A Helping Hand
A Helping Hand
By Yaijinden
June 4th, 2005
Time Placement: 2005
One of the conveniences of being friends with the staff of the university library was that you had access to a multitude of resources that were simply not available to most people. When they had first started planning Artemis's legal defense, Hotaru had not considered that they would need access to the law library- but when the idea had struck her, they had jumped at the chance to have actual reference work available to them.After having spent the past several days almost locked away in there, pouring over tome after arcane tome, Artemis no longer found that he had the heart to mock Jedite. Yes, the Shittenou had taken law up voluntarily, as a way to begin laying the groundwork for his next world domination scheme- but Artemis was being forced to look into this to save what was left of his livelihood. Yes, he was living simply- but he was also living free of any work obligations. If Luna got what she wanted...
Suddenly irritated with the train of thought, Artemis sighed and put the book back down on his table, putting his fingers to his temples and rubbing. He was going to develop eyestrain if they couldn't find the hole in Luna's prosecution- and they both knew there was a hole. His wife- soon-to-be ex-wife, he corrected himself- was aiming for far more than her fair share (and if she got anything, that was more than her fair share). There was a hole in the argument the prosecution, there had to be- her argument was based on one too many tenuous conjectures.
All they needed was a precedent that spoke the other way, and they would be in the clear.
He closed his eyes and rubbed at them, irritated. Artemis still wasn't used to spending this much time in his human form. His eyesight was a cat was the equal or better of any normal person's- but they didn't let cats in the library, and they didn't check these books out, so human it had to be.
What he disliked most about being human, though, was having to wear the trucker's cap to conceal the golden crescent moon on his forehead. It was a ridiculous contrast to the rest of his outfit, but given his other options for headwear, it was the best of his options.
The cat-turned-man glanced over to Hotaru, who was nose-deep in a massive book regarding alimony settlements in the 1980s. "I couldn't read another word," Artemis announced, pushing away from the table. "It's lunchtime, anyway."
She didn't look up. She didn't give any indication that she'd heard him, either. "My treat," he offered.
Still no response. Raising a mildly concerned eyebrow, Artemis silently stepped around the table and stood behind Hotaru, noticing the dual-jacketed book concealed within the much denser legal tome. Once he recognized the title, printed above the text, the reason for her preternatural concentration on the text was suddenly obvious.
"As he thrust his quivering..." he read aloud, trailing off.
The effect was almost instantaneous. Hotaru reflexively snapped the book shut and twisted away. The horrified expression on her face was blended thoroughly with embarrassment- the sort of emotional combination worn by every and any teenager that had been inadvertently discovered by a parent doing something that no parent ever really wants to see their child learning about.
"I don't- I don't know how that got in there," Hotaru said quickly, turning a brilliant shade of red.
"Sure you don't," Artemis observed with a small, sad smile. "You know I appreciate your help, but if all that's going to happen is you reading that trash..."
"It is NOT trash," the other girl responded fiercely, clutching her book to her chest. "These are CLASSIC works of literature. I'm just... I'm just broadening my horizons."
"Danielle Steele," he said dryly, "is not on any classics list I've ever heard."
The angry glare Hotaru flashed at him was not new to him. Artemis had been on the receiving end of those glares more often than he cared to remember. He waited a moment for her to say something, to be irritated with him- but Hotaru was silent, taking measured breaths. There was a strange sincerity in her gaze...
...but buried in there, though, was a seed of hurt that he was immediately regretful about touching. "Hey, now," Artemis said gently, holding his hands up defensively. "I didn't mean-"
"NOBODY does!" Hotaru shouted back at him, slamming the book on the table. She pointed a finger at him and tilted her head back. "Nobody understands what this is about!" she yelled, ignoring the stares of the many law students. "You don't know! Jedite doesn't know! Minako doesn't know! Nobody knows what this is about and you don't CARE, either!!"
"Hey now, that's NOT true-"
"This is just a JOKE to you!" she screamed at him. "It's a JOKE, and I'm SICK of being the butt of it!!"
There was a violence in her voice that Artemis had never heard from Hotaru, and it killed any response he had intended. Dumbstruck, he could only watch as she whirled around on her heel and fled the library.
Only after she was gone was he suddenly keenly and acutely aware of all the eyes in the room, trained on him...
Park benches were often very good places to sit. Some were planted under trees; others were fixed on hills, situated so you could see a long distance.
Hotaru's eyes were fixed sightlessly on the horizon, legs folded to her chest. She didn't want to go home right now- especially not after she'd blown up at Artemis. She already regretted blowing up at him; he'd just been convenient, and if she was distressed enough to be angry at him for something that wasn't even really his fault...
When she heard a slight rustle in the grass, she knew who it was that had come. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," Hotaru said quietly, sighing. "I'm just tired of everyone hassling me when they find me with something that isn't by Yeats, or Whitman, or written in Enochian..."
"It's okay," Artemis said reassuringly, leaping onto the bench aside her. "You... gonna be okay?"
Hotaru looked away. "I'm tired of people treating me like the baby," she said dourly. "Just because I didn't have a magical love affair dropped in my lap doesn't mean I don't know what it is. Between all the couples around here, I KNOW how these things go!"
Artemis sat down on his haunches and tilted his head. "This isn't about them at all, is it?" he said with a sad smile.
"It... ugh." She laughed, a brief, bitter sound. "Maybe it isn't," Hotaru conceeded, meeting his eyes for a moment. "But it certainly doesn't help that they insist on making my life difficult."
"Okay, then." The cat took a deep breath and rubbed against her leg, putting himself in her way. "What's really bothering you?" he asked.
"...it's just a trifle," she responded, offering an ingenuine smile. "Nothing I can't handle on my own, I promise. Weren't you offering lunch a few minutes ago?"
"Even if I ignore that pathetic attempt at changing the topic," Artemis replied, unimpressed, "we're talking about you. Not lunch. This has something to do with that guy you met in the other channel, doesn't it?"
Hotaru raised an eyebrow. "Were you like this with sempai when she was younger?" she said, mildly impressed.
He rolled his eyes resignedly and shook his head. "Oh, the stories I could tell about those arguments..."
She relaxed after a moment, putting her feet on the grass and scooping Artemis up into her lap. "I thought," Hotaru observed contemplatively, "and I still think, that there was a lot to respect about him. He's smart. He's funny. He's not as well-read as I am, but he's an artist in his own strange way... and it's attractive."
"So what's the problem?" he inquired, curious.
"I'm... pretty sure he knows I like him," she said, keeping her hands busy by petting Artemis. "I thought I'd done pretty well at keeping it a secret, but I'm for almost sure he knows, and I'm absolutely sure he knows how little experience I have... yo know, with this sort of thing."
"And?"
"And... well, that's it." Hotaru looked skyward, squinting against the sunlight she so seldom exposed herself to. "He knows, and he hasn't said anything to me about it- and I don't know what that's supposed to mean."
"Hmm. What do you think it might mean?"
"I don't know," she repeated, frowning. "There are so many options, and it could be any of them. He might be testing me to see if I ask myself. He might be shy. He might not be interested, or he might be interested in me but not in what I'd want..."
The Soldier of Ruin shook her head after a moment. "I almost wish I had sempai's power to read people," she murmured. "It would make things so much easier..."
Artemis was not new to the counseling business. It was something he'd been working at his whole life. Why was he having to fight himself to advise her? "So why haven't you asked him yourself?" he inquired, making himself smile for her benefit. "The worst that can happen is he says 'no...'"
"Maybe," she said thoughtfully. "But what if he says yes?"
"...I think you lost me. Isn't that what you want?"
"Ugh... maybe." Hotaru sighed irritably, scratching behind his ears. "We were acquaintances before any of this. I've had time to become familiar with some of his failings."
"And?" he prompted.
"He's not... the most moral of people," she admitted, hesitant. "He's even proud of that fact, and I'm not sure why that appeals to me at all. If he tries to drag me into that amoral indifference... what if I like it there? What sort of compromises will I end up making?"
"Hotaru."
"Mmm?" She watched as he sprang from her lap and turned around to face her. Distantly, Hotaru wondered if she had seen his lecture face before.
Artemis closed his eyes for a moment, looking for the right words. "Hotaru, nobody can make you change who you are but you," he said confidently. "If you don't want to stop being thoughtful, kind, attentive, then listen to your heart. You've got a strong inner voice- don't let yourself drown it out with doubt."
"'Follow my conscience,'?" she said dryly.
"Only you can decide what makes you happy," the feline figure agreed, nodding. "Nobody else can decide for you... and that means you have to decide for yourself."
"...yeah." Hotaru nodded after a moment, an absent smile playing on her lips. "I think, somehow, I knew that already. Maybe I just needed to hear it from someone else."
Artemis smirked and nodded agreement. "That generally helps, yeah."
She leaned over and scratched the top of his head before standing up. "I think I want to get back into the air conditioning," the pale young woman said lightly, smiling. "And maybe you can pay for dinner, then."
The cat blanched. "You know, I was almost hoping you'd forgotten that..."