a little on Pedro while
Cyprine kept on shooting.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Now,
after this next intersection take the connecting tunnel to the 101,” advised
Siren as she leaned back and continued to devour her ramen noodles. “You got
it?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh…”
whimpered Nyanko as a bullet punched through part of her hair-do, nearly
ripping her leather cap off, “I guess…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Are
you sure about this?” continued Siren, “I mean it’s dangerous!  In all my
fourteen minutes of operating I've never…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Just
shut up, will ya??!!” screamed Chibiusa as the Ford Bronco rammed them again. 
Siren browtwitched a little and swallowed a mouthful of ramen.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay!”
she beamed, “Winslow Overpass it is!  Have fun!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing the crowded interior of Eudial’s car as everyone was
thrown to one side as Eudial made a hard-bank turn.  Solarchos’ nose bled some
more as the sharp turn caused him to press up against Shaldra, who merely
winked and licked off a bit of cream-lemon that was still on his cheek.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
hope you were using turn signals back there!” cried Wolfwood.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
need some more bullets!” called out Adam, “I used practically everything I had
back at Planet Hentai!”  Eudial tossed a small bag into the back seat.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Here,”
she announced as the car lurched and bounced heavily, “I’ve got a couple boxes
of 9mm and 12-gauge in there.”  Almost everyone dove on the purse and began
rummaging through it, eager to get at the bullets and shotgun shells.  “Also, I
got something for the cat-girl underneath the seat.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Really?”
asked Shaldra, “What?”  Eudial smiled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“An
official Sporehunter care package!” replied the red witch as she put the car
through another hard turn, nearly running over Akio Ohtori in the process. 
Shaldra quickly ripped open the package, finding the usual gear ( some cash,
flashlight, cufftape, equipment harness, etc. ) and her personal gift from Morrigan
: a rather nice-looking katana.  It wasn’t a Hatori Hanzo blade, and it wasn’t
anything special or ancient, but it was still well-made and very effective
looking.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Whoot!”
cried Shaldra, “I like!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Very
nice,” commented Wolfwood as he reloaded his Desert Eagle. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Morrigan,”
began Solarchos, talking into his headset radio, “We’re in pursuit of the
Spores.  What’s their current status?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene shifted, showing the Spore’s Warthog roaring up the street towards the
camera with their pursuers following close behind.  The scene then went into
slow motion, showing Cyprine still blasting away at the Warthog while Tin
Nyanko was leaning out the side window and shooting back at the Bronco.  The
black car, the Tokyo police cruiser, and the GT-500 were closing the distance. 
Then everything went back to normal speed and all the cars screeched by.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Their
current status?” replied Morrigan, “Bad and getting worse.  The word’s out
about them.  Other people are joining the Sporehunt.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Aww,
no!!” cried Adam, “Bounty-jumpers?!  That sucks!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Where
are they now?” asked Solarchos.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Just
follow the trail of destruction,” said Morrigan, “Chibiusa’s sure making a
whole lot of it!”  All of the Sporehunters suddenly stared ahead in horror as
Eudial drove through the remains of a noodle shop, across a small park, and
straight towards Pedro...again.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Noooooooooooo…!!!”
shrieked Pedro.  Extreme close-up of his face, then…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>WHAM!!!</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!”
screamed everyone in the Suburban Senshi’s den as they all fell over in
hysterical laughter.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
got my wish!” cried Tomoe, “I wanted to see that again and I did! 
Muahahahahahahahaha!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Beautiful!”
sighed Hotaru, “Absolutely beautiful!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Cyprine
finished reloading and resumed shooting at the Warthog as they burst out onto
the highway.  Chibiusa was still weaving all over the road, causing quite a few
minor accidents in the process.  In contrast, Pikurol was doing a fine job of
staying on the Warthog’s tail.  Nyanko fired off a couple more shots at the
Bronco and ducked back inside the Warthog to reload.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Waaaaaaahhhhhhh!”
wailed Mamoru, “Just let me go!!”  FishEye quickly hugged Mamoru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
worry Mamo-chan!” he called out, “I’ll protect you!”  This just made Maroru
wail twice as loud.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
am not yaoi!!!” whimpered Helios.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
called out NakoNako, “Kupi-kupi?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Bastard
drivers!!” screamed Chibiusa, “Get the f#$% outta my way!  When I become queen
I’ll make sure I put a cap in all your asses!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“They’re
shooting at us!” cried Excel, “They must be very, very upset at us if they’re
doing that!  Someone could get hurt!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
think?!” screamed Nyanko just as two more non-descript black cars suddenly
joined the chase.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Scene-switch
to the inside of one of the new cars.  Inside were none other than Misaki
Matsuya and Sumiyoshi Daimaru from “Excel Saga”, wearing dark business outfits
and cool black shades.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We
have them in sight,” stated Misaki.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
Excel is our primary target,” came Sumiyoshi’s reply, which consisted of only
kanji at the bottom of the screen.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Hotaru
burst out laughing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ahh! 
This just keeps getting better and better!” she called out, “Throw your life
away…for justice!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Get
your hands off my man, you skanky girly-man!!!” screamed Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
don’t know who I want to see get killed first,” commented Haruka, “Excel? 
Nako-Nako?  The Spore?” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
vote for Excel,” offered Minako, “She’s freaky.” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Are
you certain there’s no number we can call to submit our votes to?” asked
Jedite.  Haruka nodded sadly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yup,”
she replied glumly, “No phone number.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dammit!”
snapped Tomoe, “We need to get in contact with T&amp;M Productions and *demand
* they provide a phone number for this sort of thing!  We demand
satisfaction!”  Michiru and Artemis merely watched eagerly as the chase
continued.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>FishEye
suddenly let out a huge girly squeal and fell to the side, holding the back of
his head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“They
got him!” shouted Excel, “They shot the extremely queer-looking gay guy with
the bad hair and the weird, thick, padded suit that looks like it’s made out of
bubble wrap!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Is
he dead?” asked Mamoru, hopefully.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No!
They shot my hair!” wailed FishEye, “They shot my f%#$ing HAIR!!!” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dammit!”
snapped Mamoru.  Meanwhile, ignoring the bullets impacting all over the
Warthog, FishEye leaned over the front seat and thwapped Excel.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Listen! 
Just because I like to wear pretty colored dresses and sakura outfits and just
because I like to stare at and huggle cute, cute boys doesn’t change one very
fundamental fact…”  FishEye pressed his face into Excel’s.  “I’m…not…gay!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
right!” retorted Nyanko, “This coming from the guy who wanted to claim
Mamo-dork there all for himself!  How do you explain that?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!”
exclaimed FishEye, “It takes someone who’s very secure in his sexuality to have
sex with another man!”  All of the Spores simultaneously sweatdropped and
face-faulted.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
FishEye is such a homer-vegetable,” sighed Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Talk
about oxymorons,” commented Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“With
an emphasis on the *moron * part!” added Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Suddenly,
the Witch Twin’s Bronco pulled up alongside.  In between the Warthog and the
Bronco was a single bright yellow Volkswagen Beetle.  Cyprine paused for a
moment, then emptied her rifle into the side of the Volkswagen, blowing out its
windows and causing it to lose control.  The Volkswagen quickly lost speed,
turned sharply, and crashed, flipping over dozens of times and causing a huge
pile-up accident in its wake.  The Spores, the Bronco, and all of the pursuing
cars swerved through the horrific accident and kept going.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes!! 
Yes!!  Yes!!” shrieked Tomoe as he leapt to his feet, “Multiple car pile-ups!! 
Muahahahahahahahahaha!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Holy
crap!” cried Artemis, “Did I see an *Autobot * symbol on that Volkswagen??!” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
my god!!” exclaimed Haruka, “They killed Bumblebee!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
bastards!” cried Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Optimus
Prime’s gonna be pissed!!” added Setsuna.  Jedite cringed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“A
pissed-off Optimus Prime is a really scary thing to see,” he admitted, “And
it’s NOT something I’d like to see again.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Again?”
asked Hotaru, “Are you implying you’ve dealt with that once before?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Let’s
just say there’s a reason Queen Beryl focused on Japan and not North American
in her bid for conquest,” explained Jedite, “There’s also a reason why the Dark
Kingdom looked like such a mess.” Michiru burst out laughing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Awww,
did big, bad General Jedite get his butt kicked by some little bitty robots?”
she taunted, “Especially when they’re so EASY to notice!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
laugh, “Water-sport Michi”,” snarled Jedite, “The Autobots never fell for any
of our tricks, they packed some serious firepower, and our damn Youma never
could spot them despite the symbols staring at them right in the f^%#ing face! 
We had the Autobots outnumbered by several hundred to one and they just
transformed and RAN THEM OVER!!  I’m talking extreme roadkill!!  Then they
turned the Dark Kingdom into a gigantic mud pit!!”  Rei.bot just smirked.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Excellent,”
she intoned.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Chibiusa
turned sharply, trying to get away from the Bronco as Cyprine reloaded. 
Unfortunately, the other unmarked black car sped up alongside them and rammed
into them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Watanabe
scowled fiercely as he spun the wheel and rammed into the Warthog a second
time.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
I do, I do for you, Miss Iyasugi!” he whispered under his breath.  Meanwhile,
in the passenger seat, Iwata was busying rolling down the window.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Die,
miscreants!” screamed Iwata at the top of his lungs, “After a big car chase
like this Misaki is sure to want me!!”  Laughing maniacally, Iwata pulled out a
shotgun and began firing wildly at the Spores.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes!”
screamed Hotaru, “Get ‘em!  Get ‘em!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No!! 
Don’t use a shotgun, you idiots!” shouted Haruka, “Get an Uzi or something and
*spray * the motherf^$#ers!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Muahahahahahahaha!!!”
howled Tomoe as he gripped his stomach with both hands and fell over…onto
Michiru’s lap.  Michiru quickly grabbed him by the hair, pulled him back
upright, and stuffed a Sailor V plushie into his mouth to shut him up.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
Witch-Twin’s Bronco suddenly pulled out in front of the Spores.  Cyprine took
aim, hesitated for a moment, then began firing at Watanabe’s and Iwata’s car,
punching dozens of holes through the car’s hood and windshield.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Crap!!!”
screamed Watanabe as he lost control and struck the guardrail.  The front tires
both exploded and their car came to a screeching halt.  Following closely
behind, the Tokyo police car, which was being driven by Natsumi Tsujimoto and
Miyuki Kobayakawa from “You’re Under Arrest” slammed into them from behind,
squashing the whole front of their car like an accordion. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Awww,
no!” cried Miyuki.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“There
goes that bounty money,” grumbled Natsumi as fought to escape the airbag that
was pinning her to her seat.  Meanwhile, the last black car and the GT-500
easily swerved around the crash and stayed on the Warthog’s tail.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes! 
Yes!” screamed Excel as she watched the two cars crash, “I love demolition derbies! 
All we need now are really big explosions!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
know,” commented Nyanko, “That actually sounds pretty good.” Several bullets
impacted against the Warthog’s windshield and ricocheted off, making everyone
flinch a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi?”
asked Nako-Nako from below.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Shut
up and keep on the speed, b!^*h!!” shouted Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wise
choice,” advised Morrigan over the radio, “Those additional bounty hunters are
closing the distance.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Chibiusa-chan!”
cried Mamoru, “Please slow down and let me off!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No!!”
replied Chibiusa, hearts appearing in her eyes, “We’re meant to be together! 
You and I will drive away, just the two of us, and we’ll never be apart ever
again, my strapping sexual fantasy you!”  Nyanko and Excel just stared at
Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ewwwwww! 
Incest!!” cried Excel, “In the world Lord Ilpalazzo will create sick fetishes
and grotesque fantasies like that will be outlawed and punished by summary
execution by a bullet to the head and the body incinerated!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wow! 
This Ilpalazzo guy’s starting to sound like a halfway decent guy,” admitted
Nyanko.  Suddenly, FishEye pointed straight ahead.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Look
out!!” he screamed shrilly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– the rear of the white Bronco as Cyprine put her rifle back inside and
suddenly dematerialized, becoming a pale, transparent ghost-like figure that
passed through the back of the Bronco, floated through the air, and passed
straight through the front of the Warthog.  Cyprine then rematerialized…right
behind FishEye, Mamoru, and Helios.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Awesome!”
shouted Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
a new trick,” added Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Grabbing
Helios, Cyprine pulled him up in front of her, using him as a shield.  Nyanko
quickly turned, took aim with her pistol and pulled the trigger…despite the
fact that Helios was in the way.  *Click *   </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“S#^t!”
shouted Nyanko.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Excellent!”
cried Jedite, “She was actually going to shoot Horse-boy!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Too
bad the gun misfired,” added Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dammit! 
My dream of seeing Helios dead from multiple gunshot wounds has been
shattered!” moaned Hotaru, “I want to see him die!  I want to drink sake out of
his empty head!  I want a Helios skull-keg at my next birthday party!”  Minako
and Artemis just stared at Hotaru and inched away from her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
Hotaru-chan,” advised Michiru, nervously, “Just take a deep breath and count to
ten.  You’re starting to freak everyone out again.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Without
a word, Cyprine began attacking the Spores, slapping aside Nyanko’s pistol with
one hand and whipping out a straight-razor with the other.  Grabbing Helios by
the hair, she shoved him face-first into the back of the passenger seat and
slashed at Nyanko.  Nyanko quickly grabbed Excel and used *her * as a shield. 
Excel yelped as Cyprine’s blade slashed across her jacket.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Watch
out, Chibiusa-chan!” advised Morrigan, laughing a little.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Huh?”
demanded Chibiusa.  Before she could do anything else Cyprine grabbed her by
the hair and began smacking her head into the steering wheel…over and over
again, causing the Warthog’s horn to honk with each hit.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YES!!!”
shrieked Jedite, Tomoe, and Haruka as Cyprine began beating on Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Muahahahahahahaha!!”
cackled Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
know, whenever I think of this movie, and I most certainly will think of it,”
stated Michiru, “I will think of *this * scene…and smile!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Thrashing
her legs around desperately, Chibiusa accidentally kicked Nako-Nako in the
head, knocking her senseless and causing her to fall forward onto the gas
pedal.  The Warthog began accelerating as it started weaving back and forth
across the highway.  Cyprine kept pounding Chibiusa’s face into the steering
wheel, nailing the Spore a good dozen or so times before FishEye finally
stopped huggling Mamoru and grabbed Cyprine from behind.  Cyprine tried to
bring her blade down across FishEye’s arm, but Helios actually jumped in and
grabbed her arm.  Cyprine quickly reacted by grabbing Helios’ crotch with her
free hand ( letting go of Chibiusa in the process ), grabbed on HARD, and
*twisted *.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– a close-up of Helios’ face as his eyes nearly bugged out of his head, leaned
back a little, and opened his mouth wide…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“THE
HILLS ARE ALIVE…WITH OL’ HORSE-BOY’S SCREAMING!!!” sang Hotaru, “HE’S NOT GONNA
PISS…FOR ABOUT A WEEK!!”  Everyone else, with the exception of rei.bot, was too
busy writhing on the floor in hysterical laughter to comment.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>FishEye
quickly leaned over the driver’s seat and grabbed the steering wheel as
Chibiusa held her head, crying loudly from the pain.  Mamoru was just curled up
in a ball and screaming piteously.  Nyanko ducked as Cyprine slashed at her
head, barely avoiding the gleaming razor.  Excel quickly lunged forward and
wrapped up Cyprine’s extended arm with the seat beat.  Nyanko then began
slapping at Cyprine’s face and the two of them got into a smacking-contest.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“…ow…!”
whimpered Helios from behind Cyprine, “…my sack…!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Shut
up, Helios!” screamed Nyanko, “We don’t have time to listen to your trivial
little nuisances right now!”  Working her hand back and forth, Cyprine cut
through the seat belt and tried to slash Excel.  Excel glanced at the cut
fabric of the safety restraint, then began smacking Cyprine in the face with
it.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Head’s
up, Spores,” warned Morrigan over the radio, “Your problems just increased big
time!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– a little ways to the side and behind the Warthog as one of the black cars
pulled up alongside – Misaki and Sumiyoshi had caught up.  One of the doors on
the passenger side opened, and a tall girl with short purple hair and a blank,
neutral expression quickly climbed out onto the roof.  Like the rest of her
team, she was wearing a dark outfit and cool black shades.   Without word or
hesitation, Roppinmatsu leaped off the car and landed on the hood of a white
race-car coming up the middle lane, squashing the entire engine block flat. 
Bearing down, Roppinmatsu made another huge leap, jumping high into the air and
causing Speed Racer’s car to completely wipe out, flipping end over end and
creating another gigantic twelve-car pile-up as.  The camera caught all of the
vehicular devastation in glorious slow motion.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Haruka
let out a loon-like cry of delight as she watched the accidents unfold,
bouncing up and down on the couch as she watched the cars flip over, roll, and
otherwise explode into pieces.  Jedite looked at her strangely.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Did
you just have an orgasm or what?” he asked.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Knowing
Haruka, she probably did,” said Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Go
Speed Racer!” chanted Artemis, “Go Speed Racer!  Go Speed racer gooooo!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Not
any more, he isn’t,” commented Setsuna.  Minako was too busy wailing about
Nako-Nako while Hotaru and Tomoe were too busy laughing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Roppinmatsu
landed squarely in the middle of the Warthog’s front hood.  Kneeling down, she
reared back her fist and punched through the windshield with one blow. 
Everyone onboard watched in terror as the android then ripped out the shattered
bullet-proof window and tossed it aside like a used tissue.  Mamoru let out a
shrill, girly shriek of pure, pants-wetting fear.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“F#%$
me!!!” screamed Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hell
no!” shouted back FishEye, “Not for all the rice in China, you sick pink
freak!!!”  Nyanko quickly picked up her pistol, cleared the misfire, and
started shooting.  Roppinmatsu immediately began dodging each and every bullet
fired, her arms and body nothing more than blur as she moved.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Give
me that!” shouted Excel as she snatched the gun out of Nyanko’s hand and began
shooting wildly at Roppinmatsu.  Roppinmatsu just kept dodging all of the
shots.  At that moment Nako-Nako rolled over onto the brake pedal, causing the
Warthog to screech to a halt.  The forward inertia threw Roppinmatsu off the
front of the Warthog.  She hit the pavement, tumbled over several times, and
managed to get to her feet.  She watched impassively as the Warthog served
around her and sped away, leaving her by the side of the road.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Scene-switch
– the inside of the Warthog as Cyprine put Excel into a head-lock and began
banging her head against the doorframe repeatedly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ow
( whack )…ow ( whack )…ow ( whack )…” gurgled Excel as her torment continued. 
Cyprine lashed out with her leg and kicked Helios squarely in the crotch,
drawing yet another shrill, distressed squeak from him.  Nyanko grabbed the
pistol from Excel’s hand, spun around, and started shooting at Cyprine.  The
blue-haired witch became intangible as Nyanko began firing and was blown off
the Warthog.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Cyprine
materialized unharmed on the road.  Frowning, she waited a few seconds as the
white Bronco came roaring up the road towards her on a collision course.  At
the last second, Cyprine became intangible once more, phased through the Bronco
as it passed through her, and re-materialized in the passenger’s seat.  Pikurol
sighed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We
are getting aggravated,” grumbled Pikurol.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes
we are,” added Cyprine. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched back to the Warthog as FishEye roughly shoved Chibiusa and
NakoNako aside and started driving.  He did a slightly better job of it than
Chibiusa, but not by much.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Aaaahh!”
cried Chibiusa as she was shoved into the passenger seat with Excel and Nyanko,
“Watch it you bas^*#d!!  You can’t shove me around like that!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi!!”
added NakoNako as she readjusted her hat.  FishEye opened his mouth to make a
reply, then squealed shrilly as more bullets began to pelt the Warthog.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hold
it steady, Eudial!” called out Solarchos as he leaned out the sunroof and
started aiming his sniper-bolter at the Spores.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Got
it!” called out Eudial as she stomped on the gas pedal and pushed her car
faster.  The rest of the Sporehunters were all aiming out the windows of
Eudial’s car and shooting at the Spores.  Kakyuu and Leudast were both laughing
like maniacs and Seiya was burst-firing like crazy.  Adam and Shaldra fired
their guns a couple of times for effect while everyone else waited with
barely-restrained eagerness.  Suddenly, the last black car and the GT-500
zoomed past them and pulled up alongside the Warthog, matching its speed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Huh?”
began Mamoru as both cars rolled down their windows.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey! 
Who are…?” added Nyanko.  Then the Spores all began freaking out as they
recognized the occupants of the two cars.  In the black car were none other
than Mirielle and Kikira from “Noir”.  In the blue Ford GT-500 was Rally
Vincent from “Gunsmith Cats”.  All three girls pulled out pistols, took aim at
the Warthog, and started shooting.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right!” called out Haruka, “Rally Vincent and the Noir-chicks!  This just keeps
getting better and better!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Indeed!”
remarked Michiru, licking her lips at the sight of Mirielle.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wait
a minute,” objected Minako, “Why are a couple of assassins getting involved in
the Sporehunt?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Probably
because a “double if dead” bounty is basically a contract hit,” replied Hotaru,
“I wish Morrigan would change Helios’ bounty to a “double if dead”, too!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Do
it,” urged Setsuna as she stared at the ensuing firefight, “Do it!  Come on,
you bimbos!  Kill those sons a bitches!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah!!”
screamed Hotaru, leaning forward a little, “Blow Helios’ f&amp;$%ing brains
out!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No!!”
shouted Setsuna, “Shoot him on either side of his groin, sever those femoral
arteries, and let him bleed to death!!!” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Perfect!!”
cried Hotaru happily as she high-fived Setsuna.  Minako and Artemis both stared
at them in abject horror.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay,
I’m just going to move over here for the rest of the night,” said Artemis as he
hopped down onto the floor.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– slightly downwards at Rally Vincent as she emptied her Desert Eagle into the
side of the Warthog, putting numerous dents in its side armor.  The scene
switched again, focusing on Kikira and Mirielle as they emptied their guns into
the Warthog as well, aiming for the tires but failing to penetrate the armored
wheelguards.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We’ve
gotta get the hell outta here!” screamed FishEye.  Suddenly, the Spores were
all thrown to the side as Rally rammed her car into the Warthog.  A second
later, Mirielle did the same thing, slamming her car against the Warthog while
Kikira emptied her pistol into Excel, hitting her about half a dozen times and
pushing her right into Nyanko and Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ow!!”
cried Excel.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
god, she’s been shot!” shouted Nyanko, “Are you all right!?”  Excel just burst
out into a huge smile and flashed them the V-sign as she brushed off the from
of her jacket, which now had about six deep dents in it.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Excel
like to wear Kevlar!” she replied, happily, “Excel’s Kevlar jacket helps keep
her really, really safe so she can further the great and wondrous goals of Lord
Ilpalazzo!”  Chibiusa quickly punched Excel in the face.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Stop
going on and on about that stupid Ilpalazzo @$$hole!” she screamed, “We don’t
care!!”  The conversation are interrupted as Rally Vincent began shooting
again, putting a bullet straight through Chibiusa’s hair.  Mirielle and Kikira
also kept shooting, and suddenly a loud bang suddenly could be heard over the
noise as one of their shots finally blew out one of the Warthog’s tires.  The
headrest of the driver’s seat exploded a moment later as a micronized rocket
struck it from behind, throwing FishEye forward and causing him to loose
control.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Mamoru
squealed in hysterical terror as the Warthog weaved back and forth across the
road, slamming first into Rally’s car, then Mirielle’s, sending both cars
spinning out of control.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…!!!” screamed Mirielle and Kikira simultaneously as
their car spun out, went off the road, and crashed head-on into…Tortoro.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– the car’s point of view as it plowed straight into Tortoro’s smiling face,
which turned into a distressed frown mere moments before impact.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>WHAM!!!</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Noooooooo!
Not Tortoro!!” wailed Minako as she burst out into tears.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”
screamed everyone else in hysterical laughter.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Our
friend Tortoro just became some serious roadkill!” called out Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Meanwhile,
Rally’s GT-500 spun out and crashed straight through a guardrail, straight off
the other side, and briefly became airborne.  The camera zoomed in, catching
every moment of Rally Vincent freaking out.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“On
my goddess!!” she wailed, “I don’t wanna die a virgin!!”  Suddenly, there was a
huge crunch as her car hit the ground, kept driving downhill at over 50 miles
per hour, and crashed straight into the Hinata apartment complex.  Busting
through the wall and flattening the dining room table ( and very nearly
flattening the entire cast of  “Love Hina” in the process ), Rally was unable
to regain control.  Finally, her famous car, which was now looking a whole lot
worse for wear, smashed through one final wall and came to a shuddering halt in
the middle of the bathing pool, quickly sinking up to the windows.  Rally
facefaulted and thumped her head against the steering wheel.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Son
of a…” she moaned as the inside of her car filled up to her chest.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, returning back to the swerving and weaving Warthog and Eudial’s
car.  Solarchos fired another shot at it, but the Warthog swerved aside at the
last moment, causing the gyroslug to shoot past and strike…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>…a
Puchuu standing on the guardrail.  The cute little critter was hit by the shot
and immediately exploded, splattering its now-ugly face all over the place.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nice
shot!” called out Seiya, “You nailed that Puchuu good!”  Solarchos sweatdropped
a little</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
was aiming for the Spores,” he grumbled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Still,
Puchuus *are * on the bounty list,” corrected Morrigan over the radio, “That’s
another 200 dollars for the SporeHunters so don’t feel so bad about missing.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We’ve
gotta stop that damn thing!” shouted Shaldra, “Or at least slow it down enough
that some of us can jump aboard!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“With
how those idiots are weaving all over the place there’s no chance of that
happening,” called out Eudial.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’d
like to know who the hell’s driving that thing and whether or not they’re on
crack,” said Jup.Knight, “They just ran the Mystery Machine off the road!” 
Everyone was suddenly thrown to one side as Eudial swerved hard, following the
Warthog as it took an exit off the highway and re-entered the city.  They were
getting close to Galaxy TV.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
got an idea of how to stop that thing,” announced Starcat, “But I’ve got a
feeling you aren’t going to like it, Solar.”  Solarchos looked back at Starcat,
then at her excited expression, then at the plasma grenade she was now holding.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Something
tells me I’m about to be out another Warthog,” he grumbled.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– An outside shot of an ordinary-looking parked car…roughly a second before the
Warthog crashed into it from behind, rolling up onto its rear, over its roof,
and back down over its hood, driving back onto the road and continuing with
hardly any loss of speed.  The Spores stared back at the ruined car they’d just
partially flattened.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oops!”
cried FishEye, “Do you think I should leave them a note or something?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh,
no!” replied Nyanko as she saw some guy come out of a nearby shop, see the
ruined car, and fall to his knees sobbing, “Just keep driving and don’t look
back!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Galaxy
TV, dead ahead,” announced Morrigan over the radio, “Looks like you jokers
actually made it.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yaaaaaaay!”
cried Excel as she stood up, clapping happily and flashing the V-sign again. 
Just then, Eudial’s car suddenly swerved up alongside them.  Before anyone
could do anything about it, a small glowing blue ball was thrown through the
air and struck the Warthog on its rear wheel, sticking to the wheelguard plate
like it was glued on.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hold
on!” yelled Eudial as she stomped on the brakes, putting her car into a
tremendous screeching halt and sending all of the SporeHunters flying forward. 
A moment later, Starcat’s plasma grenade exploded in a brilliant blue flash of
light.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– the inside of the Warthog looking down at the Spores from the rear-view
mirror.  The words “CRASH-CAM” appeared at the bottom of the screen.  There was
a huge thump as the grenade detonated, the force of the blast sending the rear
of the Warthog upwards.  FishEye freaked out as he instantly lost control. 
Mamoru screamed in terror, his ear-piercing shriek mingling beautifully with
those of Chibiusa, Nyanko, and Helios as the Warthog was pitched onto its nose
and proceeded to flip over.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kuuuuuu-PIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!”
screamed NakoNako.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Eeeeeeeeeee-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!”
wailed Chibiusa, tears squirting from her eyes as the Warthog continued to roll
over.  The camera angle didn’t change, showing nothing of the wreckage they
were leaving in their wake, but the purple blood splattering onto the Spores was
a good indication that some Puchuus had become collateral damage. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Back
in the Suburban Senshi’s den, everyone stared in awed silence as the Spores
continued their crash, obviously rolling over several more times.  The
screaming never stopped and Hotaru burst out into evil laughter as she caught
sight of the spreading wet patch in the crotch of Helios’ pants.  Finally,
after several seconds the sounds of crunching and the unmistakable scraping of
metal, and one gigantic crash of glass, the Warthog came to a halt and most of
the Spores fell to the side of the screen.  The Warthog was not lying on its
side in the front lobby of Galaxy TV.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Before
any of the Suburban Senshi could do anything, the screen froze…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>LET’S
SEE THAT AGAIN!! proclaimed the subtitles at the bottom of the screen.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HELL
YEAH!!” shouted Haruka.  Suddenly, the movie reshowed the entire “Crash-Cam”
sequence from the beginning…in glorious slow motion.  All of the Suburban
Senshi proceeded to go wild, clapping and cheering the whole time.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“This
is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen since “Faces of Death”!” cried Jedite
happily.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“This
movie TRULY deserves an Oscar award!” added Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“It
certainly beats Michael Moore’s crap,” stated Artemis, “That fat, socialist,
f#%&amp;!”  Setsuna and Hotaru were actually headbanging in a rare display of
emotion, which surprised more than a few people.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“NakoNako…!”
wailed Minako, who was clearly NOT enjoying the crash scene.  Laughing
insanely, Professor Tomoe quickly silenced Minako’s crying by stuffing a Sailor
V plushie into her mouth.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Okay! 
You made it!  Great job with the car-chase scene!” stated Morrigan over the
radio, “Lotsa drama, lotsa carnage!  The audience will love it!  Now get your
butts to studio 4 on the second floor and double-time it!”  Meanwhile, the
Spores were busy extricating themselves from the badly-damaged Warthog and
staggering around the lobby, oblivious to the dozens of people standing around
staring at them.  Chibiusa got to her feet first, staggered over to the nearest
wall, and noisily threw up.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Excel
feels very very dizzy,” whimpered Excel as she took a few wobbly steps, then
fell to her knees and hurled the contents of her stomach onto the floor.  The
Spores all quickly began to recover as they heard the unmistakable sound of
Eudial’s car approaching.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hurry!”
stated Mamoru, posing dramatically, “You must get Small Lady out of here.  I
will buy you all the time needed for you to escape!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Fine
by me,” stated Nyanko.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Catch
you later, Sheet-boy,” added Helios.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Bye!”
replied Excel, “Have fun getting slaughtered!” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi
kupi!” chirped NakoNako happily.  Without another word, Helios and Excel
clapped their hands over FishEye’s and Chibiusa’s mouths, silencing their
protests, and proceeded to quickly drag them away while Nyanko grabbed the
shotgun they’d stolen from Starcat.  Within seconds the Spores had dashed away,
leaving Mamoru behind.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!!”
he shouted, “You’re supposed to beg me not to risk myself like this, not just
scarper off like this!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Bwaaaaa-hahaha!!!”
cried Jedite, “Cape-boy got ditched!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
the harsh, ugly face of reality rears its head at Tuxedo Kamen,” added Michiru,
“Oh fortune, how you mock him.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mock
him…and entertain us!!” stated Tomoe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched over to Eudial and the Sporehunters as Eudial sped straight
towards the wreckage of the Warthog.  Mamoru, already dressed up as Tuxedo
Kamen, was slowly and deliberately walking towards them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ooooo,
Cape-boy’s gonna be Tuxedo Roadkill!” hissed Eudial.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“SporeHunters,”
announced Morrigan, “I am now authorizing a 4000 dollar bounty for the LIVE
capture of Cape-boy.  Got it?”  The Sporehunters all began smiling.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oooooo!”
whispered Kakyuu, “We gonna catch us a Cape-boy now!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Dramatic
music began playing ( “Mona Lisa Overdrive” still ) as Eudial’s car continued
to bear down on Tuxedo Kamen.  He stood completely still as the scarlet-haired
witch came right at him.  Then, at the last moment, he dived to the side, just
barely avoiding getting run over and hurling a single rose at the windshield.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Close
up of the rose striking the windshield, sticking into the glass and cracking it
noticeably.  Eudial swerved slightly, going around Tuxedo Kamen.  As he dove to
the side Tuxedo Kamen whipped out his cane and stabbed it forwards, aiming at
the tires with the intention of puncturing it.  He closed his eyes as he did
so, apparently envisioning the entire scenario, playing all out in his mind,
factoring in everything needed.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ooooooo…!”
moaned Setsuna, hearts beating in her eyes as she watched every move Mamoru made.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“He’s
so dashing and suave!” added Minako, equally enraptured.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
puh-lease!” snapped Jedite, “The man’s a effete poser in a tuxedo with a flower
fetish and a pervert for a future daughter.”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No!”
cried Setsuna, “Mamo-chan will save the day!  I know he will!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Tuxedo
Kamen quickly rose to his feet and spun around.  Opening his eyes, he surveyed
the scene…and realized things hadn’t quite gone the way he’d wanted.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Eudial’s
car was idling nearby…with its tires undamaged.   Tuxedo Kamen’s cane, however,
had snapped like a twig after making contact with the car.  The Sporehunters
had already gotten out of the car.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You’re
gonna pay for that windshield, Cape-boy!” screamed Eudial as she charged at him
and knocked him to the ground in a quarterback-tackle.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Take
that, Tuxedo faggot!!” screamed Wolfwood.  Leudast started kicking the crap out
of Mamoru while Kakyuu started jumping up and down on Mamoru’s back.  Things
got ugly for Cape-boy really fast.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right!” called out Morrigan over the radio, “That’s another 4000 dollars for
the Sporehunters!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YEAH!!!”
screamed Jedite, “Hit him!  Hit him!  Beat the crap out of him!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Smoke
that mutha like he ain’t no thang!!” yelled Tomoe.  Setsuna was in tears,
Minako and Artemis’ heads were tilting slightly, Hotaru was a little
crestfallen, rei.bot seemed unperturbed, and Haruka and Michiru were cringing
slightly as the beating continued.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wow!”
commented Artemis, “They’re really going to town on him!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mamo-chan’s
going to be stealing that and mourning!” added Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“FEELING
it in the MORNING!” snapped Hotaru, sweatdropping.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Waaaaaaaahhhhh!!!”
wailed Setsuna, crying like Usagi.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
accept the pain, Meioh,” retorted Jedite, “We all knew this was going to happen
the moment those Sporehunters went after him.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Jeez! 
They’re beating him up with raw O.J.-like inhumanity!” cried Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
know,” replied Michiru, “What barbarism.  What unsophisticated thugs.  Those
Sporehunters…”  Tomoe quickly stuck a handful of potato chips into Michiru’s
mouth to shut her up.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Those
Sporehunters rule!!” he shouted, “They rule!  Whoa!  They just shoved him
head-first into a garbage can!  Now they’re kicking and beating the hell out of
the can!!  Muahahahahahahahahaha!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“This
is pure gold!  I love this!” cried Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
Sporehunters quickly tied up Mamoru with cufftape and threw him ( and yes, I do
me *threw * him ) into the back of Eudial’s car.  They all then stood together
at the lobby of Galaxy TV.  They looked up, then at each other, and all nodded.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Let’s
get that Spore and kick her ass!” stated Adam.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nyanko’s
mine,” growled Kakyuu.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kickass,”
stated Jup.Knight firmly.  Shaldra just purred, waving her tail eagerly.  All
of the Sporehunters began dashing towards the lobby, eager to continue the
chase.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>All
except for Wolfwood, who tapped Eudial on the shoulder.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Are
you going with them?” asked Eudial.  Wolfwood shook his head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Not
right now,” he told her, “I need you to give me a ride.  There’s something I
need to take care of for a friend, and it needs to be done now before it’s too
late.”  Eudial nodded and they both dashed back to her car.  The scene then
faded to black.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>PLEASE
INSERT DISC 4.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Awww,
crap!” cried Haruka, “Quick!  Change out the disc!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
I wanna see Wolfwood get his ride from Eudial!” called out Tomoe,
“Muahahahahaha!”  Michiru quickly thwapped him with  harisen.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hentai!”
she snapped.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!”
bawled Setsuna, still crying.  Artemis was covering his ears with his paws to
drown out the awful noise.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
I thought Usagi was loud!” he commented.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’ve
got it,” said Hotaru as she got up.  All of a sudden the lights went out.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the…?!” demanded Haruka.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Not
a blackout!” cried Minako, “Not now!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No!”
shouted Jedite, “I must see Disc 4!  I must watch the Spore get her ass
kicked!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wait
a sec!” called out Hotaru, “The lights in the houses across the street are
still on.  What’s going on here?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Main
power cut off,” intoned rei.bot, “Circuit breakers have been tripped.  Thank
Nephrite for that.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nephrite??!!”
shouted Jedite and Haruka simultaneously.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
son of a…” snarled Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
mean he yanked the power lines to this house somehow?” asked Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“He
probably screwed with the power meter outside,” replied Tomoe, “rei.bot can
have it fixed in a few seconds.”  Rei.bot nodded and silently got up to do so. 
Meanwhile, Michiru picked up a few of the empty beer bottles littering the
floor and went into the kitchen to fully empty them out, stepping around the
shattered remains of the counter in the process.  Everyone watched her, curious.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh,
Michi, what are you?” began Haruka.  She cringed a little as she saw “that
look” in her eyes.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Have
you got some gasoline lying around, Haruka?” asked Michiru.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uhh…yeah,
why?”  Michiru smiled evilly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Get
it!” she snarled, “We’re gonna FIREBOMB that b@$^@rds house for this one!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“HELL
YEAH!!” shouted Jedite as he rushed over to help.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“But
you promised that that dumb feud between you and him was over!” objected
Hotaru.  Michiru continued to smile evilly, madness glinting in her eyes.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
lied!”  Hotaru, Minako, and Artemis sweatdropped big-time.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<h3>To Be Continued in Episode 8</h3>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:16.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:16.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

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=Episode 8=

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<p class=MsoTitle>T &amp; M Productions, in Association with Xadium Studios</p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>And the Suburban Senshi Signal Corps</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>Shamelessly Presents…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:16.0pt'>Suburban Senshi : Sporehunt</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>Episode 8 – Iron Senshi</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><span
style='font-size:14.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Usual legal crap : The following story and its
sequels are works of pure parody and fiction and do not represent actual views,
attitudes, and feelings.  Except in regard to Chibiusa Tsukino who needs to be
summarily executed.  Just about all of the characters portrayed in this are
pretty much the property of someone else.  They know who they are.  I’m not
stealing them; I’m just borrowing them for a little bit.  Imitation and
imagination are the sincerest forms of flattery.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Ooo-hohohohohohohohoho!!”  Michiru’s insane
laughter filled the air as she hurled another lit Molotov cocktail at Nephrite’s
house.  The bottle shattered against the front door, dousing it with ignited
gasoline.  Already several windows had been smashed, the paneling on one side
had been slashed apart by Hotaru’s glaive, the roof had been set on fire by
Professor Tomoe and Minako, the garage had been utterly destroyed by a
well-placed World-Shaking, Setsuna was blowing holes in the second floor with
continuous Dead Screams, and Jedite was going to town in the back yard with a
chainsaw.  Artemis stayed next to rei.bot, who was casually hanging back and
staying uninvolved.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Insanity reigns,” intoned rei.bot as she watched
with her usual impassive expression, “Destruction for its own sake...what a
bunch of freaks.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yes, but they sure look like they’re having fun
doing it,” replied Artemis.  From the back yard came a loon-like cry of
maniacal laughter as Jedite finished sawing through a large tree, then tipped
it over, allowing it to collapse against the back of Nephrite’s house with a
loud crash.  Jedite then set the tree on fire with a well-placed blast of dark
lightning.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“The roof!  The roof!  The roof is on fire!” chanted
Setsuna, grooving a little to the delight of any young boys lurking in the
shadows, “We don’t need no water, let it burn yo burn yo!  We don’t need no
water let it burn!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“And burning it is!” added Haruka, “That was fun!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yes, we should commit arson and willful destruction
of private property more often!” called out Prof. Tomoe, “Who wants Tasty
Coffee?!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The Suburban Senshi returned to their house.  Some
of them were carrying long sticks upon which roasted marshmallows were
simmering.  Over on the next street the flames were climbing higher as they
relentlessly consumed Nephrite’s house.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Heh,” remarked Jedite, “I have to admit that was
rather amusing.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“That’ll teach that bastard to mess with our power,”
added Michiru.  They all quickly sat back down and pressed “play” on the DVD
remote.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>THE FOLLOWING PREVIEWS HAVE BEEN APPROVED BY T &amp;
M PRODUCTIONS…</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Previews?” asked Minako, “As in more than one?”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Dammit!” snapped Haruka, “Not more of that dumbass
blond ditz!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The scene showed a frontal of Haruka getting ready
to fight.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I want you to hit me as hard as you can,” she
stated.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“What?” asked a confused Usagi.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Announcer : “She thought she had the perfect life.” 
The scene showed Usagi lying in bed, fast asleep and snoring.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Usagi : “I met dynamic women…”  The scene showed
Usagi getting yelled at by an angry Rei. “I had a good job…”  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Rei : “SHUT UP!!”  The scene switched to show Usagi
playing on an arcade game</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Usagi : “I had a good job.”  Usagi pressed a buttons
repeatedly on the game, then the scene switched to show daimon-box after
daimon-box rolling along a conveyer belt towards Eudial’s car. </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Eudial : “You’re not paid to abuse the copy
machine!”  The scene switched to Sailor Moon striking her famous pose, then
switched again to show large crowds of clapping, happy people.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Usagi : “I had it all…and then I met…Tyler
Durden.”   The scene switched again, showing Haruka in her school uniform.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Haruka : “Welcome to Fight Club.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Confused Usagi : “What is that?”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Haruka : “Fight Club’s the beginning.”  The next
scenes flashed by in rapid succession, showing all of the Senshi and various
villains all looking eager for a fight.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Happy, grinning Usagi as she flashes the V-sign : “I
am enlighted.”  The next scene showed Jupiter accidentally kneeing Mars in the
ribs instead of Cooan and various scenes of the Senshi and SM villains
launching attacks at each other…or getting nailed by an attack.  Then it showed
Sailor Uranus, posing imperiously.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Haruka : “First rule of Fight Club…you do not talk
about Fight Club!  Second rule of Fight Club (close up of Haruka’s face )…you
do not talk about Fight Club!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Facefaulting Usagi : “What did you guys do?!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Nonchalant Haruka : “You wanna make an omelet…”  The
next scene showed Professor Tomoe hugging and cradling a daimon-pod.  “…you
gotta break some eggs.”  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Announcer as Haruka’s pic appeared : “Brat Pitt…” 
Sailor Moon appeared, preparing to hurl her tiara.  “Edward Norton…”  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The next scene showed all of the Inner Senshi
dancing around desperately as flames raged around their feet due to Mars’
careless use of a fire blast.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Usagi voice-over : “This is too much!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Angry Haruka : “What did you expect?!”  The scene
switched again, showing Jesse and James from Pokemon posing…and holding a great
big red R between them. </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Announcer : “Fight Club…rated R.  Coming soon to a
theater near you.”  The final scene showed Usagi and Rei fighting at the Hikowa
temple and rolling around on the ground…then Usagi lying on the ground with
several red marks on her face.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Injured Usagi : “…That hurt…”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Is that for real?” asked Setsuna.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Aren’t you supposed to already know the answer?”
retorted Jedite, wryly.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I am not the head of some underground anarchist
organization!” objected Haruka loudly, “But I kinda wish I was.” </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yeah, then you could act like an even bigger slob
than you already are,” added Michiru. </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“And beat the crap out everyone around you,” added
Tomoe, “But you do that all the time anyway!”  Just then the next preview
began.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>A
lone figure dressed in military cameos stood in front of an upturned Warthog
that for no reason whatsoever was on fire.  Standing next to him was a
well-known Japanese pop-idol.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey! 
That’s a Sporehunter!” called out Artemis, “That’s Wolfwood!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Sure
is,” added Prof. Tomoe, “It’s Hotaru’s future boyfriend and sex-slave!”  Hotaru
growled angrily.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Enough
with the boyfriend nonsense already!”  Minako’s eyes flashed with stars as she
instantly recognized the pop-idol.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Seiya-kun!”
she sighed happily, “Oh, he’s as beautiful and handsome as ever!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“He’s
a fricken’ “she”, remember?!” cried Haruka, “Sailor Star Fighter, remember??!! 
Earth to Minako’s brain…hello?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey
everybody, I’m Wolfwood from the popular fan fiction series Sporehu…“  Wolfwood
trailed off as someone else entered the frame, waving madly.  “Fish-Eye?! What
are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be in this one!”   Fish-eye began to
well up with tears, albeit very very gay tears.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> “But-but,
you said I need to participate more! So I’m participating…in my own way,”
sobbed Fish-Eye.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
in what way is a skirt, high heels, and a shirt that reads ‘I love to kiss all
the boys’ helpful?” demanded Wolfwood, shaking his head in abject disgust.
“Ugh…lets just start over...”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hello
everyone!” began Seiya, smiling blankly with a rather vacuous expression on her
face (not unlike Mihoshi 95% of the time ),  “I am Mr. Wolfwood from the
popular fan fiction Sporehunt!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Seiya,
that’s my line!” retorted Wolfwood. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“…you
can’t prove that!” taunted Seiya, sticking her tongue out at him.  Suddenly,
they all started looking around curiously.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What’s
that strange and unusual sound?” asked Fish-Eye.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Sounds
like Princess Kakyuu screaming bloody murder,” offered Seiya.  A moment later, Princess
Kakyuu ran across the screen with her hair on fire.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
she shrieked at the top of her lungs, “BLOODY MURDER!!! BLOODY MURDER!!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Everyone
in the Sub-Sen Den recoiled in their chairs.  Even rei.bot.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Shimata!”
shouted Jedite, “That princess screams louder than Usagi!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
Usagi can wail for sure,” added Setsuna, “I’ve sometimes heard her all the way
from the Gates of Time.  I kid you not!&quot;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“As
you all already know,” continued Wolfwood as Kakyuu ran off, “We tend to use a
lot of Covenant plasma grenades from the Xbox game Halo in our series…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Or
El~Halo as it is known in Spanish Land!” piped in Seiya.  Wolfwood glowered at
her for a moment before continuing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Seiya, you’re an idiot…anyway, much like the fourth
of July, the fun of Sporehunt isn’t in the Hotdog wieners, the fun, or the
non-stop binge drinking…we only do it for the sheer volume of explosions!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“No it’s not!” objected Haruka, “It’s the non-stop
binge drinking!  NOTHING’S better than non-stop binge drinking!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Not even explosions?” asked Minako.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Kickass!!” shouted Seiya, thrusting a fist into the
air.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mmm…delicious
wieners!” moaned Fish-Eye, drooling slightly.  Wolfwood sweatdropped at
Fish-Eye’s reaction.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
in turn, we’ve assembled a short list of grenade-handling tips to make your
experience more fun,” stated Wolfwood.  “Let’s watch as Seiya and Fish-Eye
demonstrate some common mistakes when handling these little treasures!”  The
scene switched, showing Seiya and Fish-Eye standing together in backgrounds
that looked like they were drawn by Usagi herself.  A caption appeared across
the bottom of the screen – <b>“Safety Tip #1 : Never play indoors with plasma
grenades.”</b></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Fish-guy
whose name I can’t remember!” called out Seiya, “Check out this awesome glowing
ball! It is even more fun because we are playing with it inside!”  Seiya began
tossing around a glowing blue sphere the size of a tennis ball – a Covenant
plasma grenade.  An *armed * Covenant plasma grenade.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Wait! 
That’s not a ball, that’s a grenade!” cried Fish-Eye.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Do
not worry man of tuna!  We are completely safe! All of the doors and windows
are locked from the outside, so we can not escape!” announced Seiya happily. 
Then a very nervous expression appeared on her face. “Oh…wait a minute…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>(
Insert earth-shattering ka-boom here. )</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Prof.
Tomoe burst out into insane laughter at the sight of Seiya and Fish-Eye getting
blasted.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah!”
added Haruka, “Now THIS is entertainment!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><b><span style='font-size:20.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></b></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><b><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Safety
Tip #2 : Never play with plasma grenades near an open flame.” </span></b><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'> The next scene showed Seiya and Fish-Eye at a
barbecue grill.  Fish-Eye was wearing, to no one’s surprise, an apron that
proclaimed “Kiss the Cook”.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So
Seiya, how do you like your meat?” asked Fish-Eye as he poked and prodded at
the grill with a BBQ fork.  “Burnt to a crisp, or pink and juicy?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Lobster
dip man,” replied Seiya, “I will take that fuzzy glowing hamburger please.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
no hamburger, it’s a grenade!” cried Fish-Eye.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
know! I switched them when you weren’t looking!” called out Seiya, grinning
like an idiot. “Maybe I should not have done that!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>(
Insert earth-shattering ka-boom here. )</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Hotaru
and Jedite cackled evilly as the pair got blown up again.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
could watch this all day!” sighed Michiru, smirking a little.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Indeed!”
added Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><b><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Safety
Tip #3 : Never put plasma grenades in your pants.”  </span></b><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>The next scene showed Seiya and Fish-Eye standing in
the middle of a non-descript field that could’ve been any small field or park
in Japan.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Say
Seiya,” asked Fish-Eye, “Have you seen my plasma grenade?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes,
Maui Maui person,” replied Seiya, “I put it in my pants!”  A look of slow
realization came over Seiya’s face.  “Wait…”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>(
Insert earth-shattering ka-boom here. )</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Putting
plasma grenades down your own pants will result in injury or death,” announced
Artemis, “Putting plasma grenades down someone ELSE’S pants will result in much
rejoicing!”  Jedite was currently laughing so hard tears were streaming from
his eyes.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><b><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Safety
Tip #4 : Never aim plasma grenades at your friends…even if they piss you off by
doing that really annoying thing.  You know, that REALLY REALLY annoying
thing.”</span></b></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Like Usagi’s wailing,” commented Jedite.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Or
Helios’ rapping,” added Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Or
Haruka’s snoring,” said Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Or
Michiru’s cooking,” offered Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey!!!”
shouted Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Wolfwood
stepped out in front of the camera, this time wearing a heavily padded EOD suit
and a heavily reinforced helmet. </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“In
this last bit,” he announced, “The part of the grenade launcher will be played
by our friend Starcat…enjoy!”  Wolfwood stepped aside to reveal Fish-Eye and
Seiya standing in the middle of another generic field.  Standing right between
them was none other than Starcat herself.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey
Mr. Grouper!” began Seiya, “Want to see my awesome grenade launcher?”  Seiya
motioned towards the happily-smiling Starcat, who flashed the V-sign.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Totally!”
replied Fish-Eye, “Just remember, don’t point it directly at me, ok?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“OK,
and I promise I won’t forget whatever it is you just said” called out Seiya as
he turned Starcat right towards Fish-Eye.  Starcat then chucked a plasma
grenade right at Fish-Eye, the blue-glowing ball latching onto the Amazon’s
face right between his eyes.  Fish-Eye immediately went into super-deformed,
big-head, uber-freak out mode a second before the grenade exploded spectacularly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
forgo-ot!!” called out Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
sad thing is,” stated Haruka, “I can actually see those two doing that in real
life.  I really do.”  Rei.bot nodded silently in agreement.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched back to the upturned and burning Warthog where Wolfwood was
standing.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
rightie, end scene,” he stated,  “Well, I hope you all learned a valuable
lesson today about the need for proper safety with plasma grenades and maybe,
just maybe, a little about yourself.  Oh, I almost forgot the most important safety
tip!  If you have small children around or even very stupid adults...never EVER
let them play with Covenant plasma grenades without proper supervision!” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey
guys,” asked a voice from off-camera, “What’s that hissing noise?”  Wolfwood
looked to the side, then facefaulted.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
f$%k!!  Seiya!!”  Off to the side of the screen a massive explosion knocked the
camera sideways and sent Wolfwood flying off his feet.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uh-oh,”
mumbled Fish-Eye from off-camera, “It’s running time!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ying
did it!” added Seiya from elsewhere.  Meanwhile, Wolfwood was slowly getting to
his feet.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“If
I survive this, I’m going to kill both of you…slowly,” he hissed.  Suddenly, a
slim girl in a blue and white fuku with long brown hair, a fluffy grey-furred
tail, and wolf-like ears popped in.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
are you two losers talking about?!” shouted Yinggirl, “I’m not even in this
messed-up fanfic!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Heh...explosions!” chuckled Artemis, “I want a few
of those plasma grenades for myself.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You’re not thinking of trying to blow up Teddy
Ruxpin with them, are you?” exclaimed Minako.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“No.  I’m just thinking of how much fish I could
make off with from the Tokyo fish markets,” explained Artemis, “Just think
about it!  With a few of those grenades I could hold the place for ransom and
get paid in fish!  It’s a win-win situation either way you look at it!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Feh.  Plasma grenades,” scoffed Jedite, “The tools
of weaklings who can’t harness such powers naturally.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“This coming from a guy who got set up by Usagi to
get run over by a damn jumbo jet?” retorted Haruka, “Big words coming from a
small fry like you.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Shut up, Te’nou!!” shouted Jedite, “I was just
trying to get her to lower her guard!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“By getting skid marks put all the way down the
length of your spine?” asked Setsuna.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Shut up!!” screamed Jedite, “At least I’m not on
the cover of Crack Whore magazine!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>AND NOW FOR OUR FEATURE PRESENTATION... </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“SILENCE!!” screamed Haruka, standing up and
pointing at them both imperiously as the TV screen darkened again.  The show
had started.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>C-Pov – the inside of a fairly large meeting room at
Ginga TV.  Inside the room a group of corporate executives were busy having a
business conference.  The corporation was none other than Di$ney.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>All of the Suburban Senshi groaned simultaneously.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Not *these* bungholes...” grumbled Hotaru.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Has anyone seen the latest figures for this
quarter?” asked the senior exec as he began the meeting.  The other men and
women in the room shook their heads.  “Our profit margins are a full 10% higher
than we’d originally projected.  We creamed ‘em!”  Everyone began clapping at
the good news.  “Headquarters thinks it’s time to take our operations here in
Japan to the next step, starting with taking advantage of the pop-culture
here.  Particularly in the fields of anime and manga.  I’ve brought you all
here to brainstorm and come up with ideas on how Di$ney can continue to spread
American ideals and at the same time profit as much as possible from the
Japanese.” He suddenly frowned.  “What is that smell?” he asked, “Do I smell
onions?”  They all looked around the room and saw two newcomers sitting off to
the side who obviously didn’t belong there.  The first was a teenaged girl with
bright green eyes and short blond hair, wearing a green-skirted sailor fuku. 
Sitting next to her was a tough-looking dark-haired young man wearing combat
clothing and whittling away on a fresh onion with a knife.  Layers of onion
peels littered the ground at his feet. The screen froze for a moment, and
subtitles appeared identifying the girl as Sailor Quinox and the guy as Gunarm
Dyne.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Excuse me,” called out the senior exec.  Dyne
looked up from his onion whittling while Quinox was skimming through a
magazine.  “May I ask what you are doing in this meeting room?”  Dyne just
smiled.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You may proceed, mon amie,” stated Dyne as he faced
Quinox, bowing to her.  Sailor Quinox stood up.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I’ll have to start by apologizing for my friend
here,” began Quinox, “He has a little thing for drama.”  Quinox cleared her
throat.  “Di$ney!  Created by Walt Disney way back in the early part of the 20<sup>th</sup>
Century with a character first known as Steamboat Willy.  Over the years Walt
Disney evolved and further refined his characters, creating such memorable
names as Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Goofy, Donald and Daisy Duck, Gladstone Gander,
Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Dewy, and Louie, DarkWing Duck, Launchpad McQuack,
Tinkerbell, Jiminey Cricket, Chip and Dale, and many, many more.  Since it’s
creation and subsequent incorporation, the Di$ney corporation has spawned
dozens of full-length theatrical films, an equal number of TV shows, hundreds
of music CD’s performed by the characters themselves, dozens of prime-time
specials just in the United States alone, and a library of priced-to-own video
cassettes and DVD’s, and let us not forget...theme-parks located around the
globe naturally dubbed...Di$neyWorld.  Did, uh, I miss anything?”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You forgot Di$ney magazine,” replied the senior
exec.  Quinox immediately thwapped herself on the forehead.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You forgot the magazine?!” called out Prof. Tomoe,
“How could you forget the magazine, dumbass?!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yeah!  Everyone knows about the magazine!” added
Setsuna.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Doofus!” chimed in Haruka.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You dumbo!” chided Minako.  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I don’t think that’s the appropriate phrase,
Mina-san,” remarked Hotaru.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Now,” continued the senior exec, “Is there a point
to all this?”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You,” began Quinox, her voice and face taking on a
serious tone, “And your board are idolators.”  Meanwhile, Dyne had gotten up
and was walking by.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I can’t believe you forgot about Di$ney magazine,”
he whispered to Quinox as he passed by her.  Dyne walked up to the senior exec
and showed him the onion figure he’d been carving.  “That’s you.  Do you know
much about voodoo?  It’s a fascinating practice.  No real doctrine of faith to
speak of.  More of an arrangement of superstitions.  The most well-known of
which...is the voodoo doll.”  The camera focused for a moment on the onion
figure as Dyne set it down on the table.  “You see...”  Dyne broke off as he
suddenly sneezed.  A few seconds of silence followed as all of the Di$ney
executives just watched him closely.  “...a mock-up of an individual is
subjected to various pokes and prods.  The desired result is that the
individual will feel those effects.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Call security!” ordered the senior exec.  One of
the other people at the table leaned forward towards the conference phone
sitting in the middle of the table.  Before he could touch it, however, Dyne
reared back his arm and threw the knife he’d been holding at the phone.  With a
loud crunch and the sound of something short-circuiting, the phone was rendered
inoperative.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“All lines are currently down,” replied Dyne,
smiling happily.  Sailor Quinox suddenly got back to her feet, clearing her
throat.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Okay...” she began.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Would you just knock it off!” retorted Dyne.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You’re doing it again!  What did we talk about?”
warned Quinox.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Aw, f^%$!!” cried Dyne, exasperated.  Dyne sat down
while Quinox resumed talking.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You are responsible for raising an icon that draws
worship away from the Kami-sama,” continued Quinox, motioning towards the
gold-colored Mickey Mouse statuette sitting on the far end of the table.  “You
have broken the First Commandment.  More than that I’m afraid not ONE of you
passes for a decent human being.  Your continued existence is a mockery of
morality.  Like YOU...” Quinox pointed at one of the men sitting at the table,
the camera focusing in on his face.  “Last year you cheated on your wife of
seventeen years eight times.  You even had sex with her best friend while you
were supposed to be home watching...the...kids.”  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“In the bed that you and wife share, no less,” added
Dyne, chuckling.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“YOU,” continued Sailor Quinox, pointing at a
different person, “You got your girlfriend drunk at a party last year and then
paid a kid from the mail room to have sex with her while she was passed out
just so you could break up with her guilt-free when she sobbingly confessed to
you in the morning.  She killed herself three months later.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“YOU!”  The camera focused on a different man. 
“Disowned your gay son.  Very compassionate!  YOU!  You put your mother in a
third-rate nursing home and used the profits from the sale of HER home to buy
yourself an oriental rug.  Nice!  And YOU!  You flew to Thailand on the company
expense account to have sex with an eleven...year...old...BOY!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Jedite snickered and glanced at Hotaru.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I guess we know where you’ll be taking your next
vacation,” he remarked.  Hotaru growled and flipped him off.  Meanwhile,
Setsuna’s face had turned bright red.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“How did she know about my trip to Thailand?!!” she
whispered to herself.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“And YOU!” continued Quinox, “You okayed the
production of a line of Di$ney-authorized Happy-Meal toys from materials that
you knew to be toxic and unsafe because it was SURVEY SAYS?!  Less costly!  And
YOU...!”  By now Quinox was standing next to the one woman in the room.  “Are
an innocent.  You lead a good life.  Good for you!”  Quinox then turned and
walked over to the senior Di$ney exec and stood right next to him.  “But you,
Mr. Morden, you have more skeletons, and shadows,  in your closet than this
entire room put together.  So many that I dare not even mention them out
loud.”  She then delicately leaned down and began whispering in the senior
exec’s ear.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Now go for the tongue-kissing and start making out
with him!!” shouted Prof. Tomoe, “Get it on, baby!!  Lap-dance!!  Lap-dance!!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Aw dammit!” called out Michiru, “His brain is still
back at Planet Hentai!”  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I think it’s always going to be back there,” added
Minako.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Probably along with all of his spare money,” added
Hotaru.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The senior exec, Mr. Morden, suddenly burst out into
tears and sobbed silently.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You’re his father!” exclaimed Dyne, “You sick
f$^%!”  Sailor Quinox slowly walked out of the room, adding a sultry little
sway to her hips as she closed the door behind her, leaving the Di$ney execs
alone with Dyne.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Well!” declared Dyne as he stood up, “Alone at
last.  You know, with the exception of only one of you, there isn’t a single
decent human being in this room.  Not one.  Do you know what makes a human
being decent?  Fear.  Therein lies the problem.  None of you have anything left
to fear any more.  You rest comfortably in seats of inscrutable power, hiding
behind your false idol, far from judgement, lives shrouded in secrecy even from
one another.  But not from the Kami-sama.”  Fixing them all with a scornful
glare, Dyne started to leave.  Just as he got to the door, he suddenly turned
around.  “Oops!  Forgot my little voodoo doll.”  He walked back over to Mr.
Morden to pick up the carved onion figure, then stopped.  “Wow.  You know, it
really looks just like you!  I...you know, if I believed enough in this sort of
thing...I wonder.  I wonder.”  The camera closed in, focusing on the onion
figure as Dyne began passing his hands over it.  Moaning and mumbling dramatically,
Dyne kept moving his hands in the air directly above the figure.  A few seconds
later, Mr. Morden yelped and flinched as Dyne suddenly raised a fist and
brought it down hard on the onion figure, squashing it flat and sending pieces
spewing in all directions.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Scene switch.  C-Pov – right outside Ginga TV as
Teddy Ruxpin and Luna were sitting on a wall and nuzzling happily.  All of a
sudden, Teddy Ruxpin was flattened by an invisible force with such strength
that he popped like a balloon, explosively spewing cotton stuffing in all
directions.  Luna was instantly knocked backwards by the force of Teddy
Ruxpin’s flattening.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Oh my goddess!” cried Luna, “They killed Teddy! 
You bastards!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” screamed Artemis at the top
of his in mad, hysterical laughter, “Take that you wife-stealing
sonofabitch!!!”  </p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“They done killed Teddy Ruxpin!” exclaimed Haruka.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“GOOD!!!” shouted Setsuna, “I never liked him
anyway.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“How did they do that anyway?” asked Hotaru, “All
that Dyne guy did was squash an onion.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Hmph,” retorted Jedite, “It wasn’t that
impressive.  They should have gotten Luna, too.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The scene switched back to the meeting room when Mr.
Morden was slowly calming down and Dyne was wiping the onion mush off his hand.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I don’t believe in voodoo!” he told them all with a
laugh.  Shaking his head, Dyne left the meeting room, closing the door behind
him and laughing.  The various Di$ney execs looked at each other, started to
calm down a little, and tried to get back to work.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Ten seconds later the doors burst open again as
Gunarm Dyne stormed back in, carrying a fully-loaded pump-action shotgun.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“But I do believe in this!” he proclaimed.  The
meeting room immediately erupted into a panic as Dyne walked off camera.  The
camera remained focused on the doors, filming nothing of the obvious carnage as
the air was filled with gunshots, screaming, and a sudden spray of blood across
the door’s surface.  “DON’T RUN!  DON’T RUN!  PIGS!  PIGS!  ALL OF YOU PIGS! 
PIGS!  ALL OF YOU!  IN THE BED YOU AND YOUR WIFE SHARE NO LESS!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The entire Sub-Sen den erupted into wild, mad
laughter as the carnage began.  Even rei.bot was smirking in amusement.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Yes!  Yes!” screamed Jedite at the top of his
lungs, “Get ‘em!  Get ‘em!  Get ‘em all!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Die, Di$ney bastards!” shouted Prof. Tomoe.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“O-hohohohohohohohoho!” squealed Michiru in delight,
“I hope some of those guys are the ones responsible for creating the Sailor
Moon dub!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Wasn’t it DiC that was responsible for that?” asked
Minako.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Who cares!” shouted Haruka, “Di$ney sucks ass!!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“That’s way more than five shots!” called out
Hotaru, “That guy’s going nuts in there!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Good!  They deserve it!” cried Setsuna.  Artemis
was still laughing hysterically from the sudden unexpected pancaking of Teddy
Ruxpin.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Sailor Quinox sat outside the meeting room, flipping
through a magazine and listening to the sounds of shotguns blasting and Dyne
ranting loudly as he summarily executed the executives.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“But I do believe in this?” she wondered aloud,
“What does that mean anyway?”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“AND ONE TO GROW ON!!” shouted Dyne as he fired off
one last shot.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The scene switched back into the meeting room,
focusing in on a blood-speckled golden Mickey Mouse statuette.  Dyne took one
look at the statuette, then aimed at it and blew it to smithereens.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“YEAH!!” screamed Jedite, “Now THAT’S what I call a
buzz-clip!”  Professor Tomoe just headbanged wildly.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“No shit!” added Haruka.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Dyne helped a blood-spattered Miss Bryce to her feet
and smiled at her.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Gum?” he said, offering her a stick of gum.  She
slowly reached out and took the offered gum, staring at him in a complete
daze.  “It’s okay.  You’ve done nothing wrong.  These guys were pigs.  You’re a
pure soul.  But you didn’t bless me when I sneezed!!”  Dyne scowled and took
aim with the shotgun.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Dyne...!” warned Sailor Quinox from outside.  Dyne
stopped, then lowered his gun as he glared at the freaking-out Miss Bryce.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“You’re getting off light,” he warned her.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Dyne!!” called out Quinox again.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“I know!  I’m coming!” he shouted back.  Gunarm Dyne
quickly trotted over to the door.  “You’re so lucky!” he called back to Miss
Bryce as he left the room.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Shoot her!” screamed Jedite, “Shoot her!  Don’t
give her the chance to mess up!  Execute her now!”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Kill...kill...kill...kill...!” chanted Tomoe. 
Hotaru sighed in disgust.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Ugh!  You people are insane!” she cried.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The scene switched again, showing the Spores as they
rushed through the hallways of Galaxy TV.  Chibiusa was still carrying the
shotgun.  Turning a corner and screaming, she pumped the slide and fired...scoring
a direct hit on a water cooler which imploded on impact.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Uh...yeah,” commented Expel with a vapid, confused
expression on her face.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Nice going,” commented FishEye, “You killed a piece
of office equipment.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Kupi,” said NakoNako.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Great shot there, kiddo,” added Morrigan over the
radio, “Listen, you’d better pick up the pace and get your asses into Studio 4
‘cause the Sporehunters just got more competition and you’ve got company.”</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“What?!” cried Chibiusa.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>The scene switched, showing a security cam image of
Dartz, Raphael, Amelda, Valon, Mai Kujyaku, and ( oddly enough ) Anzu Mazaki
from Yu-Gi-Oh.  All of them had their duel-decks strapped to their forearms and
all of them were jogging down the hallway, splitting up as they reached a
junction.  The scene switched again, showing the Sporehunters as they moved
carefully down a different hallway, weapons ready.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Why is the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh joining in this?”
wondered Minako.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Hey, they’ve gotta pay for all of those cards they
use in their duels somehow, right?” replied Artemis.</p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>“Dammit!  I don’t see Seto Kaiba anywhere in their
group!” snapped Jedite, “I want to see that Blue-Eyes White Dragon of his
power-lunch that pink freak and shit her out its ass!”</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:14.0pt'>“</span><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>Yeah!  When Card-Monsters Go Bad!” laughed Tomoe,
“Watch them mutate into lecherous tentacle monsters and turn on their owners! 
Hey, that gives me a brilliant idea for a new kind of daimon!
Muahahahahahaha!”  Setsuna merely groaned loud, reached back with her arm, and
gave Prof. Tomoe a huge, resounding slap across his face.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey! 
Don’t hit my father like that!” objected Hotaru, “That’s my job!”  She quickly
gave Tomoe a light thwap upside his head.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched back to the Spores as Chibiusa led the mad rush down the
hallways.  Helios was still hobbling a little from the rough treatment he’d
received earlier, Nyanko was staying close to Helios ( mostly just to use him
as a shield ), FishEye was looking a little nervous, and Excel was holding
NakoNako by the horn and dragging her along faster than her little legs could
carry her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kupi!”
protested NakoNako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Come
on, little Kupi-thing!” stated Excel, happily, “Since Menchi seems to have
disappeared on me, *you’ll* have to fill in for her as my emergency food
supply!”  NakoNako immediately sweat-dropped.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Eeehhhhh! 
I need an ice-pack or something!” groaned Helios.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Stop
whining and keep moving!” ordered Nyanko, “You’re my emergency bullet shield!” 
FishEye suddenly pointed straight ahead.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Look! 
There’s Studio 1!” he called out.  Sure enough, the sign next to a door up
ahead clearly stated that it was Studio 1.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes!”
hissed Chibiusa, “Our studio’s got to be around here somewhere!”  As they kept
moving down the hallway, they passed by the bathrooms.  The women’s room door
was suddenly kicked open and a short, scrawny guy with green hair and wearing
glasses and a Duel-deck jumped out.  It was Insector Weevil from Yu-Gi-Oh.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ha-haaaaaah!!”
he screamed, “I’ve got you now, Spores!”  He whipped out one of his cards. 
“For my first move, I now summon...!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Brow-twitching
a little, Chibiusa brought her shotgun up to her shoulder and blasted Weevil,
literally blowing him out of his shoes and sending him flying backwards back
INTO the bathroom he’d leapt out of.  He slammed into the door so hard that he
splintered part of the paneling.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hunting
season is now open, jackass!” shouted Chibiusa.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”
screamed the Suburban Senshi in hysterical laughter.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Idiot!”
called out Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
a dumbass!” added Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
knew that would happen,” intoned Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Who
*couldn’t* see that one coming from a mile away?” retorted Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the hell was that creepy freakazoid doing in the women’s bathroom, anyway?”
wondered Minako.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
don’t want to know...” intoned rei.bot, “Weevil is a big pervert...much like
Tenchi’s dad.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Eh,
one less pervert in the world,” replied Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing one of the hallways as the Sporehunters quickly moved
through them.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the hell was that?!” demanded Leudast as the shotgun blast rang out.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Probably
one of those damn bounty jumpers getting their butt clobbered for chasing after
OUR prizes!” retorted Starcat.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That
wasn’t too far ahead of us, either!” called out Shaldra.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
Morrigan,” asked Kakyuu over the radio, “Are there any bounties on the other
bounty jumpers?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No,”
replied Morrigan quickly, “If there was then Sporehunt would quickly transform
into a war and that’s not what I want.  The only exception was Excel and she’s
a special case.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,”
added Adam, “A *basket* case!”  A few people burst out into chuckles.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“No
arguments there,” commented Leudast.  Meanwhile, Solarchos and Jupiter Knight
had rounded a corner...and stopped completely with confused expressions on
their faces.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“The
hell...?!” demanded Solarchos.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Just
around the corner was a small kitchen area where the Yu-Gi-Oh bounty hunters
were hanging out.  Mai was ravenously scarfing down some cake, Anzu, Dartz and
Raphael were further down the hall checking doors and investigating cubicles,
and Valon and Amelda were in the kitchen trying to satisfy their snack
cravings.  Valon was eagerly opening up a package of Jell-O while Amelda had
just finished putting a Pop-Tart inside a microwave over.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right,” commented Valon, “Time for me to make some Jell-O!  There we...what the
f#$%??!! It’s already done!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Mai
suddenly retched and gagged on the cake she was gobbling up, spitting out a
huge mouthful and rushing over to the refrigerator where she grabbed the first
bottle of water she could find and washed the taste out of her mouth.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ugh!”
she cried, “That’s not cake it’s *tofu*!!  What the hell kind of sick joke is
this?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Meanwhile,
Amelda took his Pop-tart out of the microwave and took a big time, then
grimaced.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
is this?” he wondered out loud to no-one in particular, “What is this?  I put
this in the microwave for three seconds.  I...I put this in the microwave for
*three* seconds!  That’s all it needs!  It needs three seconds to warm up! 
It’s a pastry!” </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-pov
– the camera panned over to where the Sporehunters were standing and watching
the whole scene with growing expressions of confusion on their faces. 
Sweatdrops and face-faults were slowly but surely forming.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Pastries...only
need three seconds to warm up!  It’s ridiculous!” ranted Amelda as he continued
to freak out.  “I can’t believe it.  I really can’t believe that this is
happening right now.  My Pop-tart is still cold...after *three* seconds!  My
Pop-tart...is *still*...COLD!!!”  With a loud scream of outrage, Amelda flung
his Pop-tart into the nearest wall and proceeded to start hammering on the
offending microwave oven.  Valon and Mai quickly joined in and began bashing
the hell out of the kitchenette, breaking and throwing everything they could
get their hands on that wasn’t bolted down...and ripping out and flinging
several things that were as they proceeded to take their revenge on the shoddy
American appliances and crappy American food.  The background music (
fast-placed classical opera ) was playing loudly as the carnage continued and
now all of the Sporehunters as well as Dartz, Raphael, and Anzu were standing
idly by and watching it all happen with massive facefaults.  Just then Dyne and
Quinox came around the corner.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey
you guys!” called out Quinox as she caught sight of the Sporehunters, “It’s
about time we caught up with you.  How are...you...THE HELL??!!”  She and Dyne
immediately joined everyone else in facefaulting at the scene before them.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the f&amp;%^ are those morons doing??!!” shouted Dartz.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Having
a nervous breakdown choreographed with classical music?” suggested Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Not
a bad choice of music when you think about it,” commented Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Those
morons have too much time on their hands,” commented Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Either
that or their brains have been fried by the ink of their duel cards,” suggested
Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’m
guessing it’s the latter,” said Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
buttf#$%er!!” shouted a young voice directly behind Dartz.  Dartz merely smiled
and turned around slowly to face her, smirking coyly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Ah,
there you are Miss Chibiusa Tsukino,” he stated knowingly, “I expected you to
show up sooner, but then again I overestimated your abilities...”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>CHA-KLACK!! 
Dartz’ eyes popped open as he realized that Chibiusa was holding a pump-action
shotgun aimed directly at his crotch.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Overestimate
THAT, bishie-boy!!  BONG!” shouted Helios from further down the hallway. 
Snickering, Chibiusa pulled the trigger and was almost knocked off her feet by
the recoil of the shotgun going off.  Dartz, on the other hand, took a direct
hit in his abdomin and was hurled backwards by the impact, slamming him into
the wall so hard that he left a huge dent in the plaster, then crumpled to the
ground, curling up in a fetal ball as he hit the floor.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“IT’S
THE SPORES!!!” shouted Jup.Knight, “Let ‘em have it!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Gah!! 
The Sporehunters are here, too?!” screamed Nyanko, “Run for it!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Noooooo!”
wailed Fish-Eye, “They’ll mess up by pretty face beyond all recognition!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Well,
Excel’s not running this time!” shouted Excel as she stepped out into the
hallway towards Anzu and Raphael.  All of a sudden Excel was wearing a
Duel-deck on her arm, much to the surprise of everyone.  “It’s time to DUEL!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the frell?” demanded Solarchos.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Say
wha...?!” stammered Seiya.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Since
when does Excel play Duel Monsters?” asked Starcat.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Since
now, obviously,” replied Valon.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
stupid!!” shouted Mai, calling out to Excel, “You’re wearing your duel-deck
*backwards * dumbass!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Can
I please blow her brains out now?” inquired Kakyuu.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Nah,
let’s wait a minute or two,” replied Raphael, “Let’s see just how bad that
freaky redhead screws it up for herself.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
she WILL screw this up,” stated Haruka, “That’s a foregone conclusion.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So
Excel plays Yu-Gi-Oh?” began Hotaru, “What kind of deck does she play anyway?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Knowing
her, it’s probably an ACROSS deck,” said Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What’s
in an ACROSS deck, anyway?” asked Prof. Tomoe.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Probably
lots and lots of useless Puchuus,” replied Setsuna, “The carnage value should
be nothing short of awesome.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Not
to mention the stupidity exhibited by Excel,” added Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Anzu
stepped up to Excel.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right,” she stated, “I accept your challenge.  Your move!”  Excel chuckled
evilly as she drew her first card with a flourish.  Down at the corner of the
TV screen Excel’s life points appeared at 8000.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“For
my opening move I summon Loyal Minion Ha-chan in attack mode!!!” shrieked Excel
as she laid down her card into one of the slots on her Duel-deck.  With a flash
of light, Hyaat appeared before Excel wearing her usual purple and red outfit. 
Hyaat’s attack and defense points appeared as well ( dedodedodedodedo ) ATT :
1000, DEF : 1000.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hi!”
stated Hyaat as she materialized, waving and smiling.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Loyal
Minion Ha-chan?!” retorted Anzu, “I’ve never heard of that card before!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yes,
it’s one of Lord Ilpulazzo’s own design!” gloated Excel, “If she’s ever placed
in my graveyard, she’ll just reappear in defense mode at the start of my next
turn!” Another huge hologram of a card appeared face-down near the floor.  “And
I’ll finish my turn by laying one card face-down!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'> “THE
HELL??!!” demanded all of the Sporehunters as they watched the proceedings
closely.  The Spores, meanwhile, were huddled amongst themselves for a few
seconds…then they quickly dashed away.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dammit!”
shouted Shaldra, “They’re getting away!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Huh?”
asked Jup.Knight.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What?”
added Leudast.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Criminey! 
We were so fixated on that bunghole Excel that we totally didn’t see them all
leave!” cried Starcat angrily.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“KILL
HER!!” shouted Solarchos as he raised his weapon and took aim at Excel’s head. 
Snickering evilly, Dyne, Kakyuu, and Leudast all took aim.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hold
on there, folks,” began Valon as he raised his arm to block everyone’s line of
sight, “Let’s make a deal here.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Such
as?” inquired Adam.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
don’t know about you people,” continued Valon, “But I’m in the mood to see what
this Excel-bimbo’s made of.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“It’d
be interesting to see if she’s actually as pathetic as she looks,” added
Raphael.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh,
she is!!” cried Hotaru, “She most certainly is!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Here’s
the idea,” stated Amelda, “We’ll keep the idiotic red-head here busy while you
guys take out the rest of her crew.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“We’ll
just keep her preoccupied for a bit,” said Mai, “I want to see how this duel
ends.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So
that afterwards everyone can point at Excel and laugh their asses off at her,”
stated Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I’d
rather just smash her head open with a sledge hammer,” said Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“That’s
assuming she loses this duel,” added Minako, “What if she wins?”  Everyone just
stared at Minako silently.  Then burst out laughing at her while she fumed
silently.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“So
after the duel the time-out’s done and it’s back to the hunt?” asked Quinox. 
Amelda, Mai, Valon, and Raphael all nodded.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Although,
standard Sporehunt rules apply – if we catch her we keep the bounty!” stated
Raphael.  Solarchos just sighed.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Fine! 
Whatever.  The rest of the Spores are getting away!” he called out.  All of the
Sporehunters immediately took off down the hallway, skirting around Anzu, Dartz
( who was still alive and writhing around on the floor, completely forgotten ),
and Excel as Anzu prepared to make her first move in what would probably be the
weirdest duel of her life.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
scene switched, showing Insector Weevil laying on the floor of the women’s
bathroom.  His shirt was ripped up pretty badly, but no blood discolored it.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Stun
rounds, even when fired by a shotgun, weren’t lethal.  Weevil’s eyes popped
open and he groaned loudly in pain as he sat up.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Oh
no!” he groaned, “They got away!  Dammit!  Where’d they go?!  Bastards!!”  All
of a sudden one of the toilets flushed and a stall door opened.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
worry, young man,” stated a tall man wearing a tan business suit with bushy
curly hair, thick glasses, and a huge mustache to match as he stepped out of
the stall in question.  “Those criminals will be made to pay for their crimes
against this city.” The screen froze for a second on him and his name appeared
in subtitles : Kabapu.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What
the hell’s he doing in the women’s bathroom?!” demanded Setsuna.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Being
a pervert?” offered Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What,
any more than bug-boy lying on the floor there?” added Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kabapu? 
Dammit!  It’s not Nabeshin!  I want Nabeshin!” snapped Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Weevil
slowly dragged himself to his feet as Kabapu washed his hands, giving Kabapu an
odd look as he did so.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Uh…what
are you doing here in the women’s bathroom?” asked Weevil.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Tracking
down those criminals who are a blight on this fair city,” replied Kabapu, “I am
here to track them down and destroy them.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Track
them down?” asked Weevil, “How?  They could be anywhere by now.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
know what they’re thinking,” stated Kabapu confidently, “They must’ve taken the
passages going further into the building instead of leaving and escaping into
the streets where there’d be more places to hide.  I know this.  I was trained
at FBI headquarters in Langley.  I’m an expert at profiling!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“An
expert?” asked Weevil, somewhat impressed, “So where exactly in the building
are they, expert?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Don’t
worry,” replied Kabapu, “I’ll track them down easily.  I’m also an expert
tracker.  I grew up at Yellowstone National Park in Canada.  A natural born
hunter!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“A
hunter?” asked Weevil, “So were are they now?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hunt
this!” snapped Jedite as he flipped off the TV.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Canada?!”
called out Setsuna, “Yellowstone National Park’s in the United States, not
Canada!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Poser!”
shouted Artemis.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>C-Pov
– directly at a door leading into one of the studios.  Specifically, Studio
Four.  Beside the door a red light was glowing brightly.  Next to the light was
a sign clearly stating do not enter : filming in process.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
Suburban Senshi watched silently as slow dramatic music started playing.  The
camera switched to floor level as someone wearing black shoes shined to a
mirror finish stepped out.  The C-Pov switched again, slowly panning outwards
across a massive kitchen.  Counters and cookers ringed the perimeter of a huge
circular room.  A distinguished-looking middle-aged man slowly stepped out into
the middle of a landing at the top of a short flight of stairs.  The camera did
a close up of the man’s face as he stared out across the set.  At finely
polished silverware.  At crystal glasses.  At succulent meats, spices, herbs,
and vegetables.  He then reached down, picked up a fresh yellow bell pepper,
looked at it for a brief moment…then took a huge, sudden bite out of it,
smiling broadly as he began to chew.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Chairman
Takeshi Kaga of the Gourmet Academy then looked directly at the camera as it
began to rapidly back away.  The lights came on, showing the dozens of
smartly-dressed chefs standing stiffly at attention within the huge kitchen
area known around the world as Kitchen Stadium.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Iron
Chef had begun.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Holy
crap!” exclaimed Haruka, “Did somebody accidentally record Iron Chef over part
of Sporehunt?!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“They’d
better not!” snarled Michiru, “If that’s the case then heads will roll!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Who’s
heads?” asked Artemis.  Rei.bot promptly pointed at Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Meanwhile,
Chairman Kaga began his opening statements.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Kitchen
Stadium has always served as the focal point of greatness,” he stated, “Every
single chef who has entered and left this place has always been a person of
exceptional skill and caliber.  That ability, however, has always seemed to
have been possessed by those who’ve honed it over decades of work and
experience.  Never before have I ever found such experience and ability
possessed by someone as young as the one who joins us now.  Let’s bring her
out!  Makoto Kino!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Mako-chan!!”
cried Minako happily, clapping.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Makoto’s
in this?!” exclaimed Artemis, “This is a surprise!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
knew this would happen,” intoned Setsuna.  Rei.bot just rolled her eyes.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
right,” quipped Jedite, “Next you’ll be telling us there’s rings around
Ur-anus!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Makoto
Kino walked into Kitchen Stadium amidst applause from the audience.  Smiling
radiantly, she walked up to Chairman Kaga and bowed deeply.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Welcome,
young lady,” stated Chairman Kaga, “Welcome to my Stadium.  You are not the
first woman to have participated on Iron Chef, but are certainly the youngest. 
To find such a prodigy as you is rare indeed.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Thank
you, Chairman Kaga,” replied Makoto, “I’ve always dreamed of owning my own
restaurant, but I never imagined I’d get a chance to come here to Kitchen
Stadium!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“You
have been considered by many to be one of the best cooks in Juuban Province,”
said Chairman Kaga, “And the fact that you are so young makes that doubly
impressive.  But now comes the test.  Are you ready, young one?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hai!”
exclaimed Makoto, “I’m ready for whatever the Gourmet Academy has!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Good! 
Your eagerness will serve you well.  Now, let’s call upon the pride of Gourmet
Academy : the three Iron Chefs.  I summon the Iron Chefs!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
stadium darkened and the music started playing as the three Iron Chefs were
slowly lifted up into Kitchen Stadium.  Makoto watched with barely contained
excitement as Iron Chef Japanese (Rokusaburo Michiba ), Iron Chef Chinese (
Chen Kenichi ), and Iron Chef French ( Hiroyuki Sakai ) made their ascent
before her.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Now
I ask you,” continued Chairman Kaga, “Who do you choose to compete your talents
against?”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Chen
Kenichi!  Iron Chef Chinese!” cried Makoto, “I choose you!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What? 
Did he suddenly become a new pokemon?” remarked Haruka.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Hey,
it could happen,” replied Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
his special power would be to slaughter and cook his opponents in various
highly creative and delicious ways,” said Hotaru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“In
that case, I’d like to have one,” added Jedite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Iron
Chef Chinese quickly made his way down next to Makoto, bowing to her and
shaking her hand.  The two of them quickly put on their aprons and stood before
the Chairman as he prepared to unveil the ingredient.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“For
tonight’s match, I figured it was time to try out an ingredient that, while
certainly edible and healthy, has long been received poorly by all who taste
it,” stated the Chairman, “Tonight I stand in the presence of two masters.  One
young, one old.  Tonight, we shall all see whether this ingredient can be
successfully utilized by you both.  Kitchen Stadium has always set the bar high
for its competitors, and tonight shall be no different!  We unveil the
ingredient!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>The
Suburban Senshi all leaned forward and watched in awe as Chairman Kaga whipped
off the veil and tonight’s ingredient was shone to everyone.  Amidst the usual
fanfare, a finely appointed table laden down with huge cuts of meat ascended
into Kitchen Stadium…</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Unfortunately,
sitting on the table was NakoNako, who just stared around in confusion.  Hiding
underneath the table were Chibiusa, Helios, FishEye, and Tin Nyanko.  They all
sweatdropped as their cover was blown instantly.  No one, however, paid them
any attention.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Today’s
theme is…!” proclaimed Chairman Kaga, “…HORSE!!”  NakoNako immediately burst
out into terrified screams.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“What??!”
shrieked Helios, “Horse??!!”  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!”
screamed Nyanko as she stared out at the audience…and almost immediately caught
sight of the Sporehunters sitting patiently, waiting for them to arrive. 
Shaldra and Quinox waved happily back at her.  Kakyuu just gave her the finger.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“And
now…AR’E CUISINE!!!” screamed Chairman Kaga as he began Kitchen Stadium’s
newest battle…in more ways than one.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<h1>Intermission – Sporehunt will resume in Five Minutes</h1>

<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center;text-indent:.5in'><b><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></b></p>

<p class=MsoBodyTextIndent>Jedite groaned loudly.</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Dammit! 
Just when it was getting good!” he griped.  Minako burst out into loud wails.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“NakoNako…!!”
she sobbed, “Those mean Sporehunters are going to blow her away on Iron Chef!!”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“If
we’re lucky…” grumbled Michiru.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Maybe
they’ll cook Teddy Ruxpin, too!” added Artemis.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Then
they could blow away Excel on international television, too!” stated Professor
Tomoe, “And people say there isn’t any quality programming on television any
more!  Muahahahahahah!!”  Just then there came a knocking on the door.  While
Hotaru dashed to the bathroom, Haruka quickly went over to the door and opened
it.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Yeah,
what?!  We’re watching Sporehunt here…!”  With a loud whap Haruka took a direct
hit to the side of her face from an open-handed slap from Nephrite.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YOU
BASTARD, TEN’OU!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs, “You burned down my
house!!  It’s on now!!”  With a huge kiai, Nephrite dove on top of Haruka and
proceeded to pimp-slap the hell out of Haruka.  Rei.bot smiled wryly.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“I
knew that would happen,” intoned Setsuna.  Michiru groaned loudly as the fight
in the entry hall continued.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Tell
us something we don’t know that actually HELPS!!!” she shouted.  </span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“All
right,” replied Setsuna, smiling a little, “We’re out of toilet paper.”</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“YOU
COULDN’T HAVE TOLD ME THAT TEN SECONDS AGO??!!” screamed Hotaru from the
bathroom.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>“Not
as fun,” intoned rei.bot as she continued to smirk, enjoying the antics of
Hotaru’s frustration combined with Haruka and Nephrite pummeling each other
senseless while everyone else watched.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Yes…tonight
was going to be a night long remembered.</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<h1>End of Part Eight</h1>

<p class=MsoNormal>&nbsp;</p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><i><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Will
Excel actually win her duel against Anzu?  </span></i><span style='font-size:
12.0pt'>( Tomoe : “Kill her now and save her the humiliation!” )</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><i><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Will
Luna and Teddy Ruxpin ever marry? </span></i><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>(
Artemis : “No!  Never!  I’ll claw that plushie bear’s eyes out myself!” )</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><i><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Will
another of the Spores fall to the Sporehunters?</span></i><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'> ( Michiru : “I’m voting out Chibiusa.  I hope her
death is slow and painful.” )<i> </i></span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><i><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Will
Makoto’s cuisine reign supreme in Kitchen Stadium?</span></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><i><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><i><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>Find
out in Episode Nine of Sporehunt!!</span></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><i><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></i></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:12.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

<p class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'><span style='font-size:14.0pt'>&nbsp;</span></p>

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[[Category: Solarchos]] [[Category:SSEU Stories]] [[Category:The Suburban Senshi]]