Anime MXC

Anime MXC – Battle One

Team Yugi vs. Team Kaiba

 

 

“What are these people running from? They’re not! They’re running to...the world’s toughest competition in town! Today the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh faces off against each other in mortal combat! The duel masters themselves will be battling for supremacy on Anime MXC! Most Extreme Elimination Challenge! Now for our hosts...Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano!”

 

The scene switched to a pair of Japanese men standing on the balcony of a dojo, both dressed in daimyo robes.

“Today’s a special day for everyone here at MXC,” began Vic Romano, “Today is our very first episode of Anime MXC, where some of our land’s most well-known and beloved icons get to participate in honorable sports competition, aided by some of their most devoted fans.”

“Yeah!” added Kenny Blankenship, “We’ll get to see hot anime chicks beating each other up in mud pits while guys driving big gigantic robots blow the crap out of everyone else! It’s gonna be great!” Vic thwapped Kenny on the head with a paper fan.

“Kenny! That’s not what this is about!” retorted Vic, “This is all about fans getting to meet their idols and cultural icons branching out into new directions to touch more people’s lives all over the world. It’s not about shameless fanservice, wanton destruction, and schoolgirls getting assaulted by lecherous aliens with tentacles!”

“It’s not?!” cried Kenny, “But that’s the best part about anime!”

“Well, I’m obviously wasting my time trying to get my point across to you,” stated Vic, “So we’ll just go over to a guy who does get the point! Take it away, Gee!”

 

The scene switched, showing a short mustached Japanese man dressed in an African safari outfit, who was holding a microphone in one hand and a set of binoculars in the other. The words at the bottom of the screen read “Guy LeDouche – reporter on the scene”.

“Gee LeDouche here,” he began, “And I must say that I’m extremely excited at being here today. I brought my binoculars along so that I won’t miss a moment of the hot anime girl-on-girl-on-girl action!” Guy immediately started giggling. “We start today’s animated carnage with “Dope on a Rope” ( the video cutaway showed Yugi Matou swinging on a rope over a huge mud pit ), followed by the always satisfying “Big Brass Balls” ( the video cutaway showed Black Magician Girl holding a gold-painted soccer ball and inching her way slowly over a rickety, narrow bridge while volleyballs were shooting past her on either side ), next we’ll witness the scintillating non-stop action of “Door Jam” ( the video cutaway showed a top-down view of Pegasus Crawford trying to find his way through a maze of small hexagonal-shaped rooms-of-doors while three big burly guys hunted for him ), and then finally we top it all off with the wildly unpredictable “Log Drop” ( the video cutaway showed Anzu Mazaki on a huge wooden roller suspended over an equally huge mud-filled ditch, trying to jump to the next roller without making it spin ). Gee is already getting excited at the thought of so many pretty anime-girls here, so I’ll end it here so I can...calm down! Ghu-hu-hu-hu! Take it away, skipper!”

 

The scene switched over to a wooded area where the contestants were all sitting. Sitting on one side of the clearing were none other than Yugi Matou, Rebecca, Katsuya Jyoonouchi and his sister Shizuka, Hiroto Honda, Anzu Mazaki, Ryuuji Otogi, Pegasus J. Crawford, Black Magician Girl, a tall, thick-set young Westerner with unruly brown hair, wearing a set of brown and grey robes (SenshiGuardian of the Suburban Senshi Signal Corps ), an equally tall girl with short sandy-blond hair wearing men’s clothing ( Haruka Ten’oh of Sailor Moon ), and a youthful-looking, well-endowed teenaged girl with short blond hair and bright green eyes ( Matsumi Kaze, also known as Sailor Quinox). Sitting on the other side of the clearing, noticeably separated by a space of several feet ( no one wanted to get within arms-reach of Yugi’s team ) were none other than Seto Kaiba ( owner of KaibaCorp ), his younger brother Mokuba, Mai Kujyaku, Insector Weevil Naga, Ryuusaki, the former king of Atlantis Dartz and his three henchmen, Amelda, Varon, and Raphael, as well as a slender, delicate-looking young girl with a pale complexion, black hair, and violet eyes who looked like a dead ringer of Hotaru Tomoe from Sailor Moon ( actually, it was Hotaru’s clone who’d affectionately been dubbed Clone-chan ). On either side of Clone-chan sat a couple of American men. The first was tall, stern-looking guy with dirty-blond hair, several days worth of stubble, and tattoos going down his arm ( Wolfwood of the Suburban Senshi Signal Corps ). The second guy was a tall young man wearing a rainbow-colored tuxedo, a similarly colored tophat, black dress shoes, a white mask, and a black cape with blue trim (Tuxedo Rainbow of the Suburban Senshi Signal Corps) . No one was wearing a Duel-Deck as they’d all been left behind ( mostly just to prevent someone from summoning a dragon and wrecking the entire place ). Standing in front of them all, preparing to address them, was a distinguished-looking Japanese man wearing a ceremonial military uniform, yellow rubber galoshes, and leaning on a white cane. The subtitles identified him as “Captain Tenneal – Field Marshall”.

“Thanks, Gee!” replied Captain Tenneal, “Now...how many of you believe that the new sport of Duel-Monstering, or the “Shadow Games” as they have been dubbed in some circles, is a worthwhile endeavor, worthy of the time, attention, fandom, and resources put into helping everyone realize it? Show of hands...now!” Everyone happily raised their hands and cheered.

“It rocks!” shouted Katsuya.

“Duel-Monstering is life!” added Varon.

“Heh, well...you’re wrong!” retorted Captain Tenneal, “Duel-Monstering is just a fad, like pet rocks and the hula-hoop. It causes you, our young generation, to waste time better spent preparing yourselves to enter the workforce and squander it all playing around with forces beyond your comprehension. In fact, it’s highly doubtful any of you will earn any kind of real money in the future. Am I right? Of course I am! I’m the Captain.” Seto Kaiba suddenly stood up.

“I’ll have you know I own my own corporation,” he snarled, “I have more money than all of you losers put together!”

“My company became just as wealthy creating and marketing my precious Duel-Cards!” objected Pegasus.

“You’ll be singing a different tune once the Beast of Atlantis consumes your soul, fool!” shouted Dartz as he pointed accusingly at Captain Tenneal.

“Hey, kid,” stated the Captain, addressing Dartz, “Here’s a hint – lighten up on the bleach in your hair. It’s seeping into your brain.” Everyone burst out laughing at Dartz, who just got more flustered.

“Speaking of the Beast of Atlantis,” added Hiroto, “Didn’t we clobber your ass, Dartz?”

“You haven’t beaten me yet! I shall prevail!!” screamed Dartz. Meanwhile, the Captain had stepped back a little.

“That kid needs help,” he mumbled to himself. Turning to face the two teams ( Team Yugi and Team Kaiba ), he raised his cane, then swung it around dramatically and pointed down the path. “L-l-l-l-l-l-let’s go!!” With a big cheer everyone leapt to their feet and began rushing downhill towards the obstacle course. The Captain ran with them the whole way, leading them to the first obstacle – “Dope on a Rope”.

 

“Dope on a Rope” consisted of a huge roughly circular mud pit. Starting at the “2 o’clock” position was a raised walkway where a contestant would take hold of a rope, run along the length of the walkway, and they swing out over the mud pit. Their momentum and centrifugal force would then swing them around clockwise towards a four-foot wide platform at the “10 o’clock” position. The objective was to land on the platform without falling off. Hold onto the rope too high and they wouldn’t swing out far enough to land on the target. Hold onto the rope too low and the contestant would swing *into * the target. Starting the swing with too much or too little speed would also lead to a free mud-bath.

“And it has begun!” began Vic Romano’s voiceover as everyone kept rushing down the hill, running around the camera, “Teams Yugi and Kaiba are out of the gates and raring to go! Our first battleground of the day is “Dope on a Rope”, where contestant A has to swing onto platform B without landing in mystery sludge C! And what is today’s mystery sludge, Kenny?”

“It’s Godzilla’s own special brand of compost!” replied Kenny, “So you know it’s especially foul!” The scene switched to the obstacle site. Standing near the running walkway was Captain Tenneal as he blew on a whistle.

“Get it on!” he called out.

“First up is Team Yugi’s leader, Yugi Matou, one of the world’s highest-ranking Duelists,” announced Vic’s voiceover. Yugi quickly trotted up and grabbed hold of the rope.

“The Heart of the Cards shall guide us to victory!” he called out, confidently. Adjusting his grip, Yugi carefully scanned the field, then began running along the walkway. Reaching the end, he leapt out into the air, gripping the rope tightly. The rope snapped taut as his weight and momentum began to make him arc around...

...then his hands slipped.

“Gaaaaaahhhhh!!!” screamed Yugi as he fell, striking the surface of the mud head-first and submerging all the way up to his waist with a huge splut.

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!!!” Everyone in Team Kaiba, from Seto and Mokuba all the way to Mai and Weevil, fell to the ground in mad, hysterical, sidesplitting laughter at the sight of Yugi’s fall.

“Oh my goddess that’s awesome!!” shrieked Mai.

“I got my wish!!” cried Seto, tears streaming from his eyes, “I got it!”

“Oooo...head first!” commented Wolfwood, cringing a little, but snickering all the same.

“Witnessing that one single moment just made up for 10000 years of defeat!” cried Dartz, “Oh, that was just so beautiful!!” Meanwhile, Yugi was slowly extricating himself from the mud, his famous tri-colored hairdo now plastered flat against his head.

“Oh! And Team Yugi’s leader is down!” announced Vic, “Most unfortunate.”

“Yeah, the Heart of the Cards boned him up the ass!” added Kenny.

“And that’s our first MXC Impact Replay of the day!” announced Vic as a slow-motion replay of Yugi’s bungled attempt was replayed on the TV, “Here you see him beginning the swing, but then he loses his grip and down he goes.”

“Yeah, just look at him go face-first into it,” added Kenny as the image zoomed in to the expression on Yugi’s face a split-second before he hit the mud, “I guess the weight of all that styling gel in his hair was just too much.”

“Next up,” continued Vic, “It’s the leader of Team Kaiba, Seto Kaiba himself!” Seto stepped up to the walkway...and immediately started laughing again as he watched Yugi getting pulled out by some of the MXC staff.

“Oh, seeing that just made my day!” sighed Seto. Regaining his composure, Seto took a few steps back, gauged everything, and rushed down the walkway. Leaping off, he held on as the rope snapped taut, carried him around, and then...

...Seto’s legs made contact with the side of the target platform. Quickly letting go of the rope, he allowed his bodies’ momentum to carry him forward onto the middle of the circular, padded plinth. With a loud thump Seto landed on his back. He then sat up and grinned happily, raising his arm in victory.

“And he’s made it!” announced Vic, “Seto Kaiba has scored one for his side!”

“Way to go, big brother!” called out Mokuba as the people of Team Kaiba started clapping and cheering.

“Nicely done!” called out Clone-chan.

“Goooooo Kaiba!” yelled Tuxedo Rainbow.

“You owned that obstacle!” shouted Ryuusaki.

“Hey, that looked like fun!” added Varon.

“Ahhh...Seto just got lucky, that’s all!” shouted back Katsuya from Team Yugi. Black Magician Girl just stuck out her tongue at Team Kaiba.

“Let’s see you do better, Jyoonouchi!!” retorted Varon.

“You got it, buddy!” replied back Katsuya, “You and me up next!”

“Agreed!” answered Varon.

“It looks like there’s already rivalry between the members of the two teams,” announced Vic, “It looks like next up is Katsuya Jyoonouchi of Team Yugi!” Katsuya took hold of the rope from Captain Tenneal. “He’s the owner of the world’s first ecchi-harpy deck!”

“Beloved by bird-lovers everywhere!” added Kenny.

“Don’t worry, Yugi!” shouted Katsuya, “I’ll score one for our side!”

“Kick ass, brother!” called out Shizuka.

“Take a dive, Katsuya!!” taunted Raphael.

“Have fun in that mud! Yugi sure looked like he was enjoying it!” added Dartz. Katsuya ignored them as he took hold of the rope and charged down the walkway. Leaping off the edge, he began his swing, blanching a little as he realized he’d gone too fast, putting himself into a moderately fast swing.

“Wwwhhhooooooooaaaaaaa...!” he cried.

“Oh no!” cried Rebecca.

“Oh my” commented Pegasus, “This looks problematic for him.”

“Fall...! Fall...! Fall...! Fall...!” chanted everyone in Team Kaiba.

 

At the last moment, Katsuya let go of the rope and smacked into the side of the target platform. Hanging onto the edge, his feet were scant inches above the surface of the mud. With a huge tortured groan, Katsuya slowly pulled himself up and onto the target. Team Yugi immediately burst out into cheers.

“And Katsuya Jyoonouchi manages to pull himself up and pull it off!” announced Vic, “Scoring one for his team and tying it with Team Kaiba!”

“Next up is Varon of Team Kaiba...and he doesn’t look too happy about the other guy winning,” continued Kenny. By now Varon, who was looking a little miffed, was waiting on the walkway for the rope to be handed to him.

“Do you think that impressed me, Katsuya?” taunted Varon as he watched Katsuya come down off the target platform, “I’ll show you how something like this is done with panache!”

“Just take the swing you moron!” shouted Seto. Taking hold of the rope, Varon began his play.

 

Picking up as much speed as possible, Varon dashed down the walkway and leapt into the air. His grip slipped slightly as the rope snapped taut, but he held on as he began to swing around. Lifting his legs up to build even more momentum, Varon angled towards the target, preparing to leap off, twirl once or twice, and land dead-center with impressive perfection.

Instead, he let go, somersaulted once, and landed completely wrong and off-center. His foot slipped out from underneath him and his inertia carried him right off the platform. Flailing around helplessly, Varon landed right on his ass in the mud with a gigantic splash.

“Oh! And he is down!” announced Vic.

“Yeah, looks like he was attempting a 10-point landing, but instead got a face-full of mudpie!” added Kenny.

“Oh yeah!” jeered Katsuya, “You really impressed me!”

“Good job you idiot!” shouted Amelda.

“That’s what you get for screwing around, dumbass!” added Raphael. Everyone else just facefaulted.

 

“Next up, it’s Hiroto Honda of Team Yugi,” announced Vic. Hiroto quickly rushed up to the walkway.

“Team Yugi’s going to blow you guys out of the water, Team Kaiba!” he shouted.

“We’re number one!” cried Rebecca, hopping up and down, “We’re number one!”

“Ahhhhh! Get on with it!!” shouted Team Kaiba in unison. The Captain handed Hiroto the rope. Taking it, Hiroto began his rush down the walkway. Leaping off, he began his fast swing around the circumference of the mud pit. Quickly closing towards the target platform, Hiroto let go...

...and managed to land on it. He quickly fell to his hands and knees in an attempt to keep from falling over the side. Then , with a triumphant shout, he got to his feet, much to the delight of his friends.

“And Team Yugi scores another point!” announced Vic as Hiroto got down off the platform. Katsuya quickly rushed up and high-fived Hiroto, while Seto pointedly ignored them both.

 

“Next up for Team Kaiba is Clone-chan from Suburban Senshi,” stated Vic, “She’s a clone of the famous Sailor Saturn but with half the Gothiness and twice the cuteness.”

“A winning combination in my book!” commented Kenny. Meanwhile, Clone-chan trotted up to the starting point.

“Here I go!” she called out, “Wish me luck!”

“Go for it, Clone-chan!” called out Matsumi. A few people on Team Yugi just stared at Matsumi oddly.

“Who’s side are you on, anyway?” asked Ryuuji. Matsumi stuck her tongue out at Ryuuji as Clone-chan began her swing.

Holding onto the rope tightly and jogging quickly down the runway, Clone-chan launched herself into the air. The rope snapped taut in her hands, making her slip an inch or two as the centrifugal force asserted itself. Still, she managed to hang on as she continued to swing around. At the last moment, Clone-chan let go and landed...

...directly on the target platform with an audible thump! Getting to her feet, Clone-chan waved her hands happily and hopped down onto firm ground.

“And she’s done it!” announced Vic, “Clone-chan has scored a point for Team Kaiba!”

“Nice form, too,” added Kenny, “Just look at how those shorts are hugging her butt.”

 

“Coming up next is Team Yugi’s final runner for this course,” stated Vic, “It’s Haruka Ten’oh of Suburban Senshi. We got a chance to talk to her beforehand. Let’s hear what she had to say.” The scene switched to show a still picture of Haruka facing the camera with some text off to the side. Likes – fast and hot cars, faster and hotter women. Dislikes – People who drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane, pink-haired “lolitas” Goals – To marry some girl who’s stinking rich and live like royalty for the rest of her days. Then the paused-still began moving again.

“I’m here to make myself look uber-cool and impress my girlfriend who kinda thinks I’m a slob,” said Haruka.

“Oh, but you look so sure and calm and manly!” replied Guy LeDouche, “You’ve certainly impressed Gee!” Haruka just smirked and laughed a little.

“Well, somebody’s gotta watch out for the rest of the people from Suburban Senshi,” continued Haruka, “I’m gonna win this competition, get that prize money, and totally look awesome doing it. You see, I’ve got a secret weapon and a plan!” Haruka winked at the camera. The scene switched back to the starting point of Dope on a Rope where Haruka was taking hold of the rope.

“This one’s for you, Michi!!” she yelled. Haruka took a few steps back, then reached into her pocket and activated the Perfection Field. Suddenly, a strange aura seemed to wrap itself around Haruka, giving her skin a rosy glow and an almost unearthly grace in her movements. A gentle breeze whipped by, carrying with it a small clutch of cherry blossom flower-petals that billowed slowly by. With slow deliberate grace, Haruka took hold of the rope and gazed out upon Team Kaiba, smiling warmly. Suddenly, Haruka dashed forward, the Perfection Field making her seem to move with surreal slowness as she swung through the air, arced around the periphery of the course, and landed with breathtaking ease and grace on the target platform. Haruka didn’t even get so much as a smudge on her slacks.

“And Haruka Ten’oh gracefully earns Team Yugi a point!” called out Vic as Haruka hopped down from the platform, “Such grace! Such perfection! I’ve never seen anything like it!”

“Curse you, Haruka!” yelled Wolfwood.

“Hey! She’s using one of those Perfection Field generators!” called out Mai.

“Hmph!” grumbled Seto to Haruka as she walked up next to him, “I’m impressed.”

“With my excellence of execution and the ease in which my team’ll cream you?” asked Haruka.

“No,” replied Seto, not bothering to even look in Haruka’s direction, “I’m impressed at how utterly lame you must be to have to resort to using a Perfection Field in the first place!”

 

“And last up for Team Kaiba,” announced Vic, “It’s Ryuusaki the dinosaur-deck master!” Ryuusaki trotted up to the starting point.

“Prepare to be amazed, folks!” he called out, “I’m gonna make like a mad ninja all over this obstacle!”

“Hmph! That’ll be a first,” commented Mai. Gripping the rope tightly, Ryuusaki charged down the walkway, screaming like a banshee. Laughing like crazy, Ryuusaki began his arc around towards the target platform.

“Fall...! Fall...! Fall...! Fall...!” chanted Team Yugi. Ignoring all of them, Ryuusaki howled in delight as he approached the target...

...and completely bypassed it by a space of a few feet. He hadn’t launched himself with enough speed and his legs were too short.

“Ooooohhhh craaaaaaaaap...!!” he screamed as he flew away from the target platform...and right towards the side of the starting walkway. With a loud thud Ryuusaki smacked right into the wall, bounced off, and lost his grip, falling directly into the deep mud beneath him.

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” laughed everyone in Team Yugi as Ryuusaki started flailing around in the mud. Seto shook his head in disgust.

“These are the people I have to deal with?” he snapped, “Idiots!”

“And that finishes it up for Dope on a Rope!” announced Vic Romano, “Ryuusaki is down and Team Yugi is in the lead 3 to 2!”

 

“Coming up next it’s Big Brass Balls!”

 

“Big Brass Balls” consisted of a narrow, rickety-looking bridge with no handrails suspended over a large catchnet. The object of the course was to carry a gold-colored ball from one end of the bridge to the other without falling off. The course was made that much more difficult by a couple of burly Japanese wrestlers who were operating the ball-shooter which would be firing volleyballs at whoever was trying to inch their way over the bridge.

“Now it’s time for Big Brass Balls!” announced Vic, “The object of the game is to catch the brass ball and walk across the bridge without getting you or your balls shot off by our trained assassins.”

“And we’ve got a special bonus for today’s obstacle,” added Kenny.

“Indeed we do, Kenny!” continued Vic, “We’ve got a special appearance by Herbie the Steamy Pile!” The scene switched to reveal the catchnet. Standing on the ground next to it was someone dressed in a weird costume that looked like a conical brown lump with a weird face in it. Herbie quickly turned towards the camera and with a huge tortured groan began spewing white vapor all over the camera. The tortured, strained groans quickly turned into sighs of relief after a second or so of continuous spewing. “Who will be happily adding his own brand of hilarity to today’s activities. Oooo...steamy!”

“Yeah, and finally one of the anime babes is up!” commented Kenny.

“Yes, indeed! It’s Team Yugi’s Black Magician Girl!” announced Vic, “She’s a card in Yugi’s deck whose hobbies include hiding in pots and ambush-glomping.” The scene switched to show Black Magician Girl prancing up to the starting point. She paused to smile happily at the camera, pose cutely, and flash the V-sign. Meanwhile, Captain Tenneal was standing off to the side, holding the gold ball.

“Get it on!” he called out. Black Magician Girl quickly stepped up to the beginning of the bridge and caught the gold ball as the Captain tossed it to her.

“Black Magician Girl catches the ball and she starts her move across,” announced Vic.

“Wow! She’s holding that thing like an expert,” commented Kenny.

“She’s probably held lots of balls in her time,” added Vic. Meanwhile, Black Magician Girl was slowly starting to make her way across the narrow bridge. With an audible “poomph” sound the Japanese wrestlers fired a ball at her, which flew past her arm. Black Magician Girl glanced at the ball as it went past her and blinked in surprise. Shifting her stance a little and moving sideways across the bridge, she started moving a little faster.

Another ball shot past her, this time coming within several inches of her leg. Loading up another ball, the two wrestlers took aim and fired again.

Black Magician Girl yelped in surprise as the ball smacked squarely into her left buttock.

“Whoa! Did you see that, Vic?” announced Kenny, “She got hit in the butt!” *Poomph! * Black Magician Girl yelped again as the ball hit her again in the backside. “Another one in the butt!” *Poomph! * Another yelp came from Black Magician Girl as she got hit again.

“One more!” added Vic , “Lot of women can’t do that, Kenny.”

“She takes it in the butt a lot!” commented Kenny.

“She keeps taking it in the butt over and over but she’s still going strong!” announced Vic.

“Her butt must attract a lot of balls in real life. One more! Unbelievable! Look at the jiggle!” added Kenny as Black Magician Girl continued to inch her way along the bridge, blushing brightly as ball after ball kept striking her squarely in her rump. Another ball shot over her head, knocking her hat off. Black Magician Girl’s balance faltered for a moment, causing her to turn slightly...just in time to see the ball coming at her that would smack her right in the cheek.

“Ow!!” she yelped as she dropped the gold ball she was carrying. She instinctively stooped down to catch it...and her fate was sealed. Black Magician Girl fell off the bridge and dropped onto the catchnet. Bouncing a little, she rolled down the angled net to its lower end...and looked up just in time to see Herbie the Steamy Pile leaning down towards her. With a huge long distressed groan ( that quickly became one of relief ) the mascot sprayed sticky white vapor all over Black Magician Girl.

“Ooooh!” announced Vic, “And Herbie the Steamy Pile claims his first victim!”

“Wow! Herbie’s just unloading all over Black Magician Girl big time!” added Kenny. The camera zoomed in to catch every moment of the spraying. “I guess he’s been saving himself for this!”

“Well, Black Magician Girl’s not looking all that black any more,” replied Vic as the vapor started clearing, showing Black Magician Girl on her knees, covered with sticky white stuff and face-faulting majorly. Then the camera switched to show everyone in Team Kaiba laughing their asses off, except for Tuxedo Rainbow who was too busy nosebleeding at Black Magician Girl. “And we’ve got another MXC Impact Replay!” The scene switched to show a replay of Black Magician Girl slowly making her way across the bridge. Then the balls started hitting her in the butt, one after the other after the other after the other. “You can see here Black Magician Girl can take it in the butt all day long, but get her in the mouth and she’ll go down fast!”

“Next up, it’s Team Kaiba’s feisty gal, Mai Kujyaku!” added Kenny.

 

Mai stepped up onto the bridge and looked at it nervously.

“I can’t loose this!” she mumbled to herself, “I don’t want to go down! I can’t loose this!”

“Aw, come on, Mai!” called out Katsuya, “Not this again! Is Dartz trying to turn you evil again?!”

“No, you idiot!!” screamed Mai, “I just don’t want to end up getting spooged on by that thing down there like your clumsy Black Magician Girl!! I’d never be able to live that down!”

“No kidding,” added Seto.

“Yeah, that looked pretty bad,” agreed Tuxedo Rainbow. Reluctantly, Mai got up on the short ledge and took the ball handed to her by the Captain. Stepping out onto the bridge, Mai blinked in surprise as a ball shot past her face – the “MXC assassins” on the ball-launcher were already starting.

“Looks like the assassins have already started on Mai there,” announced Vic.

“Wait a minute, take a look at that, Vic!” added Kenny, “That’s not the assassins!” The scene switched to show the ball-launcher...which was NOT being operated by the two Japanese wrestlers, but was in fact being operated by...

“That’s Team Yugi’s Black Magician Girl!” called out Vic as Black Magician Girl waved at the camera, then fired another ball at Mai, “This is certainly a surprise!”

“I guess she wants to give Mai a good balling,” said Kenny. Meanwhile, Mai was slowly making her way across the bridge, wobbling a little but managing to keep her balance. Black Magician Girl launched another ball towards her, but missed by a wide margin. Mai kept moving across the bridge, picking up a little speed as she got to the middle. Another ball shot past her. Then another. Mai then yelped a little as a ball smacked into her shoulder, but she managed to keep her balance and kept going. Finally, Black Magician Girl scored a direct hit on Mai, nailing her squarely in the side, causing her to trip and fall...

...right onto the finish zone at the other side of the bridge. Mai looked around in surprise.

“She made it!” called out Kenny.

“And Mai Kujyaku has scored for Team Kaiba!” added Vic. Mai quickly scrambled to her feet and began jumping for joy. The scene switched to show Black Magician Girl brow-twitching and pouting. “Wait, now what’s this here?” Black Magician Girl twitched a little as she felt something brush against the back of her costume. She turned around to look...

“EEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh...heh!” screamed Herbie the Steamy Pile as he spewed white vapor all over Black Magician Girl again.

“Oh! And Herbie’s just unloaded on Black Magician Girl again!!” cried Vic.

“He must really like her or something,” added Kenny, “I’ll bet Gee must be pretty jealous of Herbie right now.”

 

“Next up for Team Yugi is Senshi Guardian!” announced Kenny as Senshi Guardian stepped up to the starting point.

“Setsuna!!!” he wailed at the top of his lungs. Taking a deep breath, Senshi Guardian got into position at the foot of the bridge. Captain Tenneal tossed him the gold ball and Senshi Guardian started across.

A ball shot past SG’s shoulder as he steadily made his way across the bridge. Wobbling a little, SG picked up his pace and kept on moving. He paused for a moment to maintain his balance...then jerked a little as a launched ball pegged him in the stomach, bouncing off.

“Oooo! Direct hit to the bread basket region!” announced Vic.

“Too bad it didn’t peg him down lower,” added Kenny as SG kept his balance and started moving again, “That would’ve made an awesome Impact Replay.” Another launched ball narrowly missed SG as he continued forward, then he reached the end of the bridge and happily stepped off.

“And Senshi Guardian has done it!” called out Vic, “He has made it and scored one for his team! And next up for Team Kaiba is Insector Weevil!” Weevil quickly trotted up to the starting point.

“Like the cockroach, I will scuttle across this bridge with no difficulty at all!” he shouted.

“Eeewww...!” shouted all of the girls simultaneously, cringing a little. Getting into position, Weevil took the ball from Captain Tenneal and started across, moving quickly and decisively.

“And Weevil’s off!” announced Kenny, “Wow, he’s sure moving pretty fast for a little guy.”

“Well, he is one of the few masters of an Insect deck,” added Vic, “So some of that power must’ve carried over onto him.” With a faint “ptoomph” the MXC assassins started shooting balls at Weevil. Weevil stopped suddenly, letting the first ball fly past him, then continued moving, leaning forward at the last moment to evade another ball. He then pivoted to keep from getting hit in the shoulder and started moving sideways across the bridge...

...then let out a huge yelp of surprise as a launched ball pegged him squarely below the belt in his groin. Doubling over, Weevil immediately lost his balance and fell off. Flailing around and screaming as he fell, he landed in the catchnet, bounced a couple of times, and was enthusiastically sprayed by Herbie the Steamy Pile as he came to a halt. Weevil flailed around some more as Herbie sprayed him, then tripped, fell to the ground, and remained there twitching as Herbie just kept unloading on him. Off in the background could easily be heard the giggling of Black Magician Girl.

“And Insector Weevil is down for the count!” announced Vic.

“No kidding!” added Kenny, “He got swatted off the bridge and then sprayed with Herbie’s own special brand of insecticide!”

“Most unfortunate,” continued Vic, “But when you’re the master of an Insect Deck you’ve gotta expect things like that sometimes. And speaking of things sprayed, Gee LaDouche is interviewing one of the eliminated contestants.” The scene switched, going down to the bottom of the pit where Guy LaDouche was standing.

“Yes, Vic!” stated Guy, “I’m standing here with Team Yugi’s own Black Magician Girl who certainly cast a spell on Herbie since she got sprayed on twice in a row!” Guy giggled as the camera turned slightly to show Black Magician Girl, who was still face-faulting, brow-twitching, and trying vainly to brush and wipe the sticky gunk off her outfit. “Excuse me, but Gee would like to know just what is your secret!” Black Magician Girl gave Guy a puzzled look.

“Secret?” she inquired.

“I hear that you are one of the most famous subject of naughty pictures and lemon-fics in regards to anime nowadays!” continued Guy, giggling, “How does it feel to be fantasized by so many fanboys?” Black Magician Girl didn’t reply, except to brow-twitch twice as fast as before. “Hee-hee...Gee has some fantasies he’d like to share with you!” At that, Black Magician Girl lunged at him, sent his safari hat flying with a thwap upside his head, then proceeded to beat her fists on him. “Oooooo! She’s attacking me! Gee LIKE!!!”

 

“Next up for Team Yugi is Anzu Mazaki!” announced Vic. Anzu quickly pranced up to the starting point and waved happily.

“I can accomplish anything with the help of my friends!” she called out. The Captain tossed the ball to her and Anzu started inching her way across the bridge.

“Your friends won’t be able to save you from the fate that lies before you!” called out Dartz.

“Not that whole Beast of Atlantis thing again...!” shouted back Anzu as she ducked under a ball that shot past her, easily keeping her balance.

“No, I think he’s talking about Herbie the Steamy Pile!” yelled Raphael.

“Yeah, he’s just gonna LOVE you!” added Amelda. The remaining members of Team Kaiba started laughing.

“Don’t listen to those bungholes, Anzu!” yelled Rebecca, “You can do it!” Anzu continued to make her way across the bridge, quickly picking up speed. Balls continued to shoot past her, most of them missing except for one which smacked firmly and loudly against her butt.

“Whoa!” announced Kenny, “She just got hit in the butt!”

“Indeed,” added Vic, “But Anzu is still going strong. Obviously, like the rest of her, her butt just refuses to quit!” Meanwhile, Anzu continued to move across the bridge and made it to the other side a couple of seconds later. With a loud, happy cheer, Anzu punted the ball she’d been carrying into the ground and proceeded to start dancing. “And look at those moves! Such grace! Such poise!”

“Such a bod!” added Kenny, “Do you think she’d be willing to perform at my next birthday party?"

“Kenny!” objected Vic, “Stop being so vulgar! She’s not into that kind of thing!”

“Yes she is,” retorted Kenny as the camera focused in on Anzu’s victory dance, “Just look at her shaking what her momma gave her.”

 

“Next up for Team Kaiba is Tuxedo Rainbow of Suburban Senshi!” announced Vic as Tuxedo Rainbow stepped into the starting point at the foot of the bridge.

“The things I’ll do to keep myself in Duel Monster cards!” he called out. Just then the screen froze and some of Tuxedo Rainbow’s information was displayed alongside his photo. Occupation : duelist ( aren’t we all? ). Likes : dragons, dueling, dueling disks, holograms, and Black Magician Girl. Dislikes : Heights, getting his tuxedo dirty unless necessary, and Ryuuji Otogi.

“We had an opportunity to speak with him before the show started,” continued Vic, “Let’s hear what he had to say about joining Team Kaiba.”

“I owe Kaiba for something he’s done for someone I know,” explained Tuxedo Rainbow, “Let’s just leave it at that.” The scene switched back to the bridge as Tuxedo Rainbow stepped out onto it and caught the ball from Captain Tenneal. Tux quickly began to move across the bridge. A moment later, the first ball shot past him, ruffling his cape. Another wall was launched at him, glancing off of his knee. Tuxedo Rainbow flinched a little, but kept his balance, continuing to move steadily forward as he got hit a couple more times before getting close to the other side. With a loud resounding slap, a launched ball struck him squarely in the side of his ass, bouncing off and almost making him stumble.

“Wow, that dude took one in the butt, too!” announced Kenny, “He didn’t seem to like it as much as the girls, though.” Meanwhile, Tuxedo Rainbow took one more step forward and reached the other side of the bridge, cheering loudly as he won the event.

“Maybe not, Kenny!” declared Vic, “But Tuxedo Rainbow has scored another point for his team regardless! Obviously getting balled once in the butt was an acceptable price to pay for victory!” Meanwhile Tuxedo Rainbow was dancing around doing a jig and tossed his ball to the side. The gold ball flew back across the bridge, sailing high in the air...

...and smacked Ryuuji squarely in the forehead. Ryuuji staggered backwards, flailing his arms around as he tried to regain his balance.

“Oops...!” called out Tuxedo Rainbow.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHH-hahahahahahahahaha!!” wailed Seto as he collapsed to the ground in hysterical laughter. The rest of Team Kaiba quickly joined in.

“You did that on purpose!” shouted Ryuuji.

“OH!! Did you see that, Vic?!” cried Kenny, “That was awesome!”

“And that right there warrants an MXC Impact Replay!” exclaimed Vic as the scene switched to a replay of Tuxedo Rainbow tossing the ball aside and striking Ryuuji in the face with it. “Here you can see Tuxedo Rainbow putting down the ball with a little too much upwards and sideways motion and he accidentally strikes a member of the opposing team.”

“Accidentally struck?” asked Kenny, “Looks more like he nailed that numbnut right in the nose! What a hit!”

 

“And last up for Team Yugi is Ryuuji Otogi!” called out Vic. Ryuuji dashed up to the starting point, rubbing his forehead a little.

“If it was legal I’d take Guardian Imasu for a wife!!” he shouted.

“Hey, leave my guardian card out of this, you pervert!!” screamed Raphael. Meanwhile, Ryuuji put a foot out onto the bridge and caught the ball as Captain Tenneal tossed it to him. He then started to move across the bridge. Ryuuji managed to go three steps, then stumbled as he lost his balance and fell over.

“Gaaaaahhhh!!” he yelled as he managed to catch onto the side of the bridge, hanging on for dear life as he tried to pull himself up. A ball shot past him as the MXC Assassins began shooting at him.

“Come on, Ryuuji!” called out Rebecca, “You can do it!”

“Pull yourself up!” cried Anzu, “We believe in you!” Meanwhile, Ryuuji struggled to hang on and dropped the ball he was carrying.

“I don’t think he’s going to make it,” stated Mokuba.

“Hey Herbie!” called out Tuxedo Rainbow. The scene cut down to show Herbie the Steamy Pile looking up and shaking around a little. “Looks like you got another one coming at you! Give him a good spraying for me, would ya?” Meanwhile, Ryuuji had successfully managed to pull himself back onto the bridge.

“Whoa! And Ryuuji’s pulling himself back up into a “Scary Uncle”!” announced Vic.

“We don’t see too many “Scary Uncles” like that,” added Kenny. Slowly and carefully standing back up, he turned around to face Captain Tenneal who tossed him another ball. Unfortunately, as Ryuuji tried to catch the ball, he lost his balance again and took a flying tumble off the bridge.

“Oh, and down he goes!” announced Vic as Ryuuji fell off the bridge and landed in the net.

“And if that wasn’t bad enough...!” added Kenny. Ryuuji came to a halt in the net, and looked up.

“Oh crap!!!” he shouted.

“EEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!” Ryuuji was engulfed in a thick cloud of white powdery spray as Herbie the Steamy Pile claimed yet another victim. The cameras caught every moment of Ryuuji getting sprayed as he flailed around, tripped, and fell to the ground, completely covered in white. The camera switched to show Tuxedo Rainbow and Wolfwood headbanging happily and laughing their asses off.

“Wow, Herbie got him all over!” commented Kenny.

“Indeed,” replied Vic, “You can say what you want about Herbie, but he is certainly thorough. Last up for Team Kaiba is Amelda. He’s the inventor of the Seto Kaiba voodoo doll kit.” Amelda took his place at the start of the bridge.

“I’ll win this event in memory of my brother!” he shouted. Stepping out onto the bridge, Amelda tested his balance, then turned and caught the ball as Captain Tenneal tossed it to him. Catching it, Amelda turned just in time to see a ball shoot past his head.

“Gah!” he yelped as he flinched, regained his balance, and continued moving. Another ball swooshed by him as he resumed moving. The next ball struck him in the leg, making him wobble a little. The next ball struck him right in the head.

With a yelp, Amelda fell off the bridge and into the catchnet.

“Ooooohhh! And he’s down!” announced Vic, “And that does it for Team Kaiba!”

“Uh-oh, here comes Herbie!” added Kenny as Amelda came to a halt in the catchnet. Looking around, he then face-faulted as he caught sight of the vapor-spewing conical mascot waddling directly towards him.

“Oh shit!” he screamed. Staggering to his feet, Amelda tried to dash away from Herbie...and was successful as Herbie tripped and fell right onto his face. Lacking any arms, Herbie could only kick his legs around and spray the ground.

“And Herbie is down!” announced Vic, “This is certainly unusual!”

“What? Did he trip or something?” added Kenny. Meanwhile, Captain Tenneal quickly rushed over and started whacking the stricken Herbie with his cane, smacking him over and over with it.

“Looks like the Captain’s trying to help out a little,” announced Vic, “And here comes some more help!” All of a sudden Black Magician Girl dashed up, leapt into the air, and gave Herbie a flying elbow-slam as she landed on top of him. Straddling the mascot, Black Magician Girl began whaling on him with her fists as Ryuuji and Insector Weevil quickly rushed up and proceeded to join the Captain in pummeling the heck out of Herbie. Amelda just started laughing and clapping.

“Beat the crap outta him!” shouted Mai. “Kick him! Kick him!! Kick him!!! KICK HIM!!!”

“Ooo-hohohohohohohoho!” cried out Matsumi in a Naga-esque laugh.

“Oh look, Kenny,” stated Vic, “One of our mascots takes a tumble and look how many people rush to his aid. It’s refreshing to see such cameraderie.”

“Is that what you’re calling it?” replied Kenny, “Looks more like they’re lining up to beat the crap out of him. Lucky guys. I’ve always wanted to pound that pile.”

“An that concludes this stage!” continued Vic, “And Team Yugi maintains their lead 5 to 4! Next up it’s Door Jam!!”

 

“Coming up next it’s Door Jam!”

 

“Door Jam” consisted of a bunch of small hexagon-shaped rooms all connected to each other in a roughly rectangular configuration. Most of the walls were made up of swinging doors. Starting from the upper corner of the maze of doors, a contestant had to make their way to the exit on the opposite corner of the maze without falling outside into the wide, mud-filled ditches bordering the maze-of-doors and avoiding the three wrestler-guys who were going through the maze in search of the contestant in question.

“It’s time for Door Jam!” announced Vic, “The object is to get through our loathsome labyrinth of deadly doors and predacious passages without getting slabbed, grabbed, and rammed by our demented Doormen. And introducing them be have Snapped...!” The camera showed a huge, bald guy wearing striped face-paint with an X drawn on his forehead. He roared eagerly at the camera. “Crackled...!” The next guy was another huge Japanese wrestler with crooked teeth wearing red colored robes and a long, bushy bright red wig. “And Popped!” The final guy was a big dark-haired guy with several days of stubble wearing dark robes. He turned around and headbutted one of the doors, then roared directly into the camera. The scene switched to the starting point of the maze where Captain Tenneal was waiting. He then blew on his whistle and waved everyone forward.

“Get it on!” he called out.

“First up for Team Yugi is Pegasus J. Crawford,” announced Vic, “He’s the owner of the company that manufactures most of the Duel-Monster merchandise.”

“Does that mean he can make card-monsters that have no clothes on?” asked Kenny.

“Such questions are not appropriate for family-oriented television, Kenny,” replied Vic. Meanwhile, Pegasus Crawford reached the starting point, running his fingers through his hair and winking at the camera.

“Aw, jeez, what a pretty-boy,” grumbled Kenny, “I hope the Doormen get him.”

“We’ll find out soon enough,” added Vic as Pegasus pushed through the first door. The camera angle switched to show a top-down view of the entire maze. As Pegasus entered the first room, Captain Tenneal blew on his whistle twice. The three Doormen, waiting down at the other three corner rooms, immediately began moving, pushing their way through the maze-of-doors in search of their prey. Pegasus continued to move through the maze, opening the doors and trying to find his way around. Suddenly, one of the doors next to him burst open and he found himself face to face with a big, burly, bald Japanese man wearing garish face-paint. Snapped immediately bellowed at Pegasus, spreading his arms wide and flexing his muscles.

“Aaaahhhhh!” screamed Pegasus J. Crawford, “Get away from me, you ugly brute!!” He turned and ran backward, but Snapped chased after him, laughing loudly all the while. The other two Doormen quickly began homing in on all the shouting and laughing. Pegasus picked up the pace, managing to get ahead of Snapped and ducking through a side door...right into the same room as Popped.

“Gah!!!” shouted Popped as he took a lunge at Pegasus. Pegasus shrieked in fright and barely managed to avoid the grab, turned, and ran right into the waiting arms of Snapped. Crackled rushed in a second later and grabbed hold of Pegasus.

“Aaaaaahhhhhh! Help me! Somebody get these brutes off me!” cried Pegasus as they crowded around him on all sides.

“Looks like you’ll be getting your wish, Kenny!” announced Vic, “Pegasus J. Crawford is getting severely Doorman-handled!” Kenny just laughed mockingly as the Doormen continued to jostle Pegasus roughly, then started pushing him down to the ground. The camera zoomed in to catch every moment of Pegasus’ plight as he struggled futilely against the three wrestlers. A moment later, the three Doormen began smearing mud and dirt all over Pegasus’ face and clothes. After making certain he was completely filthy ( and paying special attention to his face and hair ), the Doormen hauled him through the maze over to one side of it, opened one of the side-most doors, and unceremoniously pitched the wailing Pegasus out of the maze and into one of the mud-filled ditches.

“And Pegasus J. Crawford is down and out!” announced Vic, “And we’ve got yet another MXC Impact Replay!” The scene shifted to reshow a close-up of the doormen surrounding Pegasus Crawford and pulling him to the ground.

“Yeah, look here you’ll see the Doormen showing pretty-boy Pegasus exactly what they think of his taste in clothes!” explained Kenny as the replay showed the Doormen smearing mud all over Pegasus’s face, hair, and clothes. “And then they give him a free mud bath!” The replay showed a slow-motion scene of Pegasus being tossed screaming and kicking into the deep mud.

 

“Next up for Team Kaiba is Seto Kaiba’s young brother Mokuba!” announced Vic. Mokuba dashed up to the starting point and flashed the V-sign at it.

“I’ll make my brother proud!” he called out. Mokuba then entered the door-maze. The C-pov changed to the top-down view of the maze as Mokuba and the Doormen began searching from room to room. Mokuba soon made it to the bottom-most part of the maze and opened a door...which revealed the deep mud-filled ditch bordering the maze. He quickly retreated and tried another door...revealing one of the Doormen!

“BOOYAAA!!!” shouted Crackled as he jumped out at Mokuba.

“Aaaaaahhh!!” screamed Mokuba as he jumped back startled, then ducked to the ground and quickly crawled between Crackled’s legs. The Doorman looked around in confusion, trying to figure out where Mokuba had disappeared to, then looked around just in time to see him dash through the door behind him. The camera focused in as Mokuba kept running straight, forcing his way through every door before him, hooked a sudden left as Popped burst out of one of the side doors...

...and successfully emerged from the maze to the loud claps and cheers of Team Kaiba. Mokuba skidded to a halt and immediately did a victory pose.

“And Mokuba Kaiba’s made it!” shouted Vic, “He scores one for Team Kaiba!” As Vic Romano made his announcement the two Doormen who’d been chasing after Mokuba came out after him, grabbed him...then rustled his hair and patted him on the back and shoulders.

“Good job, kid!” complimented Popped.

 

“Next up it’s Katsuya Jyoonouchi’s sister, Shizuka!” announced Vic. Shizuka quickly hopped up onto the starting point of the maze.

“I can clearly see an awesome win for Team Yugi!” she called out happily. She then entered the maze. Switching to the top-down camera, the viewers could see Shizuka making her way through the maze. The three Doormen also went on the prowl, quickly making their way through the doors. Within a few seconds Shizuka was close to a couple of them. Crackled suddenly turned as he heard something and doubled back...and entered one of the rooms just in time to catch Shizuka.

“BOOOYAAAH!!!” he shouted. Shizuka nearly jumped with fright and immediately started running with Cracked in close pursuit. She pushed through one door, two doors, three doors...

...and pushed through the final door only to find herself running in thin air over one of the mud ditches. With a surprised squeal and a loud splut, Shizuka fell into the mud, landing on her chest and almost submerging herself. As she spluttered and thrashed around, the three Doormen watched from the open doorway and laughed.

“And Shizuka is down in the mud!” announced Vic, “Most unfortunate.”

“Instead of an awesome win, I see a dirty girl!” added Kenny, “Ooooo, someone needs a good hosing-down!”

 

“Next up for Team Kaiba is DJ Wolfwood of Suburban Senshi!” stated Vic as the scene switched to show Wolfwood trotting up to the starting point, “He’s a self-proclaimed Sailor Saturn stalker!”

“Leeeeeeeeroooooooy!!! NnnnJeeeeeennnkiiiiiinnnnnsss!!” he shouted at the top of his lungs as he stopped for a moment before entering the maze. Pushing his way through the door, Wolfwood started through the maze. Turning onto a diagonal angle, Wolfwood headed in the general direction of the exit point while the Doormen started searching around for him. At one point Snapped entered the room Wolfwood had left only a second prior. Wolfwood continued to search around, finding the exit door...just as Crackled entered his room from behind him.

Yelling loudly, Crackled lunged at Wolfwood and grabbed onto his coat, trying to pull him away from the exit door. Snapped and Popped immediately starting homing in on him. Struggling immensely, Wolfwood hanged onto the doorframe, slipped off his coat like a snake shedding its skin, and quickly dashed through the exit.

“And DJ Wolfwood makes it!” announced Vic.

“Wow! He just barely managed to escape from the Doormen,” added Kenny, “But he pulls it off and scores yet another point for Team Kaiba!”

 

“Up again for a second run is Haruka Ten’oh!” announced Vic. Haruka smiled knowingly as she took her position at the starting point. Cherry blossom petals floated gracefully around her as she engaged the Perfection Field once again.

“Just like the last event, I shall walk thorough this one with no problems at all!” she called out confidently. As the Perfection Field proceeded to bathe her in an almost heavenly glow, she walked casually into the maze. The camera switched to the top-down angle again, showing Haruka as she slowly and gracefully made her way through the maze, going from room to room while the three Doormen moved in quickly. Every so often one of the Doormen would pause to stare at the sakura petals that were floating around. Haruka continued to make her way through the maze...and entered a room occupied by Snapped.

“Oh, hello,” she stated casually, running her fingers through her hair with sublime grace as the breeze wafted the Sakura petals around her in a stunning display. Snapped’s head tilted a little to the side as he stared at her...

...then Haruka was knocked to her knees as Popped and Crackled came up behind her and simultaneously began rubbing and smearing mud and dirt into Haruka’s face and clothes. The effects of the Perfection Field were immediately canceled out.

“Oh! And Haruka is blindsided and ambushed by the Doormen!” announced Vic as the camera zoomed in on Haruka’s plight. As he spoke the three Doormen were pushing Haruka to the ground and rubbing more dirt into her face and hair. Whatever stunning grace and beauty Michiru’s Perfection Field had granted her was gone for good.

“Man, they’re really going to town on her!” added Kenny.

“Well, we all know that the Doormen have no appreciation for grace and beauty,” explained Vic as the camera showed Haruka struggling viciously as the Doormen grabbed hold of her arms and legs and began carrying her through the maze towards one of the ditches. “It’s so tragic so see one so gifted and blessed as Haruka Ten’oh being treated in such a disgraceful manner.”

“Are you kidding?” retorted Kenny, “This is funny as hell!” The scene switched, showing one of the doors overhanging a ditch opening as Popped pushed it open. Haruka was still hollering and struggling as the three Doormen began rocking her back and forth once...twice...three times.

Then they flung Haruka face-first into the deep mud. She hit the mud, sank beneath it, and emerged from it flailing and yelling a moment later.

“Oh man, they got Haruka!” called out Clone-chan.

“Good,” commented Wolfwood, “I always hated that damn Perfection Field.”

 

“And Haruka Ten’oh is down and out!” announced Vic, “Next up for Team Kaiba is Dartz.” Dartz quickly trotted up to the starting point and faced the camera.

“If I go down in this,” he stated, “At least I’ll go down with the satisfaction of having personally witnessed the Pharaoh fail miserably in the very first event!” He then burst out laughing again.

“Screw you, Dartz!” called out Rebecca from off-screen, “I’ll avenge my darling’s humiliation!”

“Well, would you care to make good your threat and proceed after me?” asked Dartz, smirking.

“You bet!” shouted back Rebecca. Dartz took his place at the starting point, then dashed inside. The cameras switched to the top-down view and showed Dartz making his way through the maze. At the same time the doormen were beginning their search. Dartz pushed his way from room to room, passing close by Crackled at one point. Dartz continued on his way...just as Snapped entered the room he was leaving. Snapped immediately picked up the pace as he followed after Dartz. A moment later Popped entered the Dartz’ room from a side door...and the chase was on. Ducking and avoiding a grab from Popped, Dartz started running through the maze, pushing his way through the doors with the doormen in close pursuit. He pushed open one door, and JUST avoided plunging headlong into the mudhole beyond. Then the pursuing Doormen entered the room behind him.

“Oh crap!” he shouted. Making a desperate lunge for one of the side doors, Dartz barely managed to get through it in time. With the Doormen still chasing behind him, Dartz rushed through the next door...

...and emerged from the maze. He looked around in amazement, then began to laugh triumphantly.

“And Dartz scores another point for Team Kaiba!” announced Vic, “Giving them quite a lead against Team Yugi.”

 

“And speaking of which here comes Team Yugi’s next challenger and ultra-talented hacker, Rebecca,” announced Kenny as the camera switched back to the starting point. Rebecca was standing there, her eyes flashing with determination.

“I’m going to win this one just for you, Yugi!” she called out. She quickly got up to the entrance of the maze. She waited until Captain Tenneal blew on his whistle, then she proceeded to go inside.

The C-Pov switched to the top-down view again, showing Rebecca as she made her way from room to room. A second later all three Doormen were on the move, going from room to room in their search of their next victim.

“Here come the Doormen,” announced Vic as Crackled and Snapped got closer and closer to Rebecca, who was just going straight through the maze.

All of a sudden Rebecca entered the same room with Snapped.

“Aaaaahhhhhh!! Crap!!” she screamed as the huge, freaky Doorman lunged at her. Turning on her heel, Rebecca dodged his lunge and burst through one of the side doors. Snapped stayed right on her tail and took another swipe at her, this time catching onto the waist of her pants and holding on tight. Rebecca struggled furiously, but her small petite figure was no match for the oversized wrestler. A second later Crackled and Popped joined in and crowded around Rebecca, slowly pushing her to the floor as she struggled non-stop.

“Oh, and they got her!” announced Vic, “This is almost unbearable to watch!”

“Hey wait a second,” added Kenny, “I think she’s enjoying this! Look at her!” The camera zoomed in on Rebecca as she continued to struggle against all three Doormen as they all grabbed her arms and legs and proceeded to carry her through the maze towards the nearest side.

“Nonononononono!!” she cried, “Let me go! I’ve gotta win this for my Yugi!!” The scene switched over to one of the cameras viewing across one of the mud-ditches as a door was pushed open by Crackled. Holding the door open, the Doormen then shifted their grip on Rebecca and prepared to launch her outside.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee!!” squealed Rebecca as she saw what they were going to do, “No!! Yugi! Anzu! Katsuya!! Somebody help meeeeeeeee!!” With one last squeal, Rebecca was propelled out the doorway and landed in the mud with a huge splut.

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” screamed everyone in Team Kaiba as Rebecca hit the surface of the mud and sank into it up to her neck. Dartz just smiled triumphantly as Rebecca flailed around helplessly in the muck.

“Looks like you lost the dare!” he called out, “Better luck next time!”

“BITE ME!!!” screamed Rebecca.

 

“And last up for Team Kaiba is Raphael,” announced Vic. Raphael dashed up to the starting point of the maze.

“Unlike Varon, *I’m* not a showoff or a dumbass!” he called out to the camera.

“Jeez! You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?!” called out Varon from the sidelines.

“Hell no, you stupid sh!t!!” screamed Mai, “You cost us a point because you were too busy trying to look cool!” Raphael ignored them both and made his way into the maze. The camera switched to the top-down view showing Raphael as he made his way forward. A moment later the Doormen began to move. Moving from room to room, Raphael attempted to make his way across the maze...then he entered the same room with Popped. Popped kiaied as he charged forward at Raphael.

“AW CRAP!!” shouted Raphael. He immediately turned and ran through the door to his side. Popped followed closely after him. Pushing through door after door, Raphael tried to stay ahead of Popped, then pushed through one final door and found himself about to fly out into the mud-ditch. Latching onto the door, Raphael clung to the top of the door and held on tightly as he swung out over the surface of the mud. Quickly maneuvering himself around to the other side of the door, Raphael got the door between him and Popped as the Doorman rushed up to try and knock him into the sludge. Then, kicking out with his leg, Raphael tried to kick the door next to him open so he could hop back into the maze.

As he did this the door next to him opened outwards as Crackled came up, laughing loudly. Opening the door right into Raphael, Crackled pinned him between the two doors. Wedged in with nowhere to go, Raphael could only hang on desperately as the Doormen proceeded to start shaking him back and forth harder and harder.

“Oh! The Doormen are giving him a Woodie-wedgie!” exclaimed Vic.

“I haven’t seen one of those in ages!” added Kenny.

“Indeed! It’s the most heinous of punishments here at Anime MXC but it does happen, unfortunately,” continued Vic as Raphael continued to get shaken back and forth, his hands beginning to slip. “And here you can see his struggles weakening, the air forced from his lungs as he’s pressed relentlessly, and down he goes!” Raphael yelled out one last time as his hand slipped, then he fell into the mud with a huge splash while the Doormen looked on, laughing the whole time. “And that concludes it for Door Jam! It’s now Team Kaiba in the lead 7 to 5!”

 

 

“Coming up next it’s Log Drop!”

 

The next obstacle course consisted of a series of large rollers suspended horizontally over yet another mud-filled pool. The rollers, about seven of them, were all large enough for someone to stand on and had over a foot of space in between them. A contestant would have to hop from roller to roller from one side of the course to the other and gauge themselves accordingly. If they moved too quickly or too slowly or didn’t land properly, the roller they were standing on would start spinning.

“And our final challenge is Log Drop!” announced Vic, “The premise is simple. Each contestant does their best to scamper across the spinning timbers without getting dunked! Staying dry good! Getting wet bad!” The scene switched to show Captain Tenneal standing on the starting ledge as he blew his whistle.

“Get it on!” he shouted. A moment later Matsumi rushed up to the starting line.

“And first up is Matsumi Kaze of Suburban Senshi,” called out Kenny as Matsumi rushed up the short flight of wooden steps leading to the starting point of Log Drop.

“We had a chance to speak with Matsumi before her run,” stated Vic as the scene switched to show a photo of Matsumi alongside some of her personal information : Occupation – Sailor Senshi of the planet Quinox, Likes – winning, singing, and Vanadine, Dislikes – perverts, tight undies, and pain. “When we asked why she’s here helping out Team Yugi this is what she had to say.”

“Well, I joined up because it sounded like fun,” explained Matsumi during the interview, “And I’ve got to look out for the weaker members of the team...which seems to be 99% of them.” The scene switched back to the obstacle course as Matsumi rushed up to the starting line.

“I’m not giving up! Booya!!” she cried as she got ready. Then she started forward, hopping onto the first roller. As she landed on it the weight of her body started it rolling slightly. She jumped off, aiming for the second roller, but failed to land correctly. With a wail of dismay, Matsumi found herself running in place as the roller began to spin faster and faster, forcing her to run in place in an attempt to stay upright. After a second, the roller’s spin became too fast and Matsumi slipped, fell onto the roller, and got tossed off right into the mud.

“And she’s down!” announced Vic, “Matsumi is down in the mud!”

“And we’ve got ourselves yet another dirty girl!” added Kenny, “Ooooo, somebody get the hose and the camera!” The scene switched, showing Matsumi as she pulled herself out of the ditch and onto dry land. Twitching a little, Matsumi didn’t look too happy. Then Guy LeDouche trotted up.

“Oh! Are you all right, miss?” asked Guy as he reached out tentatively at Matsumi…and her rather sizable cleavage which was rather emphasized by the mud covering most of her body, “You look so muddy and dirty!”

“I let down Team Yugi!” moaned Matsumi, unhappily, “I can’t believe I fell like that.”

“Gee would like to help clean you off! Just give me all of your dirty clothes and Gee will clean you off with his great big hose!” Matsumi suddenly browtwitched, then leapt at Guy LeDouche and put him in a mud-smeared headlock.

“ECCHI BAKA!!!” she screamed as she proceeded to pull Guy to the ground in preparation for a good stiff beating.

“Ooohh-ho-ho-ho!! Gee is attacked again! Gee LIKE!!!” The scene switched, showing the starting point of Log Drop as Mai rushed up.

 

“Up again for a second time is Mai Kujyaku,” announced Vic.

“Oh jeez!” called out Mai as she looked out at Log Drop, “I’ve gotta win thins…I don’t want to fail! I sooooo don’t want to get drenched with mud and get targeted by some pervert!” The camera quickly turned back towards the Door Jam maze and zoomed in on Guy LeDouche who was being held by both Black Magician Girl and Matsumi as they proceeded to toss him into the mud-ditch. Mai snickered at the sight and started her run.

Hopping onto the first roller, Mai paused for a moment to maintain her balance, then kept on hopping from roller to roller, quickly crossing the entire obstacle course with barely any difficulty at all. Leaping off the last roller onto the finishing platform, Mai landed, stared around herself in amazement, then burst out into a huge happy grin and cheered.

“And Mai Kujyaku’s scored one for her team!” called out Vic.

“She made it look so easy, too,” added Kenny, “Too bad. I wanted to see her as a dirty girl!”

“Well, you may get your wish with the next contestant, Kenny,” added Vic, “Next up it’s the second run of Team Yugi’s foxy dancer Anzu Mazaki!” Anzu trotted up to the starting point.

“My friends got me through the last obstacle and they’ll get me through this one, too!” she called out happily. With a signal from the Captain, Anzu started across the rollers. Moving with surprising speed and swiftness, Anzu hopped from roller to roller, her body weight barely seeming to make the rollers move as she moved off of each of them. In less than a minute Anzu had cleared the logs and was standing on the finishing platform, hopping around and boogying triumphantly.

“And she’s done it again!” announced Vic, “Anzu has scored another point for Team Yugi!”

“Wow! Just look at her shaking her moneymakers!” commented Kenny, “Now that’s my kind of girl!”

“Careful, Kenny,” advised Vic, “That’s how you got arrested last time with Minako Aino. Next up its Seto Kaiba himself for a second time.” Seto rushed up to the starting point of Log Drop and got ready. A short blow of the whistle from Captain Tenneal signaled the start of Seto’s run. Leaping dexterously from one roller to the next, Seto quickly cleared the course with his trademark agility. He landed in the middle of the finishing platform and posed triumphantly.

“And he did it!” called out Kenny.

“Indeed!” added Vic, “Seto has scored yet another point for his team! Next up for Team Yugi is Hiroto Honda!” As Vic spoke Hiroto trotted up to the starting point.

“Team Yugi can still win this!!” he shouted. Then he started across the rollers.

Hiroto hopped onto the first roller with no trouble at all. He then hopped onto the second one, landing well-enough but as he moved to leap onto the next roller his forward momentum caused it to start spinning slightly…

…then Hiroto totally botched it. Landing off-center, he lost his balance and fell forward. Reaching out, Hiroto managed to catch himself, propping himself up between the rollers.

“Oh, looks like Hiroto’s in trouble, Vic,” called out Kenny.

“Yup, looks like he’s trying to get himself into a “Defrocked Bishop”,” added Vic. Meanwhile, Hiroto was trying to get himself back onto his feet. Pushing forward with his legs, Hiroto pushed himself on top of the third roller…and then fell forward as the roller kept spinning, depositing him into the deep mud waiting below.

“Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!” screamed Hiroto as he fell. Then he landed face-first in the mud with a huge splat.

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” screamed everyone on Team Kaiba as they watched yet another member of Team Yugi go down.

“And Hiroto Honda is down and out!” announced Vic, “Most unfortunate!”

“Yup, he tried to go into a “Full Willing Participant”, but most people just can’t pull one of those off,” added Kenny.

 

“Next up it’s Clone-chan for a second run,” announced Vic. The scene switched to show Clone-chan trotting up to the starting line.

“Here I go again!” she called out, waving to the camera happily, “I dedicate this obstacle course to my darling Wolfwood!”. She then turned and started her run across the Log Drop course. She hopped out onto the first roller, then the second, then the third without any trouble. Light and nimble as she was, Clone-chan had no trouble getting from one side of the field to the other. In less than a minute Clone-chan had gotten from one side to the other. Leaping off the last roller, Clone-chan landed in the finishing platform and began hopping around happily.

“And she’s done it!” announced Vic, “Clone-chan clears the Log Drop and scores yet another point for her team!”

“It’s a fix!!” shouted Haruka from off in the background, “Cheater!!”

“Oh, you’re one to talk about cheating, Ten’oh!!!” screamed Wolfwood, “Don’t make me go find Herbie the Steamy Pile!”

 

“And finally, last up for Team Yugi is Katsuya Jyoonouchi!” announced Vic. Katsuya trotted up to the starting point.

“Don’t worry Yugi!” he shouted, “We’re still going to look good and make you proud!” The Captain blew his whistle, and the run was on.

Jumping onto the first roller, Katsuya quickly moved over it and onto the next. He leapt onto the third without any problems…

…then he landed on the fourth and completely botched it. Angling his foot incorrectly, Katsuya slipped and fell. One foot went forward, the other went back…and gravity pulled Katsuya straight down onto his butt while the roller came up between his legs and wedged them further apart. A huge collective cry of sympathy rose from everyone in both Team Kaiba and Yugi as Katsuya literally landed on his ass and did the splits.

“Gggggeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…!!!!” squealed Katsuya as he landed on the roller, then the motion of the roller’s spin pitched him forward and hurled him straight into the mud.

“Ooooohhhh, and he is down!!” announced Vic as Katsuya hit the mud, “And that’s our latest MXC Impact Replay!!!” The scene switched to show a slow-motion replay of Katsuya slipping and doing the splits on top of the roller. “Here you see him slipping and falling…”

“…and totally pounding his man-package flat!” finished Kenny, “Ooooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!! That one stung!”

“Indeed, Kenny,” added Vic, “He’s going to be feeling that later! And lastly for Team Kaiba it’s Tuxedo Rainbow for the final run!”

 

Tuxedo Rainbow ran up to the starting line.

“My KaibaCorp stock just went through the roof!!” he shouted. He then began his run, leaping onto the first roller easily. He then kept hopping from the next to the next, finally reaching the last roller. Then he messed up. Leaping onto the last roller, Tuxedo Rainbow lost his balance and fell to his hands and knees as he landed. He quickly tried to scramble to his feet, but the log had already started to spin backwards.

“Gaaahhhh!!!” screamed Tuxedo Rainbow as he fell off the log and was dropped into the mud with a gigantic splatter. Team Kaiba burst out into huge cheers as they realized they’d won.

 

“And Tuxedo Rainbow is down and out!” announced Vic, “And that clinches it!! The game is over and Team Kaiba has emerged victorious over Team Yugi with a score of 10 to 6!!”

“Wow!” added Kenny, “It’s hard to believe since they’re technically the bad guys and they were so far behind in the beginning.”

“Indeed, and now it’s time for Kenny Blankenship’s Most Painful Eliminations of the Day!” announced Vic. Kenny then proceeded to kick off his favorite section of the show.

“At number ten it’s our own Gee LeDouche!” announced Kenny as the TV showed the scenes where Guy LeDouche was interviewing Black Magician Girl and Matsumi Kaze...then getting attacked and pummeled by them. “Ooooo! Most guys would pay real money to be in his shoes in that kind of situation!” The scene ended with a close-up of Guy LeDouche’s laughing face…then of him getting thrown into a mud-ditch by Matsumi and Black Magician Girl.

“At number nine it’s Raphael from Team Kaiba!” The scene showed Raphael falling out one of the doors at Door Jam and hanging on for dear life as he swung out over the mud-ditch. “He tried to pull a fast one but the Doormen pulled one on him...” The replay showed Cracked opening the door directly behind Raphael right into him, then all three Doormen pressed down, sandwiching Raphael between the doors as they proceeded to shake him back and forth. “...turning this wannabe sneak into a loser sandwich!” The replay showed Raphael getting shaken at three-times normal speed, then falling into the mud.

“At number eight it’s pretty-boy Pegasus J. Crawford of Team Yugi!” The scene showed Pegasus flicking his hair just before he entered the maze at Door Jam. “His girly looks and frilly clothes didn’t impress the Doormen...” The scene switched to show the replay of Pegasus getting surrounded, caught, and jostled ruthlessly by Snapped, Crackled, and Popped as they proceeded to smear mud all over his face and clothes. “...who quickly showed him what *they* thought of pretty-boys!” The scene switched to a replay of the Doormen tossing Pegasus into the mud.

“At number seven it’s Varon of Team Kaiba!” The scene showed Varon grabbing the rope at Dope on a Rope and shouting. “He tried to impress the ladies with some fancy acrobatics...” The scene switched to show Varon swinging towards the goal-platform, letting go...and then slipping right off the column and flying into the mud. The scene quickly began replaying Varon’s sprawl and fall several times in quick succession. “...but all he succeeds in doing is making a total jackass of himself!”

“At the number six slot it’s Haruka Ten’oh of Suburban Senshi!” The scene showed Haruka activating the Perfection Field and gazing at the camera. “Artificially-induced grace and elegance was no protection against the Doormen..."” The scene switched to show Haruka getting tackled from behind by Snapped and Popped, followed by a sped-up close-up of Haruka being pulled to the ground and having mud smeared all over herself. “...who then proceeded to rough her up and spit her out!” The scene ended showing Haruka getting thrown into the mud-ditch.

“At number five it’s our very own Herbie the Steamy Pile!” The scene showed Herbie facing the camera and spraying it, then switched to show him lying face-down next to the catchnet at Big Brass Balls while Captain Tenneal started smacking him repeatedly with his cane. “Herbie got creamed after tripping and falling down by a rabid fangirl!” The scene then showed Black Magician Girl rushing up and giving Herbie the flying elbow-slam. Then the scene began looping, making it look like Black Magician Girl was bouncing up and down on him repeatedly at triple-normal speed. “That girl’s so nice he sprayed her twice!” The final scene showed a split-screen replay of both times Herbie sprayed Black Magician Girl.

“At the number four position it’s Insector Weevil of Team Kaiba!” The scene showed Weevil quickly making his way across the bridge at Big Brass Balls. Suddenly one of the balls being launched at him struck him squarely in the crotch and the accompanying sound effect was one of Homer Simpson’s high-pitched shrieks. “He takes a direct hit to his man-marbles and gets swatted out of the sky like the bug he is!” The next scene showed Weevil falling from the bridge, landing in the catchnet, and getting sprayed by Herbie the Steamy Pile. “Feel the burn, bug-boy!”

“At number three it’s Katsuya Jyoonouchi!” The scene showed Katsuya at the starting point of Log Drop, then switched to him beginning his run. “He tried to cross the log-field but falls short of the mark...” The scene showed Katsuya running across the rollers as quickly as he could, then stumbling and falling forward...and doing the splits on top of the one he was on. “Giving himself the mother of all pulled groin muscles!” The scene looped a few times, making it look like Katsuya was bouncing up and down on the roller, then resumed normal speed, showing him falling forward head-first into the mud. “Oooooo...that’s gonna be sore in the morning!”

“At number two it’s that cutie Black Magician Girl!” The scene showed Black Magician Girl starting at the bridge of Big Brass Balls, smiling and posing cutely, then switched to her crossing the bridge and getting nailed squarely in the butt with a ball. “Whose gluteus maximus gets the balling of a lifetime!” The TV began showing a fast-paced looping of the launched balls hitting Black Magician Girl’s butt over and over again, accompanied by the sound of her yelping in surprise each time. Then the scene looped in such a way that it looked like Black Magician Girl was getting hit in the butt ten times in one second. “With a butt like that it’s no wonder Herbie gave her some “preferential treatment”!” The next scene showed Black Magician Girl getting sprayed by Herbie.

“And finally! My number one most painful elimination of the day goes to...Yugi Matou!!” The scene showed Yugi cheering and calling out at the starting point of Dope on a Rope. “Who got totally shafted by fate as the Heart of the Cards...” The scene switched to show Yugi beginning his swing, then falling off and going face-first into the mud. “...planted his head in the sludge!” The scene replayed, zooming in and slowing down to show Yugi’s expression a split-second before he hit the mud. “Oh, I just can’t watch this...oh wait, yes I can!!” Yugi’s face-plant was replayed three more times at double-speed.

 

The scene switched to a wide wooden bridge crossing over a huge field of deep mud. Standing along the edge of it was everyone from Team Yugi, from Yugi and his friends to Haruka, Matsumi, and Senshi Guardian. All of them were staring down nervously at the huge expanse of mud that laid three meters below them. What made them even more nervous was the fact that everyone from Team Kaiba was standing right behind them and snickering. Vic Romano, Kenny Blankenship, and Captain Tenneal stood nearby as well.

“And that concludes our first historic episode of Anime MXC,” stated Vic, “And I have to admit that exceeded all of my expectations.”

“Indeed,” added Captain Tenneal, “Everyone behaved and performed like true sportsmen throughout it all. I must say I felt honored to be your field marshall.”

“And now we’ve come to the part I’m really looking forward to!” stated Kenny.

“Oh yes! MXC’s newest tradition!” added Vic, “The Punishment Pit!!!” The Captain blew his whistle and gave his cane a swing.

“GET ‘EM IN!!” he called out. With a huge shout of joy, Team Kaiba rushed forward and shoved everyone in Team Yugi off the bridge. With a gigantic splash that almost splattered the people still on the bridge, Team Yugi landed messily in three feet of mud.

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” screamed everyone in Team Kaiba as they watched everyone in Team Yugi flail around helplessly. Kenny just laughed and pointed at the losers.

“Sorry, Matsy!” called out Clone-chan as Matsumi Kaze stumbled around in the mud, then tripped on something and fell down face-first in the stuff.

“No hard feelings, Mike!” yelled Wolfwood to Senshi Guardian as he tried to stand up, his robes utterly drenched.

“Waaaaaaaahhh!” cried Black Magician Girl as she stumbled and fell backwards into the mud, sinking in up to her shoulders.

“Hiroto! Ryuuji!” screamed Anzu at the top of her lungs, “Stop staring at me like that!! Jeez, I feel like a monkey in a zoo here!!” Pegasus J. Crawford was too busy sobbing, Shizuka was just grumbling to herself, Katsuya tried to fling a handful of mud back up at Varon ( but lost his balance and fell back into the mud ), and Yugi was trying to help Rebecca get to her feet.

“Enjoy your mud-bath, losers! You too, Katsuya!” called out Mai.

“There’s just something so satisfying about seeing all of them floundering around in a pool of mud,” sighed Dartz.

“Yeah,” added Ryuusaki, “And seeing Anzu with a wet t-shirt like that is a total bonus!!” All of a sudden, Seto Kaiba yelped in surprise as someone shoved him from behind. Flailing his arms around wildly, he was helpless to prevent himself from flying off the bridge and doing a belly-flop into the mud, knocking over Rebecca and Yugi in the process and splattering everyone else in Team Yugi with more mud.

“Darling! You saved me!” cried Rebecca as she hugged Yugi tightly.

“Gah!” exclaimed Yugi as they both began to sink deeper into the mud. Meanwhile, Seto was flailing wildly in the mud as she struggled to turn over and look back up at the bridge.

“Kekekekekekeke!!!” snickered the diminutive form of Chi-chi, the Toon Blue-eyes White Dragon as he watched Seto floundering in the mud down below. The camera turned slightly and zoomed in on someone crouching near some trees in the distance. She was a slender girl with brown eyes, glasses, long brown hair, and wolf-ears and a tail. On her left arm was a Duel-Deck that she had just used to summon Chi-chi, Seto Kaiba’s least-favorite card of all. The girl laughed out loud as she flashed the V-sign at the camera.

“Gotcha, Kaiba!” she called out as Chi-chi gave out a low-pitched roar and dove off the bridge...right onto Seto’s back. Seto bellowed in outrage as Chi-chi landed on his back and proceeded to start shoving him underneath the mud over and over again.

“GET HIM!!” screamed Matsumi as she lunged forward and dived on top of Seto.

“O-hohohohohoho!!!” laughed Black Magician Girl as she joined in, putting Seto in a headlock as he tried to get away.

“That’s it Seto-kun!” added Shizuka as she also joined in the dog-piling of Seto, “This mud’s a natural exfoliant! Just ease into it!”

“Yeah! Get in there!” shouted Anzu, “GET IN THERE!!” Chi-chi began growling something that sounded like the tune to “Living La Vida Loca” as they all proceeded to drag Seto further into the mud-pool for a thorough saturation. Team Kaiba just laughed their butts off as Seto’s torment continued.

“And that does it for the first episode of Anime MXC!” announced Vic Romano, “Don’t forget to tune in next time and remember...what do we always say?!”

“DON’T...GET...ELIMINATED!!!” screamed everyone on Team Kaiba at the top of their lungs, posing triumphantly.

“Screw you guys!!” wailed Seto.